FabSwingers.com forum: Milking machine

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m thinking of getting one of these off eBay wondered if anyone else’s has tried one?

2l Electric Milking Machine Cow Sheep Goat Milker Portable Vacuum Pump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

I have two built them myself both work and feel great. One is copy of the seriouskit milker the second is a copy of the Venus 2000 milker. I prefer to use the Venus copy one the most love the feel it gives.

Both the original machines are very expensive in my opinion but I guess if your getting years and years of pleasure of them they worth the money.

PM me if you want more info.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighlander80884Man
over a year ago

Inverness

Depends, is it cows, sheep, goats, they call require a different machines.

You can always use the manual method but a milkmaid is best.

Buy a stable bucket though, as you don't want to cry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought I'd heard of everything.. I thought wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eviationMan
over a year ago

Brynamman

"Thought I'd heard of everything.. I thought wrong. "

You dont search the net enough pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they work as i got a double uder one from ebay - used to come within minutes but keeping them out of sight of the kids, etc was risky so threw them away. Now, every so often when mrs is out i fuck the vaccum cleaner, take the hose off, put a small tube on the hole and life it lie down on bd and fuck it like fucking my wife but better as i cant really keep it up as i used to, boyy do i cum hard. If my wife ever found out she would be disgusted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellytransvTV/TS
over a year ago

Wirral

"they work as i got a double uder one from ebay - used to come within minutes but keeping them out of sight of the kids, etc was risky so threw them away. Now, every so often when mrs is out i fuck the vaccum cleaner, take the hose off, put a small tube on the hole and life it lie down on bd and fuck it like fucking my wife but better as i cant really keep it up as i used to, boyy do i cum hard. If my wife ever found out she would be disgusted."

Best post ever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogNMuseCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

Poor Henry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Is the vacuum cleaner turned on while you are fucking it ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

Have seen this done on some of the porn video site out there but never fancied trying it myself. As long as your enjoying it and having fun good for you carry on just don't let the wife find out. I will stick to my venus 2000 milker thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened to the good ole days of simply having a wank lol

I'm going to look at hubby in a completely different way now when he says "I've done the hoovering".. Infact he left Henry in the bedroom and has just put him away.... Hhhmmm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

"What happened to the good ole days of simply having a wank lol

I'm going to look at hubby in a completely different way now when he says "I've done the hoovering".. Infact he left Henry in the bedroom and has just put him away.... Hhhmmm

Well now you know why he has big smile on his face after doing the hoovering.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What happened to the good ole days of simply having a wank lol

I'm going to look at hubby in a completely different way now when he says "I've done the hoovering".. Infact he left Henry in the bedroom and has just put him away.... Hhhmmm

Well now you know why he has big smile on his face after doing the hoovering.

Just as long as he's finished the hoovering first!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emptedfaustCouple
over a year ago

Brentwood & London

"Is the vacuum cleaner turned on while you are fucking it ?"

If it wasn’t turned on, you weren’t focussing on the foreplay

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Poor Henry

Now seriously, how on earth do you know this gent is called Henry??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histlerMan
over a year ago

Guildford

"Is the vacuum cleaner turned on while you are fucking it ?"

Yes, it’s consensual

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

"I’m thinking of getting one of these off eBay wondered if anyone else’s has tried one?

2l Electric Milking Machine Cow Sheep Goat Milker Portable Vacuum Pump"

It's a real thing!!!!!

I thought I had seen it all!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You fuck a vacuum cleaner ? What about the mess you must make in it , bloody hell the smell that must make when your wife vacs the front room

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edonisthenryMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

My name is not Henry for nothing and it makes me proud to see it on vacuum cleaners!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hyguy1966Man
over a year ago

Monifieth

Is this for real? Always happy to automate the process lol happy to receive images of it working

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mandajane01TV/TS
over a year ago

Ballymena

Poor Henry

There is also a Hetty obviously for hettyrosexual guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *punkyMcFuckKnuckleMan
over a year ago

Glasvegas/Kilmarnock

Best post ever

I agree. This wins Saturday. We should just give up now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought I'd heard of everything.. I thought wrong. "

Tend to be in agreeable. I thought everything had been invented.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best post ever

I agree. This wins Saturday. We should just give up now.

OMG.. Really you have to Fuck the hoover

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You fuck a vacuum cleaner ? What about the mess you must make in it , bloody hell the smell that must make when your wife vacs the front room "

The thought alone makes me vomit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What happened to the good ole days of simply having a wank lol

I'm going to look at hubby in a completely different way now when he says "I've done the hoovering".. Infact he left Henry in the bedroom and has just put him away.... Hhhmmm

But hoover be full of cum.. Stale cum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JWMan
over a year ago

caerphilly

"You fuck a vacuum cleaner ? What about the mess you must make in it , bloody hell the smell that must make when your wife vacs the front room

The thought alone makes me vomit"

Maybe try shake and vac to put that freshness back.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do all realise that everytime you masterbate whether it be through a mechanical device or your hand God does indeed kill a kitten :/

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he massuseMan
over a year ago

newport

If that's the case I'm surprised there are any cats left in the world

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG I am crying with laughter this has to be the funniest forum conversation I've read, thank you all for making my day pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he massuseMan
over a year ago

newport

"What happened to the good ole days of simply having a wank lol

I'm going to look at hubby in a completely different way now when he says "I've done the hoovering".. Infact he left Henry in the bedroom and has just put him away.... Hhhmmm

But hoover be full of cum.. Stale cum. "

No wonder Henry has a smiley face!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TBH, I found it easy to post open and honestly but now feeling quiet embarrassed.

I've seen a few vids where guys fuck the hoover, nothing wrong in that we have the older style one that you pull along so i can put it on our bed when the wife is out, put a cardboard roll tube on it, cut it to size, stand and fuck it, the vibaration as i go in and out sends me crazy, then i lift the hoover get on bed on top of it and fuck it hard i cum very quick. It's a better fuck than the wife as i'm old and cant keep it hard when inside my wifes pussy but the hoover keeps it big. This is one f the other reason i want to see my wife fucking strangers agian and we are getting there.

Do you anyhting to share?

Btw, I've fucked those large holded ornage/juice bottles with some weater in it, nice cum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If that's the case I'm surprised there are any cats left in the world"

More cats than kittens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Niki's just back from shopping and demanding to know why I've glued a blonde wig and a pair of googly eyes to the vacuum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

[Removed by poster at 11/08/19 08:38:39]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

I don't have one of these but did invest in a system converted for pleasure from Serious Kit. It is a fantastic piece of equipment but the vacuum pump and pulsator are quiet noisy which limits when it gets used as I try and time it to when my neighbour is out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m thinking of getting one of these off eBay wondered if anyone else’s has tried one?

2l Electric Milking Machine Cow Sheep Goat Milker Portable Vacuum Pump"

Depends what you want to milk fella. If you are thinking on your cock then unless you have a very slim cock it won't fit in goat ones!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Never can I look at hoovers in the same way again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If that's the case I'm surprised there are any cats left in the world

More cats than kittens"

Oh heck..I live in a shared house with 3 other guys, we have a Henry and never see any kittens round here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

"If that's the case I'm surprised there are any cats left in the world

More cats than kittens

Oh heck..I live in a shared house with 3 other guys, we have a Henry and never see any kittens round here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

"If that's the case I'm surprised there are any cats left in the world

More cats than kittens

Oh heck..I live in a shared house with 3 other guys, we have a Henry and never see any kittens round here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heeseandWineCouple
over a year ago

Reading and Southampton

"OMG I am crying with laughter this has to be the funniest forum conversation I've read, thank you all for making my day pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heeseandWineCouple
over a year ago

Reading and Southampton

"Niki's just back from shopping and demanding to know why I've glued a blonde wig and a pair of googly eyes to the vacuum

"
Absolutely the funniest forum conversation I can remember

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a Hetty but she’s never been abused in this way .. jeez when the hoover is a better shag than your wife things are bad !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Niki's just back from shopping and demanding to know why I've glued a blonde wig and a pair of googly eyes to the vacuum

I actually giggled out loud to this comment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...are we still doing this???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

With some of the more powerful dysons out there I’d advise caution - that guy who went into hospital for a routine op and ended up minus his foreskin springs to mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omfg you lot are brilliant. This post has given me the best giggles for weeks

brilliant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the ? ... This thread is not suggesting what I think it's suggesting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"With some of the more powerful dysons out there I’d advise caution - that guy who went into hospital for a routine op and ended up minus his foreskin springs to mind "

FFS you saying they used a vacuum cleaner on his cock in hospital????? i mean i know they now have to clean the wards! but this is outrageous!!!! lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best post ever

Many thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

Wouldn’t it be better to use viagra and fuck your wife rather than the vacuum cleaner?

Although if you actually do the hoovering beforehand that definitely earns you brownie points lol

Thanks for the giggles!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"Wouldn’t it be better to use viagra and fuck your wife rather than the vacuum cleaner?

Although if you actually do the hoovering beforehand that definitely earns you brownie points lol

Thanks for the giggles!"

What if he too viagra, got too hard and got his cock stuck in the vacuum? Gotta think these things through first!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Thats it the vax is under lock and key now ! Btw which hoover bags do use? Them aftermarket Qualitex ones are useless!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Niki's just back from shopping and demanding to know why I've glued a blonde wig and a pair of googly eyes to the vacuum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 12/08/19 18:51:19]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

This thread has definitely won the Internet this week

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Milking machines need handling with care, if your shoot to fast it could go pastyoureyes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harliebluestockingsCouple
over a year ago

london

WTF

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arksterxMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Poor Henry

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

typical thread male posts gets ribbed for it

other uses for milking machine

pulsing clit sucker

breast nipple sucker

have seen a video of it in usage with both clit and breast been fitted with the suckers

can be used within bondage

so not just a cock milking machine

has been featured on fucking machines videos

Though I cant say nothin, Can actually build one as have all the materials to build one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You fuck a vacuum cleaner ? What about the mess you must make in it , bloody hell the smell that must make when your wife vacs the front room "

Thats why they invented Shake and Vac

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Yeah...erm, I hate to break it to you dude, but she posts in the forums too, so she probably already knows!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah...erm, I hate to break it to you dude, but she posts in the forums too, so she probably already knows!

Do you think he knows she posts in the forums? Oh blimey, thats torn it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

"You do all realise that everytime you masterbate whether it be through a mechanical device or your hand God does indeed kill a kitten :/"

We got a new pet friendly hoover!

Hopefully that will help Balance things and save some kittens !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You fuck a vacuum cleaner ? What about the mess you must make in it , bloody hell the smell that must make when your wife vacs the front room

Thats why they invented Shake and Vac"

I doubt even shake n vac will put the freshness back . Stale cum must stink the whole place out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a Hetty but she’s never been abused in this way .. jeez when the hoover is a better shag than your wife things are bad !! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Possibly the best laugh on here since the Amazon veet review !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I want to break free ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

This is not my bag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * little bit naughtyCouple
over a year ago

Bedford

Make sure it’s set for less than a gallon, or you’ll never get it turned off!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *essica jamiesonWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Poor Henry

"
It may be a Hetty?? Lol lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You people are sick you should be ashamed of yourselfs...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rx1Couple
over a year ago

North Devon-ish

Stick with the wife, Electricity prices are bloody extortionate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor Henry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor Henry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have two built them myself both work and feel great. One is copy of the seriouskit milker the second is a copy of the Venus 2000 milker. I prefer to use the Venus copy one the most love the feel it gives.

Both the original machines are very expensive in my opinion but I guess if your getting years and years of pleasure of them they worth the money.

PM me if you want more info.

So you are offering a 4 man milking party then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

Both the original machines are very expensive in my opinion but I guess if your getting years and years of pleasure of them they worth the money.

PM me if you want more info.

So you are offering a 4 man milking party then.

Nope as it's not a cow milking machine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

This is hilarious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread