FabSwingers.com forum: Missed opportunity

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We are very bad at reading signs or afraid to come across as pushy in clubs.we was in a club on Saturday and we watched a bit of play for a few minutes,afterwards the guy said you should of joined us.we wasn't invited at the time other wise we would of. A bit of advise on how to go about things or reading signs a bit better

Thanks

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"We are very bad at reading signs or afraid to come across as pushy in clubs.we was in a club on Saturday and we watched a bit of play for a few minutes,afterwards the guy said you should of joined us.we wasn't invited at the time other wise we would of. A bit of advise on how to go about things or reading signs a bit better

Thanks "

This has happened to us a few times. But we have then gone onto play at a future date. We'd rather hold back than mis interpret the signs tbh. No big rush and if paths cross in future then you are half way there.

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

I wouldn't worry about it; and incidentally, I think you did absolutely the right thing by hanging back, and not steaming in there. "Signs" - especially subtle ones can (and are) easily misinterpreted. I believe that it should up to the participants to invite others to join in.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Yep we’re confused by this as well.

Only If it’s a big group bed (no white lines etc varies by club) if there is a space big enough for us we tend to slide in and then ask when we are close enough if they want to play.

A lot of people, men and women, are not very expressive, but we’ve ended up having great fun many times with people when it wasn’t originally obvious they were interested.

Conversely If we are on the bed we normally try to make it obvious (frantic waving, hollering) to those hanging back if they are welcome to join in.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I prefer the slow and cautious approach and I always ask first. I'd much rather miss an oppertunity than mis-read the signals/situation and upset someone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your replays,if he hadn't said something afterwards we wouldn't have given it another thought.

But like has been said better to have a missed opportunity than to jump in unwanted.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

ASK.

The only way to know for sure in a club situation is to ask.

I've been on both sides, and while I hate people who push in without any warning, there have always been some who would've been welcome if they spoke up.

If you are interested in joining in, there's no harm in speaking up, and it will always be appreciated, whether the answer is yes or no.

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