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Boundaries.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, we all have different boundaries, what’s in, what’s out!

How do people communicate this with others and each other, both beforehand and in “the thick of it”?

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

My desires are quite simple and easy to communicate - I like to give O and receive A (safe).

Sometimes that matches, sometimes it does not.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We write it in a message or say it out loud when we're at a meet

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Sometimes it’s discussed before a meet but sometimes I have to stop doing something because it hurts usually my hips and knees but occasionally the wrong position can be uncomfortable. I’m at an age where I’ll just say if something is uncomfortable or not what I want.

Be confident in yourself and remember it’s your body and should be respected. No means no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say in messages what I don't like doing xxx

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

In a message before hand.

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By *andm300Man
over a year ago

guildford

Does anyone find it a turn off or spoiling the moment when asked for consent before acting.

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Does anyone find it a turn off or spoiling the moment when asked for consent before acting."

No, I find it more of a turn off if a guy goes ahead and does something that I don’t like/don’t do during the act. It spoils the mood for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We absolutley have boundaries.

And we talk about them whilst we chat to prospective meets.

If we meet, we make them abundantly clear. Nothing worse than people that kill the moments, by pushing it beyond our limits.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Discuss before meeting either by message or conversation via phone etc

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

This normally comes up in the 'getting to know each other' phase of messaging for me. I have never really had a problem

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

If we've arranged a meet we will discuss beforehand. If at a party/club we will usually discuss it before play.

It depends whether it's a vanilla party or BDSM. Because usually if it's BDSM C speaks on my behalf as my Dom.

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By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

UK

I often see profiles (single guys) that say they enjoy pushing boundaries.

Personally I never understand that... my boundaries are there for a reason!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I often see profiles (single guys) that say they enjoy pushing boundaries.

Personally I never understand that... my boundaries are there for a reason!"

They might mean their own but yeah, I don't want mine pushed they're pretty wide anyway

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

[Removed by poster at 15/06/19 19:18:19]

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

We always try and be honest about our boundaries esp since we prefer the single bi females like to get it out there in the the first few messages x

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We make it clear in our messages and clarify it in person when we meet. As a couple we check our boundaries regularly and if one of us wants to push a boundary we both have to be in agreement.

Only once has a boundary been changed during a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In conversations before playing and the fail safe no means no rule. I usually say if I do anything you don't like just tell me and I will stop. Male

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By *ave-and-LouiseCouple
over a year ago

Torquay

I think we understand our boundaries pretty well between us two, but we always make it clear to a meet what any definite No-go's are. Absolutely black and white in a message so there's no misunderstanding.

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl


"This normally comes up in the 'getting to know each other' phase of messaging for me. I have never really had a problem"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I sail close to wind so to speak, I have to discuss limits and red lines with the men I see.

I prefer to say in the social after I feel there is a connection. Messages I feel can get you so far but I prefer that face to face.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it's important that everyone feels able to say if they're uncomfortable with something or if a boundary has been crossed

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

I lay out some of my own boundaries in my profile, then when we meet to chat, I always bring up the subject of boundaries. If meeting a couple I specifically ask the woman what her boundaries are. If it goes to meeting for a massage, then I ask her again to state her boundaries (they may have changed). And during the massage, I watch for body cues that indicate if she's uncomfortable with something, even though she may have agreed to it. Once we've agreed on boundaries before the massage, I don't stray outside our agreement during the massage, even if she asks. If there is a repeat massage, we can explore more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes some don,t remember the boundaries in the moment and have to be told then and dose ruin it as thought they would respect especially with playing safe ,makes it less inviting to meet others that are probably more genuine and respectfull

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"So, we all have different boundaries, what’s in, what’s out!

How do people communicate this with others and each other, both beforehand and in “the thick of it”?"

Spend time getting to know people you are going to meet. Discuss your sexual likes and dislikes. It doesn't have to be a cyber-sex chat. If you all know what you do and do not like doing sexually before you meet it makes the meet go easier.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Does anyone find it a turn off or spoiling the moment when asked for consent before acting."

Yes.

That is why I prefer to know what the woman/couple does and doesn't like sexually before I meet them. We all like and dislike different things sexually. I don't want to keep on asking if the woman/couple if I am ok to do something sexually. If I know what the woman/couple like sexually before we meet I can concentrate on only doing the things they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does anyone find it a turn off or spoiling the moment when asked for consent before acting.

Yes.

That is why I prefer to know what the woman/couple does and doesn't like sexually before I meet them. We all like and dislike different things sexually. I don't want to keep on asking if the woman/couple if I am ok to do something sexually. If I know what the woman/couple like sexually before we meet I can concentrate on only doing the things they like.

"
well said my man. Im exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes it’s discussed before a meet but sometimes I have to stop doing something because it hurts usually my hips and knees but occasionally the wrong position can be uncomfortable. I’m at an age where I’ll just say if something is uncomfortable or not what I want.

Be confident in yourself and remember it’s your body and should be respected. No means no! "

At my age my idea of safe sex is on the floor. That way you don't break anything if you fall out of bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go straight in there, get it out of the way. Obviously after the point that I've decided that they will be needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a message beforehand.

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