FabSwingers.com forum: Insecure cuckold in making?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I believe my hubby is a cuck but he doesn't know it. Yet. How do I get him to realize this and embrace it and start having fun as a couple with me instead of just feeling insecure about his inability to satisfy me penetration wise? (He's 15 years older and has ED). He knows I play single but doesn't want to hear the details. He adores me, is a great life partner and dad. But he's proud and insecure and a little asexual. It breaks my heart watching him beat himself up. And me totally at ease with my sexuality. Saw a therapist that suggested that swinging when one partner was that insecure wouldn't work but I have faith it could?

Would really love to hear from anyone that's taken this journey. Maybe even come meet them for a social with hubby to chat about it?

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Perhaps he only wants to enjoy it privately when you're not around

Continue to fuel his fantasies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/07/19 09:46:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for sounding dumb but what's ED?

So can he really not satisfy you? Because I've seen a lot of women say smaller guys can

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Sorry for sounding dumb but what's ED?

So can he really not satisfy you? Because I've seen a lot of women say smaller guys can"

Erectile dysfunction, sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband has ED but he's no cuck by any means. He has his own insecurities but we're working on them as a couple.

What makes you think yours is cuck?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry for sounding dumb but what's ED?

So can he really not satisfy you? Because I've seen a lot of women say smaller guys can"

He can't get a hardon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh right thanks.

Sorry I read this the wrong way x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe he isn't a cuck. But he wants to stay at home with kids making me breadwinner. Loves "serving" me eg dinner waiting for me every day, laundry done. Loves being submissive in bed eg face sitting. So it all points that way? Or am I being naive? he's also super confident outwardly, socially, has no issue being the man and owning his shit. So its mixed signals. Ah well, maybe this is too complex to chat about online? Just breaks my heart is all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he isn't a cuck. But he wants to stay at home with kids making me breadwinner. Loves "serving" me eg dinner waiting for me every day, laundry done. Loves being submissive in bed eg face sitting. So it all points that way? Or am I being naive? he's also super confident outwardly, socially, has no issue being the man and owning his shit. So its mixed signals. Ah well, maybe this is too complex to chat about online? Just breaks my heart is all"

I honestly think you're misreading him. My husband is stay at home dad, does cooking, cleaning, takes kids to school and back and sometimes would stand on a doorstep waiting to see me coming home from work. Yet he's no cuck.

Think you guys need a hearty long chat together although it may not be the right time yet. If his ED is a recent thing he needs time to come to terms with it first.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might not be cuck he might be into a Ds relationship serving you as his dominant.

Very complex area especially if he doesn't realise it himself. But I think salves (rather than submissives) often do not want sexual gratification in return, not in the normal sense anyway. Serving their mistress is a form of sexual gratification for them + sounds like he might crave a full time (24/7) Mistress/slave relationship rather than an in the bedroom only Dom/Sub one.

I am only shooting out ideas though

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Us blokes can't be great at everything and there must be lots of males who are not great at sex.

Talk to him about seeing his GP about counselling.

Best wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you guys need a hearty long chat together although it may not be the right time yet. If his ED is a recent thing he needs time to come to terms with it first.

Mrs "

And this is something I would suggest to do first.

One thing I can tell you, is that swinging is 100% open honesty + talking, no matter how upsetting etc it is... and often the conversation one or both of you need to have is x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/07/19 10:14:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks. He always tells me he's the happiest he's ever been with me and the kids. So maybe you're right. I shouldn't place my own expectations onto him. I guess I just don't like leaving him out of the fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does he want/have treatment for the ED?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks! I do my best to be open. Regularly offer him to ask me any questions, set any parameters but he doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's been through that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks. He always tells me he's the happiest he's ever been with me and the kids. So maybe you're right. I shouldn't place my own expectations onto him. I guess I just don't like leaving him out of the fun"

If you feel that bad about it you could always stop

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By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell

The wrong thing to do is to tell someone who not a cuck that they are one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not leaving him out of the fun if he is choosing not to take part. But I still say it's always communication.

Maybe first talk to him saying that if you are swinging you both need to promise each other to always be 100% honest about everything at all times because you don't want it to affect your relationship. Then on a separate occasion if it is still bothering you tell him you need to ask him something + answer it honestly, etc.

That being said, it might simply be that he is more happy + content now knowing that your sexual needs are being met in a way you are both happy with + it's taking the pressure off of him.

Or that he is one of the people that enjoys his wife going off with other guys (like sharing his wife just without him there) then coming home to tell him about it.

So many possibilities. To be honest I personally feel cuck is the least likely but that's my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Super helpful. I've taken all the steps you've suggested already. Honesty is my middle name which is why I regularly try to be open with him. I haven't even suggested to him he's a cuck so based on all these helpful comments I will keep my mouth shut.. And you're right I think he is relieved knowing I'm getting satisfied elsewhere. He just wants the cuddles and companionship to be ours

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

"So I believe my hubby is a cuck but he doesn't know it. Yet. How do I get him to realize this and embrace it and start having fun as a couple with me instead of just feeling insecure about his inability to satisfy me penetration wise? (He's 15 years older and has ED). He knows I play single but doesn't want to hear the details. He adores me, is a great life partner and dad. But he's proud and insecure and a little asexual. It breaks my heart watching him beat himself up. And me totally at ease with my sexuality. Saw a therapist that suggested that swinging when one partner was that insecure wouldn't work but I have faith it could?

Would really love to hear from anyone that's taken this journey. Maybe even come meet them for a social with hubby to chat about it? "

Unless I’ve misread ... he’s happy for you to play but doesn’t want to know? That doesn’t sound like a willing cuckold. It seems to me that he understands your needs and his inability to deliver .... while he wants you to have an active sex life he doesn’t want to be involved. While it’s cuckoldry, it’s not a fantasy for him it’s wanting you to get what you want. I don’t imagine it’s that rare with men with ED who love their wives enough to allow them to go outside of their relationship for satisfaction but not want to think or know who’s fucking their wife and giving them what they can’t.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

He sounds like hes disappointed in himself because he is unable to perform. He wants you to be happy but doesn't like the fact its another man doing it for you.

A cuck would enjoy another man satisfying you, though your man doesn't sound like he is.

Without meeting him he does sound like he has some submissive tendencies which would also bare out why he agrees for you to meet on your own even though he doesnt like it.

It will break his heart if you suggest he is cuck and he isn't. As the poster above said complete open and honest communication is the way forward. There are other ways of finding sexual gratification for you both without him physically penetrating you, maybe researching and finding out would help.

Ask him if he would enjoy you taking charge more, send him some articles that you find. And suggest beforehand you will send then to so you can both figure out what exactly ticks both your boxes. Dont make to much of them before you send them try and get from him what he likes...

So I would send something like... I find this interesting what do you think?

Not omg this makes me so hot imagining being fucked by two stallions.

D/s play such as sensation play can be very pleasing, edging, wax play, thousands of different toys. Maybe if he could watch you scream in orgasm on the end of a wand you are directing him to use on you.

Lots of alternatives.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Ps we love your profile

lol

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

The forum is not the best place for advice

Too many people post negativity and it’s a cheap way to sling sarcasm and show off to others.

After reading your post Abi and your further comments then I would suggest this,

Start watching porn together, ideally in bed

Normal porn first then move on to cuckold porn and start watching cuck porn together on a regular basis

If your instincts are correct this should turn him on

If it does , then you ask him if he would like to try this for real ? Don’t give up if he says no or gives a shy response, but do tell him you would like to try it .

Good wishes .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many people post negativity and it’s a cheap way to sling sarcasm and show off to others.

I think the posts have been positive actually. People have not told her she is wrong, or that there is anything wrong with him being a cuck. They have simply tried to point out other reasons why he may be like this, which is what she was asking.

You tell them to watch cuck porn, but you don't know if he even watches porn at all anymore, so she should force him to watch it?

You then further tell her if he doesn't like it to force him to continually watch it.

Sorry but I disagree, there are better ways to try to figure it out than to potentially make him suffer forcing him to watch cuck porn (or any porn) by pretending it is because he is doing it for her.

If he does actively watch porn, then yes maybe try this. But I still think she needs to talk to him + not let him believe she wants him to be cuck. That's just not fair. I would be giving the same advice for anything, it has nothing to do with cuck + if he does like it that's great.

Our veri's show its all male meets, I don't play I watch. But I'm not actually cuck, or are we in any kind of sub/dom relationship. My opinions are genuinely suggestions to help the OP + has nothing to do with things I/we like

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

Excuse me Daisy swallows

But who said she should force him to watch it ?

Nobody is forcing anybody to do anything

See this is the whole problem on here

It’s like Chinese whispers isn’t it ?

I simply suggested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t give up if he says no or gives a shy response, but do tell him you would like to try it "

This is why I said what I said. Maybe you didn't mean it like it sounded

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I don't know if you share books but a possible indirect way of opening his mind to the possibility would be to buy a fictional novel (featuring the cuck dynamic) for yourself and hope he will read it after you. That might be a good, no pressure strategy to opening up a discussion.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I don't know if you share books but a possible indirect way of opening his mind to the possibility would be to buy a fictional novel (featuring the cuck dynamic) for yourself and hope he will read it after you. That might be a good, no pressure strategy to opening up a discussion."

We do this sort if thing all the time with anything we find interesting. With articles, forum posts, websites all sorts. Works very well to spark interesting conversations and has led to some great experiences.

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By *ancaster31Man
over a year ago

Blackpool

Maybe he prefers guys himself?! Maybe you playing with other guys is his way of trying to satisfy that.

I'm a bi guy in a similar relationship but sometimes only a cock will do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have had some good suggestions here, even watching cuck porn with him if he does still like to watch porn.

Ultimately nobody knows the best way to handle it except you really.

Out of interest, who suggested you went elsewhere for sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would really love to hear from anyone that's taken this journey. Maybe even come meet them for a social with hubby to chat about it? "

Sorry, tried to PM you about husbands ED,has he seen a doc, had his prostate checked ?.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

I'm in the same/similar situation OP. I've accepted for now that he doesn't want to know and so do stuff behind his back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same/similar situation OP. I've accepted for now that he doesn't want to know and so do stuff behind his back."

But she isn't doing stuff behind his back. He knows and is ok with it, he just doesn't want the details (like who, how, what it was like, etc).

Although not for the typical reasons, to me it sounds a bit more like an open relationship rather than swinging as such. But these things have no set definition really + both are pretty much the same thing

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By *entle giraffeMan
over a year ago

Minehead

"Super helpful. I've taken all the steps you've suggested already. Honesty is my middle name which is why I regularly try to be open with him. I haven't even suggested to him he's a cuck so based on all these helpful comments I will keep my mouth shut.. And you're right I think he is relieved knowing I'm getting satisfied elsewhere. He just wants the cuddles and companionship to be ours"

You sound like a good woman. You are open to listening to others and I'm sure you will do the right things for both of you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you. All of you. And yes I feel like a good woman who has had a lot of lemons thrown her way and is just trying to make lemonade from it all. Xxxx

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Maybe a club where he could meet the suitor/lover . He may feel intimidated by them but in helping you choose he might be more willing to join in.

Some cucks have limited or no interaction with the lover while others are fully involved and join in in some capacity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He may feel intimidated by them but in helping you choose he might be more willing to join in. "

I don't know a whole lot about cuck but to be honest I think this might be a good idea cuck or not. At least to try.

I help pick all males

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you guys need a hearty long chat together although it may not be the right time yet. If his ED is a recent thing he needs time to come to terms with it first.

Mrs "

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By *oeSouthMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

It's time for a honestly talk , never assume anything before he said something , communication is the key of all doors , have a fantastic day all

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Try not to worry about labels. Cuckolding takes many forms even for those who are into it.

I find labels are useful if you need to categorise yourself for others to search out.

But between the two of you a label is not nessasary.

Its just your sex life and what works for you.

What is it that would add to your sex life by your husband categorising himself as a cuck?

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Yes, Niki wouldn't even entertain discussions on threesomes (MFM or FMF) until I 'happened' to buy 'myself' a novel featuring a really hot MFM dynamic, she read it on holiday and the rest is history. I now need to buy myself a book with FMF - but probably won't have the same outcome

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Mine's a cuck now, just told him i fucked someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine's a cuck now, just told him i fucked someone else."

Amazingly hot... what a statement! I hope he enjoyed that!

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Would really love to hear from anyone that's taken this journey. Maybe even come meet them for a social with hubby to chat about it? "

There are lots of ways you can achieve this. Send me a message.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"My husband has ED but he's no cuck by any means. He has his own insecurities but we're working on them as a couple.

What makes you think yours is cuck?

Mrs "

Look up EFT. EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique. I think it may help. EFT is very easy to learn. You can learn the basics in 10 minutes. It costs nothing to do.

EFT can be used for things like

Weight loss

Body pains

Stopping smoking

Phonias

and much, much more

EFT you prefer seek out an experienced EFT specialist.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Mine's a cuck now, just told him i fucked someone else.

Amazingly hot... what a statement! I hope he enjoyed that! "

Nope he did not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine's a cuck now, just told him i fucked someone else.

Amazingly hot... what a statement! I hope he enjoyed that!

Nope he did not."

Oh... I can't see why he wouldn't love it! If it was me I'd enjoy every naughty little detail.

Anyway, it's your enjoyment that matters... right

I trust you enjoyed telling him? at the very least enjoyed making him a cuck.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Mine's a cuck now, just told him i fucked someone else.

Amazingly hot... what a statement! I hope he enjoyed that!

Nope he did not.

Oh... I can't see why he wouldn't love it! If it was me I'd enjoy every naughty little detail.

Anyway, it's your enjoyment that matters... right

I trust you enjoyed telling him? at the very least enjoyed making him a cuck."

I'm kind of not bothered about it tbh. Had been looking forward to cuckolding someone and then when i did it i more enjoyed being sexually desired and didn't really think about the cuckold part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just get him some blue pills and he will soon be a alpha with a block of wood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Advice as we have been a Cuckold Couple for many Years is sit down and talk openly about both of your feelings and talk honestly it’s the only way believe me x

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"My Advice as we have been a Cuckold Couple for many Years is sit down and talk openly about both of your feelings and talk honestly it’s the only way believe me x"
100%. That's the only way it works properly for both partners in my experience.

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By *ucky24Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 04/08/19 09:54:10]

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

"My Advice as we have been a Cuckold Couple for many Years is sit down and talk openly about both of your feelings and talk honestly it’s the only way believe me x"

May I message you about this please? It's something my partner and I are exploring & I don't want to clog up this thread.

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