FabSwingers.com forum: Widowed

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, I have a question. I'm widowed from several months yet still wear my wedding ring. I have never been to a club before and was wondering if I kept my ring on would people presume I am cheating and then avoid me. Should I take it off? Or am I overthinking it all?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's likely that people will assume you're married. I think you should either wear it because some people won't notice or care of remove it if you feel comfortable doing that.

I hope you enjoy your visit whatever you decide

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think if you are worrying about it you should remove it during club visits.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Several months, it still maybe a little soon for you. Do what you feel comfortable with. X

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By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"I think if you are worrying about it you should remove it during club visits. "

I would suggest that too, going to clubs can be stressful for many people anyway no point in adding to it.

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By *idddleWoman
over a year ago

southampton

Sorry for your loss

Do what you would feel better about in the long run. There’s no point in taking it off to have a slightly easier evening then feeling bad about not having kept it on.

Personally would appreciate your honesty in keeping it on, taking it off it’ll probably show that you normally wear one anyways. And if you are still wearing it it means something, which isn’t a bad thing.

But also think about how you will feel in the long run having worn it during actual sex, presuming you get some, if that may cause you longer term issues than removin it then consider it on that basis.

Basically fuck what other people think, go with your heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss

My opinion is sod them it’s your choice it’s your life and wear it with pride you’ve no reason to remove it and it sounds like it still holds a dear meaning to you so keep it on and don’t let it bother you

good luck and be strong xx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I think if you are worrying about it you should remove it during club visits. "

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I’m widowed .... but I’ve removed mine as it’s now 3yrs down the road and I feel in general that’s what I want to do it maybe a bit too soon for you ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for all your losses , it’s not easy as some days it’s hard to just forget about your partner even though they have passed

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Maybe I'm a bit wierd but I would keep it on. That way it would be like she was still with you.

Assuming you swing together of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,m a widow x I wear a big diamond engagement ring and get a lot of messages on my single profile asking if I am married, a cheating wife ect. People assume that a person is married if they see a ring on that finger. So I would say yes they will think you are married.

It's pointless you taking it off for the night, you will likely have a white Mark/indentation where it's been. I also find that it's a conversation killer when you tell people your spouse is deceased. X

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I,m a widow x I wear a big diamond engagement ring X

This is exactly me too. But I take it off before going to clubs as it can catch on stockings during play and ladder them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d assume you were still married and would give you a wide birth

Maybe leave it off or move it to the other hand like many other divorced / widowed people do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wear it around your neck.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi, I have a question. I'm widowed from several months yet still wear my wedding ring. I have never been to a club before and was wondering if I kept my ring on would people presume I am cheating and then avoid me. Should I take it off? Or am I overthinking it all?

Use it as a cock ring, get in that club and get fucking some hot wives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d assume you were still married and would give you a wide birth

Maybe leave it off or move it to the other hand like many other divorced / widowed people do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use it as a cock ring, get in that club and get fucking some hot wives

"
Class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss.

I think people would likely assume you are married yes, so best to take it off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really depends on what Urr comfy with, but any one asks you can be honest with them.

If you take the it off and you have a wedding ring band on your finger from years of wearing it they can easily think ur cheating took off on purpose.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Some people are very observant and will notice either way.

Others will not be looking for a slight mark on your finger.

I would go with taking it off or putting it on a necklace.

There would also be some for who a married man would be an attraction. So either way it could work for or against you.

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

I dare say there are many men still married who take their wedding off to give the illusion of being single, so on or off wouldn`t make much difference I would have thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have played regularly with a widowed guy and he does wear his ring. I feel it’s great respect to his wife and why should he remove it. We did meet at a club but had been chatting before hand so knew his circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your replies. I took it off once inside, the lighting was low and you couldn't tell. But as soon as I got in the car for the drive home I put it back on and it felt comforting.

It was too soon to go to a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your replies. I took it off once inside, the lighting was low and you couldn't tell. But as soon as I got in the car for the drive home I put it back on and it felt comforting.

It was too soon to go to a club

Aw no!

I hope you’re okay.

Maybe it’s best to focus on yourself and healing for a while, there’s plenty of time for fun later!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry dude heart goes to you, keep it on and wear it proudly an confidently an f@@k what ppl think they shouldn’t be so narrow minded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your replies. I took it off once inside, the lighting was low and you couldn't tell. But as soon as I got in the car for the drive home I put it back on and it felt comforting.

It was too soon to go to a club

"
Awh bless you x

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

If you want to keep wearing it for its sentimental value but not have folk get the wrong idea, could you not put it on your other hand

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By *ensualpleasures69Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Thanks for all your replies. I took it off once inside, the lighting was low and you couldn't tell. But as soon as I got in the car for the drive home I put it back on and it felt comforting.

It was too soon to go to a club

Your not on your own pal, same happened to me and I went too soon, thankfully people understand now and I’ve made some great friends. Step back a bit and re evaluate it in six months, all the best and look forward not back.

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

Just seen this thread for the first time.....

It took me 4 years after my wife died before I was able to re-engage with my sex life. The ring came off a year earlier than that because my finger got swollen underneath it. I keep it at home and occasionally consider getting it enlarged and to wear it again. For the time being I’m happy enough not to wear it, but fully appreciate the attachment to their’s that many people have.

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By *inglenfreeMan
over a year ago

london

Use it as a cock ring, get in that club and get fucking some hot wives

Crass insensitive idiot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about wearing it on a necklace that way you still have it on you.

Sorry for your loss x

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By *ickCalCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Wear it around your neck."

How’s he gonna get his head through the ring to wear it around his neck!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kept wearing my wedding ring, for about a year afterwards.

Still felt married and was hard to accept that half of my life had permanently gone.

Also felt shitty, being stuck with the despised 'single male' label again.

I joined Fab after 6 months but in retrospect, I was nowhere near ready.

The point where things started to turn around, was closer to 2 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took my wedding ring off a few weeks after my wife died, 5 months ago and I didn't last a day, I felt I was betraying her and had it back on PDQ. We were married just over 50 years and she was a great support to katie

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Yes likely some people would assume that, it is the default assumption for many. However it's never that simple in the club. For example a man with a wedding ring may be the male half of a swinging couple who's there on his own. Or a married man who has permission to swing from a wife who is not a swinger (this exists too). Also not everyone is bothered by cheating in my experience. A fair amount of people in clubs including a lot of people there as a couple are their without their respective spouses permission (especially in daytime clubs). Anyway my point is many experienced people are a bit more open minded to why you have a wedding ring on and would be happy to find out more about you before they judge.

What's important is how you feel about the ring above. You need to be true to yourself and how you feel. Don't take the ring off unless your 100% ok with that.

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