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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Depends on what the ladies or the couples profile says.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Read the profile. Think about what you like about them, what they might like about you, what you might have in common. Go with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do copy and paste messages, there is nothing that says I can't be bothered making an effort like a copy and pasted message. I never reply. Read profile and make contact based on that xxx

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

See I’ve never liked the thought of just jumping straight into it if you know what I mean so I always just try to make conversation first

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"See I’ve never liked the thought of just jumping straight into it if you know what I mean so I always just try to make conversation first "

Think about it like you're replying to an ad in a newspaper or something. This is why you, why me.

There's a lot of room between boring pleasantries and creepy sexual fantasies (creepy when sent as a first message to a stranger, anyway).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??"

What would you ask them face to face if you got the introduction out of the way? Would you talk sex? Or would you try an establish a bond and some trust before you started flirting and heavily suggesting things?

I avoid talking sex unless conversation is naturally flowing that way.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

What would you ask them face to face if you got the introduction out of the way? Would you talk sex? Or would you try an establish a bond and some trust before you started flirting and heavily suggesting things?

I avoid talking sex unless conversation is naturally flowing that way. "

I’m the same just never seem to get a reply when being polite

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

What would you ask them face to face if you got the introduction out of the way? Would you talk sex? Or would you try an establish a bond and some trust before you started flirting and heavily suggesting things?

I avoid talking sex unless conversation is naturally flowing that way.

I’m the same just never seem to get a reply when being polite "

Problem is, you have to stand out. Even on a bad day I get too many messages. How do you sell yourself so that someone will want to reply to you? How are you/ hope you're enjoying Fab/ can I ask you a question please are a dime a dozen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing."

Yeah they are read, then deleted soon after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing.

Yeah they are read, then deleted soon after "

Okay, maybe look at your profile and see if you can make some changes. Can’t really give specific advice unless you ask for it but having a few more clear photos will help....

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing.

Yeah they are read, then deleted soon after

Okay, maybe look at your profile and see if you can make some changes. Can’t really give specific advice unless you ask for it but having a few more clear photos will help.... "

I’m useless with photos lol, I try but I can never get a good pic, plus don’t want put my face on public for work reasons, I never know what kind of pose to pull or anything hahah

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Something personal and individual to the profile would work for me (back in my single days).

Similar now really, from couples and girls, just to make that clear

TB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing.

Yeah they are read, then deleted soon after

Okay, maybe look at your profile and see if you can make some changes. Can’t really give specific advice unless you ask for it but having a few more clear photos will help....

I’m useless with photos lol, I try but I can never get a good pic, plus don’t want put my face on public for work reasons, I never know what kind of pose to pull or anything hahah"

You don’t need face pics on display.

Have a scroll through some forum threads, you can get some good ideas of what people like to see.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you know if any of your messages are read?

The reason I’m asking is if they’re are just being deleted it could be that there’s something about your profile / username / photos etc that’s putting people off.

You could compose the best opening message ever but if you’re not getting past the 1st hurdle then it’s all for nothing.

Yeah they are read, then deleted soon after

Okay, maybe look at your profile and see if you can make some changes. Can’t really give specific advice unless you ask for it but having a few more clear photos will help....

I’m useless with photos lol, I try but I can never get a good pic, plus don’t want put my face on public for work reasons, I never know what kind of pose to pull or anything hahah

You don’t need face pics on display.

Have a scroll through some forum threads, you can get some good ideas of what people like to see."

Yeah I will do I’ll take a few at some point soon and put em up, see if it makes a difference

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Having met you, I know what a great fella you are. Maybe do a few more club meets and try and network and make contacts with people that way.

I cannot give you suggestions about your profile as you haven't specifically asked, but do read through what people have suggested here.

Maybe send me an example of what your opening message would be and I can give you some feedback.

Have a read through what people have said about you in your verifications and mention that in your message to ladies. Give them an idea about what you are like. Why they should chose to reply to you.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Having met you, I know what a great fella you are. Maybe do a few more club meets and try and network and make contacts with people that way.

I cannot give you suggestions about your profile as you haven't specifically asked, but do read through what people have suggested here.

Maybe send me an example of what your opening message would be and I can give you some feedback.

Have a read through what people have said about you in your verifications and mention that in your message to ladies. Give them an idea about what you are like. Why they should chose to reply to you.

"

I just don’t like bugging myself up in that regard, I don’t want to come across as cocky or anything like that

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By *uppeteerMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??"

Mate, try meeting a woman at a bar like normal people do. You will NEVER figure out this site. Women who never get a second glance outside get 100 messages a day here to release their frustration.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

Mate, try meeting a woman at a bar like normal people do. You will NEVER figure out this site. Women who never get a second glance outside get 100 messages a day here to release their frustration."

Excuse me? Normal? Are you on this site too?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Copy and paste doesn't bother us (just remember to change the name guys), one liners don't bother us, no face picture doesn't bother us. Just say hello, ask us to look at your profile and see if we're interested and to get back to you if we are, and we will. So much is expected of single men on here, they can't be expected to craft an individual, humorous and articulate message tailored for individual profiles. If a guy approached me in a bar I wouldn't expect him to start with a lengthy monologue

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By *uppeteerMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

Mate, try meeting a woman at a bar like normal people do. You will NEVER figure out this site. Women who never get a second glance outside get 100 messages a day here to release their frustration.

Excuse me? Normal? Are you on this site too? "

I’m on here because I’m a satyromaniac and this site is ideal for my fetishes. I’m also on f e t l i f e. For the last 30 years I’ve been pulling women in bars with big success. Trust me...take my advice, im only helping you here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Copy and paste doesn't bother us (just remember to change the name guys), one liners don't bother us, no face picture doesn't bother us. Just say hello, ask us to look at your profile and see if we're interested and to get back to you if we are, and we will. So much is expected of single men on here, they can't be expected to craft an individual, humorous and articulate message tailored for individual profiles. If a guy approached me in a bar I wouldn't expect him to start with a lengthy monologue"

That's a very refreshing opinion to hear. Quite unusual as well, I imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??"

Post an example

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

Mate, try meeting a woman at a bar like normal people do. You will NEVER figure out this site. Women who never get a second glance outside get 100 messages a day here to release their frustration.

Excuse me? Normal? Are you on this site too?

I’m on here because I’m a satyromaniac and this site is ideal for my fetishes. I’m also on f e t l i f e. For the last 30 years I’ve been pulling women in bars with big success. Trust me...take my advice, im only helping you here"

Don’t drink and unfortunately can’t really get out on nights out or anything like that due to a medical problem, I can’t be on my feet too long which doesn’t help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??"

Fancy a fuck worked for me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Copy and paste doesn't bother us (just remember to change the name guys), one liners don't bother us, no face picture doesn't bother us. Just say hello, ask us to look at your profile and see if we're interested and to get back to you if we are, and we will. So much is expected of single men on here, they can't be expected to craft an individual, humorous and articulate message tailored for individual profiles. If a guy approached me in a bar I wouldn't expect him to start with a lengthy monologue

That's a very refreshing opinion to hear. Quite unusual as well, I imagine"

I don't think its as unusual as you think. I understand that people want to feel special to the person that's messaging them but being realistic saves a lot of disappointment.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Hey I’m just struggling at the minute to find the words for an opening message, I try to be polite, keep it short and sweet at the minute but doesn’t seem to help, any ideas on what could be a decent opening message??

Mate, try meeting a woman at a bar like normal people do. You will NEVER figure out this site. Women who never get a second glance outside get 100 messages a day here to release their frustration.

Excuse me? Normal? Are you on this site too?

I’m on here because I’m a satyromaniac and this site is ideal for my fetishes. I’m also on f e t l i f e. For the last 30 years I’ve been pulling women in bars with big success. Trust me...take my advice, im only helping you here

Don’t drink and unfortunately can’t really get out on nights out or anything like that due to a medical problem, I can’t be on my feet too long which doesn’t help"

Atlantis has bar stools !

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Having met you, I know what a great fella you are. Maybe do a few more club meets and try and network and make contacts with people that way.

I cannot give you suggestions about your profile as you haven't specifically asked, but do read through what people have suggested here.

Maybe send me an example of what your opening message would be and I can give you some feedback.

Have a read through what people have said about you in your verifications and mention that in your message to ladies. Give them an idea about what you are like. Why they should chose to reply to you.

I just don’t like bugging myself up in that regard, I don’t want to come across as cocky or anything like that "

Its not bigging yourself up. Ok...well suggest they have look at your verifications in your message.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Having met you, I know what a great fella you are. Maybe do a few more club meets and try and network and make contacts with people that way.

I cannot give you suggestions about your profile as you haven't specifically asked, but do read through what people have suggested here.

Maybe send me an example of what your opening message would be and I can give you some feedback.

Have a read through what people have said about you in your verifications and mention that in your message to ladies. Give them an idea about what you are like. Why they should chose to reply to you.

I just don’t like bugging myself up in that regard, I don’t want to come across as cocky or anything like that

Its not bigging yourself up. Ok...well suggest they have look at your verifications in your message. "

You do need to sell yourself. There's a big difference between knowing what you have to offer and being arrogant.

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By *uppeteerMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that. "

Reading your posts on this thread I have to say that your expectations on “fab” guys are a lot higher than your deletion rate.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that.

Reading your posts on this thread I have to say that your expectations on “fab” guys are a lot higher than your deletion rate."

And that's my problem to deal with. Not that it's a problem for me.

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By *uppeteerMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that.

Reading your posts on this thread I have to say that your expectations on “fab” guys are a lot higher than your deletion rate.

And that's my problem to deal with. Not that it's a problem for me. "

I wouldnt see it as a problem. Its a valued ethic to have high expectations in life, I can only say bravo to you for that.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that.

Reading your posts on this thread I have to say that your expectations on “fab” guys are a lot higher than your deletion rate.

And that's my problem to deal with. Not that it's a problem for me.

I wouldnt see it as a problem. Its a valued ethic to have high expectations in life, I can only say bravo to you for that."

I find the attitude of "You're a woman, you'll do" that many have incredibly unattractive and do what I can to avoid it. I'm not actually ridiculously fussy, I just want to be interested in someone and not just be a hole as a goal.

Does it mean sometimes I don't meet when I can? Sure. But if I'm going to take a risk, however small, with my safety, and spend bloody ages making myself look good, etc, I want to make sure that there's a good fit between us.

On here I describe the kind of thing I like, and it's not rocket science, honestly (and my profile is truly full of things to use). But most people don't do even the bare minimum. I still don't think sex is some small thing. It takes a bit more than "phwoar hot stuff bb"

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By *uppeteerMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"I mostly just want to know why me. I sometimes get the impression (and have even been told) that I'm a woman, I'll do. I don't need a life partner who understands me intimately, but a) I don't just want to "do", and b) in some ways I'm a bit of an acquired taste.

This means my deletion rate is sky high, but I'm actually OK with that.

Reading your posts on this thread I have to say that your expectations on “fab” guys are a lot higher than your deletion rate.

And that's my problem to deal with. Not that it's a problem for me.

I wouldnt see it as a problem. Its a valued ethic to have high expectations in life, I can only say bravo to you for that.

I find the attitude of "You're a woman, you'll do" that many have incredibly unattractive and do what I can to avoid it. I'm not actually ridiculously fussy, I just want to be interested in someone and not just be a hole as a goal.

Does it mean sometimes I don't meet when I can? Sure. But if I'm going to take a risk, however small, with my safety, and spend bloody ages making myself look good, etc, I want to make sure that there's a good fit between us.

On here I describe the kind of thing I like, and it's not rocket science, honestly (and my profile is truly full of things to use). But most people don't do even the bare minimum. I still don't think sex is some small thing. It takes a bit more than "phwoar hot stuff bb" "

It’s good to be selective and demanding quality and effort. I seriously doubt it takes you ages to look good, just put a smile on your face...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm a perfectionist. But thank you

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire


"Copy and paste doesn't bother us (just remember to change the name guys), one liners don't bother us, no face picture doesn't bother us. Just say hello, ask us to look at your profile and see if we're interested and to get back to you if we are, and we will. So much is expected of single men on here, they can't be expected to craft an individual, humorous and articulate message tailored for individual profiles. If a guy approached me in a bar I wouldn't expect him to start with a lengthy monologue"

Exactly this.

This is also the reason why anyone should have a decent profile and pics up to entice people. Doing one decent profile and then introducing yourself to people so they look at you means less effort with messaging too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Focus on the profile. That is the main port of call to most. If you have one that stands out, what you message won't really matter as much, as long as it isn't vulgar, abusive or just a 'hi' type message . Honestly, It tends to be more about the profile drawing someone In, than the message you send

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Focus on the profile. That is the main port of call to most. If you have one that stands out, what you message won't really matter as much, as long as it isn't vulgar, abusive or just a 'hi' type message . Honestly, It tends to be more about the profile drawing someone In, than the message you send "

I may need some advice in that regard then

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Mr had great success in the past with the opening message "I've read your profile, you seem to have fairly low expectations, I'm sure I can meet them"

He says he came up with that all by himself. Failing that, pick something very specific from their profile a) to prove you've read it b) to break the ice.

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By *apascouse OP   Man
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Mr had great success in the past with the opening message "I've read your profile, you seem to have fairly low expectations, I'm sure I can meet them"

He says he came up with that all by himself. Failing that, pick something very specific from their profile a) to prove you've read it b) to break the ice. "

I try that and sometimes I get a response tbh, maybe it is my profile or my pics that put others off

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

I would worry too much. As you have a 1 in 300 chance of not being deleated un-read. Try something witty as subject line, will reduce those odds by about 25%.

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