FabSwingers.com forum: Fab versus Club

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others.

We’ve thought about clubs but wouldn’t go local so would travel. Some gutter press articles relating to incidents at clubs have put us off as they sound sleazy but yet many meet there. Worried if our first club is sleazy then we’ll just give up.

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ?

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By *omerset tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

Maybe the clubs by you are different but ive been to a club/clubs bout 15 times and they have always been very dignified events never any trouble and everybody has always had a great night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over thinking it all really....

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

We prefer going out to clubs. Even if we don’t meet another couple on the night, we always have a good time and have met some lovely people along the way.

Agree with the overthinking it comment... I think trying to find the perfect “ticks all the boxes” on fab just seems a bit tedious.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Ignore what you've read in the press, they like to sensationalise things and make swinging sound sleazy. Don't let that put you off trying a club OP. X

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Most of the clubs I've been to haven't been sleazy (well, they are what they are, but there's no pressure and everyone is there for the same thing). It's like a bar where people are wearing less clothes, and you can go off to a nearby area and have sex. Ask around if you can, find clubs with good reputations with couples and women, and go from there.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Never had an issue with any of the clubs we have visited in the UK.

We meet most like minded couples this way.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I have never been to a sleazy club. A bit of a dodgy cinema once, but that's another story.

Check club reviews and see what people say about the club.

But it gives you chance to meet 30, 50, 80 people who are all interested in the lifestyle in person all in one evening.

Much easier than getting to know people via pictures and words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never been to a sleazy club. A bit of a dodgy cinema once, but that's another story.

Check club reviews and see what people say about the club.

But it gives you chance to meet 30, 50, 80 people who are all interested in the lifestyle in person all in one evening.

Much easier than getting to know people via pictures and words."

also research the night/theme of the date you might take the plunge as that could make or break the experience.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

It's always nice to go to club with someone that you have met before

Even if it isn't for play

Just puts you a bit more at ease

Have a social , suggest a club ?

Lots don't fancy turning up on there own

We treat a club as a spa experience for us , and we chat and flirty if we feel like it

Plenty of times we've not even dressed down

Plenty of times , we've just done our own thing

If you start to say what about this and that , you won't enjoy yourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always suggest club. One reason the people who are there are genuine swingers. I’ve been to clubs near on 40 times. I’ve not always played but I’ve always had a good time

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

We only meet in clubs. Have never really used fab for meets, but just tend to put where we are going and when (next club visit milf mon tomorrow yay!). People contact us and we take it from there. We are going anyhow, but would never just plan anything off messages from here. Too many talk a good talk and bail at the last minute.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Fab is really best at being a platform to keep in touch with people you've met at clubs.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"We really struggle to get a meet on Fab with another couple similar to ourselves. Maybe our age really limits us, maybe we’re not photogenic, maybe our standards are too high (looking for educated couple in reasonable shape). We have met people in the past but recently there’s just no interest from compatible others.

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? "
. I can understand your frustration I am not the most photogenic and I can’t accommodate so I tend go to social events where people can meet and see the real me I am a member at a club and no it’s not sleazy.Look in your area for social events and look at clubs within the radius you are prepared to travel to.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Ignore what you've read in the press, they like to sensationalise things and make swinging sound sleazy. Don't let that put you off trying a club OP. X"

They certainly do. The day I read 'Mrs R sat at the bar, chatting whilst drinking her latte, followed by watching a couple play on the big bed' I know the journos have got it right......Don't get me wrong some visits have been like the script from a porno tho, but not all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get to a club...

Met some really lovely couples.. now friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

Since we’re in Scotland it sounds like northern England clubs would be best so we’ll look at a city break in Manchester or Liverpool. That way we can have a nice weekend and club is just icing on the cake.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic."

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?"

By my own definitions, yes.

I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet.

I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

"Fab is really best at being a platform to keep in touch with people you've met at clubs. "

This is how we see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

Try Club F its fun and friendly! L

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

You have the same perception as we did about the clubs OP.

Go along and try one, do your research first so its the right club for you, dress code etc and we will be amazed if you haven't changed your opinion after being there.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?

By my own definitions, yes.

I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet.

I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all. "

I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?"

Don’t know if we are swingers. We’ve had NSA sex with maybe 20 couples and singles who we’ve met on various profiles on Fab over the years. Never been to a club. Struggle to meet nice couples now on Fab.

A few experiences with single guys, who are easy to find, has put us off single guys now so it’s only couples from now on. That’s why we’re careful with clubs because a bad, sleazy experience might just kill swinging for us.

That’s why we’re just getting opinions. Travelling to clubs was not an option for us until recently so we’ve had to suffer Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?

By my own definitions, yes.

I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet.

I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all.

I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again. "

Oh yes.. I'm very much like that. I'm not so keen on cold meets. I like them hot and spicy.

I have done what you're suggesting, in the past, which is why I know it's not for me. Not now. Maybe never again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Club.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic.

Do you believe you are a swinger? You sound like you over think things. Why would you worry about something that might not happen, with someone you may never meet again?

By my own definitions, yes.

I do over-think things, well spotted. I dont think I worry about things that might not happen with people I may never meet.

I worry about that as and when it's happening. Sometimes. I find it easier to get to know someone online a bit first is all.

I expect you'll just be put off of them for something they say that you'll make a big deal of, when you could have just met them in a club, fancied them, fucked them, then never met them again.

Oh yes.. I'm very much like that. I'm not so keen on cold meets. I like them hot and spicy.

I have done what you're suggesting, in the past, which is why I know it's not for me. Not now. Maybe never again."

I'm not sure what's "cold" about finding someone so attractive, so sexual, that you can form a bond and have passionate sex with them without having to know their voting history. But each to their own as people like to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't mean you are cold. I meant that kind of sex feels cold to me.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I didn't mean you are cold. I meant that kind of sex feels cold to me."

Passionate "eyes meeting across a busy room" type sex seems cold to you? Ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't mean you are cold. I meant that kind of sex feels cold to me.

Passionate "eyes meeting across a busy room" type sex seems cold to you? Ok."

I'm glad we understand each other.

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By *havenpussycatsCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

We use clubs for fun nights out together, but playdates have always been arranged via Fab (or follow on meets with couples already met). If we meet someone in a club and play it's invariably off the back of a prior connect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples wise we stick to the club scene and always will. It's hard to find on fab a couple we are both into and it's easier to do that in a club as you are seeing people face to face.

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By *dtittyCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We've never had any problems in clubs, they are what they are it's like a normal pub but people tend to be more chatty and obviously people disappear for their fun and games. It might be worth looking into and asking about the ones your thinking about? They all have slightly different set ups and play roons

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Fab is really best at being a platform to keep in touch with people you've met at clubs. "

For some people maybe......

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

Try Club F its fun and friendly! L"

Yes club f is a very nice and friendly place, you can also stay over in there very nice rooms

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If you're thinking Manchester, Cupids gets my vote.

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By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

[Removed by poster at 03/03/19 16:34:59]

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By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I struggle to meet on either. People tend not to write much about themselves for me to form an opinion.

In a club I wouldn't be seeing as much of a picture as I may like. I may be with someone I find to be repulsive at a later date, after more is known.

It must be much harder for couples, you've your own separate things things you like, that must align. Before even finding someone else who ticks those boxes.

I wouldn't worry too much. It just means when you do find someone you click with. The time will probably be epic."

Hi. I’ve been on fab for approx 9 months and found that i get more messages from couples or gay men than I do from single females. The thing is - i haven’t listed anywhere on my profile that i want to meet couples or gay men. I take it as a compliment and i’m not complaining - it is always nice to receive positive and kind messages over the other type but it definitely made me think about the overall dynamic of the site.

I should imagine the experience for single women is a much more fruitful one when you consider the very large group of male candidates to choose from. For the men, I often wonder if Fab (the clue is in the title) is ultimately geared towards couples and couples, couples and singles or a bigger group experience.

This view is not just down to my own lack of personal success on the site but by reading the forums over a period of time and listening to what the community has said and recommended. E.g. attend a local club or contribute on the forums more to expand your circle of friends.

Either way, it often surprises me to see messages like yours from men who have everything going for them i.e. looks, age, size (in all depts!), personality, and a great a profile! And yet are still finding it difficult. If anything - I guess it sort of helps make the average Joe (like me) realise just how difficult it is to get noticed, stand out from the crowd and enjoy the fantasy lifestyle we thought Fab was going to be!

Keep your pecker up and remain positive! A sexy single lady could be just around the corner.....

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

Can highly recommend Infusion at Blackpool as well, just back from a brilliant weekend there. Although we've played for many years clubs are a relatively recent addition to our play and we really wouldn't go back to meets outside of clubs.

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

If you're looking for northern clubs there is club f in Stanley near Newcastle or club shhh in Newcastle city centre. They're both great, friendly and relaxed clubs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice.

We think we’ll probably head to the Townhouse in Liverpool. A couple of people have suggested it and we always wanted a city break in Liverpool.

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

Use Both , don’t make it Fab v Club

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? "

We do not meet men locally but we are in Carlisle You live in Glasgow a city of 3 million people you would be ok a cj...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is ok if you have the time and patience ie working out who's really interested and then trying to all have some spare time available at the same time.

Or just rock up to a club and get chatting around the bar area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

CJ,s is close to you and is the best club I've been to, there's no pressure and have a friendly relaxed clientele, well worth a try for you i.d think

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Thanks for all the advice.

We think we’ll probably head to the Townhouse in Liverpool. A couple of people have suggested it and we always wanted a city break in Liverpool. "

I host a couple of the events at Townhouse. It’s a great club, and there is a lot of variety in the events you will find there too, but Saturday nights are great for new couples. There’s a limit on single guys to 8 & they must be members. It’s also a really social night, DJ, buffet, end of month parties always have a theme.

Make sure you pick an evening that sounds like it would suit you though - the wrong event can be as off-putting as the wrong club!

If you need any pointers, feel free to drop me a message!

M xx

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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago

Kidderminster

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? "

We'd heard the sordid stories in the sunday papers about swinging clubs, then 3 years ago a friend of ours introduced us to swinging by taking us to Chameleons. We weren't sure what it was going to be like, when we first arrived we were nervous but once we got inside an realised it wasn't as sordid as the papers had painted in past we have never looked back and we love going when we can.

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By *esires of HertsCouple
over a year ago

Herts and London Borders

We like a clubs, meets at home and a party...mix it up a bit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ?

We do not meet men locally but we are in Carlisle You live in Glasgow a city of 3 million people you would be ok a cj...

We have friends who live in flats across the road from CJs. We’re trying to keep our lifestyle secret so it’s just a bit too risky that we might be spotted.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Have you thought about a city break, somewhere with a large (and different) catchment area on Fab?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you thought about a city break, somewhere with a large (and different) catchment area on Fab?

We could have a city break but think it would have to tie in with a club. We have thought of trying to arrange a Fab meet on a city break, as opposed to going to a club, but Fab meets are so unreliable we wouldn’t take the risk. If we’re travelling a club gives us a better chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some prefer clubs some prefer meeting on line but most do both and take the best from both and it makes most sense to do that to me but if you are not enjoying fab give it up or have a break.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that fab is 100x harder then at the clubs but that may be partly down to us. Been to a few clubs and go with the intention of having fun with my other half. If we meet people there its a bonus. But on fab its a real mission to stand out.

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By *reamytitwankCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We only really meet new people in clubs. We haven't got time to do socials which are usually hit and miss. Whereas if you meet in a club and there is no chemistry it doesn't matter because you know there is other couples for them/you to play with.

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

I like both but I would say its slightly better on line as you have more time to make your mind up on someone. But than you don't have 10yr old images in a club so its a close thnig.

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

So should we just persevere with Fab, maybe cast the net wider, or bite the bullet and go to a club with the risk a bad experience would put us off the whole swinging thing as being too sleazy ? "

In my experience clubs can be a bit hit and miss, but they are a good place to meet people.

But in all honesty I prefer the intimacy of conversation over a couple of drinks in the bar and the comfort and intimacy of a big hotel bed. More relaxed and for me that makes it more fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all the useful advice. Really sounds like a club is the way to go.

You are spoilt for choice in Manchester and Leeds .. I'm going to Cupids in Manchester on Saturday night with my 3 bi single female friends.. It's a lovely club and they always make us feel welcome .. I tend to only meet in the club's these days. I love the social side to swinging and often go on lots of event nights .. Have a look on the forums for some events x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and suspend judgments,

Definitely suspend expectations,

Go along to meet people, have a good social night with some good chat and no pressure and you may be pleasantly surprised

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By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

We empathise fully OP.

We have only played at Clubs and generally enjoyed it.

We would also like to meet some sexy couples for a private meet but 4 way compatibility is so very hard to achieve.

That combined with fake couples and genuine couples who suddenly end up just being the male who wants to play, adds to the frustration.

We both swung with previous partners around 10 years ago. The meeting like couples then seemed so much easier.

Whatever you do, enjoy. Be happy and expect to expect nothing.

Love and hugs

Enn & Ess xxxxxxx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Organised socials are good for making new friends too.

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By *harliebluestockingsCouple
over a year ago

london

We like both. But agree couples are far harder to get a good all round vibe from fabs. Find a club atmosphere far better and more likely all 4 will get stuck in. As we used to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

face to face meets tend to be more successful than fab in my experience too as much of the time if you contact someone here from what I can see the message is read and maybe the profile and if they don't like what they see that's it, in a club you can get a chance to strike up a conversation before minds are made up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We prefer going out to clubs. Even if we don’t meet another couple on the night, we always have a good time and have met some lovely people along the way.

Agree with the overthinking it comment... I think trying to find the perfect “ticks all the boxes” on fab just seems a bit tedious.

Agree we have had so many timewasters but when we have arranged a club meet if they let you down always found another lovely sexy cpl willing to play

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Clubs all the way for us. It's our social life rather than purely meet for sex

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"We prefer going out to clubs. Even if we don’t meet another couple on the night, we always have a good time and have met some lovely people along the way.

Agree with the overthinking it comment... I think trying to find the perfect “ticks all the boxes” on fab just seems a bit tedious.

Agree we have had so many timewasters but when we have arranged a club meet if they let you down always found another lovely sexy cpl willing to play "
This

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We started swinging by clubbing, went at least once a month to La Chambre or Chameleons for a couple of years then moved on to mainly home meets. Been to quite a few clubs over the years, in UK and abroad but we've never been to a sleazy club.

Fab can be hard work, we've had fun through many contacts here but a lot of home play has been through people we've met in clubs and their friends. We think the chance of playing in clubs is much higher than through on-line contacts.

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