FabSwingers.com forum: How do you articulate a preference...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

without being offensive.

I'm white. I have been very fortunate to play with african and chinese ladies in the past and would love to broaden my experience. However, I absolutely do not wish to cause offence.

I see people as people and race doesn't come into it whenever I get on well with someone. I don't want to be someone who is seen as treating women from other backgrounds as a "novelty item", so I find myself unwilling and unable to make a move.

Can anyone offer any practical advice?

If I was a woman, I could attend the likes of BMFC. For men, its a bit trickier.

My motives are based on enjoying the aesthetics of contrasting skin tones, nothing more.

I was even unsure about posting this. I'm hoping the wise forumites can guide me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you need to say anything? Mail the women you fancy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

You can turn down people in various ways as to ensure they are not offended. You don’t need to give a reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You can turn down people in various ways as to ensure they are not offended. You don’t need to give a reason. "

I'm not looking to turn people down, although an offer every now again would be good!

It is whether to include something in my already too long a profile...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

"You can turn down people in various ways as to ensure they are not offended. You don’t need to give a reason.

I'm not looking to turn people down, although an offer every now again would be good!

It is whether to include something in my already too long a profile..."

I think as a man you don't really have to worry about including your preference. I think us women do it to lessen the bulk in our inboxes and only really get messages (we hope) from those we would want to hear from rather than spending hours doing admin. Plus it saves the guys we aren't interested in from wasting their times sending us a message to only have it deleted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never put preferences because it's about individuals for me. I would never right off a whole section of the population any more than I would fancy a whole section of the population just because ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your thoughs so far.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

For me any profiles I've read that have a preference based on skin tone or colour or mentions BBC I avoid.

Other than my skin tone, anatomically I have the same body parts as any another woman. My skin doesn't define me, doesn't make me different.

I may have a different culture, upbringing and personality but you don't know that until you have spoken to me, gotten to know me.

As soon as someone mentions my skin, I know I'm a novelty, something to try "exotic", less than a person.

My preferences are based on personality types and how I'd like to be treated, not where someone comes from or the colour of their skin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP I think it's very difficult to state a preference for a particular skin tone or dislike thereof, without it coming across poorly somehow.

If you feel the need to mention it, do so in a positive way. For example "women of all backgrounds and skin colours welcome." Is better than explicitly mentioning a preference, in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you need to say anything? Mail the women you fancy.

This.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me any profiles I've read that have a preference based on skin tone or colour or mentions BBC I avoid.

Other than my skin tone, anatomically I have the same body parts as any another woman. My skin doesn't define me, doesn't make me different.

I may have a different culture, upbringing and personality but you don't know that until you have spoken to me, gotten to know me.

As soon as someone mentions my skin, I know I'm a novelty, something to try "exotic", less than a person.

My preferences are based on personality types and how I'd like to be treated, not where someone comes from or the colour of their skin.

And this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you need to say anything? Mail the women you fancy.

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"You can turn down people in various ways as to ensure they are not offended. You don’t need to give a reason.

I'm not looking to turn people down, although an offer every now again would be good!

It is whether to include something in my already too long a profile..."

No idea if it's pc to, but I like the idea of certain races and included it in my bio... Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"For me any profiles I've read that have a preference based on skin tone or colour or mentions BBC I avoid.

Other than my skin tone, anatomically I have the same body parts as any another woman. My skin doesn't define me, doesn't make me different.

I may have a different culture, upbringing and personality but you don't know that until you have spoken to me, gotten to know me.

As soon as someone mentions my skin, I know I'm a novelty, something to try "exotic", less than a person.

My preferences are based on personality types and how I'd like to be treated, not where someone comes from or the colour of their skin.

Ha, i get this all the time with men... They just see me as a new sweet and nothing much else...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread