FabSwingers.com forum: Moving relationship up to next levelx

By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

How can he be perfect if you have doubts ?

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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

We all having sometime? Xx

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By *exy Black JenWoman
over a year ago

London/Eastbourne weekends

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "

To be honest..l would follow your gut feeling. Look at his from his perspective. Hes on a sex site, hes managed to meet a gorgeous stunning lady to have meets with. Hes getting a lot of play...why would he change that??....but l could be wrong, and he is ready to "go steady". The real test l think is..is he happy to date you and leave the swinging behind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "

Is he someone you meet just for sex. Or do you go out at other times too?

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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

We made decisions of swinging together. So now will be occur asked him to step out and not do that? We love that lifestyle

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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

No, we are together. Going out ect not just sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a male perspective, sex is part of the package so yes he is with you in part due to it. Since you do other things then i guess he likes you. Perhaps slow down the swinging to see if you are enough for him on your own. If it works out then perhaps add in swinging again in future.

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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

So you saying that he will not want have swinger gf for future partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but you want to be sure he is with you for you not as an entry to swinging

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I think the only person who can give you an answer is him.

V x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

You need to ask him what he wants, and tell him what you want.

Communication is key.

Otherwise you'll drift along until one or the other of you has a rude awakening.

Good luck

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Just have a conversation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you can't discuss your relationship and how you both stand within it then you aren't ready to move it up a level.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you feel you can discuss it, sit down with him and ask him how he sees your relationship progressing and if he would like to move forward.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Next level? Bear in mind that for a guy there is nothing more scary than “the toothbrush talk”

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Lots of talking needed,to communicate what you both want from this.

Why not hide your profiles and concentrate on you for a while,i met Jack my partner here almost 4 years ago and we took time out ,got to know each other then came back to swing as a couple.

Good luck

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I would probably trust your instinct on this. Life doesn't always throw us an ideal situation. So I guess what you got to ask is do you settle for this as it's sounds like you enjoy many aspects of what you have, it'll just never fit your ideal? Or do look for a more ideal matching in every sense that gives you the true partnership and support you need?

If it helps I found my everything on FAB. So it is possible to find it.

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By *eedshandymanMan
over a year ago

leeds

Just communicate with him

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By *pa and dCouple
over a year ago

Barnet

"Next level? Bear in mind that for a guy there is nothing more scary than “the toothbrush talk”"

For some guys maybe. We're not all completely one dimensional.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Just communicate with him"

Nothing more to be said really

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Maybe you need to sit down and have a conversation with him to see what he wants to do too. Good luck. X

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

It sounds as though you are only swinging to please him. Is this the case?

If so I doubt he is “the perfect man” for you.

Basically though if you want something in life you have to ask. You might not get the answer you want, but at least you will be able to move on and eventually you will find what you are after

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

When we're progressing in getting to know someone, it's natural to be uncertain, as there are levels of trust and much that we don't know. Some things can be uncertain because one or both haven't taken decisions yet about what they want, are maybe willing to give up or invest in the other person. We'll all remember the times when we're not clear about something and the difference to when we've decided and committed - the floodgates are opened, there can be no stopping us.

It's right that we each move at a pace that we're comfortable with in a relationship. Too slow or fast can mean someone loses interest and detaches.

The big issue for all relationships can be silence. Silence, where things are not discussed, can lead to secrets, such as secret inner worlds of desires, plans or behaviour. We usually feel closer when we don't really hold important decisions around ourselves and the relationship from our partners.

Communication is the way to open up as well as discover. Just as anxiety or fear of events is usually worse than the real thing, so too can be our uncertainties over partners interests. Go at your own pace as well as what seems right for them. Discuss potential options and what you'd like. Your thoughts about his motivation may or may not be right but you both may now also like to adjust, so you're mutually gaining more of what's good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say you aren't sure about been on here anymore. You'd like some one on one time with him for a while.

You'll know by the way he responds.

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By *ifeTimeCouple
over a year ago

Grays

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "

Perhaps consider that he may well feel like all of his Christmas’s have come at once meeting you. You’re attractive and he also gets to play here & there. If I were single and met someone who was open to the idea of playing I know for a fact I’d be a right pain in the arse trying to do everything that appealed to me NOW! My wife & I are as solid as I suppose you can be but we have a young family & our playing times are few and far between. When we do get a free evening of course I want to play - occasionally she’ll say to me “have you ever considered that maybe just me & you could spend the night away?”. It’s just good communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "

What kind of stability do you want?

What makes you think he's using you for sex?

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By *issyEM OP Woman
over a year ago

Nearly

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions?

What kind of stability do you want?

What makes you think he's using you for sex?"

I am thinking of committed relationships. Just tired of being seeing each other like teenagers.

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By *ighorn2006Man
over a year ago

Ceredigion / N France

Really only you know and can read the situation, his feelings and about him but also look at it from his perspective too. He might be feeling the same ?

You don't say much about him, age, previous relationships, children, or how you met, etc.

Sex and intimacy is an important part of any relationship, you both seem to be having a great time and enjoying each other and others.

Talk about the future, be honest to each other.

If he doesn't want more and to progress (and many couples continue to swing it doesn't have to stop) then he's the wrong one and it's better to find out now rather than later.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

Speak to him, if he says he is enjoying it as it is and doesn’t want to change it might mean you will have to make a choice about this fwb setup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a man's perspective, I have been in a situation where I ended it with a friend with benefits, had fun and enjoyed the set up, but it started moving into the bf gf zone. I wasn't looking for a relationship, been burnt in past relationships and had a busy work and social life away from fab. The friend with benefits worked for me.

For a relationships there are other factors as well as good sex.

So you just need to ask him and be prepared for a no, or yes.

If it is is a no and a swinging relationship is what you want, there have been forums on here forpeople Looking g at proper relationships with swinging. You would find someone else easily. Wish you all of the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions?

What kind of stability do you want?

What makes you think he's using you for sex?

I am thinking of committed relationships. Just tired of being seeing each other like teenagers. "

You need to have a chat and tell him what you are looking for out of the relationship. If he is not looking for the same you have to think about whether it is time to move on.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

The weekly shop, cleaning windows, hoovering, washing up, family get-togethers, putting the bins out, etc etc etc may change him from your perfect man to lazy oaf!

So be careful what you wish for . . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been meeting my Perfect man whole year. We have been swinging 6 months but just got impression that he is more with me coz of sex fun

Would love have more stability and know where i stand for but is so difficult to ask him about it. Any suggestions? "

Tell him you are ready to move the relationship on to the next level of commitment and ask how does he feel about it. It is the only way to find out. Sounds like you have reached a point in your own mind where it is time to move the relationship on or move on to someone else.

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