FabSwingers.com forum: How do you deal with post-orgasm frame of mind?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Nope.. cant say I ever have

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Pm me OP I have experience of this on t’other side of the fence so to speak!!!!

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

Wow how very shallow ! Bet you will be popular with the ladies after this lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?"

I guess I should have directed this to men. This is something most men experience after cumming. I don't think women experience this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow how very shallow ! Bet you will be popular with the ladies after this lol

Completely missed the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?

I guess I should have directed this to men. This is something most men experience after cumming. I don't think women experience this."

You still havent explained what you mean though

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Probably stop digging at this point

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By *ensualpleasures69Man
over a year ago

leeds

Give the guy a bit of slack folks!,

Most tend to sit back and enjoy the feeling of what’s just happened, nobody worries about a limp dick after sex, you then need to look for a willing fluffer and start again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?

I guess I should have directed this to men. This is something most men experience after cumming. I don't think women experience this.

You still havent explained what you mean though"

When you're aroused your inhibitions are lowered, and you might do something you wouldn't normally do. If you're in a private place with someone then some aftercare and talk with them can help with that. Whereas if you're in a club then I'd imagine it's a little harder.

I did not mean regretting fucking a woman as someone tried to make out

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

OP just go with the flow in a club. You are over thinking things.....

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By *appy_hedonistMan
over a year ago

Islington

Try to avoid doing something you wouldn't do if your dick wasn't driving - and then you won't have the problem

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP just go with the flow in a club. You are over thinking things.....

Thanks. I was asking out of curiosity but maybe my initial post wasn't too clear which is why some misunderstood my question!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I understand what you mean op. A lot of people experience a kind of post orgasm drop, your body has been flooded with feel good hormones and endorphins and suddenly they're gone! It helps to acknowledge that it will happen and just tell yourself it will pass.

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"I understand what you mean op. A lot of people experience a kind of post orgasm drop, your body has been flooded with feel good hormones and endorphins and suddenly they're gone! It helps to acknowledge that it will happen and just tell yourself it will pass.

Exactly this, go get a drink or some fresh air then dive straight back in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to explain mate. I believe this is normal feeling of " guilt " after casual sex . At a club you might find yourself in a group situation or watching another couple in close proximity. Something in your day to day vanilla life you would never do. Simple act as walking up to a stranger asking to fuck then boom. In your vanilla life it would never happen hence the " guilt". Try not to over complicate it. Just laugh it off in your head.the ability to laugh at yourself is a wonderful healer

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"No need to explain mate. I believe this is normal feeling of " guilt " after casual sex . At a club you might find yourself in a group situation or watching another couple in close proximity. Something in your day to day vanilla life you would never do. Simple act as walking up to a stranger asking to fuck then boom. In your vanilla life it would never happen hence the " guilt". Try not to over complicate it. Just laugh it off in your head.the ability to laugh at yourself is a wonderful healer "

Yeah I do think guilt comes in to it for some people, if you can get past that it's fine

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

"Try to avoid doing something you wouldn't do if your dick wasn't driving - and then you won't have the problem

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Exactly what i was told at the end of my meet recently.

I laughed but, deep inside, oh how my heart sank

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Wow how very shallow ! Bet you will be popular with the ladies after this lol

Very honest guy, very rare here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I do think guilt comes in to it for some people, if you can get past that it's fine"

It normally happens on my drive home . I think did just really do that?? Then the little guy in red sat on my shoulder says " yep you did! High five!!" And the feeling goes

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I tend to drink lots of buckfast have a couple of sniffs of last weeks pants and then I whack it a couple of times

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?

I guess I should have directed this to men. This is something most men experience after cumming. I don't think women experience this.

You still havent explained what you mean though

I did not mean regretting fucking a woman as someone tried to make out

As someone into some more taboo kinks I know what you mean. I imagine its worse for men too as women tend to maintain some level if arousal for a while. If I've played darker I tend to be more affectionate with the person afterwards. It feels kind of like an affirmation that we're still okay and I don't see them any differently.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Wow how very shallow ! Bet you will be popular with the ladies after this lol

Very honest guy, very rare here"

It is isn't it.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

If you're going on guilt trips it best if you don't try to take others with you

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By *uncpl187Couple
over a year ago

Ramsgate

If you have just cum,instead of worrying what it looks like on the way down,spend that time kissing and cuddling who you are with.Share the feeling and the feeling will come back and you will have a member that has now regained it's shape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post orgasm shame/blues? I think it eases off when you realise what you're doing is nothing to be ashamed of.. Or you stop doing what it that's making you feel guilty/ashamed/low/dirty.. whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Force yourself to have a post coital cuddle. Then quite quickly you spookily discover you are enjoying the cuddle and given a short while the brain then says, "give it another go and see what happens" Not sure how that works in the club scenario though!!!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"If you're going on guilt trips it best if you don't try to take others with you

Exactly this! I had this with a guy in a club recently so I had to be very blunt with him.....! Btw he is not on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all very new to this, so have never done anything in public or in a club.

When in a club how do you deal with the loss of arousal after cumming? Do you ever think "Why on Earth did I just do that?!".

Why did i do what?

What do you mean?

I guess I should have directed this to men. This is something most men experience after cumming. I don't think women experience this."

Haha! Think again!

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

I think the op needs to be aware of other people's feelings as well as his own and modify his behaviour to minimise any I'll effects , selfish people don't do well in the lifestyle

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By *hangerMan
over a year ago

brighton

As others have indicated, perhaps a bit of kissing and cuddling might help.

Personally, although ancient by many people's standards, I don't get a low after cumming as I am then getting ready to cum again if the situation makes it possible.

Last year in a session I was able to cum three times, which for a guy in his fifties I thought was pretty reasonable! Nothing like as good when many years younger, but not bad!

Even after that I don't get a low but maybe I am unusual!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the op needs to be aware of other people's feelings as well as his own and modify his behaviour to minimise any I'll effects , selfish people don't do well in the lifestyle "

Why are you constantly trying to gaslight me? You know very well that's not what I'm going on about (as other's replies show) yet you are still trying to steer the conversation to something completely different.

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By *uicyfruit3Man
over a year ago

portsmouth

The OP is getting a bit of stick here and maybe it wasn't worded greatly, but I know exactly what he's saying here.

I don't get that low feeling when having fun with a single woman, as you can kiss and cuddle afterwards and generally just chill out.

However I have had situations where it's been an MMF or a gangbang or bukkake meet where after you've cum there can be a temporary feeling of the opposite of the euphoria you felt a few minutes prior. You can't kiss and cuddle after a gangbang after all.

I have had that low spike feeling of "OMG I am utter filth" and "what would my mum think if she knew" but it goes after a few minutes and everything is back to normal again

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"The OP is getting a bit of stick here and maybe it wasn't worded greatly, but I know exactly what he's saying here.

I don't get that low feeling when having fun with a single woman, as you can kiss and cuddle afterwards and generally just chill out.

I have had that low spike feeling of "OMG I am utter filth" and "what would my mum think if she knew" but it goes after a few minutes and everything is back to normal again

Yeah I think some people are reading far too much into it. Feeling guilt after sex doesn't automatically mean it is in any was a criticism of who you had sex with. It can happen to people for any number of reasons from being raised by a religious family to someone's own insecurities or negative perceptions of themselves.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I would rather know someone might have a feeling of guilt, dread, fear or complete numbness prior to having sex with them tbh so I can understand and not think it’s me, but I think in a club or meeting senerio you will need to possibly take yourself to the loo after to poise yourself then return and just try to be as pleasant as you can, try to distract those feelings if you are still having them with rewinding parts of the meeting and talking about what was the best bits etc

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I can relate I think.

I like watching my wife have sex with other men. I sit and wank whilst they screw each other’s brains out. After I have cum it definitely feels different. Assuming the show is still going on I take less or no further interest. I wouldn’t stop them mid flow or regret what just happened but the feelings are indeed different after I have cum.

I find being very British about it usually does the trick. Stiff upper lip and all that.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

ive never experienced this in a club and never hang around long enough to know if their feeling guilty or not

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

I can't really help with the original question, but there are biochemical reasons for these kinds of feelings. People can experience a drop on serotonin after orgasm which can cause a drop in mood. Men also release prolactin which can cause a depressed mood and for some men, make them feel kind of disgusted at the idea of sex.

No need to shame the OP.

I was on the receiving end of this at a meet once (and probably along with lots of guilt and shame around his sexual habits) and he didn't handle it well. It ended up being a pretty awful experience

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I can't really help with the original question, but there are biochemical reasons for these kinds of feelings. People can experience a drop on serotonin after orgasm which can cause a drop in mood. Men also release prolactin which can cause a depressed mood and for some men, make them feel kind of disgusted at the idea of sex.

No need to shame the OP.

I was on the receiving end of this at a meet once (and probably along with lots of guilt and shame around his sexual habits) and he didn't handle it well. It ended up being a pretty awful experience "

Wow, very interesting.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

"I think the op needs to be aware of other people's feelings as well as his own and modify his behaviour to minimise any I'll effects , selfish people don't do well in the lifestyle

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