FabSwingers.com forum: Change of mind

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does, or has, anyone ever gone for a meet, met the person and changed their minds?

We are very much a couple that wants to meet for a social first, so wouldn’t get naked without being sure, but I’m (Mrs) am nervous about the likelihood of a man saying ‘Naaaaaaaa, I’m outta here’ once we get down to the nitty gritty.

Does that happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure this happens all the time, hence why I prefer a simple no sex social thing first and foremost.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's yet to happen to me, and I think social first (and talking online beforehand) minimises it, but if you can imagine anything, it's probably happened here.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I've done it, in my early Fab days. Arranged to meet at a club. The reality did not match the carefully posed pics (Lesson learnt). Didn't reject her rudely and she had a great time with someone else. Win-win.

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Yes, happen to us a few times. We can’t all be everyone’s type.

What gets me the most is when I’m not there type because I’m larger which I state on the profile, but there interested in Mr. What they don’t realise is I love watching, and would gladly sit back and watch

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further. "

Great advice - thank you! X

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By *ambslass48Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Does, or has, anyone ever gone for a meet, met the person and changed their minds?

Does that happen? "

I only ever meet for a pure social meet first as if we don't click then no way I'm gonna shag em lol

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further. "

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to admit I've been to a meet and been told that I just wasn't her cup of tea. No worries, we can't all click, so I left on good terms. After I'd handed over a bottle of wine though hmmmmmm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/07/19 19:58:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually probably one of our least successful sexual encounters happened after we got on like a house on fire socially, there is no magic formula, sometimes we can be a bit not sure about people but give it a go and it’s dynamite and vice versa. Hence we don’t do social only meets anymore. We’ve walked away and not played with people a few times, they might have great veris and be hot, but they’ve been arseholes, not nice people and up themselves. Just annoying arseholes don’t do it for us

Sometimes doubts can just be nerves though

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By *ubsteffTV/TS
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I’ve been to a couple of meets where the person’s place has been dirty & a bit smelly and I thought if their place is like that what are they going to be like? Nope, I’m up and off.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

I've had fantastic socials and arranged a meet only to turn up and the vibe be totally wrong and I've said no thanks.

You're entitled to say no at any given point so don't be afraid to do so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had fantastic socials and arranged a meet only to turn up and the vibe be totally wrong and I've said no thanks.

You're entitled to say no at any given point so don't be afraid to do so

Agreed

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Yes OP.

I make sure I offer them drinks and some snacks (as a respite to their travel), chat a little and then, they are free to go.

No obligation.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I had three socials in a row where the man didnt want to take it any further. That's the point of a social !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea, we planned to meet a single guy for a drink and then back to his. When he arrived he looked different so left it at just drinks.

We felt bad for changing our minds so now we only meet for socials first then arrange a play meet after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet for social only first and it has happened when we didn't take things further. Also happened when the other party didn't take things further. It's all good and shouldn't be taken in a bad way. Anybody can change their mind at any time and that's OK.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does, or has, anyone ever gone for a meet, met the person and changed their minds?

Does that happen? "
yes it's the smell drives me nuts I think lavender or honeysuckle here I come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it’s happened on a few occasions. And I’m not ashamed to say a few times I’ve walked out of a bar or walked straight past someone when it turns out they look nothing like their photos. I don’t like deception and in those cases I think you’re well within your rights to change your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened in Gavin and Stacey.

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further. "

Excellent advice

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"I'm going to admit I've been to a meet and been told that I just wasn't her cup of tea. No worries, we can't all click, so I left on good terms. After I'd handed over a bottle of wine though hmmmmmm!

Went to a social and we got on very well.

She then told me later that she enjoyed my company but there wasn't a "spark".

No issues with that at all. Social meets help out that way for both partied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet socially first, did have a couple say no thanks the once , but that's cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further. "

Great advice!!! But I wouldn't discuss insecurity/fears with a stranger (meeting with a stranger is an intrinsic risk) I don't want to be an open book

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further.

Great advice!!! But I wouldn't discuss insecurity/fears with a stranger (meeting with a stranger is an intrinsic risk) I don't want to be an open book "

I read it as relatee to the meet, not sharing personal information

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further.

Great advice!!! But I wouldn't discuss insecurity/fears with a stranger (meeting with a stranger is an intrinsic risk) I don't want to be an open book

I read it as relatee to the meet, not sharing personal information "

I am not sure in first meeting anyone would say, hey I am a bit insecure with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've met socially first them I think the likelihood of that happening is going to be very slim.

Discuss any insecurities, fears or concerns during you're social - if he, she or they don't make you feel 100% secure, take it no further. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does that happen? "

Had the no spark thing happen both ways. Were all adults so its just part of everyday interaction.

Club meets are far easier as its easy to step apart and still have fun with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once legged it from a social as soon as I saw the bloke, he wasn't from Fab though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s why we find clubs great places to meet - there’s no pressure - can meet face to face “socially”’ and if you don’t click then there are other options for everybody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve declined on a few occasions; I got to meets having exchanged pics and they hadn’t been honest, the pics, if they were them, were from a decade at least earlier.

The only other time was a very attractive lady whose house was absolutely disgusting, I didn’t want to sit down let alone get into a bed.

Clubs are the way to go, see what’s on offer, they can see you; if you don’t float each other’s boats easy to move on.

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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

We always insist on a social first, to have a no expectations drink and relaxed chat and see if there is any attraction. We have decided at that stage that we then dont want to pursue to playing but never once everyone has decided there is an attraction.

Going by your profile I can't imagine why you might be in that position. You look like the type of couple that would definitely interest us initially to want to meet socially. From what we can see so far you both look like regular normal attractive people.

We do find it very difficult to find couples where we both like the look of the lady and gent and we are still after that elusive mutual attraction all round.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

"Actually probably one of our least successful sexual encounters happened after we got on like a house on fire socially, there is no magic formula, sometimes we can be a bit not sure about people but give it a go and it’s dynamite and vice versa. Hence we don’t do social only meets anymore. We’ve walked away and not played with people a few times, they might have great veris and be hot, but they’ve been arseholes, not nice people and up themselves. Just annoying arseholes don’t do it for us

Sometimes doubts can just be nerves though"
a powerful post - reality that social is just that "a social" ... we find that the erotic is different ... people you get along with might be just not the people you desire for play; our experience from all nude sex spa in Madrid is that when you are in the sensual/sexy play space you can size up each other and take things forward or just say no thanks ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes doubts can just be nerves though a powerful post - reality that social is just that "a social" ... we find that the erotic is different ... people you get along with might be just not the people you desire for play; our experience from all nude sex spa in Madrid is that when you are in the sensual/sexy play space you can size up each other and take things forward or just say no thanks ... "
Well being naked gives you a more accurate perspective of whether you fancy a person sexually but a person who can comfortably converse with you naked and still be attractive even better

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I’ve met people where I think, just no chemistry. Which is why I like a social - just a social - first. It gives both parties the chance to walk away and say a sensitively thought out no thanks rather than turning them down at the door or saying in the car park sorry, I’m heading home alone!

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By *uto564Man
over a year ago

Widnes

Yes, if there’s no connection then it’s not going to be good. Hard as it is I have ended the night early before.

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

It's not happened to us but we haven't really had private meets mostly clubs and parties...

We've had people chat about meeting at said party but then nothing happens when we arrive. Just one of them things.

We won't be everyone's cup of tea!! We're not super models but we do dress smartly, shower, look after our appearance such as hair and make up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first meets are always 'socials' with the possibility of play on the first night. Most end up with play and some have turned into long term naughty friendships.

Yes some we don't click with or look NOTHING like their photos, we simply say something like 'lovely meeting you but sorry you're not for us'. Yes the odd one has done that to us too. Just head in there expecting nothing, it's a night out, if you all click you'll enjoy it even more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had it happen to us, first time round.

Sat in venue, waited...guy walks in, stands there, just says, “Fuck, she’s fat...and not that good looking, either”...and walked away.

Funny thing is, later in evening, after he had consumed a fair bit of alcohol, and had no luck elsewhere in club, he approached us, and was interested.

Errrr....no. Do one, pal....

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Recently had social with a guy went really well...though he consumed a fair bit of booze...anyway we went to ours for fun...oh yes he got it up & started fucking me then about 10 minutes in said he didn't like been "judged" & left....

no idea what he was on about...not like we had score cards or anything...

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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

No, as we always insist on a social first. If we don't click on a social then we will be polite in honest in explaining this. Attraction is a strange thing and you can't predict it. Sometimes it's difficult to even understand yourself why you might be attracted to someone you wouldn't have expected; often thought of as a guilty pleasure. Other times you aren't attracted to person that everyone else seems to think is very beautiful or sexy. It's a funny old thing.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

That's why clubs are best IMO. You can meet people face to face and get instant feel for them. It's nice and easy to change your mind and say it's a No. And if it's a no all's not a dead loss and there maybe others to meet in that club, so you can move on. Plus you may even be lucky enough to find more than one yes in the same night.

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