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Is giving profile advice to some single guys a disservice to the genuine single guys who do get it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol

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By *avid566Man
over a year ago

tidworth

I have just read this after asking for advice haha. Having said that I never looked at it that way before and your right it might be unfair.

I have asked for help as i know i am a polite nice guy just like my mother raised me to be however for some reason i was getting no interest.

The comments made about my profile I have taken on board and changed but I wouldn't change everything as that's not a true representation of who I am.

I am aware i am not to everyones taste and i completely understand that but to have nothing in reply did get me thinking.

However i am glad you wrote this as it's made me look at it in a different way and i will try harder to make the necessary changes myself.

P.s this isn't a dig at you i genuinely like this post and thank you for it. It was an eye opener

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no one wants to meet guys who are not being true to themselves by becoming fab robots ie all having the same type of profile write ups i want to see the real guys so i xan make a real informed choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have just read this after asking for advice haha. Having said that I never looked at it that way before and your right it might be unfair.

I have asked for help as i know i am a polite nice guy just like my mother raised me to be however for some reason i was getting no interest.

The comments made about my profile I have taken on board and changed but I wouldn't change everything as that's not a true representation of who I am.

I am aware i am not to everyones taste and i completely understand that but to have nothing in reply did get me thinking.

However i am glad you wrote this as it's made me look at it in a different way and i will try harder to make the necessary changes myself.

P.s this isn't a dig at you i genuinely like this post and thank you for it. It was an eye opener "

Thank you I read your profile and whilst there ways it can be improved and you were given some good advice in your thread there was nothing in it that would be a major cause for concern e.g drug references, negative attitudes, entitlement, aggression etc. Based on that I'd see it more in the grey area I mentioned where a few pointers to help out wouldn't be a big issue. It's also good that you'll take advice on board but still want it to be a reflection of you.

Good luck

KJ x

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.


"Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

I totally agree, they should learn how to represent themselves properly and accurately in their profile themself.

If they need to make changes they should learn how to do that then self and individually as advising them how to do it I don't feel is a representation of their personality.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol"

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

My advice is read the advice.

Sure there's the same advice that gets mentioned over and over, don't send cock pics, cock pics to private, read profiles etc.

But look at the rest and everyone's recommending things that "they" look for, and they're all different things.

Take it all and the profiles not your own, it's an effort to be all things to all people and it won't represent the profile holder in the slightest.

2 pence spent.....

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

I give out a fair amount of generic and specific advice in these threads and weeks later the majority of OPs have changed 3 worlds and lost their least flattering cock shot. I also tell them not to bother changing a thing, because it truly reflects their personality, and will allow the women they message to make an informed decision, and they don’t get the irony. When it comes down to it, those who are willing to up their game, even if they started with rubbish will at least give themselves the best chance that they can. It still may not be enough, but at least they’ve given it their best shot.

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway


"Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol"

I don't think that the provision of advice to certain people who might use it to 'mask' who they are is doing disservice to other people....At least I have never felt like this before with regards to this site. If you read my profile, I state whatever I state with all the truth I have inside me. If that makes me not-the-cup-of-tea of quite a few people, it's unfortunate but, there's no point in pretending.

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

I'd never advise anybody to lie on their profile but I'm happy to highlight any glaring slip ups be it too long and rambling or daft spelling

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

I wanted to slightly clarify my post; you might provide advice to people with the best intentions and you still never know what their motives are for changing their profile, hence I don't think it does any disservice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all men should have their profile exactly how they want it, then we all know exactly what we are getting and if they are what/who we are looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think all men should have their profile exactly how they want it, then we all know exactly what we are getting and if they are what/who we are looking for "

Exactly

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wanted to slightly clarify my post; you might provide advice to people with the best intentions and you still never know what their motives are for changing their profile, hence I don't think it does any disservice. "

OK so a guy has the fact they are drug user on their profile and on an advice thread are told to remove it to get more meets and they do. A lady comes along who doesn't want anything to do with drug users and meets the guy as all references are now removed. In that case was the advice not a disservice to the lady who met him further down the line?

KJ

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think all men should have their profile exactly how they want it, then we all know exactly what we are getting and if they are what/who we are looking for

Exactly

P"

This exactly the view I've found myself arriving at.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Exactly the same but takeaway drug user and insert married

Or takeaway "can't accommodate", and find out after multiple messages or even meets that they've got someone at home so they can't accommodate but it says they can on their profile.

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

Only if she doesn't like drugs

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway


"I wanted to slightly clarify my post; you might provide advice to people with the best intentions and you still never know what their motives are for changing their profile, hence I don't think it does any disservice.

OK so a guy has the fact they are drug user on their profile and on an advice thread are told to remove it to get more meets and they do. A lady comes along who doesn't want anything to do with drug users and meets the guy as all references are now removed. In that case was the advice not a disservice to the lady who met him further down the line?

KJ "

Maybe yes, maybe no...I can make hypothetical scenarios for ever...if both parties discuss things in a civilised manner and agree on compromises before anything happens, i.e. no use of drugs in front of the person who doesn't like them, then it's ok. If the guy turns into an abusive bellend after being asked not to use them during sex, then it is a problem. I haven't thought about this issue extensively to be honest with you...but I think if somebody wants to reveal an ugly side to them that they hide on their profile, they will do it anyway....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you rewrite your profile to improve your chances with others, you end up becoming what you believe others want. This in turn leads to dissapointment when the truth reveals itself.

Some guys aren't good at articulating themselves. This may limit their chances. But writing about you, your circumstances and what you do/don't like will give people something to work on.

My profile is lengthy, but puts a lot off. I could rewrite it to sell myself better, but this profile is a good a representation of me as you are likely to get.

I don't discuss turn ons or anything sexual as I prefer to discover with a playmate. I'm not programmable and I'm no good at selecting from a menu.

In terms of advice, stick to a generic "tidy up the language, mane sure it is readable, and remember there is no magic formula"

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By *entleman JimmyMan
over a year ago

Hove

Well, all I can say is that no-one is beating a path to my door! But at least I am honest

oh and - of course

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 29/08/19 18:31:00]

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By *attoo.GentMan
over a year ago

Electric Avenue

Depends on the person i guess.

If the guy has only joined 10 mimutes ago then i would be suspicious.

But some of us (e.g me) probably actually need profile advice, and are genuinely nice people, looking to me other genuinely nice people.

Just with lack of experience it is difficult to know what to put in the bio!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol"
alls fair in love and war, most guys ask for advice receive the advice and do nothing with it, so our efforts were wasted, some take it on board but it's still a struggle here to get meets unless you're a single woman

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

No as we all need advice and pointers every now and then. Most will ignore any advice they are given anyway.

We can only give advice as to how we see it and what our preferences are, one thing I have learnt on here is that for every opinion there is somebody with the complete opposite.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sometimes everyone deserves a fair chance and I generally believe that this is the case with Fab. If someone is likely to be unattractive to most people because of their attitude, my gut feel is that this will still probably come across before someone meets them. To borrow a phrase, a pig with lipstick on is.still a pig.

The usual advice would help people avoid comment pitfalls but would also help the rest of us indirectly, by having fewer chase-up mails clogging inboxes for example.

Buyer beware is useful here and few expect everything told to us as the truth always. I'd prefer to see well written profiles, clear photos and peas who have read my profile and show respect as standard, for me to then communicate with, if it seems like a possible match exists. Most inappropriate behaviour will out before a meet and those just meeting verified people would probably miss the undesirables more than if we didn't

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London


"Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol"

Good luck with expending energy on upskilling guys

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

I'm probably wrong, but I can't help but think in many of the cases that it's an attention seeking excersise. After all there is a lot of advice on the subject out there already, all they have to do is search for it, yet they don't and many don't even take on board the advice given.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

There are two types of 'help me with my profile' posts.

One is genuine, trying to improve their chances of winning people over and possibly getting a meet.

The other is 'look at me', who takes any suggestions as an attack, despite asking for advice. Normally complaining about not getting meets but has verifications already (how genuine these are is a matter for another thread) name is often pretty direct, such as 'Big cock', 'womb raider 69' etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing."

I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing.

I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them. "

I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice.....

Weird eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words. "

Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Bearing in mind that only a fraction of Fabbers use the forums, I don’t think it leads to a whole load of ‘artificial’ profiles.

My advise is usually to search for the thousands of previous threads on the same topic & go from there ... then it’s down to the individual to research or not!

But telling people used to Tinder or brand new to online apps that 2 weeks isn’t long, put some better photos on & tell people about themselves isn’t going to alter what they put ... the content is still them!

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words.

Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview.

"

If you were at war would you think it was a good idea to give your adversary weapons training?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing.

I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them.

I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice.....

Weird eh?

"

I have. No men read my OP, they just said "corrrr nice tits luv!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/08/19 13:09:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All

I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums.

Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging?

Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members?

In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning.

Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others.

Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met.

I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person.

To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort.

Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them.

KJ x

If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol"

There will of course also be their female equivalent; women who don't like effort and can't really be bothered with hygiene, appearance etc, women who have little imagination and don't like to use their brains as it makes their head hurt, women who just want a quick Wham Bam without complications etc, etc.

Although that number of women will definitely be smaller surely in these cases these kind of guys are actually their perfect meet as they then don't feel they have to make an effort with all of the above and all parties will feel relaxed and comfortable around each other? They'd have a much better time meeting these guys than some chiselled imaginative Adonis who puts others' pleasure first surely?

If these guys all change their profile to an "Identikit Fab" one then surely they're also denying themselves and the ladies of their "type" the perfect meet as they'll then get overlooked?

B

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing.

I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them.

I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice.....

Weird eh?

I have. No men read my OP, they just said "corrrr nice tits luv!" "

Uh huh.

( . ) ( . )

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By *ikerdude2017Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I think the main issue there are too many guys on here and you have to be a god of words to get notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. I’m glad this was brought up, I worried a bit that the advice given merely hid the personality of the individual. Advising someone to edit their profile to make them seem more empathic and less self centred, when that is the case, could potentially cause more problems for everyone, including the profile writer, down the line.

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London


"This. I’m glad this was brought up, I worried a bit that the advice given merely hid the personality of the individual. Advising someone to edit their profile to make them seem more empathic and less self centred, when that is the case, could potentially cause more problems for everyone, including the profile writer, down the line. "

The standard crap profile writer just wont be able to deal with that level of sophistication. I’ve given out loads of advice on ‘rate my profile’ threads and more often than not they just don’t bother. Because they don’t get it. The genuine people will put a little work in, but if you haven’t the inclination in the first place, and just believe that you’re entitled to sex by just signing up, then that will always shine through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This. I’m glad this was brought up, I worried a bit that the advice given merely hid the personality of the individual. Advising someone to edit their profile to make them seem more empathic and less self centred, when that is the case, could potentially cause more problems for everyone, including the profile writer, down the line. "

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Remembered and just brought up this thread just a minute ago on another..

I totally agree. Profile is your shop window...and just from looking you can get idea if its lidl or more M&S lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn’t at all, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink etc.

People with no clue will always make the same silly mistakes no matter what help their given.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we stopped giving advice now anyway cause they tend not to take it, seems to ben more of a look at me thread anyway.

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By *ntraditionalwomanWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Waste of time i think. They are usually flaky drama queens wanting attention. Poor me i cant get a meet. Jog on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took the advice on board from some fellow fabbers. Basically my profile was a mess and even though it's still not perfect by any means I think it is a more accurate representation of the real me. Just needs a little tweaking here and there but I do try to take the advice on board.

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By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley


"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words.

Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview.

"

People ask for advice on how to write a decent CV. Nobody thinks that is awful, just good sense. Why not ask for views and tips on our profile. Mine could probably do with it!

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By *everFullyDressedCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Waste of time i think. They are usually flaky drama queens wanting attention. Poor me i cant get a meet. Jog on"

Couldn’t agree more....think the forums are getting tired of these attention seeking posts. Shows ignorance in looking up all the advice out there

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

If you were at war would you think it was a good idea to give your adversary weapons training?"

Your experience of either the job market or swinging clearly differs from mine!

I wasn't particularly advocating helping people to improve their profiles, more making the point that a "bad" person with a "good" profile would be quickly exposed as soon as any conversation began.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/09/19 22:47:28]

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By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley

Well I asked for some advice and got it. All constructive. Now need to find time to edit my essay! Thanks to those who contributed.

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