FabSwingers.com forum: advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Recently ive become involved in some NSA fun with a lovely girl however i sometimes struggle to climax, last a fair while and have a high drive, whereas she is used to quick frantic fumbles i guess and often complains shes getting sore way before ive even gotten close and it kind of ruins the experience for myself, ive tried lube, breaks and all sorts but as of yet still have not found a way round it. Any advice for a 25 year old still learning. It would be greatly appreciated.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

I know how it feels mate. I'm not a guy who finishes quickly either.

Don't put pressure on yourself and let your partner know before hand.

Turn a positive into a negative and be upfront.

I'll just tell people, I've got a lot of stamina and I don't cum very quickly, no one has ever had a problem with it.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

or rather turn a negative into a positive.**

haha my bad.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

At 25 you should be spraying it around fairly quickly. Don’t mean to worry you but could be worth getting it checked out at the doctors.

At my age it’s a different matter. However, there’s only so much shagging a girl can cope with before she gets bored and / or sore.

I’m dating a girl that gets really turned on watching me wank after we’ve been fucking, and I get turned on by performing for her. Last night just before I came she took me in her mouth and swallowed the lot.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Lube.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

Get a little vibe up your bum, a prostate massage will have you blowing all over

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

think i'd definately need to be eased into that, not a huge fan but open to anything

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My advice is to communicate with your partner. It's probably the way you've written it but it seems that you're concerned that it's ruining things for you when it's probably not great for her either.

Talk to her, find out what will work for you both. Use even more lube than you have already and reapply if needs be. Is there anything that gets you there more quickly? Is there something your partner could do that will help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

she enjoys it but feels like shes doing something wrong, which she isnt at all.

I was thinking of dabbling in tantric meditation or something just to maybe heighten things a little. Ive tried plenty of lube, but with too much lube i can sometimes lose sensation a little. obviously i guess it then plays on my mind and that doesnt help either.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"she enjoys it but feels like shes doing something wrong, which she isnt at all.

Yeah overthinking can make it worse. How about no penetration for a period of time. Just concentrate on foreplay together taking the time to find out what you both really like, this will take the pressure off you both and enable you to just relax and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate, if you think you have a medical problem you should of course get that checked out. Otherwise I wouldn’t worry so much, just relax and concentrate on giving your partner a great time. Once you get used to the situation mentally, then it’ll all come together (no pun intended, or maybe it was!)

I’m at the other end off the age spectrum and take medication to get it up. I often find it hard to climax, but I just ‘keep going’ and make sure my Lady is feeling satisfied, and then some. Often that gets me some special attention as a reward so it usually works out quite well.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

[Removed by poster at 12/07/19 15:14:43]

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Can take time to get used to having sex without being sore if you're not used to it. Lube won't help with that.

I'd probably concentrate more on foreplay. having sex more often (rather than for long periods) should help as well but dunno how you both feel about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know how it feels mate. I'm not a guy who finishes quickly either.

Don't put pressure on yourself and let your partner know before hand.

Turn a positive into a negative and be upfront.

I'll just tell people, I've got a lot of stamina and I don't cum very quickly, no one has ever had a problem with it. "

positive into a negative

could be interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"or rather turn a negative into a positive.**

haha my bad."

indeed it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Recently ive become involved in some NSA fun with a lovely girl however i sometimes struggle to climax, last a fair while and have a high drive, whereas she is used to quick frantic fumbles i guess and often complains shes getting sore way before ive even gotten close and it kind of ruins the experience for myself, ive tried lube, breaks and all sorts but as of yet still have not found a way round it. Any advice for a 25 year old still learning. It would be greatly appreciated."

hello OP

ever thought it could be due to medicatiion you might be on

tiredness

It's important to appreciate that the ability to 'come' is readily affected by a number of things – like how the person is feeling at the time, whether the atmosphere is erotic or romantic and whether the partner is skilled and loving. Bear these in mind

or if not talk to your partner first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worth getting it checked out at the docs. Contrary to popular belief, not many women who like to fuck for hours on end without a break and no orgasm from the partner. It’s very off putting. Personally prefer a quick cummer and enjoy the foreplay to a good round two

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely rag the shit out of her and wank on her face if you can't finish normally.

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

"she enjoys it but feels like shes doing something wrong, which she isnt at all.

Try not to get performance anxiety (both of you) just enjoy your intamacy and reassure her that making you cum is not essential and not coming is not an issult or criticism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For if it's personal questions but how much time are we talking + what kind of age is the woman?

It could be meds, also some guys actually can't cum at all simply because it's a psychological issue. They go half their life with many partners never having an orgasm, but can easily cum masturbating. When they find someone they truly feel comfortable with the flood gates open lol. It sounds like you are not comfortable to me so this is could be the problem. With guys like this it seems to go one of two ways, either they cum really quickly (minutes) or don't cum at all.

I know this might not sound good but it's better than having a physical medical problem

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Perhaps find a woman that prefers extended play.

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By *umKinkwithUsCouple
over a year ago

Camberley

What I (steve) do if I am taking too long and we need to finish is get Amie to finish me with a prostate/blowjob combination. This can be with fingers or toys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a few people have stated, if you take any form of ssid it can have that effect. I take Sertraline to help with my Fibromyalgia, and it makes it sometimes impossible to cum at all, even by myself. It's just something I accept. Drs have said it will fade in time as most side effects do.

It's definitely worth mentioning to a Dr because if it isn't down to medication then it's usually a psychological issue that causes it. I find as well that if I'm particularly anxious about a situation it rarely works at all!

J x

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