FabSwingers.com forum: Can anyone help me?

By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

My boyfriend and I are a couple on FAB and have been together over 3 years. We are in love. Sex and our chemistry are amazing and we meet each other 2 to 3 times a week and go on holidays together etc. We have so much fun and also enjoy MMF and clubs. We are best friends it is more than just sex... Yet he needs to see other women... so we have an open relationship agreeent where he can have 1 meet a month and we discuss them. He would also love to do a couples meet and FFM with me. My problem is I find it very difficult to cope with him kissing and having sex with other women. Especially when sometimes they are not FAB meets. These meets are ladies to whome he is messaging all the time and meeting every say 3 months. They usually want more but he does not want that and they often turn pysco despite him telling them this from the start. It is making me very upset and stressed. It is breaking my heart. Yes we have talked lots but I need help coping. Any advice

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You don't need help coping. You need to discuss this with your boyfriend and come to some compromise. If he's unable to live without seeing other women then it's possible that you're not right for each other.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

You and him need to sit down and discuss these issues.

Asking random strangers on here isn't going to get you anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I didn’t like something, my partner wouldn’t be doing it.

Not in a controlling way - but swinging and relationships in general have boundaries, rules etc. And we as a couple set them. We BOTH need to be happy. If I wasn’t happy with one aspect, we’d talk about it, and either come up with an alternative, stop altogether, or I’d leave the relationship.

Does he really *need* to sleep with other people?

In all honesty I wouldn’t be putting up with it, if it’s breaking your heart and you’ve told him that, and he’s still doing it...he clearly doesn’t care. I’d leave.

I hope it works out for you.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Difficult, but walk away. There are others out there who will appreciate you.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

If it's breaking your heart and he is allowed one meet a month, this sounds like swinging is not for you.

If you are not happy with how this makes you feel, you need to talk things through. Maybe have a break from both of you swinging and check if this relationship is right for you both.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Sadly he does seem to "need" to see other women and knows it upsets me. He is wired differently to most other peoole I know. We talk and talk. I know he loves me and does not want to loose me. So I need to try to cope or loose my best friend and lover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly he does seem to "need" to see other women and knows it upsets me. He is wired differently to most other peoole I know. We talk and talk. I know he loves me and does not want to loose me. So I need to try to cope or loose my best friend and lover. "

If he didn’t want to lose you, he wouldn’t be doing something that upsets you. You’re allowing him to walk all over you.

Walk away. It’s not worth all this hurt.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I walked away last week after a meet he had and it felt like my life was over. I was so upset. Nobody has ever made me feel as happy as he makes me nor made love to me as he does. We talked and I said I would give it another go but really don't know how to cope. Yes I know this is swinging and he loves and wants me and not them but it is difficult.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

"If I didn’t like something, my partner wouldn’t be doing it.

Does he really *need* to sleep with other people?

In all honesty I wouldn’t be putting up with it, if it’s breaking your heart and you’ve told him that, and he’s still doing it...he clearly doesn’t care. I’d leave.

I hope it works out for you. "
.

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He knows you have allowed it / put up with it and so far are still with so why will he give it up now as for him there's no consequences.

Stand firm if ita breaking your heart then swinging / sharing is not for you. Be strong give him an ultimatum its just you or he looses you.

If he truly loves you he will pick you instantly x

Good luck x

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

Awww hun poor u hugs ... this is why I would never meet a couple... Hope ur ok OP x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Ok. You're choosing to accept his behaviour, he isn't wired differently nobody 'needs' to sleep with other women they might want to but need? no. If you genuinely want to remain in this relationship with a man who quite frankly is taking the Mickey you need to harden your heart, make sure you're fully occupied when he's seeing his other partners so you don't brood and set clearly defined limits eg no messaging or encouraging these women to think there's more to it because despite his protests he is, one woman turning up shouting is one thing but all of them is more than coincidence.

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By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

i agree he needs to be given an ultimatum if he loves you he will stop and focus on you n hin

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So how happy do you feel right now? You said your heart was breaking. You might think I'm being harsh but you need to step back and see this for what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That isn’t swinging. Swinging shouldn’t make you feel shit. Swinging should make all parties happy, comfortable, and relaxed.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

It sounds like you are in this just to please him. You have a couples profile but with no photos, veri’s or information - which suggests you’re not really looking for meets. You say you can’t stand him being with other women, so I assume you don’t do couples swaps either.

I get the feeling that you are not at all into swinging & would prefer a monogamous relationship with him.

You need to have a conversation with him. If he is a swinger & wouldn’t be happy being monogamous, and you can’t be happy in a swinging relationship, then it may be you need to call it a day.

But you need to have a totally frank and honest discussion

Good luck x

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

"My boyfriend and I are a couple on FAB and have been together over 3 years. We are in love. Sex and our chemistry are amazing and we meet each other 2 to 3 times a week and go on holidays together etc. We have so much fun and also enjoy MMF and clubs. We are best friends it is more than just sex... Yet he needs to see other women... so we have an open relationship agreeent where he can have 1 meet a month and we discuss them. He would also love to do a couples meet and FFM with me. My problem is I find it very difficult to cope with him kissing and having sex with other women. Especially when sometimes they are not FAB meets. These meets are ladies to whome he is messaging all the time and meeting every say 3 months. They usually want more but he does not want that and they often turn pysco despite him telling them this from the start. It is making me very upset and stressed. It is breaking my heart. Yes we have talked lots but I need help coping. Any advice"

You've mentioned you do clubs and mmfs.

So do you have sex with men solo too? Do you kiss them?

You're uncomfortable with him having sex with other women but you are having other men as you've stated mmfs.

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you. It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men.

As for other women wanting more thats for him to deal with. In open relationship have you both discussed polygamy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello.

Has he given you a reason why he ‘needs’ to see/meet other women?

I notice there is a 15 year age gap. That is not a problem, there is almost ten between me and hubby.

But...I know that friends of ours, females in particular, have lost their libido around same age as you. I am NOT SAYING you have, or that EVERY WOMAN does. It may be that he feels you have ‘gone off the boil’, and thinks meeting other women, will be his salvation.

As said by the others on here, you need to step back from Fans, sit down with him, and maybe a counsellor, and get to the bottom of this.

Or, just cut your losses, walk away.

Easier said than done, I know.

Hope you get sorted quickly.

Good luck.

Vamp x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You enjoy MMF and clubs. How does he feel about the MMFs. Does it bother him seeing you with other men? And just asking. Before anyone starts having a go. It really bothers me if my fb has meets without me.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Obviously communication between you is key, so that you can share and agree how you relate with each other and with others. It's good that you have rules, albeit the people he's picking seeming to be predictably troublesome.

It strikes me that you personally need to determine what your mutual rules need to be, to provide you with more comfort and confidence that this is right for you.

It could appear that you are presently sacrificing a lot, for very little in return, potentially other than retaining him. If he couldn't be in a relationship with you, if he lost his ability to have sex with others, ot may not bode well for the relationship. Great relationships can obviously work of open but fundamentally are secured by the core bonds between you - with others adding supplementary satisfaction, with a lifestyle interest.

Your core relationship would ideally be strong but this appears in jeopardy, perhaps as he's not giving it enough serious consideration as he ER embarks on choosing who he's fucking.

Refocus on your basics - what you want and need from a relationship, making sure you are not settling for second best. If you continue with just small adjustments, negotiatethem and keep this subject to review.

If your wellbeing.is too impacted now, consider a suspension of what you don't want.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"It sounds like you are in this just to please him. You have a couples profile but with no photos, veri’s or information - which suggests you’re not really looking for meets. You say you can’t stand him being with other women, so I assume you don’t do couples swaps either.

I get the feeling that you are not at all into swinging & would prefer a monogamous relationship with him.

You need to have a conversation with him.

I have taken the photos veris and information off pur profile while I rethink the situation. We have MMF meets mainly and he loves them and loves watching me with another man. His dream is for us to have FFM and couple swaps.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

You've mentioned you do clubs and mmfs.

So do you have sex with men solo too? Do you kiss them?

I have never had sex with another chap from FAB without Frankie being there. I dont kiss other men no. If I had a fAB meet solo and had sex he would be upset. I pointed this out last week and he said he would not like it.

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

You've mentioned you do clubs and mmfs.

So do you have sex with men solo too? Do you kiss them?

When i say men I mean men in general not just men off fab. As you've pointed out he's not having sex with women off fab either but finding them else where. You make a point that you aren't having sex with men off fab so I'd assume you're finding sex with men else where also.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Hello.

Has he given you a reason why he ‘needs’ to see/meet other women?

This is not the case with me....he calls me a sex bomb. I love sex and it is more he cant keep up with me not the other way around. Sex together is absolutely amazing we both love it. When he meets the other non FAB women he often comments that they just lay there and dont even orgasm, sex is totally different with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't need help coping. You need to discuss this with your boyfriend and come to some compromise. If he's unable to live without seeing other women then it's possible that you're not right for each other."

Exactly

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By *sk for chatMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Same question I ask a lot ....a lot of respectable people out there....for some reason as human beings we seem to be attracted to opposites ...I think maybe you have more of an understanding of the situation you both put yourself in ....that’s why you seem to come out worse off ..find someone who understands and respects that x

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

You've mentioned you do clubs and mmfs.

So do you have sex with men solo too? Do you kiss them?

I would actually prefer he meets with FAB ladies because they know the score. He spends a lot of time trying to organise meets with them but actual meets are very rare. That is when he goes for a normal lady as a meet.

No I dont meet with non FAB men either.

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By *sk for chatMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Only trying to lighten the mood ...what the hells “normal “ ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he’s had several women want more and go ‘psycho’ on him it sounds like he’s not being particularly cleat about what he’s offering

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By *he James gangCouple
over a year ago

NEWTOWNABBEY

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

There is a mismatch here in what you both want from a relationship. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to sleep with other people. And there is nothing wrong in wanting a totally monogomus relationship. Or anything in between like soft swap, non swap etc. But what is important is your both happy with the format. In this case it sounds like neither of you are and neither of you should have to budge or compromise unless completely happy. Sometimes we can find Mr/Mrs Nearly Right, but that is not the same as Mr/Mrs Right. By the sounds of this sadly this is a fundamental Mis match in your relationship which ultimately means it won't work. At the end of the day both of you should be with someone who accepts, supports and is happy with the way you truly are. I would suggest your both better off with different people.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hello.

Has he given you a reason why he ‘needs’ to see/meet other women?

Really! He can't keep up with you but needs sex with other women who despite his prowess as a lover just lay there without reaching a climax.

If your friend was telling you this about her partner what would you think?

There's no way to say this kindly, he's having you on and taking you for a mug. I'm sorry to be harsh but it won't help you in any way to sort this out otherwise.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry...sex and relationship advice...and using the phrase ‘tit for tat’....

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

"Sorry...sex and relationship advice...and using the phrase ‘tit for tat’....

What's wrong with using the phrase. It means if you do something the other person can do it equally in return here. What ever it may be.

You eat my cake then il eat yours.

It may be a different term for you.

But where I live people even use terms of endearment in greetings to complete strangers as the norm.

Local idioms and phrases aren't always the same as other areas.

But I'm sure you understood it's meaning.

It's quite the perfect expression here. If one gets to fuck around then so should the other get to. It's only fair. Equal measures.

Same with the way I treat anal sex, you wanna fuck my ass then I'm fucking yours too. Tit for tat.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sorry...sex and relationship advice...and using the phrase ‘tit for tat’....

What's wrong with using the phrase. It means if you do something the other person can do it equally in return here. What ever it may be.

You eat my cake then il eat yours.

It may be a different term for you.

But where I live people even use terms of endearment in greetings to complete strangers as the norm.

Local idioms and phrases aren't always the same as other areas.

But I'm sure you understood it's meaning.

It's quite the perfect expression here. If one gets to fuck around then so should the other get to. It's only fair. Equal measures.

Same with the way I treat anal sex, you wanna fuck my ass then I'm fucking yours too. Tit for tat."

I don't think that tit for tat applies in sexual relationships because everyone has different desires.

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By *rotica OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Hello.

He can't keep up with you but needs sex with other women who despite his prowess as a lover just lay there without reaching a climax.

If your friend was telling you this about her partner what would you think?

There's no way to say this kindly, he's having you on and taking you for a mug. I'm sorry to be harsh but it won't help you in any way to sort this out otherwise.

Good luck."

It is the chase he likes. His choice in women is large motherly ladies over 40 and most seem to have been single for a long time. Many are over 50 or older. I actually believe him when he says they did not climax cos we talk about what he can do to make them. Also I have seen pics and met some of them and sexy is not a word I would use to describe most of them. The FAB ladies are completely different....sex has been good with them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hello.

He can't keep up with you but needs sex with other women who despite his prowess as a lover just lay there without reaching a climax.

If your friend was telling you this about her partner what would you think?

There's no way to say this kindly, he's having you on and taking you for a mug. I'm sorry to be harsh but it won't help you in any way to sort this out otherwise.

Good luck.

So not only is he disrespectful towards your feelings you're both disrespectful to the women he's using for sex.

I guess the two of you do what you need to get along.

I hope you manage to resolve things in a way that suits you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry...sex and relationship advice...and using the phrase ‘tit for tat’....

What's wrong with using the phrase. It means if you do something the other person can do it equally in return here. What ever it may be.

You eat my cake then il eat yours.

It may be a different term for you.

But where I live people even use terms of endearment in greetings to complete strangers as the norm.

Local idioms and phrases aren't always the same as other areas.

But I'm sure you understood it's meaning.

It's quite the perfect expression here. If one gets to fuck around then so should the other get to. It's only fair. Equal measures.

Same with the way I treat anal sex, you wanna fuck my ass then I'm fucking yours too. Tit for tat.

I don't think that tit for tat applies in sexual relationships because everyone has different desires. "

Obviously, my feeble attempt at humour, has shot way over the ‘cliques’ narrow minds....

I am FULLY aware of its meaning and usage...however, using the term ‘tit’ on a sex site....maybe my level of humour is totally different to everyone elses’....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sorry...sex and relationship advice...and using the phrase ‘tit for tat’....

What's wrong with using the phrase. It means if you do something the other person can do it equally in return here. What ever it may be.

You eat my cake then il eat yours.

It may be a different term for you.

But where I live people even use terms of endearment in greetings to complete strangers as the norm.

Local idioms and phrases aren't always the same as other areas.

But I'm sure you understood it's meaning.

It's quite the perfect expression here. If one gets to fuck around then so should the other get to. It's only fair. Equal measures.

Same with the way I treat anal sex, you wanna fuck my ass then I'm fucking yours too. Tit for tat.

I don't think that tit for tat applies in sexual relationships because everyone has different desires.

Obviously, my feeble attempt at humour, has shot way over the ‘cliques’ narrow minds....

I am FULLY aware of its meaning and usage...however, using the term ‘tit’ on a sex site....maybe my level of humour is totally different to everyone elses’...."

Clique? Narrow mind?

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By *pitfiremk10Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

If he didn’t want to lose you, he wouldn’t be doing something that upsets you. You’re allowing him to walk all over you.

Walk away. It’s not worth all this hurt. "

THIS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello.

Has he given you a reason why he ‘needs’ to see/meet other women?

Really! He can't keep up with you but needs sex with other women who despite his prowess as a lover just lay there without reaching a climax.

If your friend was telling you this about her partner what would you think?

There's no way to say this kindly, he's having you on and taking you for a mug. I'm sorry to be harsh but it won't help you in any way to sort this out otherwise.

Good luck."

This is totally right. He's using swinging as an excuse for being a dick. This isn't at all what swinging is about. Run away as fast as you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should."

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men.

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men. "

What if he wanted play with women?

But you don't like it but you get to have your fun.

Is he a cuck? Do you like to degrade and humiliate him. Shove it in his face you get fucked by those men?

Wouldn't you like to see him pleasured by another woman or is it jealousy? Thoughts of will he like her more than you?

If he wants to be a cuck fair enough it's his sexual desire. But if he's not having sex with other women because you're jealous well is that fair?

He trusts you and loves you but shouldn't it be fair?

If he desires sex with other women shouldn't you trust him enough that he will come back to you.

Relationships are compromises and reciprocity. Foundation of trust, rules and boundaries. If you love someone enough you'd want to make sure they are happy as well as yourself.

Jealousy is a selfish emotion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men.

What if he wanted play with women?

But you don't like it but you get to have your fun.

Is he a cuck? Do you like to degrade and humiliate him. Shove it in his face you get fucked by those men?

Wouldn't you like to see him pleasured by another woman or is it jealousy? Thoughts of will he like her more than you?

If he wants to be a cuck fair enough it's his sexual desire. But if he's not having sex with other women because you're jealous well is that fair?

He trusts you and loves you but shouldn't it be fair?

If he desires sex with other women shouldn't you trust him enough that he will come back to you.

Relationships are compromises and reciprocity. Foundation of trust, rules and boundaries. If you love someone enough you'd want to make sure they are happy as well as yourself.

Jealousy is a selfish emotion.

You are totally missing the point. Its not about jealousy its about what turns each of us on.

Hes turned on by seeing me with another man so when we have that meet we are both enjoying it.

Im not turned on by seeing him with another woman, I can take it or leave it.

He would never push me to do something that wasnt fun for us both because he couldn't enjoy it if I wasn't.

We have a great relationship because we have found something we both like to do. You are not understanding how much some men enjoy seeing their partner pleasured by another man. He loves it more than me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men.

What if he wanted play with women?

But you don't like it but you get to have your fun.

Is he a cuck? Do you like to degrade and humiliate him. Shove it in his face you get fucked by those men?

Wouldn't you like to see him pleasured by another woman or is it jealousy? Thoughts of will he like her more than you?

If he wants to be a cuck fair enough it's his sexual desire. But if he's not having sex with other women because you're jealous well is that fair?

He trusts you and loves you but shouldn't it be fair?

If he desires sex with other women shouldn't you trust him enough that he will come back to you.

Relationships are compromises and reciprocity. Foundation of trust, rules and boundaries. If you love someone enough you'd want to make sure they are happy as well as yourself.

Jealousy is a selfish emotion.

You are totally missing the point. Its not about jealousy its about what turns each of us on.

Hes turned on by seeing me with another man so when we have that meet we are both enjoying it.

Im not turned on by seeing him with another woman, I can take it or leave it.

He would never push me to do something that wasnt fun for us both because he couldn't enjoy it if I wasn't.

Sounds like our relationship. It doesn’t turn me on whatsoever him sleeping with someone else. And he doesn’t want to sleep with anyone else.

Should he do it just because he likes me sleeping with other men? Tit for tat, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men.

What if he wanted play with women?

But you don't like it but you get to have your fun.

Is he a cuck? Do you like to degrade and humiliate him. Shove it in his face you get fucked by those men?

Wouldn't you like to see him pleasured by another woman or is it jealousy? Thoughts of will he like her more than you?

If he wants to be a cuck fair enough it's his sexual desire. But if he's not having sex with other women because you're jealous well is that fair?

He trusts you and loves you but shouldn't it be fair?

If he desires sex with other women shouldn't you trust him enough that he will come back to you.

Relationships are compromises and reciprocity. Foundation of trust, rules and boundaries. If you love someone enough you'd want to make sure they are happy as well as yourself.

Jealousy is a selfish emotion.

You are totally missing the point. Its not about jealousy its about what turns each of us on.

Hes turned on by seeing me with another man so when we have that meet we are both enjoying it.

Im not turned on by seeing him with another woman, I can take it or leave it.

He would never push me to do something that wasnt fun for us both because he couldn't enjoy it if I wasn't.

Sounds like our relationship. It doesn’t turn me on whatsoever him sleeping with someone else. And he doesn’t want to sleep with anyone else.

Should he do it just because he likes me sleeping with other men? Tit for tat, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More likely than not you guys are probably more suited as good friends. I’ve been in his and your situation once or twice before and it’s uncomfortable for everyone even if it’s only one person that’s not happy with the current arrangement.

What also highlights this is the fact you said you’ve talked lots yet there’s still no common ground and you’re still unhappy enough to ask strangers for advice.

You will NEVER be happy with this situation and like others have said you need to seek to draw this to a close and find somebody that’s actually more suited to you and YOUR needs.

Don’t compromise for anyone. If you have to then they aren’t worth your time or you’re not compatible.

I wish you the best of luck and happiness x

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

In your relationship you need to discuss boundaries for the both of you.

Absolutely agree with this. As a couple you need to talk and talk and then talk some more to establish your boundaries.

However..

It has to be equal. Tit for tat. Would be unfair otherwise, can't expect him not to have sex with other women if you're having sex with other men

Totally disagree. The very idea that it would be ‘tit for tat’! I don’t want to offend, but I think that shows a complete misunderstanding of how swinging when in a couple works.

OP if you’re not happy it’s not right - simple.

Jessy

I say tit for tat, cant expect one to have their cake and eat it and the other not.

If ones fucking around so should the other be allowed to.

Cant impose a rule you cant fuck around but I can, so its tit for tat. If one cant neither should.

This is rubbish. Its whatever BOTH are happy with. M likes me playing with men but I don't like him playing with women, so we play with men.

What if he wanted play with women?

But you don't like it but you get to have your fun.

Is he a cuck? Do you like to degrade and humiliate him. Shove it in his face you get fucked by those men?

Wouldn't you like to see him pleasured by another woman or is it jealousy? Thoughts of will he like her more than you?

If he wants to be a cuck fair enough it's his sexual desire. But if he's not having sex with other women because you're jealous well is that fair?

He trusts you and loves you but shouldn't it be fair?

If he desires sex with other women shouldn't you trust him enough that he will come back to you.

Relationships are compromises and reciprocity. Foundation of trust, rules and boundaries. If you love someone enough you'd want to make sure they are happy as well as yourself.

Jealousy is a selfish emotion.

You are totally missing the point. Its not about jealousy its about what turns each of us on.

Hes turned on by seeing me with another man so when we have that meet we are both enjoying it.

Im not turned on by seeing him with another woman, I can take it or leave it.

He would never push me to do something that wasnt fun for us both because he couldn't enjoy it if I wasn't.

Sounds like our relationship. It doesn’t turn me on whatsoever him sleeping with someone else. And he doesn’t want to sleep with anyone else.

Should he do it just because he likes me sleeping with other men? Tit for tat, eh?

I'm going from how she said I don't like him playing with other women so we play with men.

So few words but all I get from it is she controls his outlet for his desires.

If he's completely happy not having sex with other women thats his choice. But not having sex with other women because his missus doesn't like the idea but she can have sex with who she pleases, well says more about him than her. Putting her happiness before his own.

I do wonder if your other half ever turns round and says there's a woman he likes and interested in having sex with would you say yes? He may not have wanted it before but he's found someone that interests him.

I see a lot of these couples on here where either they only play with women or they only play with men. It usually boils down to the fact they can't stand seeing their partner with another. But they get to and their partner wholly supports them even if they don't get what they want. That's their sacrifice to make the one they care about happy.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Message some guys, text them all day and night, meet them when you do, then act all casual when they try and get more meets out of you.

Then say you are not going to meet them again but are messaging someone else the day after as you've had enough of them and will be meeting them in a month to see what they are like.