FabSwingers.com forum: Partner doesn't want sex

By *lwen OP Woman
over a year ago

De12 area

So my partner and I haven't had sex in months.. Everytime I come on to him I get pushed off or rejected in someway.. So last week while I was away visiting family he had a meet.. And another this evening with the same lady.. I've questioned him on why will he go out and have sex but not want it with me.. But I never get a straight answer.. Any advice??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is a real tricky one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"So my partner and I haven't had sex in months.. Everytime I come on to him I get pushed off or rejected in someway.. So last week while I was away visiting family he had a meet.. And another this evening with the same lady.. I've questioned him on why will he go out and have sex but not want it with me.. But I never get a straight answer.. Any advice?? "

Er.. because your doing exactly the same judging from your profile and veri’s.. maybe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JCouple
over a year ago

Teesside

Er.. because your doing exactly the same judging from your profile and veri’s.. maybe

Your both actively sleeping with other people it seems.... do you ever play together with other people? E.g threesomes, foursomes etc?

KJ x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lwen OP Woman
over a year ago

De12 area

Er.. because your doing exactly the same judging from your profile and veri’s.. maybe

My last meet for sex was November.. The rest have been social meets.. And that's when I last had sex.. If I'm not getting it at home I don't go else where... Unlike my partner who has had several meets since then.. I just quoted the last 2 meets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lwen OP Woman
over a year ago

De12 area

Er.. because your doing exactly the same judging from your profile and veri’s.. maybe

Your both actively sleeping with other people it seems.... do you ever play together with other people? E.g threesomes, foursomes etc?

KJ x"

I've suggested meeting other couples or bringing in another person but he's not interested.. And I'm currently not active sexually

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Er.. because your doing exactly the same judging from your profile and veri’s.. maybe

There has to be a reason he has stopped having sex with you. Personally if i was in your situation I would want to know why. How you get him to tell you why is the difficult bit. Tell him you want to have a good chat about your relationship and where you stand right now. Tell him you are no longer going to accept a sexless relationship. Tell him being rejected hurts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is the relationship good despite the lack of sex?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hezuMan
over a year ago

East London

Maybe he knows something about you that you ain't told him so he's waiting to hear that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

It not really a great place to be, but was the drop off in sex before or after you started swinging?

I would be inclined to think that he is wanting something different or may have wanted to move on, but hard to know without more history.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's only one way to find out and that's by talking. If he won't then you will need to either wait until he's ready to or force the issue. Maybe discuss the possibility that having sex with other women will be off the table until he feels able to talk openly with you about your sexual relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's only one way to find out and that's by talking. If he won't then you will need to either wait until he's ready to or force the issue. Maybe discuss the possibility that having sex with other women will be off the table until he feels able to talk openly with you about your sexual relationship."

I’d definitely be hiding my profile, ensuring he did the same, and focused on our relationship first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a couples profile on here, maybe he's been seeing that woman a while and has only let on its twice?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

I’d definitely be hiding my profile, ensuring he did the same, and focused on our relationship first. "

Mr here.

This is good advice above.

Is he swinging with consent? If you both play separately do you have to ask each other before each meet? If you don’t want him to and he still does, that’s just cheating, not swinging...

It’s very hard to help without knowing you and your situation, but it’s also not something you can discuss with friends as they’ll then know you swing... so think about the history yourself. Did he start the swinging or you? (Ie did he just want to play away from home or does he now feel that you weren’t satisfied by him so he just doesn’t want to have sex with you at all now). Did swinging ever work? Did you have reclaim sex for example, or just both fuck others and not benefit from it with heightened sexual experiences as a couple?

Talking is key though. Try to talk at a normal time of day maybe rather than when in bed where he may feel you’re trying to convince him to have sex instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Hopefully you find a solution soon xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this odd, 8years relationship,then moved in together and had less sex.though you did say 4weeks ago that u were both meeting others and were happy with this arrangement(greenarrowresearch

)

I dunno,sounds like a sexless arrangement and pointless to continue,one of you just has to man up n say it in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Do you love each other?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

I’d definitely be hiding my profile, ensuring he did the same, and focused on our relationship first. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west

Who was the one who first suggested joining fab and having single profiles?

Do you have/had a couples profile and activity used it together?

If you’ve never played as a couple, imho you arnt swingers, and that flags up questions of the motivation for why you both seek sex with others.

Personally I think you should both communicate and agree to both hide your profiles and find out the real reason you’re both here. Something is broken with the relationship and you need to find out if it’s fixable or not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread