FabSwingers.com forum: Manners

By *lwaysdiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

Ashford Kent and Dartford

Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

It isn't rude not to reply, it simply means that they aren't interested.

Men outnumber women and can get flooded with messages.

You might want to read the FAQs or more information and search the forum for other advice and suggestions.

Nita

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/19 21:39:25]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Because many of us have found that if we do reply we get abused and pestered. It's in the site FAQ for a reason.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you reply to all your unsolicited mail? Noone asks you to message them, if they dont reply move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Please reply to all of us posting here OP, it's only good manners to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

Do you think it's good manners to abuse, insult, harass and generally disrespect women? Because that happens daily on here, nobody owes you a reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Hey OP, Within a day of joining fab I had read ALL the faq's and I clearly recall the advice that when on fab, no reply means a polite "no thanks" and everyone should take it as such.

Hope that helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Personally I can't reply to every single message I get on here. I work 12 hours a day and get still go gym and have a life. I'm not going to reply to 70+ messages yo say thanks but no thanks because then you get abuse or but why...

I'm sure if the tables were turned men wouldn't reply to EVERY message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes, in terms of dealing with both admin and unpleasantness, "manners" as defined by many men are incredibly expensive. I certainly can't afford them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lwaysdiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

Ashford Kent and Dartford

Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your sent mail as soon as you've sent it then you won't know what the recipient has done with it. Forget about it and go about your day. When you log back on you'll either have a reply or you won't, that simple really. No point stressing over stuff you cannot control. You had the choice to message them or not, they have the choice to reply or not. I'm currently chatting to a lady who says she has 60 unread messages. How does she reply to all of those? She probably has better things to do with her time, like chat to me

If she is not a site supporter she'll soon run out of messages saying no thanks. That's a pointless waste of time and messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers."

I have no idea who's going to turn nasty, and I'm not prepared to find out. Some of the abuse I've received here has been sickening and chilling.

I have a life. This is a hobby. I'm a customer here, too.

I had no idea that anyone would be interested in me when I signed up, let alone the scale of the onslaught. It was an onslaught.

The result of forcing people to reply would be that women would leave. Do you really want that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lwaysdiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

Ashford Kent and Dartford

Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers."

So... you are saying that all users should have to reply to every message that they get?

I would suggest that you maybe need to reevaluate your expectations, and think what you can do to stand out in a positive way, that encourages women to respond to your carefully crafted messages.

Negativity is not going to improve your chances.

Nita

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers."

Sorry you feel that way. I get hundreds of messages in an average week. Some people get thousands. I don't have the time or the inclination to reply to them all. If they've put a bit of effort in I'll try to reply but no way have I got time to answer every random, particularly the ones who've obviously not read my profile.

No reply= not interested.

That's the way it works.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe send messages that make people want to reply?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Honestly if you are sending 70 messages a day I'm not surprised you don't get a reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it’s your profile or the content of the message putting people off.

We are fed up of receiving messages from people who clearly don’t fulfil our criteria but try their luck anyway.

The ladies don’t owe you anything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Must be nice not to receive messages that make you vomit. Must be nice not to get threats when you don't immediately agree to fuck someone you don't want to.

I've had periods where I've felt ignored in my whole life, not just on an optional website. Yes, depressing. Did I think I was entitled to anyone's time, attention, or body? Of course not. I worked on myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers."

1.You may not agree with it, everyone has their own way of managing their profile.

2. Manners can cost us a lot of time and frequently end up with why not or abuse.

3. Please spend a couple of days replying to ever single piece of junk mail through your door or in you email inbox, then you will understand how it is.

4. People do give a damn with others they are interested in meeting.

5. The owners state in the faq section that no reply is no interest, its not considered rude.

6. You still haven't replied to every poster on your thread.

Enough said. People can run their profiles how it works for them and not be dictated to by other people who feel they are entitled to a response or meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lwaysdiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

Ashford Kent and Dartford

But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

PSA: You are not entitled to a response. Nobody owes you anything.

If 100 people walk up to you in the street over the course of a day, is it rude to ignore them and keep walking? No, of course not.

Welcome to fab, suck it up buttercup

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

It’s an argument you cannot win. All of us are part of this site and we all (to a greater or lesser extent) abide by the rules of the site. They clearly say no reply is a polite no thank you.

Now my inbox doesn’t get inundated because my filters work for me but even so I simply choose to not reply if I don’t sense Id want to take it further or if my profile text was ignored. At the moment my text clearly says I’m not looking to meet new guys. I have 17 ignored messages asking if I want to meet even though the answer is clearly there in my text. Should I be forced to reply?

Honestly makes no difference to me if those men find me rude for not replying.

V x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

Because you sent a picture and they didn’t fancy you. It’s really quite simple and it happens to all of us.

V x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt 70 people a day are in the wrong. I dare say the problem is within yourself or how you are conducting yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers.

I have no idea who's going to turn nasty, and I'm not prepared to find out. Some of the abuse I've received here has been sickening and chilling.

I have a life. This is a hobby. I'm a customer here, too.

I had no idea that anyone would be interested in me when I signed up, let alone the scale of the onslaught. It was an onslaught.

The result of forcing people to reply would be that women would leave. Do you really want that? "

I've actually had female friends that have signed up and left within a couple of days as they've been pestered off the site by entitled men and couples before they've even had a chance to sort their profiles and set filters. Onslaught is exactly the right word. I used to reply to every message, I no longer do this as it took too much time that I could have spent with actually meeting people. I will only reply to people I'm interested in meeting now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

Instead of whinging and moaning, why not try to improve your chances of success and reduce the frustrations.

Fab is what it is and many men have great success.

What can you do better and as another poster said, delete sent messages.

Nita

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

You take this shite too seriously me thinks. It's supposed to be fun. People can do what the hell they like as long as it's within the site rules. Don't like it then maybe it's not for you. Chill, it's just a bit of fun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Actually its not great getting that many messages a day. Most of them dont read my profile and just send me cock pics so why should I reply if they haven't made an effort. How do know people don't reply to my messages?

The last bit of your message is uncalled for. Think you need to get over yourself honestly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

The block button is often used as another filter, it means you won't show up in their searches or newsfeed, also the other way round.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

They didn't like your picture. Or your message. Or your profile. They did mean it.

The way it works is this. People reply if a) you get them at the right time, b) your message, profile, and pictures suit them, c) they might find you attractive, and d) unknown unknowns. You can't control it. It's just the way it is.

When Fab can afford staff to pay for women to respond to hundreds or thousands of messages, one, the site supporter pass won't be so cheap, and two, bulk deletes will become less of an issue. Until then, get used to it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it.

What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one?"

How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it.

What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one?

How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply! "

A little bit of maths.

70 messages sent.

70 no thank you replies received.

Good manners as defined by self-entitled men mean replying to each and every message.

70 messages sent to thank for the no thank you messages plus 70 messages to new people. Total 140 messages.

Need I continue?

Before you get personal, I have minimised the number of messages I get by sounding horrible in my profile. However, I do reply to those I receive. Most of their authors get blocked immediately thereupon. Would you prefer this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

When you stop giving a fuck Fab gets much better.

My profile is shit but my pics and messages work for me. Why?

Because I write a decent message. I can count on one hand the no replies I have had.

Up your game mate and give 0 fucks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it.

What do you want? 70 "no thank you" in your inbox every day? Would you respond back to each one?

How demoralising would that be lol, much rather have my message ignored or deleted without reply!

A little bit of maths.

70 messages sent.

70 no thank you replies received.

Good manners as defined by self-entitled men mean replying to each and every message.

70 messages sent to thank for the no thank you messages plus 70 messages to new people. Total 140 messages.

Need I continue?

I wouldn't mind a "no thanks+block" option. But I suspect most guys would prefer me to leave it open to them to try again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

I block guys when they get too much.

But I say things I'm not after, and it's the majority of what I get. Sigh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

OP I get you’re frustrated in this thread, but even your profile sounds negative and aggressive. Why would you say in your profile you don’t like rude people? No sane person does.

Make a happier profile with happier pictures.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

Op your pictures show that you’ve been here for 5 years. It can’t be that bad if you’ve stuck it out that long!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss T1978Woman
over a year ago

Derby

My profile clearly states that one-liners will be deleted, however I'm always polite with my replies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles

Because I have some single men friends.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles

Because I have some single men friends. "

If you've already messaged each other or are friends on Fab, the filter doesn't apply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not looking to meet single men. As my profile states : and that messages from single men will be ignored. I still get messages. Just shows profiles aren't always read.

Why not just block men in your filters, no one reads profiles

Because I have some single men friends. "

They'll still be able to message if you're friends, the filter won't apply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not this old favourite again!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's mi violin ? ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Grown up or get out. No one owes you anything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

I dont get 100s of messages, let alone 1000s, because i usw my filters to full effect and I dont understand women not using the filters if it pisses them off so much.

Those women who are in that catagory...are you applying any at all, do you put a lot of pics up wanting them fabbing? Im genuinely curious?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

"
thats how this site works lately no one has manners that why i've stopped send out mail to new people who i maybe interested in but life is too short so live it to the full i say what i never had i never miss that how i look at it now days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I dont get 100s of messages, let alone 1000s, because i usw my filters to full effect and I dont understand women not using the filters if it pisses them off so much.

Those women who are in that catagory...are you applying any at all, do you put a lot of pics up wanting them fabbing? Im genuinely curious?"

I use filters to the extent that works for me. I put pictures up, without comment, because I work on my profile. I've never asked for Fabs.

I rarely get hundreds of messages anymore, but I do get more than I can do justice to, and the vast majority haven't read my profile and aren't for me.

When I was new to Fab I landed in hospital. I tried replying to everyone but got an amazing amount of abuse and threats. I still get abuse and threats. I protect myself and make no apology for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Do you really want 70 rejection messages in your inbox a day?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont get 100s of messages, let alone 1000s, because i usw my filters to full effect and I dont understand women not using the filters if it pisses them off so much.

Those women who are in that catagory...are you applying any at all, do you put a lot of pics up wanting them fabbing? Im genuinely curious?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP, try getting out to the clubs and making contacts that way? Then you won't have to rely on this site for meeting people and won't care what your inbox says or doesn't say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

May I ask if you reply to all your junk mail and spam on your e-mail? It's very similar to this . I was with a lady at club SX Blackpool this weekend and when we woke up in the hotel on Sunday morning she showed me that she had 1500 messages on fab.. How could she possibly respond to all of those messages? So please don't think they are been rude by not responding to your message. Take it on the chin OP and please don't take it personal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But you get people say you must send a picture or no reply in big caps.

And you send pictures and they never reply.

So why say it if you dont mean it.

And plus this block deleting i hate it.

You send a lovely message only to find it got block deleted.

Sure makes you feel good don't it."

They do mean it...your picture let's them decide that you're not for them...

nobody is here to make you feel good, sorry that's harsh but it's the truth.

equally, nobody is here to make us feel good either so we don't invest much of ourselves in the process, it works for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

You do get manners. Is anyone telling you to fuck off or calling you names? Unlikely. They just aren't acknowledging your presence.

Sorry if that is seen as rude but you know what? This environment is pretty wierd coz you get all kinds of guys shoving their dick everywhere it's unwelcome, and like the dragonfly, we tend to play dead to avoid the hassle of rejecting those penises.

We're not all here for the same reason at all either. I'm definitely not here to whinge about messages being ignored for a start.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Do you really want 70 rejection messages in your inbox a day?"
it would not bother me any rejection since I've been rejection all my life since moving back but to be honest i though this was funny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair there's like 100 men to 1 woman on fab (I dont know the actual ratio)

But it's ridiculous, it seems even female profiles with no pictures or veris get bombarded with messages so attach pics and be creative to increase the chances of a reply if not then move on, no need for a sob story on the forums lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP

A couple of things you have said may be some of the reasons you don't get replies.

Firstly yes this is a swingers site but we are all looking for different things on here with the individuals that tick our boxes.

Also you said 70 messages sent no replies

Both on our couples profile and my (MT) singles profile I do t tend to send random messages.

I read their profile and check out pics etc.

If I or we like the pics and we seem to have similar wants etc as stated on their profile we will send a wink/message.

The message will be written for that person and point out the reasons why we have messaged and point out of they are interested drop us a message back if not happy fabbing and have fun

Sometimes we get replies sometimes we don't.

Those we dont get a response we move on and let them find what they are looking for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lack of manners is a major bug bear of mine.

The old saying manners cost nothing.

If you have nothing nice to say stay quiet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s.FrostWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

Nothing sexier than a whiner....not..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Lack of manners is a major bug bear of mine.

The old saying manners cost nothing.

If you have nothing nice to say stay quiet.

Hence the no reply, no interest rule. Well put. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

It's really not worth getting het up about op

Many of us look at a profile before deciding to reply or delete.If you are getting all deletes ,maybe work on it ...

Would getting 50 no thanks really make you feel better?

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Entitled.

This is a word you are seeing in a lot of replies OP.

I would comfortably wager that that sense of entitlement is one of the reasons you are getting short shrift on fab.

Lose it, is a suggestion I'd give you if you ever want a meet.

Try other approaches like "humble" or "respectful", maybe try to lower your expectations of conversation and eradicate your irritated reaction when ignored or blocked. You reaction is a result of you feeling that since you "made an effort" you "deserve a reply"

You deserve nothing.

Com at it for I'm that perspective and you'll likely be happier and have more success chatting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Come at it from that perspective*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Must be nice to get 70 messages a day.

Instead of sending 70 messages a day out.

How would you feel doing it the other way around.

Thats right you don't have time you said.

If you’re sending that many every day, then they’re copy & paste messages.

C&P is easy to spot, has no reference to anything personal on your profile or is complete incorrect.

These will just be deleted, because it’s lazy.

Any messages containing dick pics get deleted

Any messages with a blank avatar get deleted

Any messages with a dick pic avatar get deleted

Any messages that aren’t interesting get deleted (hey babe you’re fit etc)

If you make it past that, I’d read your profile. If that’s poor, the message will get deleted

If you’re not getting replies, ask yourself how you can improve what you’re doing.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions but expecting a different result

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

You’re in the wrong place

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

If you take it this personally then I’d suggest this isn’t for you . If I don’t get a response I really don’t see it as any sort of reflection on that person . Get over it and write the next one that catches your eye

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

OP I think you might be a bit jaded about this site no one and I mean no one is entitled to respond to you it’s their choice. With people blocking and not responding it’s them thinking ok I’m not interested but I don’t want him to keep spamming me and yeah it sucks but rub some dirt on it and stop complaining if they don’t respond it means they are not interested in you whatsoever and they don’t want to waste your time and receive abuse for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. "

I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys.

Always fancied a trip to Cornwal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

I'm actually looking for average middle aged guys.

And you'll have hundreds to choose from, hence the chances of any one of them getting a reply is very small.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality. "

Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required.

I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've stopped replying to guys that don't meet my profile mainly because the abuse and insults when I say no are really hurtful and upsetting. I suggest you check and read profiles and make sure that you match them for a start before writing. Because we're on this site doesn't mean we want to fuck everyone on it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers."

It’s actually very bad manners not to abide by the rules of a web site you joined.

The rules state

No reply equals a ‘no thanks.’

If not happy either

A leave this site

B start your own with compulsory reply rule

C actually learn and understand what SwingI get is about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sorry but i really don't agree with that.

Your on a web site and really unless the person is being very rude or swearing at you.

Manners don't cost nothing not a penny.

You know what you sign up to and you know you would get lots of messages so reply.

This bad manners thing and just not giving a dam about the guy thing got to stop.

I am not the only one that feels like this and the owners should listen to its customers.

It’s actually very bad manners not to abide by the rules of a web site you joined.

The rules state

No reply equals a ‘no thanks.’

If not happy either

A leave this site

B start your own with compulsory reply rule

C actually learn and understand what SwingI get is about. "

Yeah. House rules are clear here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"It isn't rude not to reply, it simply means that they aren't interested.

Men outnumber women and can get flooded with messages.

You might want to read the FAQs or more information and search the forum for other advice and suggestions.

Nita "

This.

I do try to reply to as many polite messages as I can but I will delete unread a large majority of guys who clearly haven’t even bothered to read my profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required.

I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring. "

Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point..

In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It isn't rude not to reply, it simply means that they aren't interested.

Men outnumber women and can get flooded with messages.

You might want to read the FAQs or more information and search the forum for other advice and suggestions.

Nita "
it is rude but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Nita it is rude {OH NO IT ISN'T!} but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it {AND WHINE}

Fixed it for ya.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required.

I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring.

Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point..

In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy

I think they mean not nuts and not in a highly sought after category. And/or not kinky, which they often see as nuts (quite why they're messaging me then...)

I also see a lot of "I know what soap is." Err, that's necessary but not sufficient.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

The start of 80% of male messages don’t warrant opening, garble and insulting to some degree.

Just don’t see the point in wasting mine or there time any further

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nita it is rude {OH NO IT ISN'T!} but it's written in rules it's not so those of us with experience of it accept it ,the op doesn't so he's done the thread to highlight it {AND WHINE}

Fixed it for ya.

"
transfixed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"It's the regular self described "average" middle aged guy asking why he never gets replies.

I'm afraid the harsh truth is that average middle aged guys are squarely at the bottom of the fabs food chain.

Whilst men vastly out number women said average middle aged men are always going to get few or no replies unless they have an exceptional and engaging personality.

Average is a bad self description for a place like this. It might be true, but a bit of finesse is required.

I get a lot of messages from guys who go on about how average they are. It means nothing and tbh it's boring.

Seems a bit strange to see "average" as a selling point..

In the context of fabs, "average" is a physical description and I take it to mean not toned but no more than slightly pudgy

I think they mean not nuts and not in a highly sought after category. And/or not kinky, which they often see as nuts (quite why they're messaging me then...)

I also see a lot of "I know what soap is." Err, that's necessary but not sufficient. "

It's a bit like having "discreet" as a selling point. "meet me because I won't tell all your family you're on a swingers site"...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want.

If real life were like my inbox I'd have men yelling that they want to fuck me all day, some of it violent and obscene. Some of it not, but getting obscenities shouted at me all day, and obscenity in response to my polite deflection, I'd be within my rights to get the heck away from them and not reply to every cat call. (I do actually get men coming up to me in the street and complimenting me on a striking physical feature I have. It's bloody weird and I do what I can to escape)

While it might be polite in the real world to gently turn down a man who's come on to you, those rules go out the window if it's a scattergun approach to every woman within range. At 70 messages a day, you're doing the equivalent of "you OK darlin'?... Bitch.... You OK darlin'?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate. "
yes but don't forget the other men the ones that write well constructed polite messages with a hint of personality don't know what's gone before or after ,its a problem for many guys hence the reason this thread comes up everyday

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Copy and paste the same message ten times a week, this is grabbing at straws and looks so desperate. yes but don't forget the other men the ones that write well constructed polite messages with a hint of personality don't know what's gone before or after ,its a problem for many guys hence the reason this thread comes up everyday "

Sure. But the problems for women are no less the case.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure. But the problems for women are no less the case. "
I agree but we aren't in your message box and im always polite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Fab is not an efficient way of meeting women using the message facility alone OP. Women are inundated with decent men messaging them every day along with all the undesirable messages. It's to much of lottery whether you get read,replied to or bulk deleted read or unread. You have to look at the alternatives and the easiest is to go along to one of the many social events and chat to people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want.

I think a lot of the talk about "manners" is borne of the frustration from these "average" blokes who thought they were coming on a site full of women gagging for it and from whom they would get loads of fucks for minimum effort.

Essentially men should be realistic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Manners to reply to every message do cost something they cost you your time

I currently have 508 messages that have accumlated over the weekend (that’s with some filters set) because it’s been my birthday weekend and I’ve been busy haveing a life away from fab

Now if it took say a minute to send a nice reply to each I’d be sat saying no thanks for about 8 hours! now (when I’m not on sick leave) I have a job that’s has me out of the home for 12 hours a day, I then come home to kids, homework, chores etc so anywhere between 2-4 hours of work in the home a day. Which is already 16hours of a 24 hour day gone which does leave me the 8 hours it would take to reply to all those messages if I’m not a fan of getting any sleep or don’t ever want to meet any of the guys I’m actually interested in!

There’s also a message cap of only being able to send 100 messages per day so I’m screwed before I’ve even started really

Do you perhaps see where the problem with being “polite” could lie?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want.

Essentially men should be realistic. "

Oh, I agree. But if they're going to talk about manners, they have to consider the impact of these manners and if it's actually reasonable to expect them to apply in these circumstances. And clearly not. On really bad days here, imagining it's the real world, I'd want a body guard and possibly to talk to the police about threats. I just delete and block here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Manners to reply to every message do cost something they cost you your time

I currently have 508 messages that have accumlated over the weekend (that’s with some filters set) because it’s been my birthday weekend and I’ve been busy haveing a life away from fab

There’s also a message cap of only being able to send 100 messages per day so I’m screwed before I’ve even started really

Do you perhaps see where the problem with being “polite” could lie?

But but manners

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really are sending out 70 messages a day, I would query your selection process on deciding who to message.

They may match what you're looking for, and by the volume you're sending can only imagine they merely need to own a vagina.

Do you check you match what THEY are looking for? Do you share the same interests?

You must be in a HUGELY populated area to stumble upon 70 women a day who's interest you feel you match, and who you've not messaged previously to no avail.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I think manners necessarily evolve to fit circumstances, and we also need to be mindful of the potential for some to abuse a notion of manners to get what they want.

Essentially men should be realistic.

Indeed. I also don't see why blokes want tons of messages explicitly saying "I don't find you attractive".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"All I have read is how woman are insulted pestered abused etc??? Where do woman get iff there high horse!! Men are abused pestered And insulted just as much as woman on here but it’s always woman complaining about it!! The guy was only asking woman to show manners and reply to him yet you have all just abused the guy for saying so and yet claim yous have been abused !!woman are the worst in this site for foul laungauge disrespect and bad manners that’s a fact ask any guy on here there is abuse from a woman every day but we don’t complain about it"

I'm a guy. I've never had abuse from a woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not all women, I'm myself. I respond to abuse I receive. You should do likewise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

This was your idea of proving only women moan about abuse then

The ability to be abusive or a moaning buggar isn’t gender specific most logical people know that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

This was your idea of proving only women moan about abuse then

The ability to be abusive or a moaning buggar isn’t gender specific most logical people know that "

If you (anyone) get abuse, report, block, delete. If you see a pattern, act on the pattern. I do so. It works for me. It works for the people I meet. It's well within Fab rules. If it doesn't work for you... tough, really.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back"

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. "

Very achievable with the right approach

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. "

Most men in swinging clubs have more finesse, though, where it's much more likely that we are. Those who do try that sort of thing on generally don't have a good time and get very little sympathy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. "

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex. "

Surely unless they have a meet advertised then for the most part they aren’t on here that just an assumption based on the nature of the sites name

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Why should I HAVE to reply? Why should I be dictated to by men? My choice to reply and if I don't fancy 69 people out of 70 who message me I should take 2 hours to reply. Thats 70 messages out of my allowance when I could be speaking to someone I want to meet! Just a point he posted in a open forum and people have answered but he hasn't replied to each of us soooo pot kettle black really?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?"

No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub.

Obviously approaches still need to be respectful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornysxguyMan
over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

This isn’t a moan, before you jump on moi, but I do find it highly amusing when people say they have no time to sift through messages. So let’s say you have a box full of messages. Sifting through isn’t an all night job, some will instantly stand out for reasons to instantly delete. Such as distance, age, preferences (yes some preference white or black over the other or vice versa) from most profile photos you’ll know if it interests you. Poor photos? Deleted. See it advertised a lot on here. Dick picks=deleted. So again, if the profile pic is of a dick then isn’t that an instant delete? Scanning profiles: we all know, as many people bring it up in here, that a guys profile is usually pretty scarce for content,if any at all. So a click on profile, scan, either a yes or no would come to mind.

Having introduced a female friend to Fabs some months ago, I’ve had the joys of seeing how a female receives attention. Starts with a lot of messages, usually due then being a new user. After a while, even being active on and off here, interest dwindles as new woman join the site. After several months I’m told that her daily incoming messages is around 10-15, which she’ll easily scan through and delete what doesn’t interest her in under an hour. So working on that basis I doubt these profiles that state they’re getting hundreds of messages a day actually are. And if they are, then good luck to them, an perhaps look at their filter settings before trying to brag over their popularity.

I can see what the OP is saying. It is frustrating to send out a lot of messages. Think last month I send around 20 odd. 2 read, 1 deleted, and 17 still sitting in inboxes despite users being on here numerous times throughout the day.

OP you need to just laugh it off, an put it down to FAB life, it won’t change, honestly. Get out to clubs, and meet people. Statistically I’d say men have more chance in a club than on here. Unless you stand out, and are in a minority, there’s little chance of actual meets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"This isn’t a moan, before you jump on moi, but I do find it highly amusing when people say they have no time to sift through messages. So let’s say you have a box full of messages. Sifting through isn’t an all night job, some will instantly stand out for reasons to instantly delete. Such as distance, age, preferences (yes some preference white or black over the other or vice versa) from most profile photos you’ll know if it interests you. Poor photos? Deleted. See it advertised a lot on here. Dick picks=deleted. So again, if the profile pic is of a dick then isn’t that an instant delete? Scanning profiles: we all know, as many people bring it up in here, that a guys profile is usually pretty scarce for content,if any at all. So a click on profile, scan, either a yes or no would come to mind.

He’s wanting women to reply every message though not just sift through and take her pick on what to reply to which is what the majority do and why the site says a no reply is a no thanks

Also take into account that your friends experience won’t be that of every lady on this site

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?

No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub.

Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. "

Success rate of here is ten to one, messages wrote with one hand on a keyboard other on there cock , stuck in there darkest fantasy.

Simple doesn’t work nothing respectable comes from the approach.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

Why not ask the mrs her opinion on this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Don't expect replies as the faq states, nice when I do get the odd reply tho but it's certainly nothing to get upset about not getting a reply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?

No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub.

Obviously approaches still need to be respectful. "

True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?

No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub.

Obviously approaches still need to be respectful.

True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply."

I know but my point about the pub analogy is that behaviour that would be completely out of order in a pub is acceptable here.

Thus, you wouldn't go up to a random woman in a pub and politely ask her if she would like to come to your hotel room for sex, yet doing that here is acceptable (assuming the woman in question hasn't specifically said in her profile she won't do that).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Someone approaching me via first message on here and asking me if I would like to go to their hotel room for sex is treating me like a free prostitute in my opinion.

I'm here for the lifestyle, to get to know people connect and go to clubs, not to go to visit someone I've never spoken to before, hotel room for sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool

"Why is it that us guys never get given or shown any manners.

The more we try the more you get shot down.

You send message after message out to see that they have been read.

And people can't even have the manners to reply.

We are here all for the same reason.

I really bet you ladies would not like to have weeks go past and not one message in your inbox.

Do manners cost these days if so i think I better win the lottery

"
If we take our No Males filter off we’re inundated with messages, it’s relentless. It would be a full time job for couples to reply to all messages. So best take it as a polite no thanks. Certainly some messages get more chance of a reply rather than a “I will bang you good”.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"Males hopping for maximum effect with minimum effort.

You standing in pub a few females about might be looking for company. Would you say fancy a play, can I make you pregnant, meet at mine tonight, want some fun etc.

Would you really.

Screw manners give me shite you get it back

To be fair, I don't think that's a very good analogy.

Women in pubs are not generally explicitly advertising they're looking for men for casual sex.

So because we are 'explicitly advertising' we should expect to be treated accordingly?

No, I'm saying that given the whole point of the site is no strings sexual encounters, it's acceptable for men to approach women with that in mind, when that wouldn't be the case in the pub.

Obviously approaches still need to be respectful.

True, alot of people are looking for no strings sexual encounters, however, not just with any bloke that offers. These men need to understand that standards and attraction still apply.

I know but my point about the pub analogy is that behaviour that would be completely out of order in a pub is acceptable here.

I have specifically said I won't do it. Some people need to go back to school for reading lessons.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 26/03/19 15:00:17]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Someone approaching me via first message on here and asking me if I would like to go to their hotel room for sex is treating me like a free prostitute in my opinion.

I'm here for the lifestyle, to get to know people connect and go to clubs, not to go to visit someone I've never spoken to before, hotel room for sex.

That's not swinging, that's a hook up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Someone approaching me via first message on here and asking me if I would like to go to their hotel room for sex is treating me like a free prostitute in my opinion.

I'm here for the lifestyle, to get to know people connect and go to clubs, not to go to visit someone I've never spoken to before, hotel room for sex.

And that's your choice, but my point is that, absent someone specifically saying they don't want that, such an approach is acceptable on here in a way it wouldn't be in a pub.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/19 15:10:35]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is not an efficient way of meeting women using the message facility alone OP. Women are inundated with decent men messaging them every day along with all the undesirable messages. It's to much of lottery whether you get read,replied to or bulk deleted read or unread. You have to look at the alternatives and the easiest is to go along to one of the many social events and chat to people."
i would agree because there a lot more losers than winners on here i think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread