FabSwingers.com forum: Admitting your Bisexual to GF???

By *oinfc188 OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

So I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. Although we get on extremely well, the sex has always been pretty basic. However, due to a job change I was forced to move house recently.

The time apart has made us both extremely horny and revealed a naughtier side to her I never knew existed (not quite Fab-level of naughty). We chatted through text and video and discussed numerous sexual things we wanted to try. Surprisingly, she revealed she would be willing to use her vibrator on my ass. I was a bit shocked as she asked if I would prefer her vibrator or her fingers up my ass. She joked that she fears it might turn me gay but she has no idea I have played with guys in the past.

Just curious about how other guys told their partners they are bisexual? Not sure if I would ever be brave enough to tell her but part of me wants her to know.

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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago

taunton

Tread ver carefully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe test the ground with her thoughts on convicing tranny's&T-Girls be surprise lot of women love the thought of feminine T-Girl my ex certainly did...another story thou haha Try her with some Bisex porn see reation ask her if another guy sucking your Cock turns her on...I know plenty of women over years it drives wild...they have loved see another guy suck my cock before long they sucking his...away ya go..Anyway Good luck had lot of fun with this over years..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interested in how this turns out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took mine 9 months to tell me & it have made absolutely no difference to our relationship if a person can be there selfs what is the point in living + it turns me on watching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t even be there true selves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. Although we get on extremely well, the sex has always been pretty basic. However, due to a job change I was forced to move house recently.

Just curious about how other guys told their partners they are bisexual? Not sure if I would ever be brave enough to tell her but part of me wants her to know.

You’re 27, you’re young. Is she the one? If you don’t think so then there’s no harm in telling her. And also equally, if you think she is then tell her too. You’re still in a good position to move on if she reacts badly. However if she really likes you then she’ll be accepting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you fancy her brother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know that you are on fab? Not judging, just maybe a way of easing in to it. Look at the pros and cons of telling her, can you trust her not to out you to friends or family if the relationship doesn't work out. Good luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well hiding bi sexuality becomes an increasingly futile thing. It's much better to be honest with your partner as the trust element is so important in a relationship. How will you suppress you Bisexuality if you don't. Will you end up cheating on her which is to be avoided if possible in my opinion.

I must admit coming out to Mrs N was very daunting and I find it's an exciting journey. She seems to really like it nowadays so it's all been good. I think your g/f might be a naughty adventurous lady so like most people say, test things out a bit, playfully mention it and see what she says.

Good luck

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By *anni and RicCouple
over a year ago

York

Following

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't need to. Mrs MP knew when we met. Although it was around 18months later before we started in this life and she love seeing me play with another guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her! Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If she'd judge you for it, are you not best off out of it?

Might wanna tell her about fab while you're at it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alarm trigger. You go away and all of a sudden she gets kinky, maybe ask if her other fella is up for an MMF?

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By *i amy cdTV/TS
over a year ago

leicester

I told my gf within 2 weeks of meeting her, she was fine with it all as I was honest and open from the start x

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Be honest.

If you are monagamous and faithful, mention that this happened in the past.

Reassure her that you are not interested in anyone else, of either gender.

I'd probably mention fab as a past activity as well.

Don't go on about it but answer any questions, and let her curiosity do the rest. But go at her speed, don't try to force it.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

It was the other way around with us, R said she was bi quite soon after we'd got together. I was pleased rather than upset! It led to us taking up swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Introduce strap-on play and let the conversation flow

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By *rAndMrsCurious12Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

During shared porn watching of a Bi MMF threeway I said how much that turned me on, would you like to see me sucking cock etc, the conversation quickly made us both understand how we wanted the fantasy turned into reality.

Hope that helps x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m guessing she doesn’t know you’re on here? If you say the sex is basic and you’re now identifying to being bisexual, you’re not really being fair on her tbh.

Maybe have a sit down chat and see what her thoughts are on being open/exploring with outside partners.

I talk from experience. The desire for men won’t shift, you’ll end up cheating and it’ll cause huge issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're lying to her by being on here.

And she will want to know how you are expressing your Bi side.

You're cheating on her.

Do her a favour and tell her.

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By *rkeb3Man
over a year ago

east Lancashire road

U said she feared of u turning gay by vibrator I can only imagine what will say as soon as u tell her that's no go for me ur decision tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too short, face up to what you are and be honest with people. It is kinder on you and your partners. There is no way I could live a lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Consider whether you need that element in your life during the relationship and balance that with your perception of the risk that it might end the relationship.

Unfortunately the risk isn't insignificant. This part of life is one where even the nicest women can be rampant hypecrites and be under no illusions, whether she is bi herself or not is utterly irrelevant to whether she will shun you for it.

In my opinion, if you have no evidence that she won't shun you (like having dated a bi guy before) then the risk likely isn't worth the reward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her

Be open and be yourself

Like me - she may find bi guys hot x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It apparent that there are hypocritical tendencies amongst individuals on this site... It is acceptable if the woman has bi tendencies but not so if the guy has bi interests... Guys can be confused but they are not stupid...

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

For me it wouldn't be an issue but who knows how she will take it.

I just think it's a shame when people can't be themselves.

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

I “outed” myself as bi while we were discussing past partners. Luckily it wasn’t an issue.

That said, I’ve had a lot of negative words from straight women when I tell them I’m bi - so everyone’s mileage will vary! From what you said, though, chances are she’ll be fine with it

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If she has concerns about a vibrator up your arse, I can only imagine the response to a cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you be with someone you can't be honest with... If she doesn't like what you have to tell her, then surely you are not meant to be together?

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

Tell her the truth, it might make or break the relationship but if it makes it, then you could both be really happy, I absolutly love honesty whilst I’m not attracted to men that are bi myself many are and she sounds cool

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By *uilder506Man
over a year ago

bognor

Tested the water with fs on this in the past never had a gf that likes the idea , sadly

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By *achelnMarkCouple
over a year ago

Mid Wiltshire

"During shared porn watching of a Bi MMF threeway I said how much that turned me on, would you like to see me sucking cock etc, the conversation quickly made us both understand how we wanted the fantasy turned into reality.

Hope that helps x "

Sort of how we started.... just chose nice bi MMF porn!

As it was new to both of us, easy to take things at the speed you want. Turns out we both like it and quite relaxed about the whole thing and wonder what the fuss was about (brainwashing bi is wrong when younger I guess!)

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

You could tell her you think about the other cocks that have been in her pussy when you're going down on her and take it from there... what she would taste like after she'd had another cock in there. Suck your cum out, talk about sucking another guy's cum out. Talk about cleaning his cock, about how much you'd love to suck his cock... she'll get the message.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"You're lying to her by being on here.

And she will want to know how you are expressing your Bi side.

You're cheating on her.

Do her a favour and tell her."

If using the forums on Fab is cheating, I'd guess porn is too?

OP said he'd been with gf a year, last veri was over a year ago.

I don't know him at all, but why assume he's cheating?

OP, I'd say be open about everything, if you want this to be long term. There's nothing worse than hiding sexual secrets in a relationship (my experience) and better to do it now than ten years down the line when there's a lot more at stake.

If she doesn't accept you as you are, she's not the one. Never settle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're lying to her by being on here.

And she will want to know how you are expressing your Bi side.

You're cheating on her.

Do her a favour and tell her.

If using the forums on Fab is cheating, I'd guess porn is too?

OP said he'd been with gf a year, last veri was over a year ago.

I don't know him at all, but why assume he's cheating?

If she doesn't accept you as you are, she's not the one. Never settle."

Just because someone isn't displaying veris it doesn't mean they're not meeting

Having a profile on here is with the intention to meet people.

It's not the same as porn at all.

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By *oinfc188 OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Cheers all, some interesting feedback.

No, I have never cheated (in the physical sense). Although I do login to Fab every few days for a browse. I don't believe I would ever cheat either. However, I feel a lot of girls (not all) assume that a night out with the lads increases the risk of me cheating (because I'm bi).

In an ideal world, she would accept my bisexuality and explore it with me. However, if I told her and she wasn't interested I would not like to lose her. Sometimes, I think it might be best to take one step at a time - maybe explore our sexual interests pushing our boundaries together as we become more and more comfortable with each other, rather than hitting her with all my sexual fantasies and secrets right now.

I would never force her to partake or judge her for not accepting my fantasies but hey, here's hoping.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"You're lying to her by being on here.

And she will want to know how you are expressing your Bi side.

You're cheating on her.

Do her a favour and tell her.

If using the forums on Fab is cheating, I'd guess porn is too?

OP said he'd been with gf a year, last veri was over a year ago.

I don't know him at all, but why assume he's cheating?

If she doesn't accept you as you are, she's not the one. Never settle.

Just because someone isn't displaying veris it doesn't mean they're not meeting

Having a profile on here is with the intention to meet people.

It's not the same as porn at all."

At the same time, someone not displaying veris can also mean they are not meeting.

Contrary to the beliefs of some, there are quite a few people on here who aren't here for the sex.

I mostly chat with men (would also be open to chat with women, just haven't found many yet). I find that some people here tend to be quirkier and more fun to discuss the inane with than those on the more everyday sites. There are also people who are bored, lonely, isolated, in an area where the only people to talk to are the same neighbors they've known since childhood (and bringing up anything new causes major gossip that can't be forgotten...the scenarios are endless).

If the odd innuendo comes up, there's no fear that it would be taken the wrong way.

Some of us have been here a while, and love the outlet, even when in a relationship that doesn't include looking for sex.

I am not sure what your preferences, sexual or otherwise, are, but I'm sure not all fit into them.

In the end, Fab is for anyone, I think. Do with it what you will.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Cheers all, some interesting feedback.

I would never force her to partake or judge her for not accepting my fantasies but hey, here's hoping."

I'm bi, most of my vanilla friends know this,

And I have been on many nights out with the lads, and none have ended in sex (except once I pulled a crazy woman, who ended up staying at my house for about five weeks).

If a lot of girls think that a night out with friends often ends in shagging, I'd guess that it's because lesbian curiosity is far more socially acceptable.

Point out to your girlfriend that you are twice as faithful, because you don't sleep with other women or other men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think if you come out in the open or just watch a bi mmf video and you never know she may say I love to see you sucking another guys cock, I love meeting a bi or bi curious couple than enjoy sucking my cock together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of us are bi and told each other when we got together both knew anyways told a ex i was bi and she dumped me for it hey ho she's still single and living at her parents

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Unless you're planning on ending monogamy within your relationship, why tell her?

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Maybe I (Mr) lack imagination, but I reckon the answer to half the dilemmas posted on this forum is “go to a club”

In other words, pic a cosy swinger club with a bar, just chat as a couple with others, you don’t have to do anything at all, just both of you get a bit more used to being around and interacting with people with an incredible variety of tastes and preferences. If she is curious as you say, could open up exciting possibilities for you both as a couple.

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By *oinfc188 OP Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Clubs can be daunting for inexperienced people I guess. We had discussed the idea of visiting a club in the past before a city break but nothing came of it. I thought she might see other bisexual guys in the club and would have been curious to see her reaction to them.

I have received some positive emails from ladies on here claiming they wish their boyfriends were bisexual. Interesting.

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By *ichelangeloxMan
over a year ago

cambridge

In my experience, like attracts like! Since adulthood, any girlfriend I’ve had, has at sometime enjoy bisexual fling themselves. But the only way to find out, is to talk about it. Ask the question of her and you maybe pleasantly surprised!!

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By *uriouscouple38Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

Admitting, she trying her best to make me it,she cant wait to see me with a cock in my mouth and ass

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By *uriouscouple38Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

"In my experience, like attracts like! Since adulthood, any girlfriend I’ve had, has at sometime enjoy bisexual fling themselves. But the only way to find out, is to talk about it. Ask the question of her and you maybe pleasantly surprised!!"
strangely true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth will out in the finish..all through marriage number one I lied to myself and all around me.. tried to live the same with wife number 2 and then I just stopped lying..about it all. and though very difficult we are in a much better place a few years after and my wife is a very willing partner to the point of wanting nights out and in with my alter ego. Good luck op. life is too short to waste it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently told my GF I was bi, was nervous and wasn’t sure if I should. She was shocked, which is fair enough, and she was a bit distance for a few days, but has now accepted and warmed to the idea. I think she understood being bi herself, but it’s different strokes for different folks at the end of the day. We’ve not dived into bi male play yet, but we’ll see what happens

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If one of the primary reasons is to be able to enjoy sex with other people but not miss out on action with men, then I'd ensure that you fully ensure that she's completely fine with having an open relationship first. It's then going to be about the rules on your engagement with others - who/how/what/where etc. If you're going to be meeting people together, you can also discuss your interests in more of those same options too.

I'd not try to get absolutely everything covered in one quick discussion - sometimes people benefit from time to reflect upon things, before they're clearer about what's right for them.

You can certainly be clear about anal play not making a guy get interested in other guys, as we all know it doesn't work that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be very careful here, people can get very caught up in the Fab world, to us Faber's this is all fine and just sexy fun but that's because we have become part of all this, just don't forget that people on the outside are maybe not as easy going about all this stuff. Remember you guys are together only 1 year, you must be comfortable enough for everyone you know finding out about your lifestyle if she takes it badly when you tell her. Now Im Irish so maybe I'm not the right person to give advice on this!!

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By *CDecauxMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I’m probably not a great deal of help here, because I’ve always been open and honest before the relationship really got started.

I’ve always been open about the fact I love anal play on myself, and then it usually progress’ from there as a conversation where I’ve always just been open and honest about it.

It’s never made even a slight change in any relationship I’ve been in. Although, my most recent ex did constantly ask if I’d rather it was a guy sucking my cock when she was going down on me

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"You could tell her you think about the other cocks that have been in her pussy when you're going down on her and take it from there... what she would taste like after she'd had another cock in there. Suck your cum out, talk about sucking another guy's cum out. Talk about cleaning his cock, about how much you'd love to suck his cock... she'll get the message. "

Whoa.... you want to give the lady a coronary??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a proven technique for doing this:

First you confess to something outrageously shocking like you're a murderer, or you broke her favourite teacup or that you listen to Coldplay....

Then tell her you were only joking but that you are bi. She'll be so relieved to hear the first news wasn't true she'll be more accepting of the second.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Be very careful here, people can get very caught up in the Fab world, to us Faber's this is all fine and just sexy fun but that's because we have become part of all this, just don't forget that people on the outside are maybe not as easy going about all this stuff. Remember you guys are together only 1 year, you must be comfortable enough for everyone you know finding out about your lifestyle if she takes it badly when you tell her. Now Im Irish so maybe I'm not the right person to give advice on this!!"

Hence my earlier post, unless he wants to stop the monogamous relationship, what is the point of telling her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hence my earlier post, unless he wants to stop the monogamous relationship, what is the point of telling her?"
I totally agree, sorry I didn't see your earlier post, it is a hard one though I do know how he feels.

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