FabSwingers.com forum: Remove self from a persons hotlist?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, is there a way to remove oneself from another persons hotlist?

Reason: there are a few people that respond to EVERY status I write. It’s annoying and it feels like I have no privacy - especially when I’m travelling a lot. I don’t want people back in Leeds to still be able to see what I’m writing just b/c I’m on their hotlist.

Is there a way to stop this without having to block them? If not I think it would be a good feature to add.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, is there a way to remove oneself from another persons hotlist?

Is there a way to stop this without having to block them? If not I think it would be a good feature to add."

why not just block them?

it could also be that they see your status updates on the local feed if they're local to you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

No there isn't. If you're not interested in meeting them and it annoys you just block them. No drama to be had then

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

So you put something up publically but complain you have no privacy? Hmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pass the popcorn.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Change your postcode location to where you are visiting and when you update only people in that new area will see your updates . If you think people have you in their hotlist then just block them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates"

It’s easy to tell. For example - If i’m in London, wth all of my info changed - and I put that i’m looking to meet. Then 5 people from Leeds reply. It’s easy to infer that I’m on their list. Not rocket science breh.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates

Little bit arrogant to be fair.

It doesn't update straight away. I often have people on my local updates who are in another part of the country, but usually live near me.

Get over it, youbare putting public status, info up. Be flattered people actually want to meet you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So you put something up publically but complain you have no privacy? Hmmmmmm

It’s not the public aspect I care about. It’s the fact that the feature can be used as a tracker to track what I do without my permission. My life isn’t the Truman show

To people suggesting blocking them - I have, but there are certain people that I do genuinely like, so I wouldn’t want to block them - I just don’t want them to see absolutely everything I write, or every meet I post when I’m away.

Perhaps fab could a “current location only” filter, or something similar ?

Surely I’m not the only person that wants that feature?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates

Little bit arrogant to be fair.

It doesn't update straight away. I often have people on my local updates who are in another part of the country, but usually live near me.

Get over it, youbare putting public status, info up. Be flattered people actually want to meet you."

Arrogant? Not at all.

I’m surprised so many people seem offended at a simple suggestion. I really value freedom to do what I want without being tracked.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I don’t get it? You put information up publically but complain people can see it. They’d see it anyway if they were stalking you that much they’d just look for you.

V x

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

That's the whole point of hotlisting someone- so you can view their profile and what they're doing then contact them accordingly.

Maybe ask them to stop contacting you when you're not in the area ? Failing that get a second profile for when you're away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block is your friend

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates

Little bit arrogant to be fair.

It doesn't update straight away. I often have people on my local updates who are in another part of the country, but usually live near me.

Get over it, youbare putting public status, info up. Be flattered people actually want to meet you.

Arrogant? Not at all.

I’m surprised so many people seem offended at a simple suggestion. I really value freedom to do what I want without being tracked."

I dint think they are offended. Bemused perhaps. There are tools available to you to stop people invading your public privacy. Why don't you utilise them?

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Hello OP.

I'm afraid there is no way to remove yourself from someone's hotlist. The hotlist is effectively a bookmark feature and as users are not informed who's hotlist they are on it would be pointless for almost all of us. Even if you could remove yourself I don't think it would be long before they added you again, so the feature would be even more pointless.

Whilst I understand that you don't want to feel like you are being tracked you have to be aware that you are responsible for what is available within your profile. Therefore your choice is simple, don't post things you don't want others to see, or block them so you don't allow them to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer is not to post on your status as it's public

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello OP.

Thanks for the sensible reply. I’ve just re-read my initial message and realised that I wasn’t clear. I travel a lot - it’s not uncommon for me to be in 4 cities a week. And that’s where the issues arise, because I’m getting people messaging me that aren’t even in my current area. And they’ll do it repeatedly. I don’t want to block these people because I like them. But I don’t want them to see what I write when I’m away.

Like I say - the things I write are for the public. But for the LOCAL public. I don’t view privacy in extremes - e.g. the attitude that you should keep everything to yourself, otherwise the whole world is entitled to know your whole life. But I would like privacy when I’m away.

It seems like the feature isn’t yet available. But maybe one day it will be. Cheers for the responses 3

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I her messages from people in America or Scotland all the time. I just ignore them or say I'm no where near them. It's no hardship. I think you're making this intu a bigger issue than it is to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use the hot list like a shopping basket not as a way of stalking people lol we will trawl through the never ending lists of crap profiles, usernames and off putting status updates but the ones we actually like we will put in the hot list for future reference as it's the easiest way of finding people again we would like to meet. We never considered single men would consider this stalking or invasion of privacy but will now review how we use it. It's amazing how many single men claim they don't get messages or meets then claim invasion of privacy when they do lol thanks for making this site even more complicated than it already is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if your worried about being caught by your partner maybe don't put so much information out there lol

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

A rare case of a single guy complaining he gets too many messages! Good on you, OP.

For what it's worth, I do get your point (sort of). Not the location thing so much, but I do often get a LOT of messages from the same people - equally blocking them feels overly harsh, but also not great to have the same conversation over and over again...!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And if your worried about being caught by your partner maybe don't put so much information out there lol"

Huh? You made a lot of assumptions in both of your replies. I never said I have a problem getting meets or messages, I’m more than fine in that regard. And it’s nothing to do with a partner finding out either.

I wanted to stop getting creating tension/awkward messages between myself and people who think I’m nearby when I’m not. That’s it.

Let’s just let this thread die now yeah? All I wanted to know if there was a feature to stop it. Which there isn’t.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A rare case of a single guy complaining he gets too many messages! Good on you, OP.

Yes exactly, you hit the nail on the head. And when you travel a lot it’s like that multiplied by 10. I’m not moaning about people getting in touch (well I am a bit), it’s just that it seems a sensible feature to be able to restrict your posts to certain groups. Most other platforms have that capability

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if your worried about being caught by your partner maybe don't put so much information out there lol

I wanted to stop getting creating tension/awkward messages between myself and people who think I’m nearby when I’m not. That’s it.

Let’s just let this thread die now yeah? All I wanted to know if there was a feature to stop it. Which there isn’t.

Maybe there should be a feature to remove people from hot lists. Like I said I have never given it a second thought but if that's how you you feel I imagine there others that feel the same. You could message support and ask for the function

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want privacy, having a profile on a public forum won’t help that.

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By *luboyoMan
over a year ago

North West / Birmingham

"So you put something up publically but complain you have no privacy? Hmmmmmm

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By *raditionalManMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Perhaps Fabs not for you pal, it seems your post got what you wanted tho? People talking about you and exposure to the whole of the world because you don’t like Lisa from Leeds knowing what you doing with Karl in Kent?

It’s a public swingers website? Perhaps Facebook might be more for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is not to post on your status as it's public "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if your worried about being caught by your partner maybe don't put so much information out there lol

I wanted to stop getting creating tension/awkward messages between myself and people who think I’m nearby when I’m not. That’s it.

Let’s just let this thread die now yeah? All I wanted to know if there was a feature to stop it. Which there isn’t.

It is a little Orwellian telling people who you can and can't hotlist?

An option to not appear on hotlists, similar to the not allow pics to be fabbed may work.

You can't pic and choose who fabs you, you can't pick and choose who hotlists you. In any event, people can bookmark your profile and stalk without needing to hotlist you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you put something up publically but complain you have no privacy? Hmmmmmm

It’s not the public aspect I care about. It’s the fact that the feature can be used as a tracker to track what I do without my permission. My life isn’t the Truman show

Perhaps fab could a “current location only” filter, or something similar ?

Surely I’m not the only person that wants that feature?"

Only guy probably yes

Suck it up big boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you know if your on there hot list. Your status shows in the updates

Simply block If it's annoying you. That's not rocket science either. There's no other way to remove yourself from someone's hotlist, because you have no control over another person's profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m confused, I didn’t know you could tell you were on someone’s hot list- unless they actually tell you? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, is there a way to remove oneself from another persons hotlist?

Is there a way to stop this without having to block them? If not I think it would be a good feature to add."

Also, why would you want to have control over how someone uses their profile? I suppose you could message and ask them to remove you from it (if in fact you are even on it). I'm sure with that type of message, you'll be unlikely to hear from them again. Job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you put something up publically but complain you have no privacy? Hmmmmmm

It’s not the public aspect I care about. It’s the fact that the feature can be used as a tracker to track what I do without my permission. My life isn’t the Truman show

Perhaps fab could a “current location only” filter, or something similar ?

Surely I’m not the only person that wants that feature?

Only guy probably yes

Suck it up big boy "

Oops sorry pal I said this before i seen you were bi

Genuinely No pun intended

But what more would you want from a free nsa/swing website bells on it

Perhaps a little pun intended

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Don’t put pustd up for meets then if that’s what your doing or a status about where you are. Perhaps you could hide your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, is there a way to remove oneself from another persons hotlist?

Is there a way to stop this without having to block them? If not I think it would be a good feature to add.

I’d like to have a feature to control profiles- so I can demand I go on hotlists, haha. But I’m a bit worried about my fragile ego, on days when they refuse or remove me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if your worried about being caught by your partner maybe don't put so much information out there lol

I wanted to stop getting creating tension/awkward messages between myself and people who think I’m nearby when I’m not. That’s it.

Let’s just let this thread die now yeah? All I wanted to know if there was a feature to stop it. Which there isn’t.

Not making assumptions just read your profile, and I’m not in your area and your not in our hotlist, your profile is public, I think therein lies your problem

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