FabSwingers.com forum: Question for couples and single ladies.

By * Little Taste of Crimson OP Couple
over a year ago

Here and there

Right so without giving you all too much of a wall of text to read. We have recently come back from an 18 month or so break from meeting and playing. Our dynamic as a couple has generally been MFM meets with the recent discovery of MMF fun.

That’s not to say that we haven’t played with couples it’s just that I (Husky) feel far more engaged in a large group scenario with plenty of soft swing fun taking place when it comes to couples play. Crimson adores fun of all kinds and we are highly compatible sexually.

Well we went out at the weekend and met an absolutely wonderful couple who were kind enough to let us join them in a private room. This was our first private 1-2-1 encounter with another couple outside of an packed couples room and I just couldn’t er...... well you know.

As soon as I went back to Crimson we were good to go, it was nothing to do with the lovely lady that I was with. She was beautiful. I think there is just a psychological block somewhere with me. The vast majority of our play has always been centred around Crimson’s pleasure and when it comes to me, unless my partner is involved with me I simply struggle.

Soft play is amazing and we love it with others, it’s just when the time comes for actual penetration I think I need my partner with me for the very first time.

Now we are well aware that one size does not fit all in this lifestyle, but Crimson is keen to see me with another lady, and I’m keen to do it. So we were having a long talk about how we could get over this particular hump and the idea of meeting an experienced and understanding single lady raised its head.

So I suppose the question I have is this - have any other couples found themselves in a similar situation where they prefer either meeting with single guys and or only soft swapping with other couples?

And to the single ladies, would you consider a meet with a couple to help us break through this psychological barrier? (This isn’t fishing for a meet just a genuine question).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is very very common and it should be discussed openly as there is far to much stigma about men performing usually by other men but also can knock the confidence of everyone involved for all sorts of reasons not just attraction. I (max) was exactly the same safe to say everyone has been at some point. I bit the bullet and surprised maggie one night when we had arranged a meet and got myself some viagra connect. And took it about 40 mins earlier. by the time play started I was rock hard and was for about 4 hours by the end of it they were both in a crumpled heap on the floor and I felt like a Greek god. Iv gone off topic a little but what I'm getting at is when the time is right it all comes together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a good, if wordy question. I,, MrJ, have an answer which comes from my own experience, but comes with no guarantees.

When couples meet other couples to play, in my experience it's the two men who take 'responsibility' for giving the ladies pleasure. Personally I feel I've done a poor job and let my partner down if she doesn't cum and have a damn good time. I'm not alone in this I'm sure. From this one can easily extrapolate to a position where it is possible to abdicate responsibility by becoming an onlooker as another man pleasures ones lady.

I see lots of men happy to introduce another man in to the relationship, just to ensure their lover is given exceptional enjoyment.

I hope I've correctly understood your question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi when we started Fab most of our meets were mmf hubby liked seeing me with other guys and watching,He then decided that it was his turn to have some fun and for us to meet females, I had a little green monster on my shoulder about this thinking that he would have more fun etc and was gonna run off with a another woman.

So we then had a long conversation about meeting couples,which has turned out okay We meet socially first and if all are happy we would meet again, but we have found that at the moment that it's harder finding couples maybe cos I'm a bbw or hubby out of age range, not hot sexy couple etc. But everyone needs to be in agreement

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

I (Mr) think there’s a slight difference between “psychological barrier” and “coming out of your comfort zone”

I suspect a lot of us Fabbers have had to come out of our comfort zone to varying degrees in order to live this lifestyle. And generally speaking in Vanilla life it’s usually a good thing to push your boundaries to find out what you are capable of.

You referring to a “psychological barrier”, and also elements like knowing your partner “would love to see you with another woman” sounds like it is putting quite a bit of pressure on you to perform. Hardly surprising a bit of stage fright can creep in, particularly in a club.

If you’re both sure about the sort of experiences you’re wanting to share, then there’s a case for a little legal chemical assistance to rev you up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say it is very refreshing to see alot of practical and sensible answers to the OP's question and feelings.

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Not that I recommend it and it annoys me that he does it but MrB pops a pill when we go to a club so he knows he’s always ready to perform when needed

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By * Little Taste of Crimson OP Couple
over a year ago

Here and there

Wow and thank you for the positive responses.

I think that the “time is right” element has a lot to be said for. Maybe for us as a couple we just aren’t ready to make that step yet?

From what we have read on the forums on this profile (and previous ones) it seems unusual that it’s the Male half of a partnership that is wanting to wait. Or maybe it’s just one of those things that men don’t like to talk about?

Another interesting point was the idea of abdication, in the meets that we have had that we consider highly successful, there has been an level playing field of all parties being involved. When we have met men who try to dominate or take over we often leave far less satisfied than we would have done. I suppose we aren’t looking for a replacement Alpha. But I can easily see where an individual will resign themselves to become an onlooker. Crimson and I have good communication and have stopped play before when this has happened previously (on both sides).

Having read and reread the responses I do think it is boiling down to the comfort zone.

I look forward to reading others perspectives and experiences.

We strongly believe that this is a journey that allows you constantly discover more about yourselves as individuals and aa a couple along the way.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Not that I recommend it and it annoys me that he does it but MrB pops a pill when we go to a club so he knows he’s always ready to perform when needed"

Them pills are fantastic just say away from to much drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right so without giving you all too much of a wall of text to read. We have recently come back from an 18 month or so break from meeting and playing. Our dynamic as a couple has generally been MFM meets with the recent discovery of MMF fun.

Soft play is amazing and we love it with others, it’s just when the time comes for actual penetration I think I need my partner with me for the very first time.

And to the single ladies, would you consider a meet with a couple to help us break through this psychological barrier? (This isn’t fishing for a meet just a genuine question)."
although my hubby has never had a problem with getting an erection while playing with cpls or alone..now he's more interested in me playing alone.been there done that sort of thing for him.id say subconsciously you think your cheating so you need your Mrs at all time.yes maybe a fmf might get you started but would be a good lady to take the chance incase you cant

.well perform so to speak lol.

Good luck tho hope you get it sorted x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Appreciate that this wasn’t exactly your question. However as a single guy, going into a mmf situation, I have previously suffered with not sustaining an erection. Highly embarrassed, but on both occasions all were great with me, maybe that’s what helped! I no longer have the same issue and can only put it down to the couple making me feel at ease, no pressure.

That may help in future?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As lone woman i wouldn't meet a couple unless i was into both of them and once you watch the ladies play together you should have no issues so it's more about whether you Mrs is wanting that kind of experience

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