FabSwingers.com forum: The l word

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evening all this is sort of a follow on from my previous post which was about wether trying to get my mrs to sleep with someone else was a good idea or not.

We have sat down and spoke about things but there is one thing she said that really stopped me in my tracks and i had no reply for. She said if i really love her as much as I say I do why would I want to share her or let her fuck someone else.

I genuinely had no answer so I guess my question is how do you feel about the person you love being with someone else? Can i really love her like I believe I do if I want her to fuck a stranger?

This is in no way meant to sound belittling of anyone or your relationships just a genuine curisoity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all this is sort of a follow on from my previous post which was about wether trying to get my mrs to sleep with someone else was a good idea or not.

I genuinely had no answer so I guess my question is how do you feel about the person you love being with someone else? Can i really love her like I believe I do if I want her to fuck a stranger?

This is in no way meant to sound belittling of anyone or your relationships just a genuine curisoity."
If she's asking that question then you've got your answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

There could be lots of answers to that but only you will know the real reason and I think you have to get that reason straight in your own head first

Some of the reasons could be:

Cuckold

You would get off on the humiliation of knowing she was getting a good seeing to by someone bigger/better than you.

Stag and Vixen

You get off on the fact that you are facilitating her having a good time.

Showing off (controversial)

You want to show everyone that you have the ability to pull a first class bit of crumpet.

The nice guy

You think she is the best thing since sliced bread and don't think it's fair for one guy to monopolise her and not share.

There are others I'm sure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all this is sort of a follow on from my previous post which was about wether trying to get my mrs to sleep with someone else was a good idea or not.

I genuinely had no answer so I guess my question is how do you feel about the person you love being with someone else? Can i really love her like I believe I do if I want her to fuck a stranger?

This is in no way meant to sound belittling of anyone or your relationships just a genuine curisoity."

In my view love and sex are two separate things. When they combine it's fireworks, otherwise just smaller pops yet very much enjoyable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

I love my wife enough to want to give her the maximum pleasure possible. I love seeing her excited and watching her lose herself and giving her the most intense orgasms possible.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

I'll add to this and say that it also makes our love more intense as we have something 'naughty' we do together that no-one else knows about. We speak more openly and freely to each other and its something we we both know that we don't talk about to any other of our friends or family. There is some kind of additional emotional intimacy, if that makes any sense.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/08/19 08:12:10]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

We live this lifestyle together and would never ask each other to do something. We do what we want to as a couple and as individuals and respect each other's wishes and desires....that way we are both happy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Do you love her, what are your 'genuine' reasons for wanting this?

Love isn't ownership and sex and love aren't the same thing. Love isn't trying to persuade your partner into something they don't want either.

The ball is very firmly in your court on this one and the longer you take to answer your wife the more doubts she will have about how much you care for her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you love her, what are your 'genuine' reasons for wanting this?

Love isn't ownership and sex and love aren't the same thing. Love isn't trying to persuade your partner into something they don't want either.

The ball is very firmly in your court on this one and the longer you take to answer your wife the more doubts she will have about how much you care for her"

Sorry I never saw this reply. I love her more than anything and she knows all she has to do is say no and I would drop the subject.

My reasons are similar to many I have seen I think but will list below:

I have a thing for embarassment shame and she has a thing for being in control for me this is the ultimate versions of them emotions

I love seeing her pleasure herself just watching her receive pleasure or pleasuring her and not being bothered about myself so seeing how much she may enjoy sleeping with someone is a big turn on for me

Finally I want her to be as fulfilled and as possible no regrets wishing had done it in 30 years time or anything like that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

"I'll add to this and say that it also makes our love more intense as we have something 'naughty' we do together that no-one else knows about. We speak more openly and freely to each other and its something we we both know that we don't talk about to any other of our friends or family. There is some kind of additional emotional intimacy, if that makes any sense."
Totally agree with this as it has enhanced our relationship ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her if she’d like to suck on 2 cocks at once or if she’d like to be spit roasted? Swinging isn’t just about swapping it’s about sharing & having naughty fun together doing things you can’t do as a couple, it’s about imagination, sadly lacking with a lot of people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is in-built into our genome.. Let's face it..we are all selfish at times..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love and sex can be separated. They have to be for this lifestyle. Our sex alone as a couple is still loving, exciting and private. But the rest is fun we have together.

Once the two are separated and you realise that you don’t need monogamy to have an incredibly loving relationship, then you can experience more together. It’s not for everyone at all. The insecurity, potential for jealousy and comparison make it tricky but excellent communication is needed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also if you google mojo quiz, it’s a couples quiz about kinks and includes swinging questions. It’s a great start and only shows the answers you match on so no shyness about revealing your kinks unless they’ve the same one. That quiz opened the door for us and we began ticking things off the list

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all this is sort of a follow on from my previous post which was about wether trying to get my mrs to sleep with someone else was a good idea or not.

I genuinely had no answer so I guess my question is how do you feel about the person you love being with someone else? Can i really love her like I believe I do if I want her to fuck a stranger?

This is in no way meant to sound belittling of anyone or your relationships just a genuine curisoity."

I've been having the exact same problem, I have been brought up thinking sex is a intimate thing between a couple.

My hubby is a vouyer so to sit and watch me with others really turns him on, however, the thought of him with another girl really used to bother me.

I mistook at as he isn't interested or doesn't find me attractive etc.

To be honest, since joining fab mine and hubby's marriage is a lot better, we are more open, our sex life has taken a complete boost and we are more committed and comfortable with each other

I've kind of got to a place where it is just sex, I'm using fab to explore my sexuality, if I don't like it then it stops. Hubby is also doing the same.

Maybe your wife just isnt into it? She may come around in her own time? It's quite an intimidating scene to start off in if you have worries.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I'm quite a natural lover and when I’m in love no one else matters, I don’t desire or need anyone else it’s a simple as that

So I can see how she feels

But marriage is long term and like most marriages you will very likely need to spice things up as it does become regimented and couples will naturally lose the urge to do it too, I’ve lost count of the people I know that rarely or never have sex anymore

Many couples invite others into the personal space and it’s purely for fun, as long as it’s both seen as that it will be a joint adventure and you decide on how to make it work well for you both read up on it etc

If you really find you need this but she doesn’t well I can’t see how it will work tbh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tever69UKMan
over a year ago

bury

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/women-who-stray/201007/why-would-you-do-watch-your-wife-another-man

This is an interesting article on the subject

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Do you love her, what are your 'genuine' reasons for wanting this?

Love isn't ownership and sex and love aren't the same thing. Love isn't trying to persuade your partner into something they don't want either.

The ball is very firmly in your court on this one and the longer you take to answer your wife the more doubts she will have about how much you care for her

Sorry I never saw this reply. I love her more than anything and she knows all she has to do is say no and I would drop the subject.

My reasons are similar to many I have seen I think but will list below:

I have a thing for embarassment shame and she has a thing for being in control for me this is the ultimate versions of them emotions

Finally I want her to be as fulfilled and as possible no regrets wishing had done it in 30 years time or anything like that

It sounds like you have a cuckold dynamic - maybe this is something you could research together to understand the practicalities of that within your lives. If it appeals to you both, then great! If not, then there’s your answer

It’s got to be at a level both parties are comfortable with or it doesn’t work.

Good luck OP!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Yes you can still love you partner and wish to see them have fun with another.

We love to see the other getting and giving pleasure to others but at the end of the night we know that we will be going home together. It is a bit of fun and spice to a loving relationship nothing more nothing less.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread