FabSwingers.com forum: Vanilla partner

By *hilandHolly OP Couple
over a year ago

Newark

Ok , so who else has introduced their vanilla partner to the scene??? I was wondering how it’s worked out with you both? Hubby introduced wife into scene or vice Verda? I Holly is slowly introducing Phil into scene, we met in the vanilla world but when I was living a vanilla life I missed having fun at times. Now I’m finding partner not too fussed about the scene! How do you get around this? I don’t want to go back to vanilla as I’d miss my girlie fun...

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

A bloke not fussed about Swinging I see as a good sign, it means he’s happy with his own girl

Maybe try a few FMF’s, then couples where the girls play only, I changed my mind about full swapping at that point

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By *hilandHolly OP Couple
over a year ago

Newark

Thanks good advice xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok , so who else has introduced their vanilla partner to the scene??? I was wondering how it’s worked out with you both? Hubby introduced wife into scene or vice Verda? I Holly is slowly introducing Phil into scene, we met in the vanilla world but when I was living a vanilla life I missed having fun at times. Now I’m finding partner not too fussed about the scene! How do you get around this? I don’t want to go back to vanilla as I’d miss my girlie fun... "

Speaking from the one who was introduced, trim was a swinger and met me vanilla way. 2 weeks later he told me this is what he does and I was intrigued. He took me to a private party which ended up being a 2 girl black guys gangbang. It was sink or swim. I became a duck.

From there we went to clubs together pretty much every other weekend. It was out thing and boy have we had fun over the years.

We did start of as two people that liked each other but where not prepared for a relationship, that developed over time. That was 7 years ago and we still go to clubs. We still have fun. Not always, sometimes we just want to socialise. But we have very clear set of rules and stick to them.

We did try private meets each separately but nether of us liked it when the other went out to do a private meet so we decided against it.

We have breaks from the scene but we both know it's just part of our lives and I don't think ether us want to change that.

The level of trust and honesty is very deep. Completely and utterly trust each other and never really worry about the other playing as it's just sex.

No truth can ever hurt me any more that a lie can.

It's the best relationship I've ever had and the love is deeper than I ever thought possible.

Becoming swingers has been awesome

Xoxo

Eski

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

If a partner is not into swinging I'm not sure there is a huge amount you can do to convince them.

Some may be a little bit shy and holding back because of that, but if they have discussed it and even by the sounds of it given it a go and are still not interested or even turned off, then there is not much you can do.

Communication is a big thing and if you can talk openly then those conversations should shed some better insight than anything we could tell you.

It could be

Genuinely not bothered

Low libido

Lack of confidence

Concerns about any imbalance in attention or desirability

Concerns about body image

Concerns over heath implications

Guilt of fucking someone who is not their partner

Jealousy

Turned off by other men or women

Etc etc

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By *hilandHolly OP Couple
over a year ago

Newark

I think the single men at clubs wondering around puts him off so I said we could go to a club where there is none. X having said that he enjoyed the foursome last weekend at a party.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

How did you approach your hubby about it OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the single men at clubs wondering around puts him off so I said we could go to a club where there is none. X having said that he enjoyed the foursome last weekend at a party.

Go to couples only nights. They tend to be on Saturdays in clubs depending on the club. That will solve the single wanking zombie mob problem.

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By *hilandHolly OP Couple
over a year ago

Newark

"How did you approach your hubby about it OP? "

We just got talking about it and he said I’d have to take him sometime lol

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I think the single men at clubs wondering around puts him off so I said we could go to a club where there is none. X having said that he enjoyed the foursome last weekend at a party.

If he enjoyed the private 4 some, problem might be clubs, there’s awkward socials and etiquette, and a lot of performance pressure on us guys that people tend not to speak of!

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

As has been said couples only nights or couples only rooms are one solution.

I know the walking wanking technique is a definite turn off for the Mrs.

But also with it being relatively a new experience for him he has not had time to become desensitised to a very different environment.

Just keep talking, checking, and reassuring him. The more he can be open with you the better the result and the more you can allay his concerns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he isnt so interested in the swaps, threesomes ect, why not try some watching/cuckold? He may also like the idea of being downstairs being able to hear but not see you with a girl or another guy.

He may also enjoy being at work/out and you meeting and telling him all about it?

Just some ideas where he isnt necessarily involved but is part of the fun that he doesnt need to attend himself.

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By *hilandHolly OP Couple
over a year ago

Newark

He’s definitely not into me meeting alone and nor would I it’s a shared thing.

He did enjoy the foursome and I’m always reassuring him and checking that every is ok. He did say he really enjoyed Chunkymufin party as he felt less pressure x

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