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Read, not deleted...

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Squirrels are always the fucking problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cos its easier to just bulk delete at bed time than 1 at a time all day long!

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

I got attacked by one in Finsbury Park once. It was like the 'Rats of NIMH' but with nicer tails. But not that much nicer as grimy London squirrels tend to have really manky, greasy tails. And they're all on crack, apparently.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Damn squirrels I vow war!!!!

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

For me ,it means I may reply if I'm at a loose end but I'd really prefer you to elaborate with something a bit more interesting!

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

What could be happening to make a squirrel cum?

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

What could be happening to make a squirrel cum? "

It means it’s nuts are being pinched

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple sometimes we are not on at the sametime, so one of us will read a message and wait for the other to take a look, however sapphire can be brutal and just go straight for the block button

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If I'm interested I reply. Any other response means I'm not interested.

If interested they will get back to you, save your time and delete all your sent messages, it might lessen the stress and overthinking things

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By *p2norfolkngoodMan
over a year ago

Norwich

No the worst responses I have are "maybe" wtf!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, if I'm at all interested I'd reply, but then if I'm not interested I generally reply too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

If I read but don't delete it means I'm going to go back to it

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Mr does that all the time it does my head in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody squirrels the are always sneaky

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I tend to read, block, delete once a week

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs


"I tend to read, block, delete once a week"

A place in heaven awaits...

I recall messaging you on another site - I thought you looked lovely and friendly - you were very frosty though

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

So far then the consensus is that there is no consensus...

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

It could mean a number of things for us. We are waiting for the other to see, we aren't interested, I read the message whilst hiding on my phone in the loo at work with no time to reply then o forgot!! You'll never know!

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By *ngelfireWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I might not have time got reply right then, or the phone rang or something came up and then I forgot, got distracted. And fab only stores so many messages, about a day or twos worth, so if I don’t have time to reply to messages before they disappear then it’s too late!

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I’m not understanding this monitoring of sent messages. I send a message and if I get a response, fine if not then I move on.

Seeing a deleted message as a signal is fine if the receiver follows the same system if not you’ve complicated the matter. I regularly bulk delete my inbox as I’m a bit OCD but don’t think people that chat to me see it as the brush off if the convo is going well, it’s just a little housekeeping.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

There is no point whatsoever in checking your sent messages. There is no particular way that people behave once they've read a message all you are going to do is overthink things.

Once the message has gone, let it go.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We've had that a few times,we have forgotten about a message and had a reply nearly 3 weeks later lol

There are no rules to it ppl do as they please,our advice move forget about it and you never know lol

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I do this a lot then when my inbox gets too full, I just bulk delete. Haven’t got time to read every message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often squirrels for me, or I just can’t think of a response to move the conversation on, but it’s not quite dire enough to say ‘Look you’re not for me’. I’m open to gentle prodding..

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

If I'm definitely interested I reply quickly,if I've left one unanswered it may be I'm undecided .

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/05/19 17:38:45]

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


"I’m not understanding this monitoring of sent messages. I send a message and if I get a response, fine if not then I move on.

Seeing a deleted message as a signal is fine if the receiver follows the same system if not you’ve complicated the matter. I regularly bulk delete my inbox as I’m a bit OCD but don’t think people that chat to me see it as the brush off if the convo is going well, it’s just a little housekeeping. "

It's an issue of not wanting to inadvertently harass someone or generally outstay your welcome in someone's inbox. Many women specifically state on profiles that 'deleted message means no thanks', so you check to see if your message has been retained or immediately binned. It's the way this site appears to work. It's not really something I do on other sites - seems to be a peculiarity of the fab milleu.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

if I've read and not deleted I've simply forgotten to reply being sidetracked by something or lost your message

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"I tend to read, block, delete once a week

A place in heaven awaits...

I recall messaging you on another site - I thought you looked lovely and friendly - you were very frosty though "

Ladies, form an orderly queue..

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By *andy cane321Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Are red squirrels classed as ginger?

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


"Are red squirrels classed as ginger?"

More 'Titian' or 'strawberry blonde' but I think it varies according to region...

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

My mrs never deletes anything, and usually resets to appear unread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't delete unless they are really nasty or pesteres

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

It means exactly what it is,read and not deleted

Untill someone actually messages you back there is no definitive way of knowing what it means.

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

Do couples or single female accounts get the 'warning message' if you try and send a message to someone you messaged before, but they didn't reply?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Do couples or single female accounts get the 'warning message' if you try and send a message to someone you messaged before, but they didn't reply? "

Yes they do

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"Squirrels are always the fucking problem "

Best laugh of the day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you'd been chatting a while and they don't reply it could be that they didn't know what to say to your last message. Send another and see if the conversation starts again.

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By *itillatingtigerMan
over a year ago

London

why bother, if it was going to happen, it will as the squirrels always come back for seconds ( little blighters)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it means I just haven't got around to deleting the messages.

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By *zzy69Woman
over a year ago

The Lake District

I don’t delete as if someone messages me again the previous messages show ( thank heavens for the new style mailbox the old one was impossible)

If I am really not interested I will block- harsh but saves both parties wasting time.

As others have said- did you say anything interesting? Maybe you didn’t send a picture? Maybe you aren’t showing any verifications .

I would give it a day or two at least rather than pester - assuming you have a particular interest in the person- some men just send random messages to any female who happens to be online and then get arsey when they don’t reply!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just laziness. I sometimes read but I delete very little.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I only delete messages when my unread ones go off the end of the page.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Read, deleted. Unread, deleted. Both obviously mean 'Go Away and don't bother me again!'

But what about read, not deleted?

I've generally taken it to mean the other person wasn't interested either but now I'm starting to wonder if 'read but not deleted' is more of a 'you look ok but haven't said anything interesting enough yet' or 'I meant to reply but then a squirrel came and I forgot' and maybe I've been missing out. Especially in situations where there was a back and forth of messages which stopped abruptly but didn't seen to be going badly until then?

What's the hive mind consensus on this? Maybe a gentle prod, or should I just assume they're done with me and move on?

"

Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested.....

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested....."

Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

[Removed by poster at 27/05/19 20:54:31]

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


" I would give it a day or two at least rather than pester - assuming you have a particular interest in the person- some men just send random messages to any female who happens to be online and then get arsey when they don’t reply!!!!""

The absolute last thing I am is a pesterer, if anything I am erring too far on the side of caution; it occurred to me that I may have inadvertently let some genuine connections drop purely because the recipient did actually intend to continue the dialogue but got sidetracked or distracted then forgot, and out of respect I just left it and didn't attempt to pick up the conversation...

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested.....

Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!

"

I understand that but maybe it’s best to assume if you do not get a reply even if your message has been read that the recipient is not interested. If they were interested then surely they would have responded......

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Baron I think you need to get out more than reading into things on Fab. No reply means not interested.....

Well, if you read the thread you'll see that's not the case for a sizable proportion of posters. You may be right about me needing to get out more but the main reason I am using Fab to begin with is that I am trying to meet new people outside of my existing daily life and social circles in order to increase my 'getting out more' options. So it's a chicken vs egg situation, really!

I understand that but maybe it’s best to assume if you do not get a reply even if your message has been read that the recipient is not interested. If they were interested then surely they would have responded......"

... And maybe it's not? For example, you messaged me once about something fairly random, my username iirc. I took that to mean you were interested in if not a full on chat then at least being friendly. I then replied with maybe not the most interesting reply ever but I asked you about yours, and you never replied. So what am I supposed to take away from that exchange? I went from interesting to boring in the space of one phrase? And if that's really the case then maybe I need to fix up and stop being a boring cunt lol

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..

That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It just means we haven’t deleted it, it could be for many reasons but usually because we’ve jut genuinely forgotten.

There’s no rule saying you must.

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By *zzy69Woman
over a year ago

The Lake District


"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..

That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works... "

Absolutely could not agree more

I would add possibly less wanking ?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..

That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works... "

I have to disagree with you about the clubs; I've had far more success meeting people through messaging via Fab, than I did in the 10 times I visited a club as a single guy. What I would say though is; take note of a profile's verifications, because if they have mostly veris from clubs and organised socials, you're probably wasting your time messaging through Fab

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"If I'm interested I reply. Any other response means I'm not interested.

If interested they will get back to you, save your time and delete all your sent messages, it might lessen the stress and overthinking things"

This is the best advice OP

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter

My issue with clubs is that in my immediate area they're couples only. The ones that look decent are a couple of hundred miles round trip and 30 quid or so on the door, as a single guy you usually have to book a day or two in advance... It starts to turn into a big event that needs planning and so on and considering there's no guarantee that it will be busy or I'll meet anyone cool. So my aim with Fab is as much about sorting things so I know that if I go to a club on a given occasion there will at least be a friendly face or two, than it is purely about arranging meets.

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By *entakuru OP   Man
over a year ago

Exeter


"

I would add possibly less wanking ? "

Was that your hidden camera I found?

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

We normally reply to all first messages but rather lazy at bothering to delete any lol they just sit there usually

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By *r and Mrs A HornyCouple
over a year ago

coventry

So I see squirrel and pigeons fighting a lot when at work are they officially at war with each other. Red squirrel are gingers fact. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One reason why I don't always delete is because it gets rid of the message history. I like to keep it so I can remind myself who they are if they message me again.

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I use to get it all the time, and I was wondering what I was doing wrong.. I changed my profile numerous times and changed my photos... Use to read peoples profiles and send messages but to no avail.. I was getting, read, read delete, delete not read.. Could not understand where I was going wrong.... But as a single bloke your up against it... So stopped sending messages and started to go to clubs and actually met people..

That's where single men are going wrong on here. Your relying too much on this site.... Go to clubs and meet people on the real world.. Cos that actually works...

I have to disagree with you about the clubs; I've had far more success meeting people through messaging via Fab, than I did in the 10 times I visited a club as a single guy. What I would say though is; take note of a profile's verifications, because if they have mostly veris from clubs and organised socials, you're probably wasting your time messaging through Fab "

Horses for courses.. What works for one might not work for another. The OP has to find what works for him.. You said that you went to a club 10 times and nothing happend.. Who is to say on the 11th time something may of happend.. Also you have to remember the social aspect. Did you get to know people.. Did they want to know you.. Did you stand out from the crowd.. Did you ask or did you just stand around and watch.. Did you plant any seeds and then helped them grow... Some times its about being pacent..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me it means 'I have read the messages but I haven't deleted it'. There's no point interpreting it, the point is they haven't replied so move on x

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By *utsidenakedMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

If deleted read undelete it's all a sign and no reply is not good so it's a no as they don't want to get to know you at all

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By *nasuitMan
over a year ago

Ruislip

This happens to me all the time. They obviously like my beautifully crafted and eloquent message but can't be arsed to reply. Or they check my profile and then delete.

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

Why does read and deleted mean no interest?We delete all messages.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Once a message has been sent, it's really better to just get on and go about your life, including fab life, without any further thought. If and when you may get a response, you can then re-engage with the person, if you'd both like to. Ignore what you've sent, just focus on the inbox - wasting energy on what read/not deleted etc may mean is just that, wasting energy imo.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Why does read and deleted mean no interest?We delete all messages."

Some people don't delete messages, unless they're offensive etc. So someone may have received one, checked the profile and then not deleted, for any number of reasons, including just waiting the it to drop out of their visible mail area, whilst newer ones replace it. They may or may not ever get around to revisiting older messages that were read and left hanging - but my opinion is that it's better to assume that there's no interest. There are reasons, such as being interrupted at home, already having a meet planned that may become a regular fb that someone would like and they'll focus on that, meaning the read/not deleted ones might get a re-read and then a reply - but many people here don't delete messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They read it and didn't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They read it and didn't reply "

Basically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They read it and didn't reply

Basically "

This

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