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"I have just read this after asking for advice haha. Having said that I never looked at it that way before and your right it might be unfair. I have asked for help as i know i am a polite nice guy just like my mother raised me to be however for some reason i was getting no interest. The comments made about my profile I have taken on board and changed but I wouldn't change everything as that's not a true representation of who I am. I am aware i am not to everyones taste and i completely understand that but to have nothing in reply did get me thinking. However i am glad you wrote this as it's made me look at it in a different way and i will try harder to make the necessary changes myself. P.s this isn't a dig at you i genuinely like this post and thank you for it. It was an eye opener " Thank you I read your profile and whilst there ways it can be improved and you were given some good advice in your thread there was nothing in it that would be a major cause for concern e.g drug references, negative attitudes, entitlement, aggression etc. Based on that I'd see it more in the grey area I mentioned where a few pointers to help out wouldn't be a big issue. It's also good that you'll take advice on board but still want it to be a reflection of you. Good luck KJ x | |||
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"Hi All I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums. I totally agree, they should learn how to represent themselves properly and accurately in their profile themself. If they need to make changes they should learn how to do that then self and individually as advising them how to do it I don't feel is a representation of their personality. Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging? Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members? In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning. Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others. Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met. I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person. To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort. Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them. KJ x If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol" | |||
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"Hi All I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums. Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging? Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members? In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning. Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others. Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met. I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person. To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort. Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them. KJ x If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol" I don't think that the provision of advice to certain people who might use it to 'mask' who they are is doing disservice to other people....At least I have never felt like this before with regards to this site. If you read my profile, I state whatever I state with all the truth I have inside me. If that makes me not-the-cup-of-tea of quite a few people, it's unfortunate but, there's no point in pretending. | |||
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"I think all men should have their profile exactly how they want it, then we all know exactly what we are getting and if they are what/who we are looking for " Exactly P | |||
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"I wanted to slightly clarify my post; you might provide advice to people with the best intentions and you still never know what their motives are for changing their profile, hence I don't think it does any disservice. " OK so a guy has the fact they are drug user on their profile and on an advice thread are told to remove it to get more meets and they do. A lady comes along who doesn't want anything to do with drug users and meets the guy as all references are now removed. In that case was the advice not a disservice to the lady who met him further down the line? KJ | |||
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"I think all men should have their profile exactly how they want it, then we all know exactly what we are getting and if they are what/who we are looking for Exactly P" This exactly the view I've found myself arriving at. | |||
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"I wanted to slightly clarify my post; you might provide advice to people with the best intentions and you still never know what their motives are for changing their profile, hence I don't think it does any disservice. OK so a guy has the fact they are drug user on their profile and on an advice thread are told to remove it to get more meets and they do. A lady comes along who doesn't want anything to do with drug users and meets the guy as all references are now removed. In that case was the advice not a disservice to the lady who met him further down the line? KJ " Maybe yes, maybe no...I can make hypothetical scenarios for ever...if both parties discuss things in a civilised manner and agree on compromises before anything happens, i.e. no use of drugs in front of the person who doesn't like them, then it's ok. If the guy turns into an abusive bellend after being asked not to use them during sex, then it is a problem. I haven't thought about this issue extensively to be honest with you...but I think if somebody wants to reveal an ugly side to them that they hide on their profile, they will do it anyway.... | |||
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"Hi All I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums. Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging? Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members? In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning. Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others. Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met. I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person. To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort. Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them. KJ x If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol" alls fair in love and war, most guys ask for advice receive the advice and do nothing with it, so our efforts were wasted, some take it on board but it's still a struggle here to get meets unless you're a single woman | |||
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"Hi All I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums. Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging? Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members? In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning. Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others. Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met. I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person. To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort. Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them. KJ x If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol" Good luck with expending energy on upskilling guys | |||
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"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing." I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them. | |||
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"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing. I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them. " I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice..... Weird eh? | |||
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"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words. " Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview. | |||
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"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words. Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview. " If you were at war would you think it was a good idea to give your adversary weapons training? | |||
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"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing. I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them. I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice..... Weird eh? " I have. No men read my OP, they just said "corrrr nice tits luv!" | |||
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"Hi All I've been thinking and I (Mr) have also been guilty of trying to provide constructive, genuine advice to the "help with my profile / why don't I get meets" threads that crop up everyday on the forums. Is this really fair to a, the single males with good profiles, respect and who just get it when it comes to all the aspects of swinging? Also is it fair to the potential females and couples who would have ran a mile at the original profile content before is was totally redone on the advice from forum members? In a recent thread the user blatently had 420 in his username and some peoples advice was to get rid of that but I'm sorry I'd want to know upfront if someone is a drug user and potentially someone who wants to mix drug use with swinging (only reason to advertise it imo) so I prefer it there as it acts as a warning. Some of that bad profiles I've read clearly show the attitude of the person e.g negativity, sense of entitlement and so on. Again I'd rather see as it is a true representation of that person as it came from them not put together on the advice and opinions of others. Surely a bad profile can be just as informative as a good profile? We want to know who to stay clear of as much as who we may want to met. I know it's not totally black and white / clear cut and there are clearly some potentially decent guys who may just need a few pointers I am more referring to the ones where after the profile transplant you'd think it was a totally different person. To add aswell from what I've seen maybe less than 20% actually take on board some of the excellent advise that fabber have taken time to write up for them. Maybe that's a good thing at the end of the day as it reflects the lack of effort. Disclaimer - This is not a bashing single males thread, we have met and have got to know some great single guys on fab and have the utmost respect for them. KJ x If I've made any grammar errors this was typed on my mobile and I've fat fingers lol" There will of course also be their female equivalent; women who don't like effort and can't really be bothered with hygiene, appearance etc, women who have little imagination and don't like to use their brains as it makes their head hurt, women who just want a quick Wham Bam without complications etc, etc. Although that number of women will definitely be smaller surely in these cases these kind of guys are actually their perfect meet as they then don't feel they have to make an effort with all of the above and all parties will feel relaxed and comfortable around each other? They'd have a much better time meeting these guys than some chiselled imaginative Adonis who puts others' pleasure first surely? If these guys all change their profile to an "Identikit Fab" one then surely they're also denying themselves and the ladies of their "type" the perfect meet as they'll then get overlooked? B | |||
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"I see those threads as a "How to fake a decent personality" type thing. I don't like the advice threads. If they are clueless about swinging I want to know before I waste time chatting to them. I don't think I've ever seen a single female ask for advice..... Weird eh? I have. No men read my OP, they just said "corrrr nice tits luv!" " Uh huh. ( . ) ( . ) | |||
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"This. I’m glad this was brought up, I worried a bit that the advice given merely hid the personality of the individual. Advising someone to edit their profile to make them seem more empathic and less self centred, when that is the case, could potentially cause more problems for everyone, including the profile writer, down the line. " The standard crap profile writer just wont be able to deal with that level of sophistication. I’ve given out loads of advice on ‘rate my profile’ threads and more often than not they just don’t bother. Because they don’t get it. The genuine people will put a little work in, but if you haven’t the inclination in the first place, and just believe that you’re entitled to sex by just signing up, then that will always shine through. | |||
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"This. I’m glad this was brought up, I worried a bit that the advice given merely hid the personality of the individual. Advising someone to edit their profile to make them seem more empathic and less self centred, when that is the case, could potentially cause more problems for everyone, including the profile writer, down the line. " | |||
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"I think that while the profile might end up a transplant the character will become abundantly clear once the owner begins messaging. You can't change the person, only words. Exactly. People make a real effort on their CV, but can't back it up in an interview. " People ask for advice on how to write a decent CV. Nobody thinks that is awful, just good sense. Why not ask for views and tips on our profile. Mine could probably do with it! | |||
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"Waste of time i think. They are usually flaky drama queens wanting attention. Poor me i cant get a meet. Jog on" Couldn’t agree more....think the forums are getting tired of these attention seeking posts. Shows ignorance in looking up all the advice out there | |||
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" If you were at war would you think it was a good idea to give your adversary weapons training?" Your experience of either the job market or swinging clearly differs from mine! I wasn't particularly advocating helping people to improve their profiles, more making the point that a "bad" person with a "good" profile would be quickly exposed as soon as any conversation began. | |||
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