FabSwingers.com forum: Single men!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps I’m a traditionalist but I often consider it common courtesy, a simple thanks but no thanks.

I always take the time to read a profile fully, likes and dislikes, write a long considered reply, attach a face picture and personally find “deleted” somewhat rude. Manners cost nothing.

I agree if the message was a penis pic and a hey babe I’d be tempted not to reply, however whilst I am not looking for men I seem to get many winks or messages from them yet still thank them for their message and say not for me.

After all we are all here for the same thing and should treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

Because they’ve joined a swinging site & looking for fun with other people single or couples

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

When you get over 300 messages a day it's hard to find the time to reply to every single one of them. Deleting is a polite way of giving a no thanks. And it saves us then having to read abuse messages because we said no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's called being polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you get over 300 messages a day it's hard to find the time to reply to every single one of them. Deleting is a polite way of giving a no thanks. And it saves us then having to read abuse messages because we said no. "

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it’s a swinging site and people are looking for fun! I work and do have a life and can’t always read everyone’s messages and reply. That doesn’t mean I need to get more messages saying I am rude for not replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it’s a swinging site and people are looking for fun! I work and do have a life and can’t always read everyone’s messages and reply. That doesn’t mean I need to get more messages saying I am rude for not replying."

Likewise I have a professional role and life outside this site. It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all? Other males get tarred with the same brush and ladies and couples don’t want to open the door to abuse. Sad times!

Imagine if clubs were like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I always would try and reply because it's polite, but unfortunately many guys will not take no, its rejection thing or an ego thing. Single females and many couples may get 100s of messages depending their settings. 98% I would guess have not read profile and contain 1 line or couple of words . It is too much to be able to answer every message especially when the reply will most likely be "why are you on this site if you don't want to fuck" or similar. Unfortunately cos the person has only joined the site because they think it is a free sex site you will end up spending all your time bulk deleting messages so no reply is really the only option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always thought a reply or just delete my message. Being polite and just accepting that not everyone is turned on by everyone else.

However, I have been on this site as a couple, and some men just don’t get that and pester, and can become abusive.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Because they’ve joined a swinging site & looking for fun with other people single or couples "

Who'da thunk it?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all?"

We think it helps the decent ones stand out.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all?"

We think it helps the decent ones stand out.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

If people keep messaging I just think BORING

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Oh it happens, alot more often than you'd think, I recently showed a friend of mine some of the messages I get, either as a first message or as a response saying no thanks. He was horrified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can well imagine that. You would not walk up to a woman in a pub and say these things (or flip your cock out either!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all?

We think it helps the decent ones stand out."

Most often the decent ones will stand out ..... I say that from my own personal experience

unfortunately the issue with a lot of single males is not a new one and who will not accept that couples and singles here are simply gagging for their cock. So as in previous post no reply or a block is the only way to say no thankyou

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I can well imagine that. You would not walk up to a woman in a pub and say these things (or flip your cock out either!)"

Some of the stuff that's been said to me is actually horrific, I've been threatened several times for saying no to meeting, luckily admin was on the ball and sorted those pretty swiftly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can well imagine that. You would not walk up to a woman in a pub and say these things (or flip your cock out either!)"

This ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all?

We think it helps the decent ones stand out."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yes it happens

Some guys on here behave like small children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a totally different experience on here, I very rarely get rude messages (maybe a couple a year), I reply to virtually all my messages (except the ridiculously ignorant ones), and maybe have had a negative reply back a very few times in all the years I've been on here!

Not sure how/why this happens but do strictly manage my profile and it works wonderfully for me!

I would feel rude if I didn't reply

BUT this is for the people sending a first message PLEASE

*read a profile before you message

*talk to someone new much as if you were out in public

*never (just why oh why) be rude or disrespectful ... it makes you a not nice human being regardless how much you say you are on your profile!

Thanks & have a great day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the messages are horrendous.

There is no rule about must reply.

Sometimes with the amount of messages its easier to just delete cos when you write "no thanks" you get another message asking why

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Having been on this site and being swingers a few months (fib

) I find it hard to belive that people get 300 messages a day. We can get upto 30 if we have a meet up. Must interject and say from single men, not couples- we wish.

Even then we do try to reply to all. It's only polight. Although we do regually get the ones who repeat message offering, tomorrow, next week, next year ect. They get ignored after 2 replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have always said you should actually also report to the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you would not would you....hello darlin.....zip have some of this...... you would get arrested FFS lol

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By *athn huntMan
over a year ago

blackpool

Maybe because men only get the odd message every few weeks . And don't realise how many messages women really get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a delete is just a way of saying no thanks! At least it shows you not to contact them again. Why do some men take it so hard??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yes it happens

Some guys on here behave like small children"

Not me Sappy .. Hope you are doing ok.. Not spoken for a while xx

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yep... believe me they are

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

Agree and disagree.

I reply when I can.

If my "No thanks" is then followed by abuse, I will block them and report.

"No" means no and my choice should be respected.

Equally, if I do not respond, then guys should realise ladies way out number guys on here and should understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can well imagine that. You would not walk up to a woman in a pub and say these things (or flip your cock out either!)

Some of the stuff that's been said to me is actually horrific, I've been threatened several times for saying no to meeting, luckily admin was on the ball and sorted those pretty swiftly. "

That’s really shocked me, how awful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yes it happens

Some guys on here behave like small children"

Small children have some manners and don’t know any better....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I'm guessing,to make some sort of connection.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yes. It DOES really happen. As do the whinging "why not?" messages and the trying to change our mind pestering messages. And yes, people really are that stupid and discourteous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Oh yes lots of them

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Yes. It DOES really happen. As do the whinging "why not?" messages and the trying to change our mind pestering messages. And yes, people really are that stupid and discourteous. "

I hate the 'well, what's your type?', after a 'thanks, but you're not my type, sorry'.

Or they list what I'm looking for and say they tick all the boxes, then demand an answer and to why I don't think they are my type. It's so tedious.

Some men need to realise that the world doesn't revolve around their knob and just because they believe they tick all of our boxes, it doesn't mean they do.

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

Maybe its time for fab to introduce something of a single click action to satisfy everyone? At the minute, anyone not wanting to reply still has to read the message, (reply if they want to), then delete the message and if necessary, click the Block link too - a few actions.

How about a one click button/link that does all 3? The response message can be tailored by the individual so everyone gets the same thing but isnt a 'fab' generic one, the person sending their response gets the reply they crave, their account is blocked so they cant send abuse and the original message deleted so the inbox of the female/couple isnt overloaded....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

A guy called me a retard a couple days ago after I politely said no because his profile was hidden and he had no veris. Happens a lot. There are many men (a minority) on this site unfortunately who think that having a profile makes them entitled to sex.

It doesn't upset me, it vindicates my decision to not chat with them.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Maybe its time for fab to introduce something of a single click action to satisfy everyone? At the minute, anyone not wanting to reply still has to read the message, (reply if they want to), then delete the message and if necessary, click the Block link too - a few actions.

Honestly, I'd rather just delete the message unread, that's what I've had to start doing and it has reduced the abuse I receive by a huge amount.

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

Honestly, I'd rather just delete the message unread, that's what I've had to start doing and it has reduced the abuse I receive by a huge amount. "

I get that, I should have made it clear in my post that it could be an option, so you can still do things individually too if you wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

It doesn't upset me, it vindicates my decision to not chat with them."

And the point is, a few spoil for the many. It’s a shame your at that point but you can so see why!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

It doesn't upset me, it vindicates my decision to not chat with them.

And the point is, a few spoil for the many. It’s a shame your at that point but you can so see why!"

Not really, in my case anyway. I did say it was the minority, most guys are fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 thoughts occur.

1) Maybe filters need adjusting to reduce unnecessary bulk?

2) I agree - a delete works for me as a polite "no thanks". Leaves you in no doubt, unlike reading and ignoring a message.

3) There often seems to be a presumption, on both sides, that this online situation allows basic politeness to be dispensed with. I disagree. It takes little time and costs nothing. Although a recent response from a lady here said that she got significantly more abuse when sending back a polite "no thanks" than when she ignored incoming mail. Weird people we all must be.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Honestly, I'd rather just delete the message unread, that's what I've had to start doing and it has reduced the abuse I receive by a huge amount. "

I do this now as well, it really does help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Isn't it a similar situation ignoring a polite message or even blocking immediately similar to giving them the finger?

Each to their own, certainly some people would ignore a hello on the street, some would respond with a finger or a "Fuck you!"

To be honest I'm not interested in meeting people like that, so it doesn't bother me anyway.

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By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

Because they feel everyone should reply to them out of politeness.

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By *relanddirectMan
over a year ago

cheshire

I don’t “expect” a reply, It’s everybody’s prerogative to reply or not reply. However, it is nice when you receive a reply even if it is a no thank you. It’s nice to think somebody’s made the effort to read your message and make a decision rather than perhaps just deleting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t “expect” a reply, It’s everybody’s prerogative to reply or not reply. However, it is nice when you receive a reply even if it is a no thank you. It’s nice to think somebody’s made the effort to read your message and make a decision rather than perhaps just deleting"

I would always reply out of politeness even if was just a no, if been sent a polite and/or interesting message. But if it is, they clearly couldn't be arsed to make the effort, or to actually read the profile. I wouldn't waste my time replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sort of attitude is always appreciated! Speaking as someone who try’s to make each initial message as individual as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Because they feel everyone should reply to them out of politeness. "

TBF I think we're way past *expecting* replies. That ship has long since sailed.

And I personally don't think women should reply to me out of politeness - I think every person should reply to every other, out of politeness.

But hey, people are people, and that won't happen. So at least deleting messages gives a response of sorts and removes any element of doubt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Because they feel everyone should reply to them out of politeness.

TBF I think we're way past *expecting* replies. That ship has long since sailed.

And I personally don't think women should reply to me out of politeness - I think every person should reply to every other, out of politeness.

But hey, people are people, and that won't happen. So at least deleting messages gives a response of sorts and removes any element of doubt."

And do you feel it's polite for a guy to message a single female or couple,or male ,who's profile clearly doesn't match what the other party is looking for,do you think it's polite to message in the hope of meeting and still expect a polite response of no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And do you feel it's polite for a guy to message a single female or couple,or male ,who's profile clearly doesn't match what the other party is looking for,do you think it's polite to message in the hope of meeting and still expect a polite response of no thanks?"

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Not all single men of course. When first on Fab we have simply no idea of the numbers involved or the crude / demanding attitude that some men have. Anyone with half a brain grasps this pretty quickly. Also, if like me they’ve previous use of dating sites you develop a thick skin, you also overcome any worry of rejection. Different rules apply online to real life, although of course the basic rules of decency and respect to all should remain.

Guys- just imagine , how would you cope with 300 messages in one day?

When I message I hope for a reply but there is zero expectation.

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

If I send a polite message, I appreciate a response. Just courtesy.

How would you feel if you sent a message to someone and they didn't respond to your message?

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By *W Cunning-linguistMan
over a year ago

Gloucester ish

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Unfortunately for the genuine single male swinger there is a large group of single males who dont 'get' what swinging is about.

On my profile, I do ask for a simple no thanks but I do understand if folk are swamped then it's difficult - particularly if they then get abuse back. My personal gripe is deleted messages when the recipient hasn't looked at my profile, particularly as I take quite a bit of time over my messages and try and read profiles fully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Unfortunately for the genuine single male swinger there is a large group of single males who dont 'get' what swinging is about.

How do you know they haven't looked at your profile?

Many women and couples look in stealth mode.

You have no idea if the looked or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I hope for a reply. But if I don't get one that's life. I messaged the OP and she did not reply. That's her saying she's not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" On my profile, I do ask for a simple no thanks but I do understand if folk are swamped then it's difficult - particularly if they then get abuse back. My personal gripe is deleted messages when the recipient hasn't looked at my profile, particularly as I take quite a bit of time over my messages and try and read profiles fully.

You have been on fab for 8 years and not found stealth mode?

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences."

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

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By *rittaMan
over a year ago

Watford

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I don't and would guess lots of others don't expect one back.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

"
well when I have turned men down saying not for me etc I've only ever received polite replies saying thanks for the reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say this thread has been more interesting than the post initially suggested it may be!

Happy Friday Fabbers

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

If their not interested, just reply No thanks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to most but sometimes dont get chance and if we dont answer straight away we can get abusive messages..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s no need for a reply. That is a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is something wrong with you if you think deleting a message is polite

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By *W Cunning-linguistMan
over a year ago

Gloucester ish

You have been on fab for 8 years and not found stealth mode?"

Stealth mode ???? Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Site rules. Take no replay as a no thanks. I’m not typing out ‘thanks but no thanks’. 60 times a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Site rules. Take no replay as a no thanks. I’m not typing out ‘thanks but no thanks’. 60 times a day. "

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I am involved in organising a social and another event at a club, so I have opened up the filters. I get huge numbers of messages and could not possibly answer everyone.

However when I put filters in place and only accept pics from a certain age, with photos etc, then the numbers are manageable and I do my best to reply to everyone.

Sadly it is true that those rejected can be really abusive.

Anyone that has read my profile and writes a personal message that relates to me , then I do reply.

I think it needs the ladies to use filters so that they don't get such huge numbers, and the gents to read the profiles, check they are what the lady is looking for, and to write personalized messages.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"There is something wrong with you if you think deleting a message is polite"

Its not polite, but it is necessary at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

Unfortunately for the genuine single male swinger there is a large group of single males who dont 'get' what swinging is about.

How do you know they haven't looked at your profile?

Many women and couples look in stealth mode.

You have no idea if the looked or not"

I guess that's down to the profile, ours there are a few key points and it will become clear very quickly if the profile has been read or not. Rule of thumb profiles rarely get read, guys will go straight to the pictures and don’t really and care about the profile. So unless they can relate their message to specific parts of the profile, if they are a match , assume they haven’t read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

Er, what are you on about? They are definitely there: veris required, no cheating, no bareback, etc. I get dozens of messages from people who haven't read/ignore that just like you, and those are the ones who get ignored.

I don't want to block single men because I do want to meet them, so that's a useless suggestion.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

One of the lifes mystery?

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I have a lot of sympathy for the single guys on here, sending out message after message and not getting a reply it must be hard. Especially on your ego, but would it improve things if you got a message back turning you down ?

Obviously some would be much nicer than others. A Thanks but no thanks great

but you also may get a message back that would severely knock your confidence. Maybe commenting on what they find unattractive about you or insulting the wording of your profile and any spelling mistakes etc..

I would've thought it would be better, just not to get any reply, rather than a negative one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am someone who tries to answer all messages. As I have been here a while, I don't get that many any more. But a few recent conversations have made me rethink my approach. Without going into too much details (it's against forum rules to quote messages):

1) to my polite reply that I was not looking for single men and that it was clear on my profile, and a friendly advice to read profile next time, I was told that I was hard work and blocked

2) another guy, when I reminded him I was not looking for single guys, he was trying to buy me, offered to spoil me with gifts- no, thank you

3) one that shook me the most- again, to my reply that I wasn't looking for single guys I got a reply saying he was going to kill himself then as nobody would meet him on here. This one got reported to admin. Neither myself nor anyone else on this site deserves the stress and worry it takes when dealing with people who can't take 'no' for an answer.

So no,thank you, OP. I probably won't be responding to messages from people I'm not interested in, as it's easier that way.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

I'm only looking for single men so why would I block them? I shouldn't have to block all men to stop some of them giving me abuse, they should start acting like people instead of rabid cavemen.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Isn't it a similar situation ignoring a polite message or even blocking immediately similar to giving them the finger?

Each to their own, certainly some people would ignore a hello on the street, some would respond with a finger or a "Fuck you!"

To be honest I'm not interested in meeting people like that, so it doesn't bother me anyway."

It's completely different, if a random stranger walked up to me in real life and invited me for a coffee, I'd most likely say no thanks, do I then deserve abuse and to be called a fat slag, frigid bitch etc? That's more like what happens here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Agreed it is completely different in the real world you are not going to get hundreds of males approaching you in the street who are just looking for a place to park their cock for free. Few guys saying hello, hi or simply mention about the weather are likely to get a response as they may here. I'm sure if they came up to you in the street and said "Do you want to fuck" get the same response as here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

It apart of the game....

but seriously for guys its a numbers game, read the profile send a message and then repeat one in every 100 sent may get a reply and that generally is aboutb1/2 a sentence...and thats reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Not sure that analogy holds much water.

For one thing this is a site set up specifically for people wanting to share sexual experiences. Hence it is right and proper that expectations on both sides are comepletely different than those IRL when bumping into a stranger.

There also sometimes seems to be a "have your cake and eat it" attitude here.

I've seen ladies complain on forum that some men just come straight out and are too direct in proposing sex, when they have public photos that virtually show their cervix. How are such images supposed to be taken?

There are plenty of websites out there for folk wanting to strike up deep and meaningful relationships. There sometimes seems to be a tendency to deny the underlying reason for a person's presence on fab.

That said, obviously people can approach the site and use their membership any way they please within site rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Not sure that analogy holds much water.

There also sometimes seems to be a "have your cake and eat it" attitude here.

That said, obviously people can approach the site and use their membership any way they please within site rules.

So to sum up

Women are asking for it,but at the same time,can choose whom they do or don't have sex with?

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Isn't it a similar situation ignoring a polite message or even blocking immediately similar to giving them the finger?

Each to their own, certainly some people would ignore a hello on the street, some would respond with a finger or a "Fuck you!"

To be honest I'm not interested in meeting people like that, so it doesn't bother me anyway.

It’s the dangerous mix of a keyboard, an audience and most importantly- anonymity! A cowards paradise.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Perhaps I’m a traditionalist but I often consider it common courtesy, a simple thanks but no thanks.

I always take the time to read a profile fully, likes and dislikes, write a long considered reply, attach a face picture and personally find “deleted” somewhat rude. Manners cost nothing.

After all we are all here for the same thing and should treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves.

It would be a full time job. I've logged on to over 300 messages before. I don't want to put up filters so I just delete the ones I'm not interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

If someone said hello on the street would you ignore the? Would you make a hand gesture (a wave or a finger?)

Not sure that analogy holds much water.

There also sometimes seems to be a "have your cake and eat it" attitude here.

That said, obviously people can approach the site and use their membership any way they please within site rules.

So to sum up

Women are asking for it,but at the same time,can choose whom they do or don't have sex with?"

Not "asking for it" in the sense you imply. But presumably have to be on this site *wanting it*. And of course they get to choose partners, and reject partners, for whatever reason they see fit. In all senses that matter, the solo female members have the power, it seems to me at least (speaking simply as a normally endowed and otherwise ordinary man).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I’m a traditionalist but I often consider it common courtesy, a simple thanks but no thanks.

I always take the time to read a profile fully, likes and dislikes, write a long considered reply, attach a face picture and personally find “deleted” somewhat rude. Manners cost nothing.

After all we are all here for the same thing and should treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves.

It would be a full time job. I've logged on to over 300 messages before. I don't want to put up filters so I just delete the ones I'm not interested in."

Wow, logging on to 3 it’s a good day for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a couple who’s profile clearly says we don’t want to meet men. So far nearly a hundred guys today have sent messages with either something so mundane or something overly sexual that you wouldn’t ever say to a stranger in real life. If they can’t respect what we are looking for, why should be bother replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a couple who’s profile clearly says we don’t want to meet men. So far nearly a hundred guys today have sent messages with either something so mundane or something overly sexual that you wouldn’t ever say to a stranger in real life. If they can’t respect what we are looking for, why should be bother replying. "

And that’s the problem....men not respecting what’s on a profile! That’s even if they read the bio!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Why don't you use filters and block them from messaging then? Simple fix.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Why don't you use filters and block them from messaging then? Simple fix.

That is a good point, if you're not seeking men, block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not reading a profile and wasting everyone's time with pointless messages is just plain stupid. Agreed.

But now you might be able to help me out - I'm not altogether grasping the offence caused by "overly sexual" messages though. This is a site for swinging, and organising sexual liaisons. There's no point in comparing things said here with anything you might expect a stranger on the street to say surely? Anyone messaging you here (as long as it's not a single male;) ) knows that, broadly, you're all looking for the same broad kind of experience.

Any old perv in the street has know such foreknowledge of your intentions.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it's largely ignorance of the situation here - probably expecting that you have as few messages as they do, or they've not noticed or wanted to notice and accept fabs rules of no reply =no interest.

Fab is different to typical social convention, where we'll usually respond to others, even if just an acknowledgement. It's a revolution for people to accept and adjust to. They expect a reply, on some instances, just to push you harder to accept their generous penis offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete (without reading) any messages from a silhouette profile pic, any obvious cut and paste messages, messages from profiles with no public pictures (which means they have made a private photo visible for a few minutes to get around my filters)

, any from guys who obviously haven't read the profile. Apart from that, I respond.

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By *enfold75Man
over a year ago

hemel hempstead

Agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not reading a profile and wasting everyone's time with pointless messages is just plain stupid. Agreed.

Any old perv in the street has know such foreknowledge of your intentions."

Because we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable position. It’s nice to know the person isn’t a complete psychopath before playing with them. Even though it is swinging, we like to get a feel of the person first. There’s more to swinging than just sex. We think it takes a while for guys to realise that. Once they do they are more successful here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete (without reading) any messages from a silhouette profile pic, any obvious cut and paste messages, messages from profiles with no public pictures (which means they have made a private photo visible for a few minutes to get around my filters)

, any from guys who obviously haven't read the profile. Apart from that, I respond. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's largely ignorance of the situation here - probably expecting that you have as few messages as they do, or they've not noticed or wanted to notice and accept fabs rules of no reply =no interest.

You're probably right about that.

With the face of an angel and a cock that's doubtless a work of art, I was expecting women to be queuing up to hurl their pussies at me. Imagine my disappointment...

I remain to be convinced, though, that because "no reply=no interest" is the established m.o. here, that this is the way it should be.

That's the kind of thinking that kept women and coloured folk out of various clubs and institutions for so long.

I prefer a polite "piss off" to silence. But that's just me - and I don't have any problem dealing with rejection. Even just deleting is helpful.

Others don't take it so well, I gather.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Hun I think you have summarised the whole spirit of the thread in that one paragraph. You think because of the pictures ladies put on their profile they are gagging for it. As in the real world a lady wearing sexy clothing is gagging for it. QED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/19 15:30:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Not what I was saying at all - frankly that's a silly thing to say. It's pointless using over the top phrases like gagging for it and asking for it.

Are we or are we not all here pricipally seeking sexual experiences?

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By *leasure82Man
over a year ago

portsmouth

"It does appear to me that there are a group of ignorant single males that are perhaps spoiling it for all?

We think it helps the decent ones stand out.

Yep this is exactly what happens you get one or two males message a person a woman couple who ever just because they can’t get their own way they become abusive and send nasty messages this then makes the next person Job of introducing themselves 10 times harder so I agree in two ways yes with 300 messages is very hard to reply to every single message now if I was getting 300 messages a day I put on my profile if you’re not for me I will delete your message as a courtesy or if you think there is a chance and you would like to get to know the person more send a message.

It’s just the minority of people on here Who are ignorant miles but don’t know manners if it slapped in the face

Politeness and courteousness two couples and single females she go hand-in-hand we are all hear from you nice time.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Not what I was saying at all - frankly that's a silly thing to say. It's pointless using over the top phrases like gagging for it and asking for it.

Are we or are we not all here pricipally seeking sexual experiences?

I thought this was a fan club for playground equipment. Damn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to every message albeit I don't get 300 per day like some women claim but I was brought up with manners so I reply to all messages without having to resort to sheer rudeness about other people's appearance ! You never know they might be the best livers you've ever missed out on .People especially some women on here are so judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reply to every message albeit I don't get 300 per day like some women claim but I was brought up with manners so I reply to all messages without having to resort to sheer rudeness about other people's appearance ! You never know they might be the best livers you've ever missed out on .People especially some women on here are so judgemental "

Why judgemental?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not reading a profile and wasting everyone's time with pointless messages is just plain stupid. Agreed.

Any old perv in the street has know such foreknowledge of your intentions.

Of course you need to understand the nature of a person before meeting, or deciding if you do or don't want to. I'm not suggesting for a moment that you should welcome the first nurk that says "fuck me" into your bed.

Just that it can't be too much of a surprise that sex is what is on your messagers' minds surely? OK, how and how quickly they bring it up will play it's part in deciding how stupid they are, and how hard and how quickly you reject them, but the simple fact of the mention of sex surely shouldn't actually offend here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why judgemental? "

This.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

" You never know they might be the best livers you've ever missed out on

Steady on Hannibal

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

We don't get it personally but

JUST BLOODY BLOCK THEM ALL & start looking & messaging yourselves ffs!!

It's not rocket science, or is it that the

"Just take a deleted message as a polite no thanks" Doesn't quite have the same ring to it if the boot is on the other foot & you sent twenty messages & they all got deleted after the guy looked at your profile?

(Unlikely tbh).

But what reasons do you have for NOT doing this??

An enquiring mind would like to know the psychology of it all.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"We don't get it personally but

JUST BLOODY BLOCK THEM ALL & start looking & messaging yourselves ffs!!

It's not rocket science, or is it that the

(Unlikely tbh).

But what reasons do you have for NOT doing this??

An enquiring mind would like to know the psychology of it all.

Because i want men contacting me, just ones that can control their behaviour. I'm not responsible for their bad attitude and I refuse to take responsibility for it.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"We don't get it personally but

JUST BLOODY BLOCK THEM ALL & start looking & messaging yourselves ffs!!

It's not rocket science, or is it that the

(Unlikely tbh).

But what reasons do you have for NOT doing this??

An enquiring mind would like to know the psychology of it all.

I've been turned down. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.

I like to allow single men to message me because when I search myself I get to page 10 and I'm still on people who have been online in the past few hours. Sometimes I've had some great messages from crap profiles and sometimes people with great profiles can't hold a conversation so I don't like to limit myself to just people who's profiles make me want to message them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One very easy way to reduce the number of messages is put the filters high.. simple !!

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Well you both have more patience than us, we deleted guys very early on & agree some nice chats came about on occasion but even then half the time it turned into "So do you want to meet/play?"..

Hence we blocked them all. Only ones we talk to are those we've met at socials/clubs previously. then you know for sure they are on the same page & know it's just social chat.

We just couldn't be arsed with all the yellow in the inbox & crap message after crap message.

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan
over a year ago

oulton broad

A reply is always an added bonus and never expected ...just send and delete.then you don’t keep checking that yellow box to see if it’s been read ..I don’t think some single chaps get there head round the amount of messages some get and a polite reply even if it’s a no thank you manages to cause offence to some ...best to only reply to the ones who appeal just my opinion x

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

I don't want to block single men because I do want to meet them, so that's a useless suggestion.

Sorry so No bareback and cheating? Veris?

Wowwwww really descriptive....You do realise im still right?

Most people who say preferences mean what the person looks like/ certain features/ certain acts they want.

Using No cheaters and barebackers excludes like what? 2% of overall fab single males?

So please explain how what your wanting and why others are at fault for messaging....

Because if im a single guy who doesnt bareback...isnt married and has a veri...then i feel withing my right to message.

If you stated :

Chunky guys, skinny guys, muscley guys, bearded or bald guys, black guys or white guys, Big or small....people would have an inkling.

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I don’t expect anything . So that blows that sweeping statement / question out the water .

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down."

How dare you send out mixed messages - you harlot!

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down."

Wheres your profile?

swingers website?

what is swinging for primarily?

Swapping partners & new sexual relations?

Seems A Hugeeeee sexual undertone somewhere there...I can't place it.

finr you don't want sex but your still advertising yourself in a sexual way.

And you wonder why guys think you all want sex?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

How dare you send out mixed messages - you harlot!"

I know right, I'm such a prick tease. How dare I choose what pics to show, how to run my profile and choose who I want to have sex with. I need to get back to my place at the kitchen sink!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

Wheres your profile?

swingers website?

what is swinging for primarily?

Swapping partners & new sexual relations?

Seems A Hugeeeee sexual undertone somewhere there...I can't place it.

finr you don't want sex but your still advertising yourself in a sexual way.

And you wonder why guys think you all want sex?

This is the problem with SOME men, you think with your dicks and not with your brain. If I want to be naked I'll be naked, that doesn't mean I deserve to be abused and it also doesn't mean it's open season in my vagina. It means I'm liberated and happy with who I am.

The men that get abusive and pushy are in the wrong and I refuse to be blamed for their behaviour.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

Wheres your profile?

swingers website?

what is swinging for primarily?

Swapping partners & new sexual relations?

Seems A Hugeeeee sexual undertone somewhere there...I can't place it.

finr you don't want sex but your still advertising yourself in a sexual way.

And you wonder why guys think you all want sex?

The men that get abusive and pushy are in the wrong and I refuse to be blamed for their behaviour."

Omg....

Your on a swingers website jesus use your brain....

Complaining about male attention on a sex site, complaining that males are sexcrazed fiends because they see your nude photos ON A SEX SITE and they're going to go "Wow shes such a freeand open person, she doesnt want sex, she wants stimulating conversation".....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

Wheres your profile?

swingers website?

what is swinging for primarily?

Swapping partners & new sexual relations?

Seems A Hugeeeee sexual undertone somewhere there...I can't place it.

finr you don't want sex but your still advertising yourself in a sexual way.

And you wonder why guys think you all want sex?

The men that get abusive and pushy are in the wrong and I refuse to be blamed for their behaviour.

Omg....

Your on a swingers website jesus use your brain....

You have totally missed the point of the entire thread, we are discussing abusive men, men who refuse to accept no for an answer and those men that harass women.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Think the analagy holds up perfectly

Think the analogy holds up perfectly

Depends if the lady wears sexy clothing is part of a swinging website, She pretty much wants sex.

If the lady wears clothes as a profession, model etc, probably not.

If the lady is an ordinary housewife wearing sexy clothes, she could want sex or could want to feel sexy.

either way theres sexual undertones and connotations.

I've got nudes on my profile, doesn't mean I always want sex. For over a year I didn't have sex with anyone but I didn't take my pics down.

Wheres your profile?

swingers website?

what is swinging for primarily?

Swapping partners & new sexual relations?

Seems A Hugeeeee sexual undertone somewhere there...I can't place it.

finr you don't want sex but your still advertising yourself in a sexual way.

And you wonder why guys think you all want sex?

The men that get abusive and pushy are in the wrong and I refuse to be blamed for their behaviour.

Omg....

Your on a swingers website jesus use your brain....

And I stated several times its the abusive men I have a problem with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're all here for the same thing?

No, we're not.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

I think this has been covered ..there'll be countless threads in the archives op. responses will be

From guys .

Its polite to do so, or I'm not bothered

From couples and ladies

Its in the faq no response is no thanks.

My suggestion, if its causing you grief op..be proactive send messages to those that interest you rather than reactive (i did a thread called junk mail a while ago suggesting folk can stop thr majority of mail theu'd prefer not to receive or they have to accept some junk mail.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"We're all here for the same thing?

No, we're not."

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By *ames HardwickMan
over a year ago

Courtown, Gorey

I have to agree with you 100% here, the majority of couples and singles ladies on this site are out right rude. As you say common courtesy costs nothing, after all this is a swinging site and we all looking for the same thing. Most people need to check themselves I'd say...

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I have to agree with you 100% here, the majority of couples and singles ladies on this site are out right rude. As you say common courtesy costs nothing, after all this is a swinging site and we all looking for the same thing. Most people need to check themselves I'd say..."

Yep, I agree, alot of men need to check themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree. And I'm not rude. Delete means no interest. Some men get it.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Wrong, so wrong. You are using real life courtesies , manners and expectations. Understandable I guess as in most cases this is what we’ve grown up with. Online is different. You can argue that it shouldn’t be but it’s much easier if you accept this as reality - online reality. It’s the same in the online dating world. Why worry if someone you’ve never met ignores you or just disappears when you thought you were getting on well.

I was told by ‘a friend’ don’t worry about rejection, develop a thick skin fast, don’t be rude or crude. Never offend. Only believe a fraction of what you see or read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% a polite message deserves a polite reply . Not replying is just ignorant and arrogant I'd have to say especially if couples have on their profile that their looking for single guys . If someone said good morning to you in the street would you just turn your nose up and ignore them ? If so I think the single guys mailing have had a narrow escape

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

This isn't in the street, it's online and most people don't just say hello.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I never expect a reply but it's always welcome because it represents "civility".

If my message is read and deleted, I'm OK with that. Move on.

If my message is read and I receive a "no thanks" or similar, I'm OK with that. Move on.

If you delete my unread message I will assume and interpret this was part of a "mass delete" of 300 other unread messages. Eventually, after a few weeks or months I will send another hand-crafted and polite message.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?"

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked for a lady in the adult industry and she received 500-1000 Messages per day so it's impossible to reply to every single one. I never expect a no thanks but I only message a small amount of people as I read the profiles and only choose a select few that are similar to mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?"

Now your being ridiculous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?"

exactly.. and asking you to fuck them now... Would you?

No, thanks.

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By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

Our profile clearly asks single men to make clear in their first message whether they're bi and what sort of kinks they're into. Messages which give that information get a nice reply, even if it's "no thanks". Messages which don't - ie single men who haven't read the profile or have ignored it - get blocked and deleted. They may also get a message telling them to read profiles in future. If there's rudeness in there, they started it by not reading!

Rant over. Deep breath. Relax.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

I have.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?

Now your being ridiculous "

It was your analogy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?

Now your being ridiculous

It was your analogy."

I said POLITE messages deserve polite replys

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If 300 people surrounded you in the street, most waving their dicks at you, would you go round individually saying hi back to everyone who said it?

Now your being ridiculous

It was your analogy.

I said POLITE messages deserve polite replys"

I'm sorry but no. I'm not replying to hundreds of "hi"s a day just because they're polite.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Stevenage

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

So did you come to ask a genuine question or just to start a thread to bitch about something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

Yes, I do when a profile catches my eye. And, yes I think for some men it's a numbers game and unfortunately decent messages can get lost in amongst the dross especially early on.

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By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley

I never expect a reply back, and am always delighted by a “no thanks you aren’t my/ our type’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told by ‘a friend’ don’t worry about rejection, develop a thick sk in fast, don’t be rude or crude. Never offend. Only believe a fraction of what you see or read.

And herein lies the reason people are rude online, because it's ok!!! Wtf I'm politer online than I am in reality tbh and as I said above I actually do reply to virtually all my messages, though truly ignorant ones don't get a reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

I have. "

If you pm'd me I'd be in dublin airport quicker than Mo Salah on the wing

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

I do!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?

Do women ever message first?

I guess for many men it's a numbers game

I have.

If you pm'd me I'd be in dublin airport quicker than Mo Salah on the wing"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of blokes do expect replies but some of us are far more realistic!

A well thought out relevant message to a profile that is looking for the same thing means the chances of you getting a replied are more likely, but still not guaranteed and you should look as yourself as lucky to get any reply rather than spit your dummy out because you haven't got one!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I think a lot of blokes do expect replies but some of us are far more realistic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

You also have to remember...

...there are a lot of stupid people on the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely hate being accused of being rude. I get a 70 or so messages a day, a reply has sometimes been seen as encouragement. Those that say Hi/ Hey/ How are you..will be deleted.

On my profile I respectfully request that guys with no profile pic/ or with cock profile or no face pics or who smoke don't message me...I'm sorry but to me a deletion is an answer in this case. I'm not interested...

I'm not gonna massage your ego if you can't be arsed to read my profile...

I respond to funny, well thought out messages and yes of course I've sent messages out...and have been ignored.

I don't wanna see your flaccid cock for the love of all that's holy!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Received a message earlier saying. ‘Nice basque’.

What the hell are we meant to do with that. Delete.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Received a message earlier saying. ‘Nice basque’.

What the hell are we meant to do with that. Delete. "

Errrr buy another if it’s soooo nice !!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Message with few words, but a dick pic and expect a response. I'm afraid I just rip their heads off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

I don't want to block single men because I do want to meet them, so that's a useless suggestion.

Sorry so No bareback and cheating? Veris?

Wowwwww really descriptive....You do realise im still right?

Most people who say preferences mean what the person looks like/ certain features/ certain acts they want.

Using No cheaters and barebackers excludes like what? 2% of overall fab single males?

So please explain how what your wanting and why others are at fault for messaging....

Because if im a single guy who doesnt bareback...isnt married and has a veri...then i feel withing my right to message.

If you stated :

Chunky guys, skinny guys, muscley guys, bearded or bald guys, black guys or white guys, Big or small....people would have an inkling.

The people I was talking about who don't respect my preferences were those who went against those few stipulations. So no, sorry, you're not right. You're missing the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly reply except the fancy a shag messages yes even a quick no thanks message does make the difference.

But... think a no reply should be taken as a not interested also.

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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago

leighton buzzard

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

Another thread with a sweeping generalisation of men

Can understand how frustrating it is when some guys on here can be dickheads; but equally frustrating how we all somehow get held accountable for the actions of those dickheads

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

dont expect a reply back either way be nice yes or no thx

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By *elsboy76Man
over a year ago

warrington

I never expect a reply back as I fully understand women and couples can get dozens of mails and it’s not really practical to reply to them all, I get that and just suck it up. I can send 20 messages and get 1 reply saying ‘not our type’ and again I think we just have to move on and I normally just say thanks for your time. I really can’t understand why men would feel the need to abuse people, if they do it on here what would they be like if you did meet them so they don’t do themselves any favours at all.... keep the faith, we’re not all arseholes

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"

Some women and some couples do this too.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I just received a message basically saying, 'I'm surprised anyone messages you'

Oh the irony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just received a message basically saying, 'I'm surprised anyone messages you'

Oh the irony

"
take no notice sad people n here sometimes

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By *hongguyMan
over a year ago

heckmondwike

because if single men didn't messasage you yoid have an empty msg box just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do single men on here message and always expect a reply back?"
because we fancy you maybe

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By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley

"I never expect a reply back as I fully understand women and couples can get dozens of mails and it’s not really practical to reply to them all, I get that and just suck it up. I can send 20 messages and get 1 reply saying ‘not our type’ and again I think we just have to move on and I normally just say thanks for your time. I really can’t understand why men would feel the need to abuse people, if they do it on here what would they be like if you did meet them so they don’t do themselves any favours at all.... keep the faith, we’re not all arseholes"

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Received a message earlier saying. ‘Nice basque’.

What the hell are we meant to do with that. Delete. "

H is guilty of simple statement messages that give no "In" to the receiver. I'm just

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I just received a message basically saying, 'I'm surprised anyone messages you'

Oh the irony

take no notice sad people n here sometimes"

I was wondering if he realised his error once he hit the send button

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Like me being blocked for saying i bumped into you at a party

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

This!!!

The messages I ignore are usually from guys who clearly think they are so entitled to my time that their dicks overrule my preferences.

But you have no decription of preferences on your profile.

Your whole bio describes you & Not the person your looking for.... How can you blame a guy for messaging?

Is he supposed to be a mindreader and know he's for you?

Its quite funny that people are complaining about this when they can just turn on message filters and block males

I don't want to block single men because I do want to meet them, so that's a useless suggestion.

Sorry so No bareback and cheating? Veris?

Wowwwww really descriptive....You do realise im still right?

Most people who say preferences mean what the person looks like/ certain features/ certain acts they want.

Using No cheaters and barebackers excludes like what? 2% of overall fab single males?

So please explain how what your wanting and why others are at fault for messaging....

Because if im a single guy who doesnt bareback...isnt married and has a veri...then i feel withing my right to message.

If you stated :

Chunky guys, skinny guys, muscley guys, bearded or bald guys, black guys or white guys, Big or small....people would have an inkling.

The people I was talking about who don't respect my preferences were those who went against those few stipulations. So no, sorry, you're not right. You're missing the point."

So Evvvvvvery single person you havent replied to has been one of those 3 things?

So yet again, AFTER BB,MARRIED, CD....What are your preferences? Anything?

Im literally talking to a brick wall here

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire

It's hard for women reply to all when they get 300 messages and more than half are the same bloke with message after message after message after message in the space of 20 mins,. Pushes people like mines 1 message to the bottom of there list never to be read......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read others mention abuse messages because of a no.... this never ceases to amaze me! Does it really happen? Are people that stupid and discourteous.

I’ve never abused anyone for turning me down. I can’t see how that would do me any good? I send a message if I get a reply or don’t life still goes on. Unfortunately a lot of single guys get tarred with the same brush because of all the idiots on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This seriously guys think about it.

As a couple we have had 85 messages today so far and 9 of them were well written / had some effort put in so we have replied to all 9 of them 5 of which were not for us but we thanked them for the message said no thanks and wished them luck. Those 5 were all gracious in response.

In the past when we have said no thanks to all the hi, hey, yo 1 word messages through to the crude ones like I'll bang your wife and you can watch. A, it took up way to much of limited free time and B they tended to be the ones who hurled abuse back or challenged why not etc.

We are a couple some single women have it way worse serious think guys would you spend your free time sending 300+ individual no thank you messages every single day over and over??

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