FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on what to say during a spanking session desired.

By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I have recently met with a lady who likes being spanked. it was a new experience for me, and I was a bit unsure about it at the start, but she seemed to really enjoy it and is keen for some more.

so my question to you all is ... what do you like being said during a spanking?

or, what do you like to say to the person being spanked while you're spanking them?

for context: the first time, we were spooning after sex, and as I was spanking her I kept telling her that she was mine, nobody elses, and she really loved that.

the 2nd time, again in a spooning position, I went over some ownership stuff again and also demanded she do certain things next time we meet (shave her pussy, wear some stockings, be a "good" girl, etc)and she really got off on that too.

I'm hoping to see her again soon and I don't want to keep repeating the same things over again , so I'm looking for advice on other things to say, or scenarios to play out while i'm spanking her.

and any advice you have for me greatly appreciated including... favourite positions for being spanked in, any actual tips for the physical mechanics of doing spanking right, does the sound of a good connection matter or is it more about the smidge of pain/dominance?

would love to hear any advice or tips from people who know. cheers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have recently met with a lady who likes being spanked. it was a new experience for me, and I was a bit unsure about it at the start, but she seemed to really enjoy it and is keen for some more.

so my question to you all is ... what do you like being said during a spanking?

or, what do you like to say to the person being spanked while you're spanking them?

for context: the first time, we were spooning after sex, and as I was spanking her I kept telling her that she was mine, nobody elses, and she really loved that.

I'm hoping to see her again soon and I don't want to keep repeating the same things over again , so I'm looking for advice on other things to say, or scenarios to play out while i'm spanking her.

would love to hear any advice or tips from people who know. cheers."

I'd punch you if you were to spank me AFTER sex. During sex is a different matter. Give your demands. Tell her she's a slut, a bad girl that needs spanking!

LOL - again, if you told me that I was yours, I'd not be very happy. I'm not anyones....

Just thought I'd give you my opinion and make a point that not everyone likes hearing the same stuff. What works for me, probably won't work for her and vice versa...

It's all about knowing the person you are with and experimenting.

x N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're drifting into SM as you seem the best idea is to discuss with the lady and find out what she enjoys about the experience

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I like to be spanked....but before sex, not afterwards when I'm in that contented bubble

As for what I like to be said to me ~ nothing in particular, sometimes nothing. But tbh I don't allow anyone to spank me until we know each other well, then I find he can read my body and go with my flow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have recently met with a lady who likes being spanked. it was a new experience for me, and I was a bit unsure about it at the start, but she seemed to really enjoy it and is keen for some more.

so my question to you all is ... what do you like being said during a spanking?

or, what do you like to say to the person being spanked while you're spanking them?

for context: the first time, we were spooning after sex, and as I was spanking her I kept telling her that she was mine, nobody elses, and she really loved that.

I'm hoping to see her again soon and I don't want to keep repeating the same things over again , so I'm looking for advice on other things to say, or scenarios to play out while i'm spanking her.

would love to hear any advice or tips from people who know. cheers."

Use good old fashioned role play Use your imagination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Ask her.

We all like it in different ways, some as a punishment, others as a reward... Some simply just like the sensation. There really isn't a one answer fits all for these things.

For me personally I like a combination of different dynamics with different people, and alot of the time I don't want to be spoken to whilst being spanked, other than to count the strikes.

It really is personal preference and she's the best person to tell you her likes/dislikes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, spanking is an experience on its own, I don't need or want anyone saying anything in particular. Maybe that I was a bad girl and that I deserve spanking, but nothing as heavy as 'you are mine and only mine' etc. I am my own person, I choose who I let to be intimate with me. But as one of the previous posters rightly said, ask the lady you are with. As she might be a sub and might be turned on by being told she's owned by you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met one "spanker" who made me tell him all the bad things I had done recently whilst he spanked my bum hard. It's a good job I am not meeting him anymore because I have done even more naughty bad things and my bum would be very red if i had to confess it to him xx

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'd punch you if you were to spank me AFTER sex.

x N"

Mental note (on the almost impossible chance that I manage to meet with you ...) DO NOT SPANK AFTER SEX !!!

LOL.

I take your point about what works for you may not work for her (post sex spanking for example, she really liked it!) and I was just asking others what they liked to get some ideas. I am very much looking forward to getting to know her more and exploring together and finding things out that way, just didn't want to let things get stale early on.

cheers.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Ouch !!

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"If you're drifting into SM as you seem the best idea is to discuss with the lady and find out what she enjoys about the experience

it does sound a bit like we have drifted into a (probably mild) bdsm situation (at least the dominance part of bdsm anyway.)

I have tried to talk about what she would like but as smart and articulate as she is about everything else seems to have real trouble being open about her desires in this regard.

I'm trying hard not to overstep the line, but I don't know where the line is.

is this part of the fun I suppose.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Some times the right thing to do is to say nothing at all when spanking . let your hands and probing fingers do the talking.Let her concentrate on her enjoyment

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I like to be spanked....but before sex, not afterwards when I'm in that contented bubble

we have known each other for over a year but mostly as flirty friends. only recently did we end up doing bedroom stuff, which was a surprise in itself, but to discover this was a genuine surprise too.

I did my best to listen to what her body was telling me, and it worked out well. wanting the next time to go well too.

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Use good old fashioned role play Use your imagination

I have an imagination and use it well and have a couple of my own ideas to run with. was just looking for top tips from other , more experienced people. like, what type of roll play works well?

I know what works well for others may not work well for us, but all advice welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're drifting into SM as you seem the best idea is to discuss with the lady and find out what she enjoys about the experience

it does sound a bit like we have drifted into a (probably mild) bdsm situation (at least the dominance part of bdsm anyway.)

I have tried to talk about what she would like but as smart and articulate as she is about everything else seems to have real trouble being open about her desires in this regard.

I'm trying hard not to overstep the line, but I don't know where the line is.

is this part of the fun I suppose."

Find out where that line is before you do anything else! So important to know what the other person's limits are!

As other's said, talk to her, ask her. We can't tell you what she'll like.

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

" ... a lot of the time I don't want to be spoken to whilst being spanked, other than to count the strikes.

this is a theme I'm picking up on. just being quiet and saying nothing.

I kinda though there had to be a story or something driving the spanking or explaining why shes being spanked.

new to me.

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"For me, spanking is an experience on its own, I don't need or want anyone saying anything in particular. Maybe that I was a bad girl and that I deserve spanking, but nothing as heavy as 'you are mine and only mine' etc. I am my own person, I choose who I let to be intimate with me. But as one of the previous posters rightly said, ask the lady you are with. As she might be a sub and might be turned on by being told she's owned by you. "

afterwards, when everything had settled down, I did say to her that I don't really own her at all, and that she is her own person and free to live her live how she wants. just to make sure she knew it was just sex talk and not real life talk.

she rolled over and said she knew that, and shes still mine.

turns out she is quite sub.

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By *iltonhayes OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I met one "spanker" who made me tell him all the bad things I had done recently whilst he spanked my bum hard. It's a good job I am not meeting him anymore because I have done even more naughty bad things and my bum would be very red if i had to confess it to him xx"

this sounds like fun. I might try this out.

thank you.

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