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"I have never been to a sleazy club. A bit of a dodgy cinema once, but that's another story. Check club reviews and see what people say about the club. But it gives you chance to meet 30, 50, 80 people who are all interested in the lifestyle in person all in one evening. Much easier than getting to know people via pictures and words." also research the night/theme of the date you might take the plunge as that could make or break the experience. | |||
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"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others. We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up. So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? " . I can understand your frustration I am not the most photogenic and I can’t accommodate so I tend go to social events where people can meet and see the real me I am a member at a club and no it’s not sleazy.Look in your area for social events and look at clubs within the radius you are prepared to travel to. | |||
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"Ignore what you've read in the press, they like to sensationalise things and make swinging sound sleazy. Don't let that put you off trying a club OP. X" They certainly do. The day I read 'Mrs R sat at the bar, chatting whilst drinking her latte, followed by watching a couple play on the big bed' I know the journos have got it right......Don't get me wrong some visits have been like the script from a porno tho, but not all. | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic." Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again? | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic. Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?" By my own definitions, yes. I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet. I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all. | |||
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"Fab is really best at being a platform to keep in touch with people you've met at clubs. " This is how we see it. | |||
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"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go. Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake. " Try Club F its fun and friendly! L | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic. Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again? By my own definitions, yes. I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet. I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all. " I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again. | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic. Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?" Don’t know if we are swingers. We’ve had NSA sex with maybe 20 couples and singles who we’ve met on various profiles on Fab over the years. Never been to a club. Struggle to meet nice couples now on Fab. A few experiences with single guys, who are easy to find, has put us off single guys now so it’s only couples from now on. That’s why we’re careful with clubs because a bad, sleazy experience might just kill swinging for us. That’s why we’re just getting opinions. Travelling to clubs was not an option for us until recently so we’ve had to suffer Fab. | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic. Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again? By my own definitions, yes. I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet. I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all. I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again. " Oh yes.. I'm very much like that. I'm not so keen on cold meets. I like them hot and spicy. I have done what you're suggesting, in the past, which is why I know it's not for me. Not now. Maybe never again. | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic. Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again? By my own definitions, yes. I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet. I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all. I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again. Oh yes.. I'm very much like that. I'm not so keen on cold meets. I like them hot and spicy. I have done what you're suggesting, in the past, which is why I know it's not for me. Not now. Maybe never again." I'm not sure what's "cold" about finding someone so attractive, so sexual, that you can form a bond and have passionate sex with them without having to know their voting history. But each to their own as people like to say. | |||
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"I didn't mean you are cold. I meant that kind of sex feels cold to me." Passionate "eyes meeting across a busy room" type sex seems cold to you? Ok. | |||
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"I didn't mean you are cold. I meant that kind of sex feels cold to me. Passionate "eyes meeting across a busy room" type sex seems cold to you? Ok." I'm glad we understand each other. | |||
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"Fab is really best at being a platform to keep in touch with people you've met at clubs. " For some people maybe...... | |||
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"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go. Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake. Try Club F its fun and friendly! L" Yes club f is a very nice and friendly place, you can also stay over in there very nice rooms x | |||
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"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion. In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known. It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes. I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic." Hi. I’ve been on fab for approx 9 months and found that i get more messages from couples or gay men than I do from single females. The thing is - i haven’t listed anywhere on my profile that i want to meet couples or gay men. I take it as a compliment and i’m not complaining - it is always nice to receive positive and kind messages over the other type but it definitely made me think about the overall dynamic of the site. I should imagine the experience for single women is a much more fruitful one when you consider the very large group of male candidates to choose from. For the men, I often wonder if Fab (the clue is in the title) is ultimately geared towards couples and couples, couples and singles or a bigger group experience. This view is not just down to my own lack of personal success on the site but by reading the forums over a period of time and listening to what the community has said and recommended. E.g. attend a local club or contribute on the forums more to expand your circle of friends. Either way, it often surprises me to see messages like yours from men who have everything going for them i.e. looks, age, size (in all depts!), personality, and a great a profile! And yet are still finding it difficult. If anything - I guess it sort of helps make the average Joe (like me) realise just how difficult it is to get noticed, stand out from the crowd and enjoy the fantasy lifestyle we thought Fab was going to be! Keep your pecker up and remain positive! A sexy single lady could be just around the corner..... | |||
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"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go. Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake. " Can highly recommend Infusion at Blackpool as well, just back from a brilliant weekend there. Although we've played for many years clubs are a relatively recent addition to our play and we really wouldn't go back to meets outside of clubs. | |||
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"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go. Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake. " If you're looking for northern clubs there is club f in Stanley near Newcastle or club shhh in Newcastle city centre. They're both great, friendly and relaxed clubs | |||
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"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others. We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up. So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? " We do not meet men locally but we are in Carlisle You live in Glasgow a city of 3 million people you would be ok a cj... | |||
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"Thanks for all the advice. We think we’ll probably head to the Townhouse in Liverpool. A couple of people have suggested it and we always wanted a city break in Liverpool. " I host a couple of the events at Townhouse. It’s a great club, and there is a lot of variety in the events you will find there too, but Saturday nights are great for new couples. There’s a limit on single guys to 8 & they must be members. It’s also a really social night, DJ, buffet, end of month parties always have a theme. Make sure you pick an evening that sounds like it would suit you though - the wrong event can be as off-putting as the wrong club! If you need any pointers, feel free to drop me a message! M xx | |||
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"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others. We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up. So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? " We'd heard the sordid stories in the sunday papers about swinging clubs, then 3 years ago a friend of ours introduced us to swinging by taking us to Chameleons. We weren't sure what it was going to be like, when we first arrived we were nervous but once we got inside an realised it wasn't as sordid as the papers had painted in past we have never looked back and we love going when we can. | |||
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"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others. We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up. So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? We do not meet men locally but we are in Carlisle You live in Glasgow a city of 3 million people you would be ok a cj... " We have friends who live in flats across the road from CJs. We’re trying to keep our lifestyle secret so it’s just a bit too risky that we might be spotted. | |||
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"Have you thought about a city break, somewhere with a large (and different) catchment area on Fab? " We could have a city break but think it would have to tie in with a club. We have thought of trying to arrange a Fab meet on a city break, as opposed to going to a club, but Fab meets are so unreliable we wouldn’t take the risk. If we’re travelling a club gives us a better chance. | |||
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"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others. We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up. So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? " In my experience clubs can be a bit hit and miss, but they are a good place to meet people. But in all honesty I prefer the intimacy of conversation over a couple of drinks in the bar and the comfort and intimacy of a big hotel bed. More relaxed and for me that makes it more fun. | |||
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"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go. Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake. " You are spoilt for choice in Manchester and Leeds .. I'm going to Cupids in Manchester on Saturday night with my 3 bi single female friends.. It's a lovely club and they always make us feel welcome .. I tend to only meet in the club's these days. I love the social side to swinging and often go on lots of event nights .. Have a look on the forums for some events x | |||
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"We prefer going out to clubs. Even if we don’t meet another couple on the night, we always have a good time and have met some lovely people along the way. Agree with the overthinking it comment... I think trying to find the perfect “ticks all the boxes” on fab just seems a bit tedious. " Agree we have had so many timewasters but when we have arranged a club meet if they let you down always found another lovely sexy cpl willing to play | |||
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"We prefer going out to clubs. Even if we don’t meet another couple on the night, we always have a good time and have met some lovely people along the way. Agree with the overthinking it comment... I think trying to find the perfect “ticks all the boxes” on fab just seems a bit tedious. Agree we have had so many timewasters but when we have arranged a club meet if they let you down always found another lovely sexy cpl willing to play " This | |||
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