FabSwingers.com forum: am I doing something wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been on this site for months now and i thought I would've at least had a social by now, but instead I don't even get replies.... am I that repulsive?

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By *hoenix Couple 666Couple
over a year ago

Dewsbury

"Been on this site for months now and i thought I would've at least had a social by now, but instead I don't even get replies.... am I that repulsive?"

Have you gone to organised socials? Gone to clubs?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/09/19 11:40:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 months ain't really that long on here mate

. I'm sure it will get better!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Lots of men are in the same boat.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Effort in = rewards out. There's plenty of existing threads offering advice and plenty on my profile should you wish to use it. Since you haven't asked for advice or can't be given. Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not getting meets and not going to swinging clubs are entirely different,I think you posted on the wrong forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Effort in = rewards out. There's plenty of existing threads offering advice and plenty on my profile should you wish to use it. Since you haven't asked for advice or can't be given. Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for.

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

For you single men it's generally tough, as you will quickly notice when you scan through the high volume of similar posts from others every week. The right effort gets improved potential for positive results but everyone looking has their own tastes and preferences.

The usual tactics to improve results are to ensure your profile really sells you well. Get to socials and possibly clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

You’ve been on 7 days, already cam verified. Effort in does equal rewards out. There are people here months who can’t even get cam verification by others. But when you read these posts and the women’s replies all the time, you can see that it’s accurate. Effort in writing a good profile, having at least one good photo, sending messages that are tailored to the person you’re approaching, that does pay off as also shared by numerous men who do have success in meets. Lots of guys just send cock pics and a brief chat up line. Then think they worked hard because they copy and pasted it to 50 people. Then post in frustration. I get it’s hard, single men are more than happy to share this, but the person you replied to wasn’t mean, didn’t do anything but offer help as the rules don’t allow comment on profile without someone specifically asking. Most don’t even want to put the effort into just having a profile pic or words in profile. They think that they should be buried in women for signing up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site for months now and i thought I would've at least had a social by now, but instead I don't even get replies.... am I that repulsive?"

It’s not that there’s something wrong. So many men are in the same boat. Hope it gets easier! Definitely take Ms Wood’s advice and maybe also try to get to an organised event. It isn’t easy xx good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You’ve been on 7 days, already cam verified. Effort in does equal rewards out. There are people here months who can’t even get cam verification by others. But when you read these posts and the women’s replies all the time, you can see that it’s accurate. Effort in writing a good profile, having at least one good photo, sending messages that are tailored to the person you’re approaching, that does pay off as also shared by numerous men who do have success in meets. Lots of guys just send cock pics and a brief chat up line. Then think they worked hard because they copy and pasted it to 50 people. Then post in frustration. I get it’s hard, single men are more than happy to share this, but the person you replied to wasn’t mean, didn’t do anything but offer help as the rules don’t allow comment on profile without someone specifically asking. Most don’t even want to put the effort into just having a profile pic or words in profile. They think that they should be buried in women for signing up. "

I didn't mean to give the impression that she was being mean. It's just that sometimes people are accused of being lazy or not putting effort into their profile or messages when there's a whole load of other reasons why they might not be getting replies.

This isn't a moan, just want others to be aware that they might be ignored and it isn't their fault so they shouldn't be too disheartened.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

The only people on here that can get meets within the first couple of weeks are women. We are vastly outnumbered. We are bombarded with messages (unless our filters are on.)

We are very selective and we like to be entertained and amused by you in a non sexual manner initially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand why women don't put filters on IF deleting massively!

I thought people were fussy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why women don't put filters on IF deleting massively!

I thought people were fussy!!

Because "I'm getting sooo many messages, mass deleting!" makes for a good status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you not get enough helpful responses on the last thread on the subject?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys. Really get yourselves to clubs and socials. Once you’re no longer an unknown quandary it’ll get easier. But being on here, sex will not come knocking at your door.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

To be honest your profile could do with some work. To be blunt it comes off a bit like you’ve not got a clue what you’re doing here but for some reason are a bit bitter about it... I’d do some work on that and get yourself to a club to mingle a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site for months now and i thought I would've at least had a social by now, but instead I don't even get replies.... am I that repulsive?"

You can take all the good advice in the world, but unless you have the body of a young Brad Pitt, the intelligence of Stephen Hawkins and the cutting wit of..I don't know, someone very witty, this site is absolutely useless for single males. You're better off on POF.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

I'm new and not had a problem. I did pluck up the courage to go to a club alone though and that gave me a massive confidence boost. One of my veris is from a lovely couple at the club. The other one is from the one and only couple I met on here. The hidden ones are from a a young lady who winked at me and then cammed with me.I don't know maybe I'm just lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys. Really get yourselves to clubs and socials. Once you’re no longer an unknown quandary it’ll get easier. But being on here, sex will not come knocking at your door. "

this

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

Do men have any experience of what it's like having a single females profile? To be honest, I'm on the verge of blocking all single men again. I spend a lot of my time here giving advice, in fact, most of my profile is based on that. Quite frankly, I don't know why I bother as some can't be helped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same boat. I'm not doing the boring hi how are you messages I'm sending messages with effort in which makes people want to message back but still get nothing back. Starting to think it's my looks. Puts people down with no replies especially if there's effort in the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree, I've been here a while and sent many messages with zero response, nothing vulgar or abusive, just normal, convo starters, can't seem to get anywhere??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site for months now and i thought I would've at least had a social by now, but instead I don't even get replies.... am I that repulsive?"

If being on here and dogging are your only options. You're going be stuck. Like others have said, social gatherings, clubs. Worth searching in the forums to see what's available in your area x

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

youre young if youre not interested in meeting guys take the bi bit off profile many women will discount you for it and better pics might help, your profile is your advert make it the best it can be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of us who do quite well on here are telling you to get out there and you ignore it and just keep sending boring messages from boring profiles. Put some effort in and do something. If you aren’t going to bother venturing out. Go use tinder. This isn’t for you.

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By *nlyoneruleMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Definitely agree on getting yourself out and about to start. I've been on here for three months. Started with a couple of clubs, got chatting and things have gone great from there. Have met some wonderful people.

I get knocked back plenty but you have to understand we are all looking for different things. No drama required. I'm a middle aged man with a dad bod but I am really enjoying the FAB experience. Better than I ever imagined.

The point of me saying this? It's to the OP and others who aren't meeting people that the advice people give on this thread has worked for me. Just be true to yourself people can see when you try to be something your not when messaging. When you agree to meet actually turn up...that'll put you ahead of lots of single men!

Perhaps take it on board, particularly about your profile content and see what happens!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we as a couple get plenty of knockbacks, thats the world of fab, but we have noticed alot more single guys expecting a meet in days,its a swinging site not instashag

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

A lot of people will check profiles in stealth mode before even reading a message, and will make decisions based on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

I say this a lot, but I've had the experience of being a single male on here for years before I got together with P on my Bliss By Mouth singles profile which I'm on much less now obviously. I put the effort into it and meeting people early on and from my own experience I found being a single bloke on here an absolute breeze which I believe was mostly because of that.

Replying to 20 odd messages a day when much more active on it is easier than running a couples profile, with the amount of mail to get through and personally I'd hate to be a single woman on here most of all as with working hours and fatherhood etc I'd never have the time to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to reinforce what ED says above. I know several men who maintain they have more success on Fab than Tinder and dating sites. They’re sociable, fun company, like to meet people, relaxed if it doesn’t work out and go to socials and clubs to make themselves known to people. Some of them may contribute here or may have contributed to your previous post on the subject. I’m not sure you’ll get any different answers than those you got 4 days ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to reinforce what ED says above. I know several men who maintain they have more success on Fab than Tinder and dating sites. They’re sociable, fun company, like to meet people, relaxed if it doesn’t work out and go to socials and clubs to make themselves known to people. Some of them may contribute here or may have contributed to your previous post on the subject. I’m not sure you’ll get any different answers than those you got 4 days ago."
he never read the ones 4 days ago he was too busy with all the dates he got from last thread

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

I think your age could go against you but there's nothing wrong with your profile fella

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

And if you put in no effort, that good chance becomes an even bigger chance of being ignored or deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women and couples say this all the time when they have no idea what the experience is like for men?

You can put as much effort in as you like but given the gender balance on here there is a very good chance of your message being ignored or mass deleted."

This, or 'get yourself to a social' when that is completely impractical for some people. Don't forget, single males also have to put themselves out there first, as most women don't have profile pics of their face. There may be good reason for this, but it doesn't change the validity of the point.

The only thing I really agree with is that those are the rules of the site.

I closed my male profile. It's easier for me to just go out on the town if I want to meet a single female.

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By *anhung22Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hey chin up mate been on here 3 times previously with good success. No matter how much effort you put in msg's unlikely to get reply unless you appeal to them especially from single females

**** Will say though a simple NO THANKS would go a long way to make you not so disillusioned

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