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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Its his business and his drama. How do you know shes not aware? | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Why do you have to tell her, why not him? | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " just keep out of it it's their life and you havnt told her you're here either | |||
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"Block and forget about it. There may be issues that you dont know about. She might be playing away too. Dont get involved." That | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out " Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. " What proof does she have that he's cheating? | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. What proof does she have that he's cheating? " You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. " It's like somebody else said they could both be on here with separate profiles, people cheat it's a fact of life and many people here cheat it's their business not ours, if the Op tells her friend and the couple end up divorced that friend won't thank her for it, plus that friend will also know the Ops a swinger to not such a big deal to us but maybe for her | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. " no one is condoning it! but also no one knows the whole story! not even the OP! how do we know its not "permitted?" or that the friend hasnt got a single profile too? all most are saying is the op likely to loose a friend, in 99% of cases the woman forgives the man and shuns the friend! its not black and white and there are 100 answers to the same problem they all could be the right one! | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. What proof does she have that he's cheating? You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to. " ok. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. It's like somebody else said they could both be on here with separate profiles, people cheat it's a fact of life and many people here cheat it's their business not ours, if the Op tells her friend and the couple end up divorced that friend won't thank her for it, plus that friend will also know the Ops a swinger to not such a big deal to us but maybe for her " If the op is single, she’s not a swinger. Being on here is no different to being on tinder for someone single. If she ends up divorced through the information given then that’s her decision. I’m sure that she’ll have more trust and respect in her friend for telling her than not though. Also, how can you sit back knowing your friends partner is cheating on them without their knowledge? That’s not friendship, it makes you the same villain as the one committing the act. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. What proof does she have that he's cheating? You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to. " Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. It's like somebody else said they could both be on here with separate profiles, people cheat it's a fact of life and many people here cheat it's their business not ours, if the Op tells her friend and the couple end up divorced that friend won't thank her for it, plus that friend will also know the Ops a swinger to not such a big deal to us but maybe for her If the op is single, she’s not a swinger. Being on here is no different to being on tinder for someone single. If she ends up divorced through the information given then that’s her decision. I’m sure that she’ll have more trust and respect in her friend for telling her than not though. Also, how can you sit back knowing your friends partner is cheating on them without their knowledge? That’s not friendship, it makes you the same villain as the one committing the act. " but and this is the thing ' she doesn't know he's cheating ' it's assumption at the moment | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other." i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. What proof does she have that he's cheating? You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to. Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude. " How is it rude? You’re rude simply for calling me rude without a reasoning for me being rude. When someone gives a question to a question, that is called arguing. It’s a common tactic among politicians. This is why nothing runs well in society anymore, we question questions instead of giving answers. I think that we can deduce from the fact that, there’s nothing in the bio of the man about being part of a couple that he’s here to cheat. The op asked for advice, she never asked “what ifs”. | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx" But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are? | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are?" I see that you never read my post then....typical. I said in my previous message what you’d do, and you did not disappoint. Just to clarify: I said that she should mention to him on here first. Going from there, she can better gauge if he’s here with permission or not.... | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are?" That's a good point, and with social media these days, you can pretty much find out who anyone is very easily and take whatever photos you want from it. | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are?" exactly right surely if she wants to confront someone confront the male!! | |||
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"One question to ask. Do you know he is doing it behind her back. A full face pic is normally a sign it’s ok. ( or he is stupid ) Himself was reported to me as being on here on his personal profile. And I knew. I encouraged it. I picked the pictures as well. You may risk your friendship for nothing" If his partner knows, there is zero risk. It would solidify her trust more in her friend. Whereas, if he does have permission and, the guy recognises the op and tells his partner. She’d know that her friend isn’t one to trust. Jesus, Socrates and Plato would fall upon their own swords in this day and age. Absolutely no backbone or respect for anyone. | |||
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"One question to ask. Do you know he is doing it behind her back. A full face pic is normally a sign it’s ok. ( or he is stupid ) Himself was reported to me as being on here on his personal profile. And I knew. I encouraged it. I picked the pictures as well. It’s also about if you are happy sharing that guy are in this lifestyle. You may risk your friendship for nothing If his partner knows, there is zero risk. It would solidify her trust more in her friend. Whereas, if he does have permission and, the guy recognises the op and tells his partner. She’d know that her friend isn’t one to trust. Jesus, Socrates and Plato would fall upon their own swords in this day and age. Absolutely no backbone or respect for anyone. " | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Do nothing, it's not your business. | |||
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"In my opinion stay away, block and move on.. it's none of your concern and you dont even know their circumstances or arrangements at all.." Totally agree with this | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. What proof does she have that he's cheating? You’re the type to argue everything, so I’m not even going to bother. Read my post before the one you’re replying to. Wow! Sounds like you’re the argumentative one. How rude. " Hes not being rude you plonker. | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx But why should she tell her friend, why not him? What if someone has nicked his picture from social media and set up a profile, it's not unheard of? What kind of friend tells someone their partner is cheating before actually establishing they are?" As if hes going to tell the truth ? | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home." Love how ppl come up with the problem at home shit like it's her making him cheat really boils my water x | |||
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"Block him. It's none of your business. As you say, she's not aware you're on here so how do you know she's not aware of his profile and ok with it? " if shes aware then there is no harm done is there ? But do agree I would speak to him first .. | |||
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"You walk into a pub. Your friend's partner is in there with another woman. What do you do? Just because it is on fab doesn't make different rules apply. " Exactly this. I’d never forgive my “friends” if they knew my partner was cheating on me and they didn’t say anything. They wouldn’t be my friends for very much longer. | |||
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"Tbh there is a high possibility he has seen this thread and recognised you We've all seen these types of situations within forums Never ends well " I’m guessing that he has as - he’s made his images private. | |||
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"Tbh there is a high possibility he has seen this thread and recognised you We've all seen these types of situations within forums Never ends well I’m guessing that he has as - he’s made his images private. " Well.. it will play out one way or another | |||
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"Keep your nose out ! I don’t condone cheating at all!! It’s cowardly and self indulgent but I think you miss OP could come off worse if you open your mouth .. The only thing you could do is message him on here stating you know his wife and see what he does x" I agree let him know you know as you maybe the one that gets disliked for just trying to be there for a friend. If someone has to cheat there is something broken. | |||
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"Move along, it's none of your business. " Whilst move along is a valid option, I disagree it's none of her business. Its her business as she is a friend. If a friend was being conned financially or subject to slanderous comments by others would everyone here still suggest that the best action is to not make their friend aware? What if he catches an std eg hiv and passes that on to his partner, how shit would that friend feel for not intervening. Like I said at the start doing nothing is an option, but it is still a choice with consequences attached. Once you have information there is always a judgement and a decision to make about what you do with it. | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Couple of options, block and ignore or tell the other half! | |||
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"You walk into a pub. Your friend's partner is in there with another woman. What do you do? Just because it is on fab doesn't make different rules apply. Exactly this. I’d never forgive my “friends” if they knew my partner was cheating on me and they didn’t say anything. They wouldn’t be my friends for very much longer." And that’s a perfectly reasoned position Unfortunately it’s also common in these settings that the friend bears the brunt and it’s ostracised by both parties for getting involved You can’t go into these settings assuming they’re going to be grateful as you would be, there needs to be an assumption it could gone either way and be prepared for that when a decision to intervene is taken | |||
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"Keep your nose out ! I don’t condone cheating at all!! It’s cowardly and self indulgent but I think you miss OP could come off worse if you open your mouth .. The only thing you could do is message him on here stating you know his wife and see what he does x I agree let him know you know as you maybe the one that gets disliked for just trying to be there for a friend. If someone has to cheat there is something broken. " Yes, it’s broken because one of the party is cheating, and the other likely unaware of anything being wrong. That’s why she should be told, and do with the information as she wishes. People cheat due to them being opportunistic and deceitful. If they weren’t they’d talk as adults do and resolve it. They may even get permission, or end up on here together. Instead: most lie and cheat, leading to broken relationships and families. You’d think that people would have learnt how things work in 2019.... | |||
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"Sorry a bit off topic. But made me chuckle " It made me laugh too | |||
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"Contact him without revealing who you are, and see where it goes. If he still says he's a single guy up for a meet, then you will have all the questions answered...after that, it's down to your conscience." And...if you do decide to tell her, make sure you have the evidence to back it up, screenshot everything, and you could also do it anonymously. | |||
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"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge. Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years. Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. " Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her. | |||
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"There could also be a number of reasons for hom to be on here. Maybe she's off sex and suggested he finds it elsewhere. Maybe it's her fantasy. I would say that it may not be the best thing to say something at this point. Maybe chat with your friend and check that everything is ok with her life & relationship? Cal" | |||
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"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge. Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years. Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her." exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x | |||
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"All the people saying tell his wife why what good can that do no one knows what’s made him come on here just mind your own buisness" What good can telling her do? Maybe stop her from being made a mug of is a good place to start with reasons to tell her. And who is to say he is even cheating on her anyway! She could know what he's up to and be absolutely fine with it. But if it's a close friend I care about then I owe her loyalty and I'd rather not see her be betrayed each day. | |||
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"No say nothing! Only 2 people know what their relationship is like,and thats them. There could be a number of reasons why he is on here. Its not good to judge others. " Whose judging? She is simply supplying information. That can be done in a none judgemental manner. Hey saw your fella on fabswingers the other day. Simple to the point no judgement. Clearly if she does not want to declare she is on fabswingers then that is what makes it difficult. | |||
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"No say nothing! Only 2 people know what their relationship is like,and thats them. There could be a number of reasons why he is on here. Its not good to judge others. Whose judging? She is simply supplying information. That can be done in a none judgemental manner. Hey saw your fella on fabswingers the other day. Simple to the point no judgement. Clearly if she does not want to declare she is on fabswingers then that is what makes it difficult. " I actually agree with this ^^^ If no-one who is saying say nothing has never been through or witnessed the horror of someone finding out their partner is cheating on them then I'm pleased because the world is a better place to be in than I thought. And yes I'm 51 but never cheated or been cheated on so am exceedingly blessed but I have witnessed the consquences many times. And met many a single, bitter person with the biggest chip ever who thinks the opposite sex are devil's spawn and unfortunately I have witnessed far to many people who so called adults have ruined their lives because they couldn't do without "their right to sex". So yes, tell ... don't tell, do whatever you think is right for your conscience but never ever take a fab forum thread seriously because WE are all coloured by our lives, circumstances and consciences not your own! Good luck ... and be happy in your future | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business?" Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. | |||
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"Block and forget about it. There may be issues that you dont know about. She might be playing away too. Dont get involved." This, precisely. | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business? Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. " I'm just wondering were the difference between being a stranger and a friend is. I recognise that we all have different relationships styles but to me part of being someones friend is to help them in ways I would not help a stranger. Giving a friend information that you have seen their partner seems to be just the standard thing to have a conversation about. "hey saw your other half at the park yesterday" Saw your partner on TV the other day. Was at the same burlesque show as your partner the other day. Met your partner at the casino last night. Saw them at the bar last night. Why is it "saw them on fab" is the exception to the friendship rule? Clearly if you want to not admit to going to a casino, burlesque show, pub, park or fab then this is a perfectly decent reason to not out yourself for doing any or all of these activities. | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business? Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. " I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship. I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know. If there was any hope for the relationship, they would have discussed it openly. To blatantly make a profile on a swingers website, (which includes face pictures) is blatant disrespect and, the relationship has no roots. Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck. | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business? Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship. I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know. If there was any hope for the relationship, they would have discussed it openly. To blatantly make a profile on a swingers website, (which includes face pictures) is blatant disrespect and, the relationship has no roots. Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck." You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me...... | |||
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"I would just mention to him, maybe he’s a bit dim and doesn’t realise all and sundry can see his face pic? " So you'd help him cheat more effectively? | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business? Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship. I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know. If there was any hope for the relationship, they would have discussed it openly. To blatantly make a profile on a swingers website, (which includes face pictures) is blatant disrespect and, the relationship has no roots. Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck. You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me...... " I am? I've had the back of my head split open with a brick. I've been stabbed and jumped by a group of 20. I think that I'm capable of making a judgement. Are you, is the question? | |||
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"It's always your business. Once you know something it's your decision what you do with that information. Different context but if you knew a friend was going to be assaulted tomorrow by their partner, would you also recommend the it's none of your business? Being a victim of DA is so far removed from the same context as someone being seen on here!! She has no idea of their relationship dynamics and therefore the assumption is made that he must be cheating. I'd rather be seriously physically assaulted than have someone tear apart my trust and happiness in what is supposed to be a committed relationship. I've known many to be in a similar situation, it just makes the innocent party look like such a fool and open to ridicule from anyone in the know. If there was any hope for the relationship, they would have discussed it openly. To blatantly make a profile on a swingers website, (which includes face pictures) is blatant disrespect and, the relationship has no roots. Tell her, let her be freed from such a vile pr*ck. You are trivialising DA victims with that comment. How you can say something like that is beyond me...... I am? I've had the back of my head split open with a brick. I've been stabbed and jumped by a group of 20. I think that I'm capable of making a judgement. Are you, is the question? " Explain what do you mean by that? | |||
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"Verify him ????" Surely once is enough to know for sure. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. " I am with you here on your answer. | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. I am with you here on your answer. " I don't condone cheating and I'm one of the people who said don't tell her. That's because I don't condone telling someone something you assume rather than know in the name of friendship. I also don't condone interfering in someone else's relationship unless they're in danger. As I said before if in this situation someone feels they need to do something why not speak to the person with the profile? | |||
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"If you tell your friend about her other half you could lose a good friend. I know its hard not to say anything but my advice is to leave it alone just block him And be there when she finds out Why would she lose a friend? You literally have no basis for your theory. If she has proof, I’m sure that her friend would be ever thankful that she told her, rather than be in the dark and treated like an idiot. Op, the only people that tell you not to are those that condone it. This is supposed to be a swingers website, not Ashley madison ffs. I am with you here on your answer. I don't condone cheating and I'm one of the people who said don't tell her. That's because I don't condone telling someone something you assume rather than know in the name of friendship. I also don't condone interfering in someone else's relationship unless they're in danger. As I said before if in this situation someone feels they need to do something why not speak to the person with the profile? " | |||
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"I'd say it depends on the friendship and the individual situation. Maybe have a coffee and mention that situation but say it involves a friend and see how she reacts to the do I tell her or not question. If she says butt out, stay quiet. If she says she'd want to know then break it to them. Unless you already know if they'd want to know or not that is. Personally, I'd prefer to be told" I think this is a good way of going about it if you feel that you want to tell her. It all depends on your relationship with her, good luck x | |||
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"I was cheated on my first concern was .... what STI could I have he could be putting her health at risk does that change anyone's view on not telling her?" That's a bit of a leap from a to z | |||
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"I was cheated on my first concern was .... what STI could I have he could be putting her health at risk does that change anyone's view on not telling her?" Another “what if?” scenario. What if he doesn’t have sex with partner. What if he always uses protection and gets tested regularly. What if he doesn’t have sex until he knows his clear. | |||
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"I was cheated on my first concern was .... what STI could I have he could be putting her health at risk does that change anyone's view on not telling her?" No, I still say if you need to tell anyone, tell him | |||
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"Strong morals in this thread - Not. It’s your friend...not a random neighbour. Message him that you know he’s married/in a relationship. His reaction to this will let you know if his partner is aware. If you were my friend and never told me, you’d be out the door as quick as my “partner”. " This. And if they are both on it then you'll also know by the reaction, and no harm will have been done. Unfortunately too many condone the behaviour surrounding cheating. There are many couples profiles on here of cheats one or both. There are many singles who are cheating or have FB on here that are cheating. Too many are complisiant to this sort of this and think it's best just to ignore and turn a blind eye. | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Block the profile. Say nothing. Don't make their business your business. | |||
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"What is determined as being in danger? Is it only physical or does emotional danger not that serious? What about her health from possible sexual disease or do most here only think about their own and not concerned about others. There's various types of danger here in my opinion." Meddling is often quite dangerous too | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " I would be honest and tell her. If you cannot do that - I would create a new free email address and send her a link to the profile. I would say in the email is this your boyfriend? As her friend you have to let her know. How would you feel if it was your boyfriend and your friend didn't let you know? If she already knows about all well and good. | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx" If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry. | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home." If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?" I'd say most would say yes, by default of saying, "they have needs and you're not walking in their shoes". It's the way most view it. They won't meet them if they knew however. | |||
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"Firstly, people often use other people’s pictures as their own so I would probably step with caution. Although I’m a HUGE advocate for honesty and think that cheating as a form of deceit is disgusting, it’s also a very dangerous place to put yourself in outing him. I’d approach him first and see what he says then decide next steps" If she confronts him he will delete his profile and deny everything. If I was you OP I would keep screen shot his profile and pictures and save them. | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website?" No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry. " ‘The perfect relationship’? You just don’t know what their deal is. Someone told me that she wished her marriage was like mine, the week after I finished our long, dead increasingly acrimonious relationship. Listen to her, but don’t think you know what’s going on. | |||
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"Print it off and post it to her, she may not believe it but it might arouse her suspicion to his activities a little, if you openly tell her in my experience she may not thank you for it." thats such a nasty thing to do!! No OP stay out of it it's not your concern. | |||
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"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge. Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years. Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her. exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x " I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife. | |||
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"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge. Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years. Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her. exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife." Sounds like a threat though. I’d just tell my friend. I’m not into threatening cheats and allowing them to disappear to a different site before she’s caught him and kicked him out. | |||
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"If she's a good friend then I'd mention it to her. Good friends look out for each other. i would certainly want to know if some idiot was making a mug of me and if I found out my friend knew and never told me that would upset me so for you who are saying stay out of it think and I mean really think would you let your best mate go on thinking she had the perfect relationship when hes being a dick .. or help her get over it and move on to someone who will treat her how she deserves to be treat ?? I always say things happen for a reason .... so we can find better xxx If it was me I would also want to know. If I found a friend knew and didn't tell me I would be angry. ‘The perfect relationship’? You just don’t know what their deal is. Someone told me that she wished her marriage was like mine, the week after I finished our long, dead increasingly acrimonious relationship. Listen to her, but don’t think you know what’s going on." She obviously thinks it is or she wouldn't be with him. X | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously " She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend" I don’t think choosing not to tell makes anyone less of a friend, it’s based on our own experiences / preferences and knowing one’s friendship circle. A friend of mine has made it crystal clear that she wouldn’t want to know if her other half was cheating as long as he kept it from their door & it didn’t interfere with their home life, which is the same as my view. Maybe it’s all about having those type of conversations with mates to establish that instead of the “she’d wanna know because I would” assumption. | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend" The simple truth is that she saw a profile with his picture on it on fab. He is the one to be given this information. As I've said friendship to me anyway doesn't mean telling my friends what I assume their husbands are doing. If friendship genuinely mean that I've been doing it wrong my whole life | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend The simple truth is that she saw a profile with his picture on it on fab. He is the one to be given this information. As I've said friendship to me anyway doesn't mean telling my friends what I assume their husbands are doing. If friendship genuinely mean that I've been doing it wrong my whole life" Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them. This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE. | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend The simple truth is that she saw a profile with his picture on it on fab. He is the one to be given this information. As I've said friendship to me anyway doesn't mean telling my friends what I assume their husbands are doing. If friendship genuinely mean that I've been doing it wrong my whole life Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them. This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE. " Good morning, you are wise to trust no one, I trust very few people. We will have to agree to disagree on where my responsibilities lie. | |||
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"There are hundreds of people on here without their partners knowledge. Why jepodise your friendship over one man who has probably deceived her for years. Just a single guy here saying it as I see it. Because any friend of mine deserves way, way better than some bloke with no respect for her. exactly this I would certainly want to know if my other half was making a mug outta me x I agree with you both. My comment was just another angle on the dilemma. I personally would send him a message saying I know your wife. Sounds like a threat though. I’d just tell my friend. I’m not into threatening cheats and allowing them to disappear to a different site before she’s caught him and kicked him out." Another good point.. I hope I'm never in the position to choose. | |||
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"If your friend was the one who was cheating would you want to tell her partner?Probably not. I would keep quiet for the time being.They maybe having problems at home. If you are having relationship problems at home it's ok to put a single male profile up on a swingers website? No I don't think so. The fact is not one of us know why he's put a profile on here or even if it's definitely him. Huge assumptions have been made about him and her by people who know nothing about either of them and on the basis of those assumptions the op has been advised to tell her friend her husband is cheating on her (despite the fact that she said he hasn't been verified). Furthermore some have said to tell her anonymously She does not need to tell her he is cheating. simply the truth. She saw his profile on fab. It is for the friend to use that information. What if it's not the partner. Should they also not be made aware that their image is being used for potential revenge porn purposes (a crime). I don't quite get why people would withhold information from friends. Why are they friends if you will not share with them. Surely that just makes them aquaintences. Were do you draw the line? I'll admit to seeing your partner anywhere so long as it's not sexual. If it's sexual I will keep that to myself and never let my friend know for a month, year, 10 years? In which time they could get any type of std and pass it on doing untold physical and mental damage. I just don't get why sex would mean not doing what you would normally do for a friend The simple truth is that she saw a profile with his picture on it on fab. He is the one to be given this information. As I've said friendship to me anyway doesn't mean telling my friends what I assume their husbands are doing. If friendship genuinely mean that I've been doing it wrong my whole life Your responsibility/empathy should lie with your friend, not the partner cheating on them. This thread has solidified my reasonings for trusting NO-ONE. " agree with this poster | |||
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" Why do you have to tell her, why not him?" Exactly this! Interesting to see that much of the advice given from women, is to tell her, and from men and couples, is pretty much keep your beak out! We say the same, it’s none of your business, especially if she’s not the sort of friend that you’re prepared to open up to about your own exploits on here. | |||
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" Why do you have to tell her, why not him? Exactly this! Interesting to see that much of the advice given from women, is to tell her, and from men and couples, is pretty much keep your beak out! We say the same, it’s none of your business, especially if she’s not the sort of friend that you’re prepared to open up to about your own exploits on here." Why would you tell him? I don't understand that logic. If he's the kind of guy who cheats, he's probably the kind of guy who would manipulate his partner into having nothing more to do with you. | |||
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"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves: How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business." You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough. She now has depression, because she always wanted a family. " supposition though, some people view life as what if and some what's next | |||
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"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves: How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business." You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough. She now has depression, because she always wanted a family. " OP says nothing about it being her best friend, but does mention she’s uncomfortable telling this friend (not her best one) that she’s on this site. Not worth the potential fall out in our opinion. Not condoning cheating at all, but your remarks about a man who cheats, also being a manipulator, skilled enough to convince said woman that it’s all bollocks, says a lot about the assumptions you make about men and her friend, which we presume you don’t actually know? She might be a lot stronger than you give her credit for. Also think that if he’s a cheater, then he’s just as much chance of giving her an sti from anyone else he may be cheating with, regardless of whether or not he’s cheating with someone on a swinging site. | |||
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"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves: How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business." You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough. She now has depression, because she always wanted a family. " Ok let me counter this with another situation inferred from one profile with one picture on fab. What if she tells her friend her husband is cheating and the profile has been created by his colleagues as 'hilarious' prank or by some random who lifted his picture straight from Facebook. He has no way to prove it's not him and because her and her mate are besties and she trusts her more than him they divorce. Their many children are left without a father most of the week and he's devastated and deeply depressed. All because someone thought they knew what was happening in someone else's marriage | |||
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"I have just come across a friends partner on here. She is not aware of my lifestyle and so if I tell her I have to explain all this too. He has had an account for 5 weeks but has yet to be verified. Is it my place to get involved or do I just say nothing and move along? " Say nowt. Discretion is the name of the game, no matter how uncomfortable. Realistically, he’s a single Male so won’t be getting any anyway! | |||
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"Question for those who think they should keep it to themselves: How would you feel if you knew your best friends partner was sleeping around. You don't tell her because "it's none of your business." You later find out that he caught an STI and passed it on to her. You see, she never insisted on condoms for her health because she assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. The STI led to her not being able to have children, as it was not discovered early enough. She now has depression, because she always wanted a family. Ok let me counter this with another situation inferred from one profile with one picture on fab. What if she tells her friend her husband is cheating and the profile has been created by his colleagues as 'hilarious' prank or by some random who lifted his picture straight from Facebook. He has no way to prove it's not him and because her and her mate are besties and she trusts her more than him they divorce. Their many children are left without a father most of the week and he's devastated and deeply depressed. All because someone thought they knew what was happening in someone else's marriage" No mention of cheating required. "I was suprised to see a profile on fabswingers with a picture of your partner". Statement of fact, no judgement. | |||
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"Don’t say anything, don’t do anything other than carry on regardless. They could have an arrangement and she could be really embarrassed if you brought it up and loose your friend. He may well be cheating but if that’s the case then so be it, it’s not for you to interfere, she may already be aware and it’ll come out anyway. Never ever ever be the messenger in situations like this you will not be thanked. " Easy to spot those indulging in adultery on threads such as these. | |||
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