FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Finding confidence again

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Af'noon all

Mr Blue here and looking for some advice. Weve been on the scene for a few years and have met some fantastic people.

We took a break in 2017 for 12 months and in 2018 popped back to the club scene.

I had 2 mini strokes which also triggered my depression and anxiety again.

Ive always been the confident guy, but since my depression and breakdown i miss me.

I feel ive lost body confidence and just think, why would anyone wanna play with me.

Had no complications or effects from the tias but just really wanna get back into it but my nerves and anxiety doesnt let me.

I rock the dad bad, i get a sweat when i walk past a gym lol im not obese.

Any advice?

P.s

This post has taken time to do as i felt stupid posting it.

Blue x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *utsidenakedMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Hi, have read ya post

I too have had the same experience but I had two full blow stokes recovered now but a years depression found it's way into my life.im now one of the most confidant people you'll ever know

I now teach confidance and liberation and I'm successful at it. Can't message you as I'm too old it seems. All the best x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Hey Mr Blue

Sorry to hear that you have had these health issues and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

There's no doubt that having a stroke can really take away confidence and self-esteem which provide a breeding grounded for anxiety and depression to set in.

Although TIAs may be thought of as 'mini-strokes' and thankfully not as serious as, well the more serious kind, there is no doubt that the emotional impact from a TIA can be just as difficult to experience as a more serious stroke.

When you think about 'getting back into it' what is it you are thinking about that is making you feel anxious? Are you telling yourself something negative about your body or getting all sorts of images popping into your head? This is probably going to be the key in tackling the nerves and anxiety you are feeling.

It's really good that you have got yourself back into the lifestyle, because standing up to depression and anxiety means taking back control from the things that are taken away by them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats getting me is the more 'buff' gym types at clubs and the endless needs for requirement.

Must have a gym body fuck like a machine massive cock heavy cummer etc.

I just feel a dad bod with an average cock that works. Why would anyone want to play with me.

We get loads of interest from cpls and singles for mrs red, but i just feel a task

We have played with singles before. Had fantastic cpl swaps and the odd orgy, but now i just struggle to even talk to people. As i feel if i do then i panic over my body looks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *offee and KinksCouple
over a year ago

Notts/Derby

Although it’s been for different reasons to a TIA, I’ve been trying to help someone with similar confidence issues.

The best advice I can offer is find one thing that you feel good about yourself and own it. You need just one thing to build a strong foundation on and then take it from there. Ignore the gym buff guys, that’s their thing.

For example, if dressing to impress works for you, roll up in a suit. Especially a 3 piece one, works great for dad bods. If casual works better, go with it.

Us dad bods with average cocks are more than capable to satisfying the right person, just need to make sure you know who it is.

Hope that helps

Mr S

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an ole chinese saying. It goes,"fuck it!"

I know the spiral of depression is very hard. And accept it is very difficult to look past it.

However. Sometimes you just have to go,"fuck it!".

Break the cast of depression the holds you.

Embrace,"fuck it!".

You've been through hell already and survived. What is the worst that can happen.

Best wishes to all thoses recovering for illness and more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wish i could.

Mrs Red wants to go chams tonight, but feel that ill be the burden or such.

She can get the attention anytime and offers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand this completely OP I had some of my bowl removed so i had a stoma bag until 3rd June this year trying to get my head around stuff now and having the scars is in my head going to put people off me but I died twice in the theatre in March so I'm now at that point that fuck it life is too short to fuck around with it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression is a horrible cloud OP.

I know it'll feel very personal but the lady getting all the attention is far from unusual. I think most on Fab would vouch for that.

You're still young. Discuss it with your GP, including how you can regain your fitness and a better body shape if that's what you want.

You'll get there and you have time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im on meds anyway.

Tbf. I dont wanna go to a gym,

Its hard to explain,

Mmmm

I had a massive confidence knock in dec 18 to jan 19. And since ive felt like utter shite.

Knocked me for 6.

In an ideal world id be me again before the knock..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top