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"I was wondering if women in particular would be able to help me out with this. Despite my persona, I can be a bit shy in person, particularly when I'm getting lots of attention. I've changed shape significantly this year (weight loss/ weight lifting), and I feel like I've gone from being an option in clubs to getting intense attention. It's actually a bit intimidating and makes me not want to play. (I've also had more people touch me without asking, and when I'm already intimidated, I struggle to handle that). I'm not sure whether repeat exposure will make this better, or there's another way. I want to meet (and fuck) nice people, but the all/ most eyes on me thing makes me want to go home. " I think this cannot be changed, harsh truth women and men visit the club to fulfill sexual desire and they look for prey judge if it's easy one then intimate, it will always be there, either you can avoid and be a shy or change yourself become playful with dotted line and express, not to cross the line. Play full with eyes but stern with expression, and a partner cum bodyguard (women or man)  | |||
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"I was wondering if women in particular would be able to help me out with this. Despite my persona, I can be a bit shy in person, particularly when I'm getting lots of attention. I've changed shape significantly this year (weight loss/ weight lifting), and I feel like I've gone from being an option in clubs to getting intense attention. It's actually a bit intimidating and makes me not want to play. (I've also had more people touch me without asking, and when I'm already intimidated, I struggle to handle that). I'm not sure whether repeat exposure will make this better, or there's another way. I want to meet (and fuck) nice people, but the all/ most eyes on me thing makes me want to go home. I think this cannot be changed, harsh truth women and men visit the club to fulfill sexual desire and they look for prey judge if it's easy one then intimate, it will always be there, either you can avoid and be a shy or change yourself become playful with dotted line and express, not to cross the line. Play full with eyes but stern with expression, and a partner cum bodyguard (women or man) "If they're looking for prey I'll shut down or leave. | |||
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"I was wondering if women in particular would be able to help me out with this. Despite my persona, I can be a bit shy in person, particularly when I'm getting lots of attention. I've changed shape significantly this year (weight loss/ weight lifting), and I feel like I've gone from being an option in clubs to getting intense attention. It's actually a bit intimidating and makes me not want to play. (I've also had more people touch me without asking, and when I'm already intimidated, I struggle to handle that). I'm not sure whether repeat exposure will make this better, or there's another way. I want to meet (and fuck) nice people, but the all/ most eyes on me thing makes me want to go home. " The only thing I would suggest is to go with someone you trust another lady or a gentleman who can watch out for you. Or at least try not to play out in the open and use one of the lockable rooms if the club. | |||
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What is wrong with people!? | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?"It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger. | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger. "The ideal reaction would be to immediately call them out on it and report them to the club. However I know that it isn't easy and we tend to freeze in those situations or go into a sort of 'did that just happen?' mode. | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger.
The ideal reaction would be to immediately call them out on it and report them to the club. However I know that it isn't easy and we tend to freeze in those situations or go into a sort of 'did that just happen?' mode."Oh indeed. Combining that with the disconcerting amount of attention I'm now getting... I really struggle to respond. It's hard. | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger.
The ideal reaction would be to immediately call them out on it and report them to the club. However I know that it isn't easy and we tend to freeze in those situations or go into a sort of 'did that just happen?' mode.
Oh indeed. Combining that with the disconcerting amount of attention I'm now getting... I really struggle to respond. It's hard. "It must be. I can understand how you feel although I've never been in that position. Could you go on a quieter night or have a word with the club staff? | |||
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"Lay your rules out to them ie: Look but don't touch etc" That should go without saying. | |||
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"Lay your rules out to them ie: Look but don't touch etc" PS you look great  | |||
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"Perhaps you need to visit a better club OP? Sounds like the staff aren't quite on top of things. " It's been several clubs tbh. I'm starting to wonder if I should cover up more when I dress down, hide myself. | |||
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Best wishes x | |||
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not making fun, but I don't see any solution (visit couple only days, awareness, educate blah blah!). | |||
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"I was wondering if women in particular would be able to help me out with this. Despite my persona, I can be a bit shy in person, particularly when I'm getting lots of attention. I've changed shape significantly this year (weight loss/ weight lifting), and I feel like I've gone from being an option in clubs to getting intense attention. It's actually a bit intimidating and makes me not want to play. (I've also had more people touch me without asking, and when I'm already intimidated, I struggle to handle that). I'm not sure whether repeat exposure will make this better, or there's another way. I want to meet (and fuck) nice people, but the all/ most eyes on me thing makes me want to go home. " . One that works for me when I'm accompanying a lady to a club if a guy touches them or anyone else inappropriately is to say. Hey .. don't get thrown out for something that you might regret.This usually does the trick and they stop as they don't want to risk a ban. It's the non regulars you have to watch out for . I'm also pretty stern in the play rooms if they approach the bed. I tell them to give us a little bit of space and wait to be invited. I guess this is why it's always good for a single female in a club to have a wingman  | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger.
The ideal reaction would be to immediately call them out on it and report them to the club. However I know that it isn't easy and we tend to freeze in those situations or go into a sort of 'did that just happen?' mode.
Oh indeed. Combining that with the disconcerting amount of attention I'm now getting... I really struggle to respond. It's hard. "I go to clubs on my own and initially had the same response; in honesty, even now some nights are too much and I don’t play. You really do have to say no. It sounds harsh to me, and probably to you, but it’s the only clear way. I also clearly state ‘I’m not playing tonight’ or ‘just a social’ in conversation when I’m not feeling the vibe on a club night too. People either walk off or accept it and continue to socialise, which is better; I tend to never speak to those who walk off again 
I prefer now to chose myself and approach rather then feel like the prey.
It’s only unwanted attention because you don’t feel the attraction back and a simple no has generally sufficed. Only a few times have I had to use the ‘club rule’ line 
Remember that you’re their for your enjoyment and pleasure - do what suits you x | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger.
The ideal reaction would be to immediately call them out on it and report them to the club. However I know that it isn't easy and we tend to freeze in those situations or go into a sort of 'did that just happen?' mode.
Oh indeed. Combining that with the disconcerting amount of attention I'm now getting... I really struggle to respond. It's hard.
I go to clubs on my own and initially had the same response; in honesty, even now some nights are too much and I don’t play.
You really do have to say no. It sounds harsh to me, and probably to you, but it’s the only clear way. I also clearly state ‘I’m not playing tonight’ or ‘just a social’ in conversation when I’m not feeling the vibe on a club night too.
People either walk off or accept it and continue to socialise, which is better; I tend to never speak to those who walk off again
I prefer now to chose myself and approach rather then feel like the prey.
It’s only unwanted attention because you don’t feel the attraction back and a simple no has generally sufficed. Only a few times have I had to use the ‘club rule’ line
Remember that you’re their for your enjoyment and pleasure - do what suits you x ". Well said | |||
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"Perhaps you need to visit a better club OP? Sounds like the staff aren't quite on top of things. It's been several clubs tbh. I'm starting to wonder if I should cover up more when I dress down, hide myself. " Absolutely not!! You have worked hard so be proud of that and dress as sexy as you want. I attract a bit of attention from single men, but any unsolicited touching doesn't end well for them. You need to find your loud voice. First touch in a non sexual place is always given a loud 'no', subsequent or intimate touch unleases my wrath and they get a very loud 'fuck off don't touch me' and report to staff. Over the years I guess my flight reflex has been trained , like someine has suggested. It annoys the hell out of me. What sort of scenarios are you attracting the attention - changing rooms? playing in open spaces? social areas? They may need different responses. | |||
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"I know, in theory, how to handle unwanted touching. I used to handle it. And tbh it's only adding insult to injury here. Everyone is focused on the touching. I want less attention. Anywhere I'm dressed down, I feel like I'm being stared at. The number of people coming up to me has increased significantly. Yes it's probably flattering, hypothetically, but I feel overwhelmed by it and I want them to stop, look somewhere else. It makes me clam up, which is the last thing I go to a club to do. " I understand how you feel completely. I have been going to clubs for a while, and I feel I should be flattered by attention but I have never felt comfortable or relaxed, because I feel like people are looking at me. Which they probably aren’t but I just feel like they are, I used to hide in the ladies for a little while when I felt so overwhelmed or even leave early, when I would go to a club on my own. My shyness is unfortunately still bad, I can’t even get into a hot tub unless I wear something. Even the idea of being naked in front of lots of people makes me panic. I wish I could say it gets easier over time and the more you go. But for me it hasn’t, and I also want to enjoy this lifestyle but at the moment with these feelings I cannot. I’m hoping that taking a long break and trying to work on myself and my feelings of shyness, away from clubs, will eventually allow me to go back to clubs feeling more comfortable there. I hope you find a way to control your shyness xx | |||
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"I know, in theory, how to handle unwanted touching. I used to handle it. And tbh it's only adding insult to injury here. Everyone is focused on the touching. I want less attention. Anywhere I'm dressed down, I feel like I'm being stared at. The number of people coming up to me has increased significantly. Yes it's probably flattering, hypothetically, but I feel overwhelmed by it and I want them to stop, look somewhere else. It makes me clam up, which is the last thing I go to a club to do. " You're obviously upset and frustrated by this and I'm sorry I focused on the part of your post you least wanted advice on. I don't know how you stop people looking or paying you unwanted attention. I can suggest two things, dress to become invisible or accept the attention as normal. Just as we're always telling the straight guys who complain about other men looking at their profile we have no control over who looks.  | |||
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"I know, in theory, how to handle unwanted touching. I used to handle it. And tbh it's only adding insult to injury here. Everyone is focused on the touching. I want less attention. Anywhere I'm dressed down, I feel like I'm being stared at. The number of people coming up to me has increased significantly. Yes it's probably flattering, hypothetically, but I feel overwhelmed by it and I want them to stop, look somewhere else. It makes me clam up, which is the last thing I go to a club to do. " Maybe don't go to clubs then if you don't like attention. People are trying to help you not add insult to your injury. A good looking woman will always get attention in clubs. It is the nature of the beast. | |||
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"I know, in theory, how to handle unwanted touching. I used to handle it. And tbh it's only adding insult to injury here. Everyone is focused on the touching. I want less attention. Anywhere I'm dressed down, I feel like I'm being stared at. The number of people coming up to me has increased significantly. Yes it's probably flattering, hypothetically, but I feel overwhelmed by it and I want them to stop, look somewhere else. It makes me clam up, which is the last thing I go to a club to do. " Please please don't take this the wrong way, but if the looking and attention is the issue it might suggest that the problem is your internal reaction to it. It sounds as if you've changed body shape but not gained confidence in the process (in this scenario anyway). A single woman in a club will get looks and attention, that's the nature of the beast, but rather than covering up more or hiding in a corner perhaps you need to focus on claiming your personal space, holding your head up high and kind of mentally dismissing the gawpers and lookers. You can't control people looking but you can change how it makes you feel - NLP or similar might be of help? x | |||
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"I know, in theory, how to handle unwanted touching. I used to handle it. And tbh it's only adding insult to injury here. Everyone is focused on the touching. I want less attention. Anywhere I'm dressed down, I feel like I'm being stared at. The number of people coming up to me has increased significantly. Yes it's probably flattering, hypothetically, but I feel overwhelmed by it and I want them to stop, look somewhere else. It makes me clam up, which is the last thing I go to a club to do. Please please don't take this the wrong way, but if the looking and attention is the issue it might suggest that the problem is your internal reaction to it. It sounds as if you've changed body shape but not gained confidence in the process (in this scenario anyway). A single woman in a club will get looks and attention, that's the nature of the beast, but rather than covering up more or hiding in a corner perhaps you need to focus on claiming your personal space, holding your head up high and kind of mentally dismissing the gawpers and lookers. You can't control people looking but you can change how it makes you feel - NLP or similar might be of help? x " I think this is good advice. | |||
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"I have nothing helpful to add but the touching thing would have me raging.
What is wrong with people!?
It all happens so quickly and I don't know how to react. It didn't used to when I was bigger. "All you need to remember is you are in charge and no means no including touching, | |||
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