FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Not having much success

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

Maybe it's because you don't swap? It seems that you just want a lady to join you really. So I guess the men in a couple are wondering wants in it for them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe it's because you don't swap? It seems that you just want a lady to join you really. So I guess the men in a couple are wondering wants in it for them? "

We know it’s not what everyone is looking for. And we do say we’d prefer a single bi female

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

To be honest, a single bi female is like gold dust

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore."

Have you considered attending a couples and single ladies event? Meeting people face to face, for me is far better. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest, a single bi female is like gold dust "

There’s plenty who claim to be tho until they suddenly remember they have a fwb that needs to be involved.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

Oh yes, we came across that scenario once...it wasn't good. I guess as the lady above suggested, a club may be a good idea

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore.

Have you considered attending a couples and single ladies event? Meeting people face to face, for me is far better. Xx"

Noted and will maybe in the future when we have more body confidence

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore.

Have you considered attending a couples and single ladies event? Meeting people face to face, for me is far better. Xx

Noted and will maybe in the future when we have more body confidence "

Hey don't worry about your bodies, we have found that alot of people prefer confidence and personalities over gym for bodies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gum bodies count for shit, be happy with what you have, I love my dad bod and if no one likes me due to it, that's there problem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire


"Gum bodies count for shit, be happy with what you have, I love my dad bod and if no one likes me due to it, that's there problem"

Yay...see, told you so

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gum bodies count for shit, be happy with what you have, I love my dad bod and if no one likes me due to it, that's there problem

Yay...see, told you so "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore.

Have you considered attending a couples and single ladies event? Meeting people face to face, for me is far better. Xx

Noted and will maybe in the future when we have more body confidence "

We're our own worst critics. Once you learn to love yourself the way you are the life becomes much more beautiful and enjoyable. And others can see that self confidence glow which is very attractive. I'm still on that learning journey myself and know it can be hard but so much worth it.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gum bodies count for shit, be happy with what you have, I love my dad bod and if no one likes me due to it, that's there problem"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

You photos seem targetted towards a male audience. If i was meeting as a single fem I'd want to see pics of a couple I could have fun with, not just cock, tit and a bj pics. A couple fem night would be your best bet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herrySnickersWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"You photos seem targetted towards a male audience. If i was meeting as a single fem I'd want to see pics of a couple I could have fun with, not just cock, tit and a bj pics. A couple fem night would be your best bet."

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Havd you thought about attending an organised social in your area?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You photos seem targetted towards a male audience. If i was meeting as a single fem I'd want to see pics of a couple I could have fun with, not just cock, tit and a bj pics. A couple fem night would be your best bet."

This. The "bits" photos are less likely to appeal to a woman.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Maybe it's because you don't swap? It seems that you just want a lady to join you really. So I guess the men in a couple are wondering wants in it for them?

We know it’s not what everyone is looking for. And we do say we’d prefer a single bi female"

If you think about what gets said to single men about supply and demand then this is even more so for you than single men.

You want a single lady (as discussed not loads on fab)

She then has to be bi.

She has to like the gentleman

She has to like the lady

Add in things like matching availability and distance and that you need to find her attractive and you can see it is a very small pool your are fishing in.

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Ps also being new and unverified will not help.

But I also wonder how many bi women will see bi curious and think its only an act for the gentleman.

Pps I'm not having a good just pointing out the difficulties.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore.

Have you considered attending a couples and single ladies event? Meeting people face to face, for me is far better. Xx

Noted and will maybe in the future when we have more body confidence "

I've played with couples of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life... Perhaps none of the royals mind but you get my drift. When I'm in clubs it comes down to who I find facially attractive after I've found their personalities attractive. Body isn't really the thing I think about as such. I prefer curvy women as I am one and I've been bigger than I am now so I see past the size and some of my best plays have been with women who are over size 24 and they are now good friends of mine.. all of them. I btw will only play in clubs.

You will find when you do go to the club's that we come in all shapes and sizes and no one ever bads an eyelid over a sexy BBW. I'm not saying you are in that size range at all. Just letting you know that there are plenty of people women and men who are larger than you who attended the club's and have great nights.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lienrockMan
over a year ago

Fife

Basically the Mr wants to see his Mrs in action & erotic situations but doesn't want another bloke to touch her. Its going to be a difficult find unless the single fem joining in is really keen or the other bloke in the couple feels the same as yourselfs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the input it’s all been taken under consideration

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Ps also being new and unverified will not help.

But I also wonder how many bi women will see bi curious and think its only an act for the gentleman.

Pps I'm not having a good just pointing out the difficulties.

"

Ooh good point. Or that it'll be one way, so I'll show up just to go down on a lady and not have it returned, and then the bloke doesn't play. What's in it for me, bluntly?

You're perfectly entitled to whatever boundaries you like guys, don't get me wrong, but it makes it more difficult to find people who might be interested.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lienrockMan
over a year ago

Fife

Stick in guys, what your looking for is quite a common fantasy it's just difficult on here to find exact matches. You guys can set the boundaries that you feel ok with and stick to it so I'd suggest keep looking & hopefully eventually you will find it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

There’s nothing on your profile to draw in a single fem or even a couple really.

As said above, what’s in it for them? You don’t swap, you want to “try” bi. It sound like you want a show for your man (which is fine)!and that will be hard to find.

You talk about how good he is with his cock but he’ll only be using it on you!

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been here for almost 3 months now and haven’t had a single social never mind a meet yet.

We know we haven’t got gym bodies or model looks and what we are looking for isn’t for most on here. Just want to know how long others took before their first social/meet and if it is all worth the effort on here anymore."

Clubs and socials are the way forward.

The way you look will not put people off we are not gym bodies either.

You are looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow so it will take time to find this.

We both like to watch each other have a good time so that's the only reason we might not meet up as your profile says your not looking for that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'd want to play with the make half not just put on a show for him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

[Removed by poster at 06/06/19 08:28:27]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

We dont swap and only play with ladies. It took us around a year for us to get our first meet. We randomly got invited to a social and had our first mini orgy. Then things really picked up from there. We go to clubs too, which really increased our chances. Now I'm not saying we have offers flooding in. But we have had some good times and so far they still seem to be coming. You just have to be patient. Single bi ladies on here are very far and few between. We sorta stopped looking and decided to focus on the social side of things and a few ladies just happened to find us. A few months is a few minutes in fab land. Patience is key

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Also, your bodies are in no way unacceptable or bad for clubs. Don't be down on yourself (I've been critical, but I'm trying to be constructive and I wish you well)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne


"Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx"

We are the same! I have zero interest in men but I am fully bi. I would love a hot husband scenario where I send him off with another lady to play. Or I watch them. But so many people see our dynamic and assume he's wanting to play with other women but won't let me play with other men. It's like people can't wrap their head around the fact I just don't find men attractive but I want to watch my husband play with another lady.

Also with waiting until your more body confident for clubs/socials. If you wait you will never go. I was petrified the first club I went to. I thought it would be all perfect model bodies and I'd stand out like a dumpy sore thumb. It's not like that at all. There are so many different bodies of all shapes and sizes and we have found all of them extremely welcoming. Why not try your local club just for a drink and a look around? No dressing down or playing involved. Just so you can see it's not as scary as you think it might be

Gem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx

We are the same! I have zero interest in men but I am fully bi. I would love a hot husband scenario where I send him off with another lady to play. Or I watch them. But so many people see our dynamic and assume he's wanting to play with other women but won't let me play with other men. It's like people can't wrap their head around the fact I just don't find men attractive but I want to watch my husband play with another lady.

Also with waiting until your more body confident for clubs/socials. If you wait you will never go. I was petrified the first club I went to. I thought it would be all perfect model bodies and I'd stand out like a dumpy sore thumb. It's not like that at all. There are so many different bodies of all shapes and sizes and we have found all of them extremely welcoming. Why not try your local club just for a drink and a look around? No dressing down or playing involved. Just so you can see it's not as scary as you think it might be

Gem"

Hot husband sounds great with Mrs watching, not meeting with him 1 to 1 though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne


"Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx

We are the same! I have zero interest in men but I am fully bi. I would love a hot husband scenario where I send him off with another lady to play. Or I watch them. But so many people see our dynamic and assume he's wanting to play with other women but won't let me play with other men. It's like people can't wrap their head around the fact I just don't find men attractive but I want to watch my husband play with another lady.

Also with waiting until your more body confident for clubs/socials. If you wait you will never go. I was petrified the first club I went to. I thought it would be all perfect model bodies and I'd stand out like a dumpy sore thumb. It's not like that at all. There are so many different bodies of all shapes and sizes and we have found all of them extremely welcoming. Why not try your local club just for a drink and a look around? No dressing down or playing involved. Just so you can see it's not as scary as you think it might be

Gem

Hot husband sounds great with Mrs watching, not meeting with him 1 to 1 though

"

That would be totally understandable and something I know will probably just stay a fantasy or kept exclusively for club meets. I wish the hot husband thing was as prominent as they hot wife scenario!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

UK


"Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx

We are the same! I have zero interest in men but I am fully bi. I would love a hot husband scenario where I send him off with another lady to play. Or I watch them. But so many people see our dynamic and assume he's wanting to play with other women but won't let me play with other men. It's like people can't wrap their head around the fact I just don't find men attractive but I want to watch my husband play with another lady.

Also with waiting until your more body confident for clubs/socials. If you wait you will never go. I was petrified the first club I went to. I thought it would be all perfect model bodies and I'd stand out like a dumpy sore thumb. It's not like that at all. There are so many different bodies of all shapes and sizes and we have found all of them extremely welcoming. Why not try your local club just for a drink and a look around? No dressing down or playing involved. Just so you can see it's not as scary as you think it might be

Gem"

It’s called cuckqueening. Definitely a niche that’s not as well known as cuckolding and hot wifing, but it’s a definite “thing”! Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne


"Hi its Lola. Dans other half. Just to confirm I am looking to explore my bi side and would never expect someone to go down on me and not return the favour. Also if we are lucky enough to find a single bi female (rare I know) then Im more than happy to share Dan. Its me who has no intetest in any other man. Thanks for everyones input tho and we will get new pics sorted as suggested xx

We are the same! I have zero interest in men but I am fully bi. I would love a hot husband scenario where I send him off with another lady to play. Or I watch them. But so many people see our dynamic and assume he's wanting to play with other women but won't let me play with other men. It's like people can't wrap their head around the fact I just don't find men attractive but I want to watch my husband play with another lady.

Also with waiting until your more body confident for clubs/socials. If you wait you will never go. I was petrified the first club I went to. I thought it would be all perfect model bodies and I'd stand out like a dumpy sore thumb. It's not like that at all. There are so many different bodies of all shapes and sizes and we have found all of them extremely welcoming. Why not try your local club just for a drink and a look around? No dressing down or playing involved. Just so you can see it's not as scary as you think it might be

Gem

It’s called cuckqueening. Definitely a niche that’s not as well known as cuckolding and hot wifing, but it’s a definite “thing”! Xx"

Thank you! I wasn't 100% sure what it was!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

I'd try a club. Great way to meet people. Good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

As others have said, it is possible, but the more specific you are, the harder it will be. Not saying you should change what you want, but to perhaps reassure you that it isn't likely to be you, just it's hard, particularly at first.

I think two pieces of advice not given so far:

Your profile is marketing you. Thinking about what would appeal to who you're seeking, from pics to text, is key. Take a look at who you'd like to meet and think about it from their standpoint; also look at the "competition" and see what might work for you (though please don't just copy & paste their text!).

Second, don't wait for them to come to you. Every one of our meets has come from us msging the other party first. Same applies here - show you've read their profile, sell why you'd be a good match, etc. Try and engage in a conversation - ask a question or two (and we don't mean "how's u"!!!)

In both instances, we're still learning and trying to improve.

Hope this helps x

Hmm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

More effort needs to be put into your pics. They don't need to be full on/ hardcore, but certainly better quality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

We play in many different ways MMF, MFMF, groups etc the only thing we don't do is play apart always together.

We haven't had an MFF via fab or even come close tbh we have had this experience in a swinging club though.

My wife's fully bisexual when we meet couple's she says you can tell the difference between a woman (in the other couple) who is truly bisexual and a woman who is just doing it to please her husband and me by putting on a show. My wife isn't keen on that as she's it feels forced / isn't the same.

Good luck in the hunt

K J x

Also in clubs there's bodies of all shapes and sizes and no one bats an eye lid you would fit right in x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top