FabSwingers.com forum: Turning people down

By *tewartandJill OP Couple
over a year ago

Dewsbury

Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

very simple, thank you, but no thank you, then BLOCK! so as not to get into a never ending conversation as to why not!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

Sadly i think you're damned whatever approach you take, i certainly prefer a polite "not my type" but i think given how awful so many guys seem to be you may be best taking the easy option of delete and block, it pains me to say that but totally get why most choose that option.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

Yep this is what we usually say too. Most just reply saying thank you for the message. Some just block you straight away. Very rare genuine couples ask for reasons. When people ask for reasons that’s when I use the block button!

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me

If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us

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By *tewartandJill OP Couple
over a year ago

Dewsbury

Yes, we've tried being polite with people, and then been harassed so had to block. We've also tried ignoring (which we don't really like doimg) and a few people keep messaging over and over!

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By *tewartandJill OP Couple
over a year ago

Dewsbury

"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me

If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us"

Our profile does have a specific which some people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me

If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us

Our profile does have a specific which some people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do... "

If they ignore it ignore their message, you owe them nothing.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that

Whinge over

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

"It depends on the message if it is someone who has clearly not read my profile, I do reply saying my profile says the opposite of what you have messaged me

If it is meet me now I just block and delete and if someone who is nice I the message, I respond with I meet in clubs says hello if you ever see us

Our profile does have a specific which some

people clearly ignore. It's a minefield, knowing what to do... "

I have just told someone they haven’t read my profile. I just delete

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Just say politely that you don't feel you're compatible. Don't give excuses or try to let them down lightly. Polite honesty is the best way. Don't enter into conversation about why either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair I ignore, no answer is an answer. It seems brutal but I have found from past experiences some people get snarky no matter how polite and gentle you are. I have no problem being ignored, others should not either

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."

I think we should do this, had 2 occasions now where we were very polite about saying no only to get abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ignore them

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that

Whinge over

That's not on, especially sending a friend request. Talk about mixed messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

This is the best way as you don't get mixed signals .. I then put a note on their account that I'm not what they're looking for.. saves me messaging again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."

I've learnt over the years, you can't win either way....

I've replied politely and got abuse back.. Some guys prefer no reply, rather than a "sorry your not my type".

We are not attracted to everyone that crosses are path, it works both ways... But some folk really struggle with that.

So just reply with what works best for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No thanks, I don't think you're my type"

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Just be honest and upfront.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that

Whinge over

I fabbed a few recent uploaded pics and received a message saying thanks yours are nice. I replied with cheers and said yours are slightly better or something.

Despite blocking me... I was told not to contact again as my ego was too big - theirs were better pics.

I am still working it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a polite not my type or no thank you.

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

Treat everyone with as much respect as you offer...

I recieve quite a lot of messages and try to get back to as many as possible. Sometimes no upsets them but largely they are a good bunch and blocking is a rarity.

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By *ittlecoupleCouple
over a year ago

Oxford

We try to politely reply to every message but some guys make this really difficult.

They say something stupid, crass and crude, one word, or start sweatily telling us about their fantasy to fuck her, ignoring it’s a couple’s account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We try to politely reply to every message but some guys make this really difficult.

They say something stupid, crass and crude, one word, or start sweatily telling us about their fantasy to fuck her, ignoring it’s a couple’s account."

That’s why we do not reply any more. We state that openly on profile, no response means no thanks. We state we accept the same, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x

This is the best way as you don't get mixed signals .. I then put a note on their account that I'm not what they're looking for.. saves me messaging again "

I do this

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that

Whinge over

That's not on, especially sending a friend request. Talk about mixed messages

They only want me for my body, it’s the face that must put em off

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman
over a year ago

Windsor-ish

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"
^^^ this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s hard to know what to do for the best when you first join but there’s some great advice on this thread.

One important thing to remember, you’re on here to have fun so do what’s best for you as a couple and don’t let others spoil that. x

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Genrally a policy of polite, honest but clear no thanks. Dont need to go into the ins and outs of why not. I think most people are perfectly ok about that and just glad you messaged them back and thus avoiding any wasted energies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

Same here x

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I say.....

‘You are not quite what I am looking for but good luck on here’.

Then I block so paths aren’t crossed in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to be polite and say Don’t think we will click so happy fabbing x

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By *imAndHerKentCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

This is what we do. Ninety nine percent of people respect that; the 1% who don't and are either rude or start pleading (yes really) get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say sorry not what I'm looking for at this moment , then they reply what are you looking for . I say not you , then block

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"
Exactly this.

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By *essica jamiesonWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Yesterday, exchanged a few nice messages and accepted a friend request, went back for a peek later and I’m blocked. Call me fussy but I’m generally not a huge fan of being turned down like that

Whinge over

"
The person obv changed their mind which is fine! No one owes anyone anything,

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

However you choose...whether its polite message, block or delete

Communicate it clearly

You cant blame anyone for not understanding your thoughts if you don't communicate them.

As for... "in the past people where rude when they where rejected, so now I'm rude now to everyone in the future"... wow!

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By *atonMan
over a year ago

barnet

Just ignore ..dont do the Roman empress sorry not my type response. Disingenuous and faux attempt at manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following this thread for tips

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By *p230Man
over a year ago

Warwickshire

Just a polite " I'm currently meeting with someone else" is an easy way out.

It's never nice for someone's ego to be let down but a polite message always helps x

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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

Just be honest and explain that there is no attraction based on any message and photos supplied so far.

We do use Block quite ruthlessly now, but really as a means to hide profiles that have no appeal to us. It's enough to just try and keep up with responding, without having to explain explicitly, or receive messages frommprofiles that have looked at you but you know dont interest you.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Just a polite " I'm currently meeting with someone else" is an easy way out.

If you've put a meet up, you can still get more messages from the same person. I often use I have friends around, family coming but still get 'when are they leaving etc..' whereupon I'm often waiting for the right person to contact or a reply from a message I've sent.

Generally these days I'll delete their message or ignore it, can't be bothered to get in some sort of dialogue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally start by thanking them for their message and compliments and then explain they are not what I am looking for.

It costs nothing to be nice and curtious x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st message don't respond if guy/CPL fit into criteria

2nd message "No Thanks"

3rd message use your imagination and option available n Fab

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."

Be polite, honest and wish them happy swinging. If they are polite as well, they will accept it.

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By *p230Man
over a year ago

Warwickshire

"Just a polite " I'm currently meeting with someone else" is an easy way out.

Generally these days I'll delete their message or ignore it, can't be bothered to get in some sort of dialogue."

Unfortunately some peoe are extremely thick skinned & can't take a hint, that's when you have to use the block option.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

An honest conversation is best ... we like people being candid. If you can't be open and free about this scene .. it is a bit sad.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Hi, is there particular etiquette for turning people down who contact you but don't fit what you're looking for? New to this and don't know what to do for the best."

We usually just say "thanks for the interest but you're not what we're looking for" and with them all the best. Nobody yet has ever responded with a rude comment.

A few people have asked why, and we will generally explain nicely.

Cal

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By *s.FrostWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You will get really tired of being nice and responding to everyone.

Block and delete.

Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us chaps on here need to understand that we outnumber the women by 100's to 1.

Rejection is very common and needs to be respected. Politeness and good conduct will get you a lot further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We normally just say not what we're looking for but happy swinging x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

send a nice no message, then block, its the only way

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We tend to just not reply. Since blocking single men we haven't really had many issues with this!! We've had loads of couples wink us first or reply to a wink but when we message they delete!! Not sure what that's all about??

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