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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

**This is not autobiographical but gathered from reading much on the forums**

A Man's Fab Journey

Sign up to fab.Straight guy,looking for women Won't put a photo in case anyone recognises me.Profile text, nah, will fill in later

So silhouette man sits back and waits for the pussy onslaught

Three days in, hmmm,send winks to a few local ladies.No response.Widen the net.... I don't really want to meet a 99 year old but doesn't seem much around in the 18-27 bracket

Sits back and waits for desperate old women to get in touch...

Send a few more winks, no response, ok I'll put a bit of profile information on."I'm a lovely cheeky respectful guy wanting to give all you girls a great time, try me, you won't be disappointed"

Tumble

Ok,put a picture on my avatar, a dick pic should get them all come running

No response.Start messaging local ladies, attach said dick pic and a couple more from different angles

Oh, user has blocked me!!!

Discover the forums, read loads of posts from guys asking why they can't get meets, decides they don't apply to him, any woman who doesn't respond is rude and probably a fake or a lesbian. Tries to post his own whinge thread but wait!.. not photo verified Oh shit!

Photo verifies himself, right this will get the fanny on side.Post his "poor me" thread, sympathy shag guaranteed at least.Still no joy

Lots of nice women on the forum from further away, message them,I don't mind travelling 200 miles, they'll be so happy to have me that they'll accommodate for me,even if their profile says different

More blocked profiles, still no replies other than a few replies to his forum post encouraging him to lose the cock pics, flesh out his profile , put up a face pic or two.No, don't need to do any of that,his profiles fine in the main and there's still plenty of pussy to conquer...

Hmmm, there's some nice looking t-girls on here too, I'm not gay or bi but maybe they'll suck me and it will be just like a woman doing it.Message a few, no replies, widen the net, try a few of the more convincing TVs...

Update the profile , looking for female and TV....Dave the CD from derby messages you, do you want him to come and suck your cock? Dave doesn't really dress like a woman, nor wear make up and a wig, but hey it's a blowjob! Ok Dave but it's our secret.Dave then drops the bombshell, can he dress at yours? He arrives looking like the builder he is.Dave is hairy all-over and has a beard.He looks ridiculous in his wife's tights but he's here now and at least you can get verified.Maybe then the women will come running and you'll be knee deep in clunge after all!

So Dave verifies you.Green tick,yay! Still no women but a bit of interest from the TV community.However the convincing ones are still elusive,most of your prospective meets are more in the HPW spectrum.Eventually you decide they look silly , you'd rather they just turned up as men and took it from there

Changes profile to bi.Will meet M F TV. Men start messaging , do you dress? Will you wear nylons with me ?

So you virtually give up trying to meet women, accept you're fab straight ,(a funny little phrase you picked up from the forums) and most of your meets are with other hairy men, both dressing up in your wives tights for mutual wanking and oral, no anal sex because that's only for the gays and you're merely bi-curious!

Then one day you get a message from Jack and Vera in Skegness.Jack is opening up to his bi-side and wants to meet a TV and play with them whilst Vera watches.Vera is shy, so all the messages are exchanged solely with Jack.You arrange a meet, Vera will be there to watch and MAY join in if she lets go her inhibitions

You drive to Skegness wearing your best sexy stockings which keep rolling down your leg as you opted for holdups instead of splashing out on a suspender belt.You sneek a quick look in the car mirror,you wish you'd bought a wig now and that lipstick looks like you've just overdosed on beetroot,but too late to do anything about it now.

You meet Jack, you ask where Vera is, she's got a headache and won't be joining but she'll say hello just so you know they're a genuine couple.Vera is dis-interestingly reading and looks up to say a quick hello.Your heart sinks a bit, Vera is 20 years older than her pictures and a few stone heavier too, you're actually slightly relieved.Jack fumbles his way into your trousers, pulls them down to your knees and starts wanking you even though you're struggling to get hard

"This isn't working , sorry" You make your apologies and leave .

"Can you still verify us" Jack shouts as you leave

You get home ,log onto fab, Jack and Vera have gone UNLOS, you laugh sadly to yourself and switch on Porn*hub

A Woman's Fab Journey:

Sign up, post a picture of your left knee

"Stunning"

"Beautiful"

"Wow"

500 messages , top of hot pics ,someone starts a forum thread about how gorgeous you are , overwhelmed you delete your account

Who has it the best lol???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The man. He's having fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Oh lord!

I think I just cracked a couple of ribs laughing so hard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing I've read in ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha that is the funniest thing I've read in ages!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Dave

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

Made me me smile, I'm sure there's some truth in that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant! made my evening! Mrs x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Can't deny, I creased at the reality of it all.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it xxx

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Fucking brilliant OP

By the way, I've met Dave from Derby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's hilarious

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Excellent. Very entertaining

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Sounds about right!

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

What a fabulous post !!!

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Thank you all, my new book

"50 Shades of Dave" is out soon

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Oh my good god that's genius.

Thats the best thing we've read on the forum for ages.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"Thank you all, my new book

"50 Shades of Dave" is out soon "
I need a copy plz

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Thank you all, my new book

"50 Shades of Dave" is out soon "

Now that is one 50 shades I would buy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Fucking brilliant OP

By the way, I've met Dave from Derby "

I know a Dave who lives in Derby...he also has a beard

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I think he’s got it in one chaps well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant! Made me laugh a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is bloody brilliant OP - best entertainment this evening

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By *ornyhornytwoCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Bravo

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

I hope you do carry on and write more about Dave's fab adventure s

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

Had a good giggle. You just need to decide who's gonna star in the movie!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant Dave!

(Ps, Vera says hi,)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol, bravo!

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By *eandHim2019Couple
over a year ago

preston

Vera put her book down when we went

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By *ouble_The_DelightCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Love it

k

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By *isnerdsCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

*clapping hands emoji*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s early but this made me laugh

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By *arly StagesCouple
over a year ago

Penwortham

O.P. you have just won poster of the year!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody brilliant

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

This should be a weekly thread, like face pic Friday, tits out Tuesday and Thursday Rant Day.

"The Weekly Adventures of Dave".

Please make it so OP.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"Thank you all, my new book

"50 Shades of Dave" is out soon "

Please can I have a signed copy? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all, my new book

"50 Shades of Dave" is out soon "

After reading your post (best thing I've read on the forums in ages), I look forward to seeing this book.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very good op!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/19 07:08:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/19 07:08:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hilarious and so true

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Nice one Clare - very good indeed.

Might check out Skegness now, in search of Vera...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow some one has time to kill how long did that take to type

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

It was an organic stream of consciousness lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha!! Brilliant!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It was an organic stream of consciousness lol"

Well it’s a popular one and made me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But wrong i snap my fingers unlike thanos nobody vanishes but all come running but that was funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For someone who gets bored after one paragraph, I thoroughly enjoyed reading right to the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely brilliant but you forgot the bit where just before the tv’s they try us fat birds thinking we’re all desperate, but we’re not, they cant cope with the knock back so send back a load of abuse

You made me laugh when I’m on a real downer, thanks so much xxx

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

So funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It was an organic stream of consciousness lol"

Genuinely so well written!

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By *hil LandererMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Far too much spare time in your hands

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

That's really made me cry laughing

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Absolutely brilliant but you forgot the bit where just before the tv’s they try us fat birds thinking we’re all desperate, but we’re not, they cant cope with the knock back so send back a load of abuse

You made me laugh when I’m on a real downer, thanks so much xxx "

I'm so sorry I forgot the fat birds lol, he was too busy being rejected by the desperate 99 year olds on here , a much maligned and surprisingly large contingent

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By *terling2017Woman
over a year ago

birmingham


"**This is not autobiographical but gathered from reading much on the forums**

A Man's Fab Journey

Sign up to fab.Straight guy,looking for women Won't put a photo in case anyone recognises me.Profile text, nah, will fill in later

So silhouette man sits back and waits for the pussy onslaught

Three days in, hmmm,send winks to a few local ladies.No response.Widen the net.... I don't really want to meet a 99 year old but doesn't seem much around in the 18-27 bracket

Sits back and waits for desperate old women to get in touch...

Send a few more winks, no response, ok I'll put a bit of profile information on."I'm a lovely cheeky respectful guy wanting to give all you girls a great time, try me, you won't be disappointed"

Tumble

Ok,put a picture on my avatar, a dick pic should get them all come running

No response.Start messaging local ladies, attach said dick pic and a couple more from different angles

Oh, user has blocked me!!!

Discover the forums, read loads of posts from guys asking why they can't get meets, decides they don't apply to him, any woman who doesn't respond is rude and probably a fake or a lesbian. Tries to post his own whinge thread but wait!.. not photo verified Oh shit!

Photo verifies himself, right this will get the fanny on side.Post his "poor me" thread, sympathy shag guaranteed at least.Still no joy

Lots of nice women on the forum from further away, message them,I don't mind travelling 200 miles, they'll be so happy to have me that they'll accommodate for me,even if their profile says different

More blocked profiles, still no replies other than a few replies to his forum post encouraging him to lose the cock pics, flesh out his profile , put up a face pic or two.No, don't need to do any of that,his profiles fine in the main and there's still plenty of pussy to conquer...

Hmmm, there's some nice looking t-girls on here too, I'm not gay or bi but maybe they'll suck me and it will be just like a woman doing it.Message a few, no replies, widen the net, try a few of the more convincing TVs...

Update the profile , looking for female and TV....Dave the CD from derby messages you, do you want him to come and suck your cock? Dave doesn't really dress like a woman, nor wear make up and a wig, but hey it's a blowjob! Ok Dave but it's our secret.Dave then drops the bombshell, can he dress at yours? He arrives looking like the builder he is.Dave is hairy all-over and has a beard.He looks ridiculous in his wife's tights but he's here now and at least you can get verified.Maybe then the women will come running and you'll be knee deep in clunge after all!

So Dave verifies you.Green tick,yay! Still no women but a bit of interest from the TV community.However the convincing ones are still elusive,most of your prospective meets are more in the HPW spectrum.Eventually you decide they look silly , you'd rather they just turned up as men and took it from there

Changes profile to bi.Will meet M F TV. Men start messaging , do you dress? Will you wear nylons with me ?

So you virtually give up trying to meet women, accept you're fab straight ,(a funny little phrase you picked up from the forums) and most of your meets are with other hairy men, both dressing up in your wives tights for mutual wanking and oral, no anal sex because that's only for the gays and you're merely bi-curious!

Then one day you get a message from Jack and Vera in Skegness.Jack is opening up to his bi-side and wants to meet a TV and play with them whilst Vera watches.Vera is shy, so all the messages are exchanged solely with Jack.You arrange a meet, Vera will be there to watch and MAY join in if she lets go her inhibitions

You drive to Skegness wearing your best sexy stockings which keep rolling down your leg as you opted for holdups instead of splashing out on a suspender belt.You sneek a quick look in the car mirror,you wish you'd bought a wig now and that lipstick looks like you've just overdosed on beetroot,but too late to do anything about it now.

You meet Jack, you ask where Vera is, she's got a headache and won't be joining but she'll say hello just so you know they're a genuine couple.Vera is dis-interestingly reading and looks up to say a quick hello.Your heart sinks a bit, Vera is 20 years older than her pictures and a few stone heavier too, you're actually slightly relieved.Jack fumbles his way into your trousers, pulls them down to your knees and starts wanking you even though you're struggling to get hard

"This isn't working , sorry" You make your apologies and leave .

"Can you still verify us" Jack shouts as you leave

You get home ,log onto fab, Jack and Vera have gone UNLOS, you laugh sadly to yourself and switch on Porn*hub

A Woman's Fab Journey:

Sign up, post a picture of your left knee

"Stunning"

"Beautiful"

"Wow"

500 messages , top of hot pics ,someone starts a forum thread about how gorgeous you are , overwhelmed you delete your account

Who has it the best lol???

Best laugh I've had all week....And true to a certain extent....lol

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that’s how it happened. Wonder why I didn’t see that myself. Maybe I should change my name to Dave. I was told recently I looked like a Dave

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By *terling2017Woman
over a year ago

birmingham


"**This is not autobiographical but gathered from reading much on the forums**

A Man's Fab Journey

Sign up to fab.Straight guy,looking for women Won't put a photo in case anyone recognises me.Profile text, nah, will fill in later

So silhouette man sits back and waits for the pussy onslaught

Three days in, hmmm,send winks to a few local ladies.No response.Widen the net.... I don't really want to meet a 99 year old but doesn't seem much around in the 18-27 bracket

Sits back and waits for desperate old women to get in touch...

Send a few more winks, no response, ok I'll put a bit of profile information on."I'm a lovely cheeky respectful guy wanting to give all you girls a great time, try me, you won't be disappointed"

Tumble

Ok,put a picture on my avatar, a dick pic should get them all come running

No response.Start messaging local ladies, attach said dick pic and a couple more from different angles

Oh, user has blocked me!!!

Discover the forums, read loads of posts from guys asking why they can't get meets, decides they don't apply to him, any woman who doesn't respond is rude and probably a fake or a lesbian. Tries to post his own whinge thread but wait!.. not photo verified Oh shit!

Photo verifies himself, right this will get the fanny on side.Post his "poor me" thread, sympathy shag guaranteed at least.Still no joy

Lots of nice women on the forum from further away, message them,I don't mind travelling 200 miles, they'll be so happy to have me that they'll accommodate for me,even if their profile says different

More blocked profiles, still no replies other than a few replies to his forum post encouraging him to lose the cock pics, flesh out his profile , put up a face pic or two.No, don't need to do any of that,his profiles fine in the main and there's still plenty of pussy to conquer...

Hmmm, there's some nice looking t-girls on here too, I'm not gay or bi but maybe they'll suck me and it will be just like a woman doing it.Message a few, no replies, widen the net, try a few of the more convincing TVs...

Update the profile , looking for female and TV....Dave the CD from derby messages you, do you want him to come and suck your cock? Dave doesn't really dress like a woman, nor wear make up and a wig, but hey it's a blowjob! Ok Dave but it's our secret.Dave then drops the bombshell, can he dress at yours? He arrives looking like the builder he is.Dave is hairy all-over and has a beard.He looks ridiculous in his wife's tights but he's here now and at least you can get verified.Maybe then the women will come running and you'll be knee deep in clunge after all!

So Dave verifies you.Green tick,yay! Still no women but a bit of interest from the TV community.However the convincing ones are still elusive,most of your prospective meets are more in the HPW spectrum.Eventually you decide they look silly , you'd rather they just turned up as men and took it from there

Changes profile to bi.Will meet M F TV. Men start messaging , do you dress? Will you wear nylons with me ?

So you virtually give up trying to meet women, accept you're fab straight ,(a funny little phrase you picked up from the forums) and most of your meets are with other hairy men, both dressing up in your wives tights for mutual wanking and oral, no anal sex because that's only for the gays and you're merely bi-curious!

Then one day you get a message from Jack and Vera in Skegness.Jack is opening up to his bi-side and wants to meet a TV and play with them whilst Vera watches.Vera is shy, so all the messages are exchanged solely with Jack.You arrange a meet, Vera will be there to watch and MAY join in if she lets go her inhibitions

You drive to Skegness wearing your best sexy stockings which keep rolling down your leg as you opted for holdups instead of splashing out on a suspender belt.You sneek a quick look in the car mirror,you wish you'd bought a wig now and that lipstick looks like you've just overdosed on beetroot,but too late to do anything about it now.

You meet Jack, you ask where Vera is, she's got a headache and won't be joining but she'll say hello just so you know they're a genuine couple.Vera is dis-interestingly reading and looks up to say a quick hello.Your heart sinks a bit, Vera is 20 years older than her pictures and a few stone heavier too, you're actually slightly relieved.Jack fumbles his way into your trousers, pulls them down to your knees and starts wanking you even though you're struggling to get hard

"This isn't working , sorry" You make your apologies and leave .

"Can you still verify us" Jack shouts as you leave

You get home ,log onto fab, Jack and Vera have gone UNLOS, you laugh sadly to yourself and switch on Porn*hub

A Woman's Fab Journey:

Sign up, post a picture of your left knee

"Stunning"

"Beautiful"

"Wow"

500 messages , top of hot pics ,someone starts a forum thread about how gorgeous you are , overwhelmed you delete your account

Who has it the best lol???

Best laugh I've had all week....And true to a certain extent....lol

"

10 minutes later and I'm still laughing...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work of genius. Should be part of every fab males induction pack. Just before the walk round Fab Towers and the talk about Platinum m_mbership.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this, thank you for making me giggle xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only just seen this.

Bravo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read this from the other thread about it, absolutely hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cracked me up. Esp the left knee bit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loved this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different class

Best abd most hilarious post I've ever read or am likely to read

Takes posting to a whole new level and best piece of fact-based comic observational writing I've ever read in my life.

Staggering talent

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By *ertnsarahCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Love it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm impressed you have so much time on your hands OP to type an opus like that. Well put thought, glad my experience has been better though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This made me laugh out loud x

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By *DSGCouple
over a year ago

That place in

Brilliant round of applause here

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm waiting for dave 2...and later ...Dave the 55+ years

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Thank you all for your appreciative comments, it's nice to know I've put a smile on a few faces xx

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Hilarious and a brilliant piece of satire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really could be a book idea..or tv series.

Or maybe outside the Fab world they would never get the joke

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By *ySweetLadyWoman
over a year ago

London


"**This is not autobiographical but gathered from reading much on the forums**

A Man's Fab Journey

Sign up to fab.Straight guy,looking for women Won't put a photo in case anyone recognises me.Profile text, nah, will fill in later

So silhouette man sits back and waits for the pussy onslaught

Three days in, hmmm,send winks to a few local ladies.No response.Widen the net.... I don't really want to meet a 99 year old but doesn't seem much around in the 18-27 bracket

Sits back and waits for desperate old women to get in touch...

Send a few more winks, no response, ok I'll put a bit of profile information on."I'm a lovely cheeky respectful guy wanting to give all you girls a great time, try me, you won't be disappointed"

Tumble

Ok,put a picture on my avatar, a dick pic should get them all come running

No response.Start messaging local ladies, attach said dick pic and a couple more from different angles

Oh, user has blocked me!!!

Discover the forums, read loads of posts from guys asking why they can't get meets, decides they don't apply to him, any woman who doesn't respond is rude and probably a fake or a lesbian. Tries to post his own whinge thread but wait!.. not photo verified Oh shit!

Photo verifies himself, right this will get the fanny on side.Post his "poor me" thread, sympathy shag guaranteed at least.Still no joy

Lots of nice women on the forum from further away, message them,I don't mind travelling 200 miles, they'll be so happy to have me that they'll accommodate for me,even if their profile says different

More blocked profiles, still no replies other than a few replies to his forum post encouraging him to lose the cock pics, flesh out his profile , put up a face pic or two.No, don't need to do any of that,his profiles fine in the main and there's still plenty of pussy to conquer...

Hmmm, there's some nice looking t-girls on here too, I'm not gay or bi but maybe they'll suck me and it will be just like a woman doing it.Message a few, no replies, widen the net, try a few of the more convincing TVs...

Update the profile , looking for female and TV....Dave the CD from derby messages you, do you want him to come and suck your cock? Dave doesn't really dress like a woman, nor wear make up and a wig, but hey it's a blowjob! Ok Dave but it's our secret.Dave then drops the bombshell, can he dress at yours? He arrives looking like the builder he is.Dave is hairy all-over and has a beard.He looks ridiculous in his wife's tights but he's here now and at least you can get verified.Maybe then the women will come running and you'll be knee deep in clunge after all!

So Dave verifies you.Green tick,yay! Still no women but a bit of interest from the TV community.However the convincing ones are still elusive,most of your prospective meets are more in the HPW spectrum.Eventually you decide they look silly , you'd rather they just turned up as men and took it from there

Changes profile to bi.Will meet M F TV. Men start messaging , do you dress? Will you wear nylons with me ?

So you virtually give up trying to meet women, accept you're fab straight ,(a funny little phrase you picked up from the forums) and most of your meets are with other hairy men, both dressing up in your wives tights for mutual wanking and oral, no anal sex because that's only for the gays and you're merely bi-curious!

Then one day you get a message from Jack and Vera in Skegness.Jack is opening up to his bi-side and wants to meet a TV and play with them whilst Vera watches.Vera is shy, so all the messages are exchanged solely with Jack.You arrange a meet, Vera will be there to watch and MAY join in if she lets go her inhibitions

You drive to Skegness wearing your best sexy stockings which keep rolling down your leg as you opted for holdups instead of splashing out on a suspender belt.You sneek a quick look in the car mirror,you wish you'd bought a wig now and that lipstick looks like you've just overdosed on beetroot,but too late to do anything about it now.

You meet Jack, you ask where Vera is, she's got a headache and won't be joining but she'll say hello just so you know they're a genuine couple.Vera is dis-interestingly reading and looks up to say a quick hello.Your heart sinks a bit, Vera is 20 years older than her pictures and a few stone heavier too, you're actually slightly relieved.Jack fumbles his way into your trousers, pulls them down to your knees and starts wanking you even though you're struggling to get hard

"This isn't working , sorry" You make your apologies and leave .

"Can you still verify us" Jack shouts as you leave

You get home ,log onto fab, Jack and Vera have gone UNLOS, you laugh sadly to yourself and switch on Porn*hub

A Woman's Fab Journey:

Sign up, post a picture of your left knee

"Stunning"

"Beautiful"

"Wow"

500 messages , top of hot pics ,someone starts a forum thread about how gorgeous you are , overwhelmed you delete your account

Who has it the best lol???

"

So so funny. Still laughing.

I agree with Early Stages, you have won poster of the year.

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

Great post thanks op

Oh how I rem_mber my fab journey well before being saved by Mrs sofa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfect lol.

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By *onabardMan
over a year ago

Warks - Worcs - Gloucs

Genius op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice one, OP

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Vera was reading 50 shades of Dave!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This kind of wonderful post is why I love the forums.

Thank you OP!

Miss Vx

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Fantastic read. Dave lol

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By *umKinkwithUsCouple
over a year ago

Camberley

This is brilliant had us both in stitches x

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Read this through a few times now. Love it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looool that is jokes!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Absolutely love this

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

[Removed by poster at 20/05/19 12:52:25]

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Honestly the more I read this the funnier it gets. x

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

That is my favourite thread post in ever!!!

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By *hortfuseWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

-chuckles- brilliant!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% agree with the previous sentiments. You must write some more, your ever growing fanbase demands it.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Late to this post, but made me laugh out loud .... brilliant

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

I'll start on the Adventures of Derby Dave when I get time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such talent in one so young.... thank you so much for sharing

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Young??? You can be my new best friend lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great forum read and very funny, very talented

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Young??? You can be my new best friend lol "

Now that would be a friendship worth having

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Young??? You can be my new best friend lol

Now that would be a friendship worth having "

If only you were a bit nearer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Young??? You can be my new best friend lol

Now that would be a friendship worth having

If only you were a bit nearer!"

Not even pen pals?

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By *azpiz1Man
over a year ago

Camberley

A superb piece of writing!

Funny, insightful, and oh so true!

More please!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Brilliant. There could be an alternative scenario where Vera isn't there lol. Funniest post I've read in ages OP, love it.

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By *n4MotionMan
over a year ago

Essex

Classic

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I'm fairly new to the forums and have only just come across this post. It's a masterpiece! Thought I'd give it a bump for those that missed it the first time round or for people to enjoy again.

Thanks for this Clare, so funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant!.... hmm.... I'm here posting on the forums....at least i know what stage I'm at!

And. .I'd still prefer to be male, at least you know if a woman is really interested, rather than recieve 100s of what may as eell be 'you'll do' messages maybe? With a pinch of a few good guys I'm sure...just a thought

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Very funny. I’m so glad that hasn’t been my experience. #NeverMetDave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your experience OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant write up ... but Vera did contact me directly after.....to find out where I got my hold ups as Jack got turned on by them

Dave x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Bloody Dave did my roof, what a lad

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Haha that's so funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Different class

Best abd most hilarious post I've ever read or am likely to read

Takes posting to a whole new level and best piece of fact-based comic observational writing I've ever read in my life.

Staggering talent "

Have to say I agree with this. Genuinely a most wonderful piece of observational writing.

A must read for the new men on fab. Hilarious x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Oh sh.t my next step on your list is

I'm not gay or bi but maybe they'll suck me and it will be just like a woman

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By *ex-a-frolicsCouple
over a year ago

Brizzle

Comedy gold, commenting so the OH can have a laugh later. Thanks.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

Absolutely freekin love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid everybody called Jack and Vera and from Manchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s very funny and well worth the read.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

So glad this was bumped. Hilarious x

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By *oirinMarkusCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands and West London

Nailed it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone’s got time to burn op

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Disturbingly accurate, I'm sure, and a fantastic read.

Especially as you could almost feel the single guy's increasing desperation

Although I am now smugly ahead of the curve as my first meet was with an actual woman!!

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Wondering why nobody signposted this to me when I first signed up.

It should be compulsory reading

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wondering why nobody signposted this to me when I first signed up.

It should be compulsory reading

Brilliant

"

Check out Clare's green arrow

" help get me started in Staffordshire"

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Green arrow? What's that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm fairly new to the forums and have only just come across this post. It's a masterpiece! Thought I'd give it a bump for those that missed it the first time round or for people to enjoy again.

Thanks for this Clare, so funny "

Good bump

Great read and so funny - thanks Clare

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork


"Green arrow? What's that? "

He was the partner to green lantern.

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Thank you all, I'm glad those new to the forums enjoyed it

And thanks to Lisa Belle for the bump! I did sort of pre-bump on another thread but was in two minds whether to open this one again, however it's still just as true !

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


" What's your experience OP?"

I'm currently shacked up with Dave in a caravan park in Skegness,waiting for the swelling to go down

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Fantastic!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *parksAbiWoman
over a year ago

Anywhere I like

Legendary post Op. Bloody brilliant!! Bravo Bravo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a different post and a welcome change x

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port


"Thank you all, I'm glad those new to the forums enjoyed it

And thanks to Lisa Belle for the bump! I did sort of pre-bump on another thread but was in two minds whether to open this one again, however it's still just as true ! "

I'm good at bumping

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Just as funny reading it for the second time xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The woman cos of the ratio is about 100 to 1 lol.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Just re read the OP, laugh g again lol

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

I'm going to shamelessly bump this thread as it's forum awards time tomorrow.Vote for me! Go on! I spent hours writing this tripe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm going to shamelessly bump this thread as it's forum awards time tomorrow.Vote for me! Go on! I spent hours writing this tripe "
shame shame

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

Well you should definitely win an award.

I can't believe I've only just come across this as I'm on here most days. Makes me wonder what else I might have missed.

Anyway way its made me smile on a cold dark evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This made me giggle, thanks!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody brilliant!! Lmao!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg that was hilarious. Thanks OP, best post I've read in ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao think I peed a little

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckmesideways hammer nail head, with one or two exceptions to that rule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did I miss this?

Fuzz

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Brilliant - admin should make every new guy read this so they know what to expect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm howling with laughter

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By *hisguy84Man
over a year ago

Jersey

This is amazing. Possibly the best things I’ve read on this site, ever!

I feel he missed a trick by not posting a photo of his junk up against a Lynx Africa can. That’s how most guys get the pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fuck!! I thought me and dave had something special, the bastard

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

I've been asked to post this in the Irish forum, didn't know there was one! So if anybody sees it, it hasn't been plagiarized

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck me someone had too much time on their hands

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

That's the funniest thread I've read in forever, thank you

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By *ust Clare OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

I'm pleased ,proud and a little bit embarrassed to say that this thread won Funniest thread and Best Overall thread in the Fab Forum awards.

I enjoyed writing it and glad so many enjoyed reading it!Even those who may have recognised a little bit of themselves lol

Epilogue:

Jack and Vera have left Skegness and moved to Benidorm for the winter.'Jac' is still discovering his bi-side, dropped the 'k' from his name,and swapped his pints of beer for Dubonnet,a pink shirt and espadrilles

Vera has finished her book

Dave from Derby,in an attempt to lose the hairy builder tag,has discovered Veet.Unfortunately,he didn't read the instructions but will be renewing his Fab account when he is discharged from the burns unit

Our hero meanwhile is happily settled in a domestic partnership with a horticulturalist named Brett

As for me? I'm negotiating the film rights with Richard Curtiss!

J.C. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent thread, very funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems pretty accurate, OP

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

This is the best thing I have read. I really enjoyed it..just brilliant

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Ps...I'd definitely watch the film version

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolute genius!! X

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Hahhahaaa this is brilliant

None of it is relatable though thank god

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it! Great read!

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By *mileyLadyWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge


"This is amazing. Possibly the best things I’ve read on this site, ever!

I feel he missed a trick by not posting a photo of his junk up against a Lynx Africa can. That’s how most guys get the pussy."

Best photo I saw on a profile was of a guy with his semi erect cock up next to his Sky remote for a sense of scale. I wanted to caption it 'My two favourite things'

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port


"Hahhahaaa this is brilliant

None of it is relatable though thank god "

Oh I can relate to quite a lot of it

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"**This is not autobiographical but gathered from reading much on the forums**

A Man's Fab Journey.......

"

Snipped cos so long but that was fucking funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant OP! You’ve got fab really sussed!

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

It’s great. Well written and funny.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Definately thread of the year, love the epilogue too. Thanks OP. Xxxx

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

Brilliant! The funniest thread I've read, if a little close to home.

Dave in Benidorm x

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"Ps...I'd definitely watch the film version "

HaHa yes that would be hilarious...Brilliant!!

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

Spot on. All my meets with women on here have been at organised parties or in a club. Not for want of messaging women on here. Never pushy, clean articulate but no joy. Hence stick to what works.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I'm pleased ,proud and a little bit embarrassed to say that this thread won Funniest thread and Best Overall thread in the Fab Forum awards.

I enjoyed writing it and glad so many enjoyed reading it!Even those who may have recognised a little bit of themselves lol

Epilogue:

Jack and Vera have left Skegness and moved to Benidorm for the winter.'Jac' is still discovering his bi-side, dropped the 'k' from his name,and swapped his pints of beer for Dubonnet,a pink shirt and espadrilles

Vera has finished her book

Dave from Derby,in an attempt to lose the hairy builder tag,has discovered Veet.Unfortunately,he didn't read the instructions but will be renewing his Fab account when he is discharged from the burns unit

Our hero meanwhile is happily settled in a domestic partnership with a horticulturalist named Brett

As for me? I'm negotiating the film rights with Richard Curtiss!

J.C. xx"

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