FabSwingers.com forum: Pro Domme School

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Evening beautiful people,

I was wondering if anyone has experience at a mistress school in London or other places. I'm pretty confident in my abilities but having training on certain aspects would be sensible and would possibly work out better for meets or a possible career change/addition.

I know this isn't a fet site and have asked this question on another site, just wondered if anyone on this site would have any information or insight!?

Thanks guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Hi I once met someone who had been and she touted herself as trained. I’m all for learning but what she was doing seemed very basic and for anyone who’s been on the scene for a few months would probably know just as much.

I’ve done lots of education in kink and if you have something specific then I’d recommend finding someone to teach you one on one rather than a catch all ‘school’.

Plenty of demos either at local Play events or national ones. I’m doing one on corset stapling at kinkfest which is a weekend of education. That might be better value for you and you can pick and choose your subjects.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are there domme schools? You could visit a pro domme and request the things you are interested in. Or take a man friend for her to use while you learn.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

You can sometimes also ask to study under a pro Domme by watching and helping out if you can’t afford private tuition.

Most people at local fet nights will help you too.

What is it you want to learn?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Yeah they have pro domme schools.

The course I'm looking at is 10 lessons with different subjects like rope work, sounding to medical fetish. 200£ a lesson! Obviously the health and safety is huge thing for me. My best friend is a solicitor and has advised you can be prosecuted if you aren't careful.

Shadowing a pro domme and throwing questions at her is a good shout.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I have been looking for a Domme but you are miles away in England.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I have been looking for a Domme but you are miles away in England. "

I am a bit far. Im sure you'll find someone closer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

I know some superb mentors in Leicester you will need to message me as you block tgirls .. the scene is big over here and active with some exceptional specialists

In a lot of aspects of the topic you mentioned.we share knowledge to create a safe experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I know some superb mentors in Leicester you will need to message me as you block tgirls .. the scene is big over here and active with some exceptional specialists

In a lot of aspects of the topic you mentioned.we share knowledge to create a safe experience.

Amazing will do tomorrow. Thanks hun. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Yeah they have pro domme schools.

Shadowing a pro domme and throwing questions at her is a good shout.

I’m not sure how much ‘specialism’ You’ll find in 10 different subjects in one person or whether it’s more introduction to beginners and early intermediates. I run a Shibari group and I wouldn’t charge anywhere near that for private tuition and I’ve trained in London Paris and

Copenhagen! And when I say London I mean a dedicated rope studio with expertise.

Seriously if I were you I’d choose a few topics you like and find a pro Domme or expert in each to teach you or take the shadow a pro Domme option. I can recommend good rope tuition all over the uk if you PM me and they’ll be very safe and knowledgable. You’ll also find local fet nights are good for talking to House dom/mes as to what’s best so try to find one near you.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Yeah they have pro domme schools.

Shadowing a pro domme and throwing questions at her is a good shout.

Copenhagen! And when I say London I mean a dedicated rope studio with expertise.

Good luck

Yeah I did think it was a bit much for an hour lesson with most stuff I already know. Ill PM you

Thanks for your help

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes it can be good to talk to subs as well as they sometimes know what they take and how best to achieve the result

know a few dommes who have learnt from subs on how to improve their skills

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Yeah I did think it was a bit much for an hour lesson with most stuff I already know. Ill PM you

Thanks for your help

I can’t message you but you might want to see my alter ego profile NotForSofties too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"sometimes it can be good to talk to subs as well as they sometimes know what they take and how best to achieve the result

know a few dommes who have learnt from subs on how to improve their skills"

I 100% agree on that. Its important to have both opinions and we can all learn from one another

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sometimes it can be good to talk to subs as well as they sometimes know what they take and how best to achieve the result

know a few dommes who have learnt from subs on how to improve their skills

I 100% agree on that. Its important to have both opinions and we can all learn from one another

have you thought about attending kinkfest?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"sometimes it can be good to talk to subs as well as they sometimes know what they take and how best to achieve the result

know a few dommes who have learnt from subs on how to improve their skills

I 100% agree on that. Its important to have both opinions and we can all learn from one another

have you thought about attending kinkfest?"

I have but just need to check that thing called a work schedule

it kills all my fun!! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would without hesitation recommend SecretlyaSoftie's skills.

I have seen that Miss Kim Rub runs a mistress workshop. She can be found on FL.Anyone who has been on it please provide commentary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idddleWoman
over a year ago

southampton

You can learn a lot about ropework at your local peer rope, which will be a lot cheaper than lessons or shadowing a Domme, Havnt been to Cambridge peer in eons but it was always very good.

EChoing what others have said there are pro’s to joining the local scene and learning from a range of people rather than one (or however many run “the course”s )it may be beneficial to have a course under your belt for insurance. But I’d be concerned of risk of that being just cashing in and teaching one true way is.

I’ve been to a great many learning events over the years and they really do vary a lot in quality, so putting all your eggs in one basket could end up a mistake both to your development into individualism, finding your way, or. Worse could teach you some poor practices.

But then so could peer learning, keep your head about you, question, read up on stuff, especially nerves.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a lady on this site who teaches rope bondage among other things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"There is a lady on this site who teaches rope bondage among other things. "

I think you might mean me but if not have you got more details of who it is?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I would without hesitation recommend SecretlyaSoftie's skills.

I have seen that Miss Kim Rub runs a mistress workshop. She can be found on FL.Anyone who has been on it please provide commentary."

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a lady on this site who teaches rope bondage among other things.

I think you might mean me but if not have you got more details of who it is?"

Shes from south Wales.. I'm not sure if I should post her name here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Subs are often overlooked when it comes to seeking advice. Best Dom I’ve had skied me loads of questions before we started to explore what I liked and disliked. It’s necessary in case there’s any medical issues that may be triggered or aggravated. Aftercare is also important. Learn how to look after your sub.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Subs are often overlooked when it comes to seeking advice. Best Dom I’ve had skied me loads of questions before we started to explore what I liked and disliked. It’s necessary in case there’s any medical issues that may be triggered or aggravated. Aftercare is also important. Learn how to look after your sub. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Yeah I agree with that, luckily I do well with aftercare etc. I ask about every type of medical conditions which is on my profile etc also I am first aid trained which is good I guess. I definitely have that conversation with subs but that would be for the individual but I'm looking for guidance with the techniques and skill for particular acts as a whole

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Sorry to sidetrack but one of the things that triggered me having a break from F/L and kink was the following. I was in the dungeon at TG talking to a woman. We were watching the house dom, and and she said to me "I have played with him he is amazing, he asks what do you want". Looking at the play at TG I heard no negotiation and a number of the bottoms were clearly new to play.

A proper negotiation and discussion is not the gold standard but the most basic thing you do before you play, it goes to the heart of consent.

Finding out if aftercare is required is equally important (some need it some don't).

Developing appropriate checklists for negation by a dom is important. Not all of it is about physical pain but also covering psychological triggers.

However it is also on bottoms to lead on negotiation if the top does not do it. As the bottoms should want to know in detail what is involved.

The scene concerns me if most people are not doing this.

Sorry, rant over, as you were!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I know your looking for tuition and to learn techniques. Find your local dungeon and speak to the Dommes. They sometimes run club nights on a regular basis and it’s a good way to meet people with the skill set your looking for. Or you can pay a Domme to teach you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can show you how to tie stuff to lorries with ropes if you like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Thankyou

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"You can learn a lot about ropework at your local peer rope, which will be a lot cheaper than lessons or shadowing a Domme, Havnt been to Cambridge peer in eons but it was always very good.

But then so could peer learning, keep your head about you, question, read up on stuff, especially nerves.

Good luck

Yeah thats the dilemma. Think your right. Probably wise to listen to experienced dom/mes and then maybe do a course if I decide to take it further for insurance purposes. People usually get fed up with me asking questions as I'm very inquisitive. Thank you for your reply much appreciated. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Sorry to sidetrack but one of the things that triggered me having a break from F/L and kink was the following. I was in the dungeon at TG talking to a woman. We were watching the house dom, and and she said to me "I have played with him he is amazing, he asks what do you want". Looking at the play at TG I heard no negotiation and a number of the bottoms were clearly new to play.

A proper negotiation and discussion is not the gold standard but the most basic thing you do before you play, it goes to the heart of consent.

Finding out if aftercare is required is equally important (some need it some don't).

Developing appropriate checklists for negation by a dom is important. Not all of it is about physical pain but also covering psychological triggers.

However it is also on bottoms to lead on negotiation if the top does not do it. As the bottoms should want to know in detail what is involved.

The scene concerns me if most people are not doing this.

Sorry, rant over, as you were!

No need to apologise, good to rant!! Psychological triggers are massively important, last thing you want is for them to have a panic attack because they're claustrophobic and I've not asked or taken the time. Tbh I'll always state what my hard limits are too because I may not be able to give them what they desire. Always good to hear peoples thoughts on the matter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Another recommendation for SecretlyASoftie/NotForSofties here - she scares the heck out of me (

) but having seen her in action she knows her stuff

Also, have never met him but have swapped many a message with him and Zensual is another experienced and wise voice.

Talking to other dominants AND submissives is definitely the way to go though - am sure there must be a munch in Cambridge which would be a good place to start

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

£200 per lesson!!! Jeez, I know it's London, but that is RIDICULOUS!!

I have been a pro Domme for 18 years now and most of my training in the early days came from watching, listening, asking questions and finding a great mentor who took me under he wing. The rest was experience and practice. I do training myself but I literally cover my costs for one to one and I do group training on our main BDSM nights for nothing!

I truly believe that you do not need to charge £200 per hour to learn your craft. You need patience, as it doesn't happen overnight. You need a good mentor, as she will guide you at your pace. You need to watch as many other people as possible to learn what NOT to do! Finally, you need to learn for you and not for financial gain. I won't train anyone to work professional unless they have had years on the scene!

Good luck xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish i had a domme

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Another recommendation for SecretlyASoftie/NotForSofties here - she scares the heck out of me (

) but having seen her in action she knows her stuff

Also, have never met him but have swapped many a message with him and Zensual is another experienced and wise voice.

Talking to other dominants AND submissives is definitely the way to go though - am sure there must be a munch in Cambridge which would be a good place to start

Awww thank you lovely. I don’t scare you that much (I hope lol). Ok maybe with a stapler in my hand... :D

I do know Zensual, for quite some years now and he’s a stickler for good negotiation, absolutely as it should be, and spends hours honing his chosen crafts like very few others I see do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Thanks SecretlyASoftie and Gemini Man.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shadowed a pro Domme for a while to learn the ropes (see what I did there!) It was great for learning the health and safety aspect but I but I could only really learn what her clients were interested in, I think a "school" would have given me a better all round knowledge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

A proper negotiation and discussion is not the gold standard but the most basic thing you do before you play, it goes to the heart of consent.

Finding out if aftercare is required is equally important (some need it some don't).

Developing appropriate checklists for negation by a dom is important. Not all of it is about physical pain but also covering psychological triggers.

However it is also on bottoms to lead on negotiation if the top does not do it. As the bottoms should want to know in detail what is involved.

The scene concerns me if most people are not doing this.

Sorry, rant over, as you were!

Thanks,

In terms of technical skills, and in regard to flogging I would recommend Aemelia Hawke's workshops and her DVD the art of flogging.

I would also recommend Bondatrix, she has developed a series of workshops, covering flogging, caning, playing with the senses.

I would agree £200 an hour seems excessive.

Have you tried going to a Femdom night and speaking to house dommes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ownandDoggyCouple
over a year ago

Hove

Any recommendations for bi dommes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

You really sure you want that career change, it’s not really a great choice, depending on where you are located you need a basic kit that will be costly and after you will need more and more, using the local dungeons will be a big dent in the money you make and setting up your own will be into the thousands, you will be classed as a sex worker and will face the same risks as such, everyone just sees the 120 per hour but has no idea what a pro domme puts in to make that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

A proper negotiation and discussion is not the gold standard but the most basic thing you do before you play, it goes to the heart of consent.

Finding out if aftercare is required is equally important (some need it some don't).

Developing appropriate checklists for negation by a dom is important. Not all of it is about physical pain but also covering psychological triggers.

However it is also on bottoms to lead on negotiation if the top does not do it. As the bottoms should want to know in detail what is involved.

The scene concerns me if most people are not doing this.

Sorry, rant over, as you were!

Thanks,

In terms of technical skills, and in regard to flogging I would recommend Aemelia Hawke's workshops and her DVD the art of flogging.

I would also recommend Bondatrix, she has developed a series of workshops, covering flogging, caning, playing with the senses.

I would agree £200 an hour seems excessive.

Have you tried going to a Femdom night and speaking to house dommes?"

A few but I think I need to speak to various dom/mes and subs to gain experience and knowledge. I'm cool with it taking time and quite enjoy the process of learning. Thankyou for your input

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"You really sure you want that career change, it’s not really a great choice, depending on where you are located you need a basic kit that will be costly and after you will need more and more, using the local dungeons will be a big dent in the money you make and setting up your own will be into the thousands, you will be classed as a sex worker and will face the same risks as such, everyone just sees the 120 per hour but has no idea what a pro domme puts in to make that"

I'm in a lucky position that money isnt an issue (don't mean that to be showy) I don't think it would be for quite some time if it did happen. Good points to think about though. Thankyou xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you're a reasonably intelligent person and it's a passion of yours, you shouldn't need training.

You'll naturally research and experiment with what you've learnt. There's a tonne of information out there for free. It doesn't take much to figure out what books are worth reading.

A simple question on Fab can point you in the right direction and partially what the forums are best for. Asking those questions and gauging the reaction of the crowd.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I think if you're a reasonably intelligent person and it's a passion of yours, you shouldn't need training.

You'll naturally research and experiment with what you've learnt. There's a tonne of information out there for free. It doesn't take much to figure out what books are worth reading.

A simple question on Fab can point you in the right direction and partially what the forums are best for. Asking those questions and gauging the reaction of the crowd."

I don't agree with your first comment. When I have someone's health and safety in my hands I dont think just reading up on stuff is a wise move. Taking in to consideration how different people learn it wouldn't serve me well to just stick to that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if you're a reasonably intelligent person and it's a passion of yours, you shouldn't need training.

You'll naturally research and experiment with what you've learnt. There's a tonne of information out there for free. It doesn't take much to figure out what books are worth reading.

A simple question on Fab can point you in the right direction and partially what the forums are best for. Asking those questions and gauging the reaction of the crowd.

Whichever way is best for you to learn. That's a very good point. My son's learn in different ways, I do from others as well.

Well made

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are two very well attended female Dom events in the Midlands where dommes share knowledge and help each other learn

As for asking too many questions always believed the only stupid one was the one you did not ask

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in the Midlands OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I live in the Midlands OP

And why would that be relevant?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if you're a reasonably intelligent person and it's a passion of yours, you shouldn't need training.

You'll naturally research and experiment with what you've learnt. There's a tonne of information out there for free. It doesn't take much to figure out what books are worth reading.

A simple question on Fab can point you in the right direction and partially what the forums are best for. Asking those questions and gauging the reaction of the crowd.

I learnt rope work when I was a submissive from a gent on fab. You definitely do need training. Most dom and dommes think that beating someone is being dominant, it isn't. It's about controlling the mind and body. Good luck OP xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A proper negotiation and discussion is not the gold standard but the most basic thing you do before you play, it goes to the heart of consent.

Finding out if aftercare is required is equally important (some need it some don't).

Developing appropriate checklists for negation by a dom is important. Not all of it is about physical pain but also covering psychological triggers.

However it is also on bottoms to lead on negotiation if the top does not do it. As the bottoms should want to know in detail what is involved.

The scene concerns me if most people are not doing this.

Sorry, rant over, as you were!

Amazing point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

More thoughts

Get in touch with pro Dommes local to you are offer double domme sessions for free for a few sessions, do that with as many as you can, more to learn and the pro Dommes also make money from this so I’m sure will oblige, and you will be able to tell if you want to go any further.

Then seriously promote yourself, it’s a business and that’s the only way to go forward, think about clips for sale, pro photos, websites social media and promotions via fem Dom ball and the various other ones around the uk queen bee, bitches unleashed etc

Learn all about kinks from the various peer groups needle play breath play most are done more privately with select groups

The most common kinks you will already know well and that’s most of the day to day but you will have risky kinks asked for breath play depth play Chemical play, you really need to know your stuff most pro Dommes don’t touch it and I’d advice you to do the same

Get on a first aid course is a good bet too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbells OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"More thoughts

Learn all about kinks from the various peer groups needle play breath play most are done more privately with select groups

Get on a first aid course is a good bet too"

Yeah needles are a hard limit for me as I'm terrified of needles. I go all clammy and white at sight of them but the other kinks I need training for sure. I'm already first aid trained but this thread has been so helpful so thankyou to everyone who replied. Much love 3

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread