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Submissive high/low

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By *northodoxme OP   Man
over a year ago

Hampshire/Sheffield

I read somewhere recently about the comedown after being flogged etc. I think it must’ve been on this site somewhere. Can’t find it now. I was wondering if someone could point me in the right direction or recommend some literature on the subject? Thanks J.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

You could be referring either to "sub space", which is more of a mentally stimulated natural high during play, or more likely "sub drop" which is a feeling of being down after play - I don't know a great deal about either to be honest but there are some great looking threads on them if you use the forum search feature using those names.

Alternately am sure someone with experience of them will be along soon to expand further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub drop is caused by a fast decrease in endorphins or Adrenalin after a bdsm session or scene.

The come down from this can affect a submissive emotionally, and sometimes physically.

However, there is also a possibility of the dominant experiencing this too.

Have experienced this quite a few times after playing with my dominant. I tend to feel quite flat and very low, and sometimes very teary. But I know it affects many people in different ways. The most important thing is to put after care in to place. This can be simple things like cuddling with our dominant after playing, to having a relaxing bath or playing favourite music.

When my dominant and I have played and separate at the end of the day, we always ensure we speak on the phone in the way home (safely and legally of course). It just means that separation is done gradually rather than a goodbye and then and complete cut off from each other. We also do things like take a shower together after play. We find this helps a lot.

If you have any other questions you’re very welcome to message xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sub drop is caused by a fast decrease in endorphins or Adrenalin after a bdsm session or scene.

The come down from this can affect a submissive emotionally, and sometimes physically.

However, there is also a possibility of the dominant experiencing this too.

Have experienced this quite a few times after playing with my dominant. I tend to feel quite flat and very low, and sometimes very teary. But I know it affects many people in different ways. The most important thing is to put after care in to place. This can be simple things like cuddling with our dominant after playing, to having a relaxing bath or playing favourite music.

When my dominant and I have played and separate at the end of the day, we always ensure we speak on the phone in the way home (safely and legally of course). It just means that separation is done gradually rather than a goodbye and then and complete cut off from each other. We also do things like take a shower together after play. We find this helps a lot.

If you have any other questions you’re very welcome to message xx "

This is very well explained and accurate.

Each submissive experiences this differently and also it will be different depending on how you played.

Aftercare can mitigate the worst of these feelings but feeling flat and emotional for days after is common. In Avery similar way to feeling flat and emotional after an accident or stressful incident.

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By *northodoxme OP   Man
over a year ago

Hampshire/Sheffield

Thanks for the information. I couldn’t remember the terms so didn’t know what to search. Appreciate the help. J.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are different kinds of 'Drops'. Some being physical, the others being emotional.

It's quite common for those seeking to explore and break boundaries.. to hit a bit of reality wall as they realise what they've just done.

They may start to feel a little ashamed of themselves. Close down emotionally to process.

Maybe a-shame-drop is something else entirely? Or maybe there are other emotion-linked drops that hit people after intense physical/emotional interaction.

Not to be confused with the-cat that-got-the-cream-and-can-no-longer-be-arsed-to-communicate-now-i-got-what-it-wanted Faux-drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there are different kinds of 'Drops'. Some being physical, the others being emotional.

It's quite common for those seeking to explore and break boundaries.. to hit a bit of reality wall as they realise what they've just done.

They may start to feel a little ashamed of themselves. Close down emotionally to process.

Maybe a-shame-drop is something else entirely? Or maybe there are other emotion-linked drops that hit people after intense physical/emotional interaction.

Not to be confused with the-cat that-got-the-cream-and-can-no-longer-be-arsed-to-communicate-now-i-got-what-it-wanted Faux-drop.

"

Yes. I experience strong anticlimax weirdness after amazing sex or a full on party. I think it’s the aftereffects of such a strong release of adrenaline and endorphins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kinda giggle after alonger beating spanking my brain turns off to the pain and I start to giggle.sometimes even after a few hrs i can't stop laughing. On a cross one day they had to drag the Dom of me. Because my whole body was on fire and I just laughed in the come face. The room didn't know what to do.And someone realised the Dom was lossing his temper.

I was only ment to get a light flogging.

And my Mistress went nuts when she found out.she was in a room doing something else.

The Dom forgot to tell me a safe word.

Plus am only sub to females so my brain wouldn't let me sub to a male.

So I laughed at him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have burst in tears after a really good session

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have burst in tears after a really good session"

I can relate to this. Almost feel like something has been taken away from me. Very unique and sometimes intense feeling xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sub drop is caused by a fast decrease in endorphins or Adrenalin after a bdsm session or scene.

The come down from this can affect a submissive emotionally, and sometimes physically.

However, there is also a possibility of the dominant experiencing this too.

Have experienced this quite a few times after playing with my dominant. I tend to feel quite flat and very low, and sometimes very teary. But I know it affects many people in different ways. The most important thing is to put after care in to place. This can be simple things like cuddling with our dominant after playing, to having a relaxing bath or playing favourite music.

When my dominant and I have played and separate at the end of the day, we always ensure we speak on the phone in the way home (safely and legally of course). It just means that separation is done gradually rather than a goodbye and then and complete cut off from each other. We also do things like take a shower together after play. We find this helps a lot.

If you have any other questions you’re very welcome to message xx "

This

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I do suffer from sub-drop. My Dom always makes time for holding me and cuddling after a session but I feel it most the day after.

I generally just feel down and upset, occasionally tearful and over emotional but the enjoyment from a good session with him is definitely worth it.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I’ve seen so many in sub space, it can be quite lovely but unfortunately and rarely it can be the person going into shock especially first time hard play you really have to be aware of this and fully support your submissive learn everything you can and play safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have burst in tears after a really good session"

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By *adylydfordWoman
over a year ago

altinkum

I suffer from this too it seams.. i didnt realise till i found this thread. I thought i was just being stupid cos im in that awquard place with my dom Fb. I thought it was just me missing him after being with him. Didnt equate it to the sub dom dynamic

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"I suffer from this too it seams.. i didnt realise till i found this thread. I thought i was just being stupid cos im in that awquard place with my dom Fb. I thought it was just me missing him after being with him. Didnt equate it to the sub dom dynamic"

There was a thread a few weeks ago simply titled 'sub drop' it had loads of advice on how to deal with this issue. Might be worth a forum search and having a read of it.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Sub drop & Top drop. One or both, can suffer from it after an intese play.

Some never exsperiance drop, some just every now and then.

Checking on on each other in the hours and few days after a play helps. Communication is very key. Planning aftercare, warm blankets, sweets, cuddle warm bath, ect after a sceane can be a major help. Emotions and endohpines run high during play. The come down is very real.

Morgan Thorn, is a great writter of BDSM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ironically, I commented on this a few days ago, and am now on the middle of a drop.

Had an amazing and intense time today. My Master included lots of care afterwards. After we have played I wear his top home that smells like him. It’s like a comfort blanket.

We spoke on the way home, and he has been constantly checking on me this evening. I find it helps to talk about other things, so we are getting deep and meaningful about history. It’s like a distraction.

What helped too was organising when we are seeing each other next.

I don’t think there are any set ways to help with sub drop. You need to find what works for you, but the main thing is receiving support and care from your partner.

I have to say though.. no matter how I feel after a play session, it was bloody worth it

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