FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosted

By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

Maybe they don't quite know how to let people down, and they don't want to hurt feelings?

I know it's better to perhaps say no im not interested, but you never know how it's going to be taken.

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

I’m always friendly and never pushy, just trying to get to know people.

Biggest bug bear is when they go on about how much they like your cock and then blank you about meeting, I dunno it’s just a bit disheartening.

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

"I’m always friendly and never pushy, just trying to get to know people.

Biggest bug bear is when they go on about how much they like your cock and then blank you about meeting, I dunno it’s just a bit disheartening."

If this is happening with more than one person that you are talking to, I'd suggest looking over what you are saying.

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By *raditionalManMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Always going to get the pretentious folk who have a sense of entitlement on here mate.

Always remember as a single man you can be choosy to!

I have a couples profile with my swinging buddy and yeah we get mithered like most but a little no thanks never goes a miss.

Remember it’s a swinging site so not all are looking for singles, I prefer clubs myself although I’ve never been as a single guy.

Get to a social somewhere meet people I know clubs are for everyone but it sure helps newton the genuine face to face rather than the keyboard cowards on here!

Good luck mate!

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

Tbh most of the time I don’t even get past initial pleasantries. Frustrating lol

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By *raditionalManMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Tbh most of the time I don’t even get past initial pleasantries. Frustrating lol"

Sod them ha

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By *oreFunForAllCouple
over a year ago

Dumstable

"Tbh most of the time I don’t even get past initial pleasantries. Frustrating lol"

With this on your profile, I am surprised you get any response:

"I don’t have much free time, but looking for some stress relief now and then.."

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

Ok I’ll look at that, thanks for the advice. People ghosting me though have already looked at my profile so can’t be the only issue.

Fuck knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens to us all. Unfortunately just the nature of Fab as there’s so many people on here. Perseverance and a thick skin are needed at times. Pays off eventually

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

Does seem to be feast or famine on here. One day you’ll get no response and no views, next day loads of views and messages. Yet barely any meets. Fab is very fickle. May try a social.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

To be frank OP, are you sure they have ghosted you? Could it be that they have got their rocks off already and then moved on?

My suspicion was raised when you said a lot of them have contacted you first.

You might want to think a little bit more about who they might be, not who they claim they are.

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

They are mostly couples looking for guys, seem to like the photos and dm me.

Get past the how are you’s, get asked about what I’m into etc, I respond and then the message stays unread. Seems to me like they bulk message and then can’t be arsed to make the effort.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"They are mostly couples looking for guys, seem to like the photos and dm me.

Get past the how are you’s, get asked about what I’m into etc, I respond and then the message stays unread. Seems to me like they bulk message and then can’t be arsed to make the effort."

It seems to me by the way you are writing that this has happened to you many times? If that's the case then you are the common factor, so maybe consider how you interact with people on this site.

Have you had this problem with single male profiles?

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

I don’t tend to contact single guys, had a few tv’s who were a lot more polite and filthy lol.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

So you get contacted first by lots of MF couples that then stop speaking to you without reading your messages?

Sorry, but I suspect they were never real couples in the first place. I also note that you have had this exact problem in the past with single women.

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/747384

So once again the common factor is you.

Don't get me wrong, There are plenty of assholes on here, and they do have a massive negative effect on all of us. However if you keep falling for the same thing, then you should really be looking at yourself, and not blaming others.

Fools me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

Ok I’ll just be a misogynistic Twat then as being polite gets me nowhere, since I’m the common factor lol

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Sorry to have caused you offence, but if you are having lots of couples and single women contact you, and then blank you when you reply the only common factor is you.

Being strongly prejudiced against women is unlikely to be any deterrent unless you plaster it all over your profile, which will no doubt not end the way you would want, so I don't suggest that lol.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs"

Mate, don't moan. I shaved my legs and the guy messaged to say he was on his way then he deleted his account and his WhatsApp

This was the second time he'd ghosted me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs"

You have women/couples contacting you first?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Ghosting is when you arrange to meet and they go silent on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m always friendly and never pushy, just trying to get to know people.

Biggest bug bear is when they go on about how much they like your cock and then blank you about meeting, I dunno it’s just a bit disheartening."

Sounds like they're maybe just getting their thrills from looking at your pics and the dirty talk. Once they've got that, they're not interested any more.

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

You have women/couples contacting you first?

Yes.. why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chill out and don’t take it personally mate. At the moment I have 127 messages unread. I’m not “ghosting” or ignoring those people. It’s just too overwhelming to reply to everyone and every time I think “I’ll reply later” more messages arrive.

So I imagine that’s the case for a lot of other people too. In you chill then they’ll respond when they are ready.

PS nice cock

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By *allguywelsh OP Man
over a year ago

barry

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

Mate, don't moan. I shaved my legs and the guy messaged to say he was on his way then he deleted his account and his WhatsApp

This was the second time he'd ghosted me!

See with me if I’ve agreed to meet someone I turn up, the other person has made the effort too. It’s just rude not too.

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By *iway2016Man
over a year ago

The CF post code

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

You have women/couples contacting you first?

Yes.. why?"

That is a rare occurrence. Women and couples generally receive more messages than they can handle and often have to delete without reply. Yet it seems it happens a lot to you?

You mention they say they like your cock?

Sounds to me like you've met the fake brigade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs"

Maybe your just boring AF and they fall asleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

You have women/couples contacting you first?

Yes.. why?

That is a rare occurrence. Women and couples generally receive more messages than they can handle and often have to delete without reply. Yet it seems it happens a lot to you?

You mention they say they like your cock?

Sounds to me like you've met the fake brigade. "

^^ This

I've been on this site since it began and have 10s of male friends. None of them have women or couples contact them first more than once or twice in years on here.

If you are being regularly contacted first, complimented on your cock, and led to believe they are going to meet you my thought would be they are men, not time wasting women or couples.

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

I usually try to let people have a 'thanks but no thanks' after chatting for a while, but this is less likely after exchanging a couple of messages. And even less likely still if that person has demonstrated that they are quite negative and morning about their experiences on here (as then a 'thanks but no thanks' sometimes prompts a nasty response).

As others have said, if you're the common denominator it's time to figure out what you could be doing differently.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

This isn't ghosting, it's just someone you've exchanged one or two messages with losing interest. Yes it would be good of them to say so, but no big deal really, better sooner than later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs"

I'd imagine, from your description.. it may be a case of them being the time wasters and your responses may be scaring them off from pursuing the wind up?

Hard to say without reading the exact conversation. Even then it can be hard working out who is on the other end of the line.. and why they behave the way they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re profile is quite bland, four pictures of your naughty stick (one of which seems to be in a disabled toilet, the other in a family bathroom) and your bio says nothing about you at all apart from “I don’t have much free time” (instant red flag for us, is it because there’s a partner/family who don’t know you’re on here?) and that you’re looking for couples or single women.

If your responses are aimed at just getting a filthy response (like you’ve referenced with the TV/TS statement, they were a lot more “filthy”)

Then we’d be put off as well.

Yes it’s a website for play, but we want to know the people as people first.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Sounds like they are probably guys faking being couples/single females.

Got to be honest though, you have come across as abit whiny,its not an attractive trait. Try being abit more positive, good energy attracts people as much as looks!

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Maybe you said something they didn't like or just decided the chat wasn't going anywhere.I have done this if i don't feel i am gelling with someone and they don't take the hint

Don't let it drive you mad ,we will never know why people do what they do.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've been on here over a year and have probably sent less than ten messages unsolicited to guys (excluding friends and forum chat). It's a potential red flag in itself, I get enough messages that I couldn't handle it.

But people disengage. It happens, nature of this place. (one, because it can be more ephemeral, two, because the inbox can be overwhelming, three, because you never know when thanks but no thanks will be met with abuse/ threats, so it's not worth it)

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

Adults acting like kids......don’t let it bother you. Oppose it and be considered as one of the kiddies bunch!! Stay strong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not ghosting ... but it is rude instead of saying no thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are people so impolite on here? Had a few conversations where you get asked a question, and then when you answer it they don’t even bother to read the message and totally ignore you.

I appreciate I’m a single male and there are a plethora of us, but half these people have contacted me first. Is it too much to say you aren’t interested? Manners ffs

Maybe your just boring AF and they fall asleep "

Hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not ghosting ... but it is rude instead of saying no thanks! "

What is rude is expecting a reply from strangers. None of us are obligated to mail anyone back. No matter how much rejection hurts them

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Why do people get so wound up if a stranger decides they don't want to have sex with them?

Why is it it's the entitled ones who moan about "rude" people ignoring them? You just know if you politely ended the communication you'd go from sex on legs to fat slag in a nanosecond.

I think the sooner people realised they aren't owed anything from strangers, the happier they'll be: I don't even expect anything from those I love, let alone on here!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Why do people get so wound up if a stranger decides they don't want to have sex with them?

Why is it it's the entitled ones who moan about "rude" people ignoring them? You just know if you politely ended the communication you'd go from sex on legs to fat slag in a nanosecond.

I think the sooner people realised they aren't owed anything from strangers, the happier they'll be: I don't even expect anything from those I love, let alone on here!"

Bingo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is also a chance if like me they’re a site freeloader that your reply is below the horizon of their inbox if it’s filling faster than they can keep up and so they don’t know you replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get ghosted all the time and take no offence to it at all. I just figure people have lives to be getting on with. If someone wishes to talk to us, fine. If not also fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not ghosting ... but it is rude instead of saying no thanks!

What is rude is expecting a reply from strangers. None of us are obligated to mail anyone back. No matter how much rejection hurts them"

It said they were already exchanging messages, in that situation I always say a polite no thanks as it's better manners than just leaving. If it's first messages then reply is necessary ... It might be just me but good manners are important to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not ghosting ... but it is rude instead of saying no thanks!

What is rude is expecting a reply from strangers. None of us are obligated to mail anyone back. No matter how much rejection hurts them

*then NO reply is necessary (thought I'd checked it ooops)

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