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Discretion

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

For a living I have to visit and deal with lots of different people in a lot of different firms, and try to keep my work life and private separate, and would cause a great deal of embarassment if i was recognised and would not do my work prospects any favours. So i do keep my photos private but I am more than willing to send them on request after i have found out a little about the person i want to meet. Just to make sure i am not going to bump into someone in a meeting in the near future. I know this is a little guarded and wont help get meets but is there any tips to remain discreet without being such a closed book?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's no way to remain 100% discreet if you wish to meet someone, you have to send face pictures at some point or at the very least meet face to face. Resolve that in the unlikely but not impossible event that you do end up in a meeting with a previous meet that you will remain professional and polite. It's worth bearing in mind that's easier to do if you always remain on good terms

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You have to work out what level of risk you're prepared to take.

Personally my photos exclude my head or any obvious scars/ marks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi - OP this is a sensitivr subject and I am sure will trouble a lot

Showing your face pictures is only your choice, but I would suggest if you are in a sensitive job, only to show face pic if you connect with some one on here

Trust me if you get it wrong it is horrid, I have been very badly stalked twice on here

Happy and Safe fabbing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"You have to work out what level of risk you're prepared to take.

Personally my photos exclude my head or any obvious scars/ marks. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the same concerns so only show my face when sure I’m interested but still a risk

It helps that guys will probably be more likely to share a face pic early than ladies on here due to the odds

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi guys,

Thank you for your responses, all very helpfull and nice to know that i am not the only one in this boat. I know that the odds of bumping into someone are quite small but its better to be safe than sorry. I do try to be polite and create a connection, but there seems to be alot of rushing through the getting to know what each others about bit. It just seems the socialising side of this has gotten a little lost on some people which is a shame.

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Hi all,

For a living I have to visit and deal with lots of different people in a lot of different firms, and try to keep my work life and private separate, and would cause a great deal of embarassment if i was recognised and would not do my work prospects any favours. So i do keep my photos private but I am more than willing to send them on request after i have found out a little about the person i want to meet. Just to make sure i am not going to bump into someone in a meeting in the near future. I know this is a little guarded and wont help get meets but is there any tips to remain discreet without being such a closed book?

"

Reading that and the implications it sounds as though the swinging scene isn't suitable for you I mean if your job could be at risk is it really worth it.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

OP as others have said it's a concern most of us have to a greater or lesser degree and it really is about deciding the level of risk you're willing to take - and finding the right balance that works for you based on that level of risk.

There are however plenty of pics you can post that don't reveal your identity and without just being cock shots either - if you're struggling for ideas take a look around at other well verified guys pics for inspiration - you can achieve a lot with a simple phone camera and a cheap tripod that will be appealing but not revealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hàve bumped into a work collegue of my husbands and it was all fine. However, if i was recognised by someone who knows where i work it would put me in a very precarious position. If work got to know i would be sacked...unfair but true.

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By *nglishdoodMan
over a year ago

Morristown

All good points here but also remember they are probably in the same boat. If I met anyone I knew in my daily life here I imagine we'd have a laugh about it and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not sure if it's attitudes are in different depending on the area of the UK someone is from.

I'm in the North East and have found up here at least attitudes of employers regarding swinging are it's your private life so it's irrelevant. I work in management for a council and if it came out then I'm not ashamed so I would own it and there's a female member of staff pretty at my place who is open about her lifestyle and nobody batters an eye lid. My previous employer was private sector and they were pretty laid back and respected people's right to a private life aswell.

Outside of been a politician or very public figure I find it hard to see which type of jobs it would effect.

We share face pictures via messages and are prepared to do it early on because we don't want to waste time if the attraction isn't there.

One thing we do is we never have our faces in any of our nude pictures. We use a normal life face picture and any nude pictures couldn't be identified as specifically us.

Also we attend clubs, parties and would go to a social event when one comes up we fancy.

You can't hide your face at any of those places but if you are recognized the other person is there for the same reason so I reckon 99% of the time that happens (which isn't often) both parties just respect the others privacy.

Finally we as a couple share face pictures on request and do expect the same. It's of course infinitely harder for single males to get a meet on here due to the sheer volume of single males compared to single woman and MF couples. If a single male hesitates to share a face picture with us then it might be because of their work but it could also be they are married, cheating etc so as we are spoilt for choice we will just move to the next message profile rather than take risks. Harsh maybe but thats the reality.

KJ x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I am not sure if it's attitudes are in different depending on the area of the UK someone is from.

"

I don't think it's necessarily geography that dictates it more the job sector or even different employers.

For example I can imagine someone who was a teacher might have to be very careful - despite their adult life outside of school being exactly that - the inference and likely fallout (as a result of uninformed outraged parents) from being discovered would possibly be untenable.

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By *elliNevvaMan
over a year ago

London

I think you're slightly over thinking things Op -After all, it says more about the person that recognises you and then wants to penalise you for that because they recognise you on here doesn't it? They are on here -and by association also (I presume) won't want to draw attention as to how they came across your profile in the first place. It would take a brave fool to publically condemn or punish you for being on here in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure if it's attitudes are in different depending on the area of the UK someone is from.

I don't think it's necessarily geography that dictates it more the job sector or even different employers.

For example I can imagine someone who was a teacher might have to be very careful - despite their adult life outside of school being exactly that - the inference and likely fallout (as a result of uninformed outraged parents) from being discovered would possibly be untenable."

Interesting points

So far jobs that could be compromised by been outed as a swinger.

Politicians

Teachers (of children)

Any more?

I'm genuinely curious.

In this day and age I can't imagine any employer legally been able to sack somebody if it was found out they were let's say transgender or bisexual. So why can it / could it happen to somebody for been a swinger?

At the end of the day been a swinger is ultimately a sexual lifestyle preference that someone makes with consenting adults in their private life.

Knowing our HR policies in depth and how they safe guard individuals against any form of lifestyle discrimination I'd love to see how it would hold up legally.

KJ x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I am not sure if it's attitudes are in different depending on the area of the UK someone is from.

I don't think it's necessarily geography that dictates it more the job sector or even different employers.

For example I can imagine someone who was a teacher might have to be very careful - despite their adult life outside of school being exactly that - the inference and likely fallout (as a result of uninformed outraged parents) from being discovered would possibly be untenable.

Interesting points

So far jobs that could be compromised by been outed as a swinger.

Politicians

Teachers (of children)

Any more?

I'm genuinely curious.

In this day and age I can't imagine any employer legally been able to sack somebody if it was found out they were let's say transgender or bisexual. So why can it / could it happen to somebody for been a swinger?

At the end of the day been a swinger is ultimately a sexual lifestyle preference that someone makes with consenting adults in their private life.

Knowing our HR policies in depth and how they safe guard individuals against any form of lifestyle discrimination I'd love to see how it would hold up legally.

KJ x

"

I think a lot would depend on how it came out about your lifestyle - someone stumbling over your profile the impact would be minimal and could probably fall under the category of "what you do in your private time is your own business" - but something with wider exposure (such as the news headlines a few years ago with Swingfields attendees splashed all over them) I can see some employers using the "Bringing the company name into disrepute" catch all clause.

As for other employers that would take a dim view I can imagine there are a number - the Armed Forces or the Police for example it could be said that discovery of activities here could leave you open to corruption.

Anything where you're in the public eye, even in a low key way would potentially be another.

In most instances I would imagine it would be dealt with on a case by case basis though but the "disrepute" clause that most employers have would probably be used

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure if it's attitudes are in different depending on the area of the UK someone is from.

I don't think it's necessarily geography that dictates it more the job sector or even different employers.

For example I can imagine someone who was a teacher might have to be very careful - despite their adult life outside of school being exactly that - the inference and likely fallout (as a result of uninformed outraged parents) from being discovered would possibly be untenable.

Interesting points

So far jobs that could be compromised by been outed as a swinger.

Politicians

Teachers (of children)

Any more?

I'm genuinely curious.

In this day and age I can't imagine any employer legally been able to sack somebody if it was found out they were let's say transgender or bisexual. So why can it / could it happen to somebody for been a swinger?

At the end of the day been a swinger is ultimately a sexual lifestyle preference that someone makes with consenting adults in their private life.

Knowing our HR policies in depth and how they safe guard individuals against any form of lifestyle discrimination I'd love to see how it would hold up legally.

KJ x

I think a lot would depend on how it came out about your lifestyle - someone stumbling over your profile the impact would be minimal and could probably fall under the category of "what you do in your private time is your own business" - but something with wider exposure (such as the news headlines a few years ago with Swingfields attendees splashed all over them) I can see some employers using the "Bringing the company name into disrepute" catch all clause.

As for other employers that would take a dim view I can imagine there are a number - the Armed Forces or the Police for example it could be said that discovery of activities here could leave you open to corruption.

Anything where you're in the public eye, even in a low key way would potentially be another.

In most instances I would imagine it would be dealt with on a case by case basis though but the "disrepute" clause that most employers have would probably be used "

Interesting post.

I don't profess to know it all I'm simply interested in the subject.

Funny enough we know swingers who are both in the armed forces and the police and both don't really worry about or hide what they do.

In fact our local swingers club gives discount to both arm forces personal (active and ex) and also to blue light personal.

KJ x

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