FabSwingers.com forum: Unable to Cum

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I doubt it would bother anyone, it Certainly shouldn't annoy them!!

If it did, move on, as they're not worth bothering with.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

When we were meeting we specifically said on our profile that we didn’t want to meet guys who struggled to cum . This was because part of the enjoyment of meeting was for my wife to ‘ get the guy off ‘ , an end so to speak .

Although it was very rare for guys not to cum , on the very odd occasion they didn’t , she would always wonder what she may have done wrong , or not done well enough . It also means the woman won’t know when to stop , so she will get worn out trying to get blood from a stone !

So yes , I think it should be mentioned before a meet just in case a prospective meet feels the same way .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not the only one, I've been known to last up to 6 hours.... Sex was great she said I did everything right... Just couldn't cum.... Don't know why or how ... And it played on my mind and still does. . I've been to doctors and they can't help.. they don't know what it is that's wrong.

So I'm stuck with this problem which ... Really is a pain in the arse and is ruining my life in more ways than I thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

It wouldn't annoy me especially if it's a first sex meet. I have only ever cum on a first meet once.

But I'd prefer to know in advance that it's a possibility so I don't feel like you haven't had a good time.

Do you cum with subsequent meets?

What if I gave you reeses peices?

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

Not an issue but it does help to know beforehand...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one of the best meets with a gentleman who stated the same fact to me about himself...

I reassured him that I can’t come with people I don’t know either....

It was then agreed that the pressure would be taken off us both and we’d just have some superb fun....

And we certainly did! I’m going all flushed at the thought.

So OP just be honest- some people will want the end product-

Sometimes I love seeing it as a reward... that a bloke is into me... I’ve turned him on... sometimes how quick is a massive turn on... but it’s not the only thing I enjoy...

Now- I must get back in touch with that gent...

Mrs P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not an issue at all, I don't orgasm all the time myself! But would like to know beforehand so I don't take it personally

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By *uck427Man
over a year ago

wales

I had the same problem it takes me ages to cum it was good and bad it made my ex mad thinking I wasn't turned on by her but it wasn't true it was me not her that's when things started to go bad for us so your not the only one OP with the same problem

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By * New YorkieMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I sometimes dont cum after many hours of play either. Sometimes I can cum 3 times in a meet.. All depends on alot of things..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?

It wouldn't annoy me especially if it's a first sex meet. I have only ever cum on a first meet once.

But I'd prefer to know in advance that it's a possibility so I don't feel like you haven't had a good time.

Do you cum with subsequent meets?

What if I gave you reeses peices?

Yes I would normally cum on subsequent meets once the pressure is off a bit. It's normally just the first (and sometimes second and third) meet where I have the issue.

Regarding Reese's Peices, come to Aberdeen and we can put it to the test

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good to know I'm not the only one with this problem!

And any women reading, try not to take it personally. At least in my case, the attractiveness or skill of the woman has very little to do with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not the only one, I've been known to last up to 6 hours.... Sex was great she said I did everything right... Just couldn't cum.... Don't know why or how ... And it played on my mind and still does. . I've been to doctors and they can't help.. they don't know what it is that's wrong.

So I'm stuck with this problem which ... Really is a pain in the arse and is ruining my life in more ways than I thought."

6 hours! Lol

I would normally have stopped after an hour - cum or no cum lol

Hope you find a way to fix your problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it is best to know beforehand otherwise I would blame myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

Not a problem at all, just mention beforehand. I'd feel like a laughing stock if didn't know and kept trying and, as been said above, would blame myself.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?

It wouldn't annoy me especially if it's a first sex meet. I have only ever cum on a first meet once.

But I'd prefer to know in advance that it's a possibility so I don't feel like you haven't had a good time.

Do you cum with subsequent meets?

What if I gave you reeses peices?

Yes I would normally cum on subsequent meets once the pressure is off a bit. It's normally just the first (and sometimes second and third) meet where I have the issue.

Regarding Reese's Peices, come to Aberdeen and we can put it to the test

I'm on the train now with a suitcase full. I'm sure it will work

but seriously just be honest about it.

I hate the pressure of guys saying they'll make me cum when I know it won't happen

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

It's not an issue, it happens to many people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't that a plus .. lol

You can go for hours .. Hard and fast.

And still keep goin ...

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

I don't think you need to mention it on your profile but I would mention it to whoever you're going to meet, just in case they want to see you cum and are left a little disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some blokes cum too quick and get ridiculed in the forums for it, the expectations of performance (based on a lot of forum posts and porn) is that a guy has to fuck like a steam train for hours at a time.

If you pop your cork too early, you feature on your very own "should I verify" thread.

The human mind is a very complex thing and the majority of us end up with some form of performance anxiety, even subconciously.

Some things can't be helped, but if there is a persistent problem, maybe speaking to a health care professional may help? (Probably not your dentist though)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't bother me if it didn't bother you. The orgasm is the least favourite part of sex for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was seeing someone for a while who struggled to keep his erection the first few times, then came quickly.

It took a few times for him to be able to relax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am the reverse lol, first time nerves speeds me up lol, but after that I get better lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My situation is similar. It's not that I can't cum but sometimes it takes a long time or on occasion not at all. That said I only ever had one instant where my partner commented in a negative way. But for me I find certain positions don't work then others really do

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Happens to me too sometimes dont let it get to you my advice just meet up have fun and dont think about cumming. If you force yourself to cum it wont happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we guys would all be fibbing if we said it had never happened to us at some point... I find when meeting someone new it's a bit of an issue but second time it seems to be better that said would you rather cum instantly? I doubt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you feel you can't cum? What do you think is preventing it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

Why not wank all over her after you have had sex. Lots of ladies find it really erotic.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I don't think you need to mention it on your profile but I would mention it to whoever you're going to meet, just in case they want to see you cum and are left a little disappointed. "

This, I don't think you need to announce to the world but do mention it to meets, I never cum with anyone on any amount of meets so I don't think it's a huge issue, I still have loads of fun and still love sex.

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By *anny77Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Think it was Stephen king who wrote about people mistakingly deciding if sex was good or not based on “the little squirt at the end”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?

Why not wank all over her after you have had sex. Lots of ladies find it really erotic.

I often do

Still doesn't work. It's definitely a psychological thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you can't cum? What do you think is preventing it?"

I'm not sure.

I think I just overthink it. The longer it goes on for, the more I overthink it. After the girls cummed a few times I feel she must be starting to get bored

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think we guys would all be fibbing if we said it had never happened to us at some point... I find when meeting someone new it's a bit of an issue but second time it seems to be better that said would you rather cum instantly? I doubt it "

It's definitely better than premature ejaculation! But ideally I would be able to cum after 30mins - hour or so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some blokes cum too quick and get ridiculed in the forums for it, the expectations of performance (based on a lot of forum posts and porn) is that a guy has to fuck like a steam train for hours at a time.

If you pop your cork too early, you feature on your very own "should I verify" thread.

The human mind is a very complex thing and the majority of us end up with some form of performance anxiety, even subconciously.

Some things can't be helped, but if there is a persistent problem, maybe speaking to a health care professional may help? (Probably not your dentist though)"

I wouldn't say it's a huge problem for me tbh.

I love sex still - just don't want women thinking it's something wrong with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your unable to do this because that's what you have told yourself. Simply change how you think and everything will flow. The mind is powerful, it can do amazing things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you use porn or wank much? I have read somewhere that these activities can have an impact on performance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not a huge amount, no

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By *rkeb3Man
over a year ago

east Lancashire road

U can't Cum while having sex but can with ur hands hmm mamamia might be addict to wankin lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"U can't Cum while having sex but can with ur hands hmm mamamia might be addict to wankin lol"

Can't cum when wanking with a girl either lol - so it's not that

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By *ressed4fun03TV/TS
over a year ago

Midlands

I have the opposite problem, i cum way too easily x

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Endurance is an asset. Do NOT refer to this useful talent on your profile, because you never know for sure with any given partner at any given time in any given place.

“Saving-up” may help. No ejaculations for a few days before, if you can avoid them.

If your partner cums, or when you want to stop, FAKE IT!!!

Do “flotter au vent” - waving the flag. When Little Wrinkly is standing to attention, you can use muscles to “waggle” him independently (not your body). Do this when the time is ripe, and support it with grunts, gasps, heavy breathing, muscle spasms, etc.

Give your partner the satisfaction of feeling that she’s driven you “over-the-top”. She may very well not notice that the condom is empty.

Practise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Endurance is an asset. Do NOT refer to this useful talent on your profile, because you never know for sure with any given partner at any given time in any given place.

“Saving-up” may help. No ejaculations for a few days before, if you can avoid them.

If your partner cums, or when you want to stop, FAKE IT!!!

Give your partner the satisfaction of feeling that she’s driven you “over-the-top”. She may very well not notice that the condom is empty.

Practise!

I'd rather know the truth.

Mrs

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Endurance is an asset. Do NOT refer to this useful talent on your profile, because you never know for sure with any given partner at any given time in any given place.

“Saving-up” may help. No ejaculations for a few days before, if you can avoid them.

If your partner cums, or when you want to stop, FAKE IT!!!

Give your partner the satisfaction of feeling that she’s driven you “over-the-top”. She may very well not notice that the condom is empty.

Practise!

I'd rather know the truth.

Mrs"

Same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your unable to do this because that's what you have told yourself. Simply change how you think and everything will flow. The mind is powerful, it can do amazing things."

You look like you’ve got a powerful thing....

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I'd rather know the truth.

Mrs"

OK. So for you, it is important for your partners to have real orgasms, not just pretend ones.

But many of us are on this site because we enjoy recreational sex – playing, and, in many cases, play-ACTING.

Objectiveguy is not getting full benefit because of his apprehension. Now he knows how to deal with it, and him and many of his future partners will get greater enjoyment from playing because of this.

Win, win.

It works the other way around.

Many women don’t have orgasms from penetrative sex, for various reasons. But if the can do reasonably realistic fake orgasms, us men know when they’ve had enough, and are happy to have given them the ultimate prize.

Every one is happy, and nobody is hurt.

DON’T CHECK USED CONDOMS!

EVER!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather know the truth.

Mrs

OK. So for you, it is important for your partners to have real orgasms, not just pretend ones.

But many of us are on this site because we enjoy recreational sex – playing, and, in many cases, play-ACTING.

Win, win.

It works the other way around.

Every one is happy, and nobody is hurt.

DON’T CHECK USED CONDOMS!

EVER!

Still don't see the need for pretending from the man or woman side. If you're upfront with the truth then there's no pressure. If you cum - great, if you don't - also great. As long as everyone enjoyed the process.

Unless you turn up and say "let's pretend to have sex" of course

Mrs

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I'd rather know the truth.

Mrs

OK. So for you, it is important for your partners to have real orgasms, not just pretend ones.

But many of us are on this site because we enjoy recreational sex – playing, and, in many cases, play-ACTING.

Win, win.

It works the other way around.

Every one is happy, and nobody is hurt.

DON’T CHECK USED CONDOMS!

EVER!

Maybe the OP doesn't want to fake it? Your advice isn't the only advice worth noting.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

My hubby never cums on a play meet. He saves that for me! So if a guy didn’t cum it wouldn’t bother me, from the little experience I’ve had in a 3sum it’s always sad when the guy cums as it means the meeting is near the end! Lol

Anyway if that’s all they have to worry about then tough! Lol enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't want a woman faking it - so I probably wouldn't fake it myself (although think I have done in the past)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the problem once about a year ago not sure why it happened but we both found it funny and just laughed it off I think I was just over excited lol with a mixture of nerves..

Do you have any idea of why you might not be able to ?

I would hold off masturbation a couple of days before if you plan sex ahead and see it that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't cum but mine id due to 2 lots of medication I am on,

I get all the feelings that I am going to cum but nothing cums out,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had the problem once about a year ago not sure why it happened but we both found it funny and just laughed it off I think I was just over excited lol with a mixture of nerves..

Do you have any idea of why you might not be able to ?

I would hold off masturbation a couple of days before if you plan sex ahead and see it that helps "

Lol.

Overthinking it I think. It usually gets better on subsequent meets

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By *inderellas_sexy_sisterWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

OP I have the same problem regarding orgasming via sex and mastrubating with them there. Only mine isnt just new its all the time. Fine over phone when mastrubating or by myself. Its deffo psychological.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP I have the same problem regarding orgasming via sex and mastrubating with them there. Only mine isnt just new its all the time. Fine over phone when mastrubating or by myself. Its deffo psychological.

Sounds like we're made for each other

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By *inderellas_sexy_sisterWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Haha maybe we are

My best sex was with an ex who never used to orgasm but not a lot. It did bother either of us. We would do it until one of us wanted to stop and it would start and stop like that all night at the weekend when he was over. Actually typing all that...Im not sure if he struggled or just didnt so that he could keep on going for me tbh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Haha maybe we are

Haha I've had a very similar relationship experience.

Sure we haven't met before?

lol

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Another idea, OP.

In the morning of the BIG EVENT, have a wank, but stop before you cum. Keep checking your balls. When they retract up against your body, stop. Little swimmers will be loaded into the breach ready for firing.

A few hours later, do the same again. More swimmers into the breach. “It’s getting a bit crowded in here”.

Just before you leave, do it a third time. “Hey, how the hell can we get out of here!”

So when the time comes: POWWWW.

She’ll wonder what hit her!

Oh, and ladies, if you want to stop him cumming, just hold his balls away from his body. It won’t hurt him, but he’ll just have to keep on keeping on! Let go when the time is right.

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By *ait88Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

..... and there was a shocked and stunned silence.

The only sound was the heavy breathing of the men as they vigorously checked the ups and downs of their bollocks.

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By *uriouscouple38Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

Me to,cant cum through sex,when my gf fucks me with a strap on ,I find I can cum my riding her big dick on top,but it needs focus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happens to me sometimes. I usually just mention it during the proceedings if I feel things are going that way. The problem with mentioning it early is that if you say that, then cum more quickly the lady might think I was lying to big myself up about my stamina, which makes me feel pressured in a different way!

Of course I'm obsessed with oral so try to make sure the lady has cum at least once before we even get to penetration so that takes some of the pressure off, and I guess that if I'm going to get performance anxiety it's better that it's the kind that makes me last a long time rather than the opposite kind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?"

Stop pulling it every day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't cum during sex with new people. Usually I just give up and 'finish myself off' later on in the night

Not sure if it's the nerves or me putting too much pressure on myself

Question is - would this annoy you? Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile, or is it a non-issue for most women?

Stop pulling it every day

I went two weeks once without "pulling it" and still didn't cum

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By *eacsMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Absolutely the same problem.........all my life.........You aren't on your own!!

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