FabSwingers.com forum: Another one for the partners of solo players

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Perhaps more specifically for the husbands of 'Hot Wives' (I hate that term) but anyone who watches their partner play without playing themselves or anyone whose partner plays solo.

I'd really like to know how this affects your relationship, both sexually and otherwise. My partner has no interest in playing with anyone else and nor do I want him to, but it isn't a cuckold situation either. He enjoys me exploring my sexuality and indulging me, without any element of humiliation for him.

I guess my only concern about continuing down this road is if resentment were to ever build up on my partner's side, or a feeling of being cucked - neither of which I want.

So does the novelty wear off after a while? We're not the type of couple where the husband kind of pimps out the wife and there's no coming home with 'cream pies' etc either - that's not how we roll. Essentially, how it works is: if I like someone and my partner agrees that they don't look like a dick or any risk to me, then I go off and play with them and tell him about it afterwards. We haven't yet engaged in MMF together but hope to soon. Does that change things? Once they've actually seen it with their own eyes?

For the ladies who don't cuck/humiliate their husbands or engage in surprise cream pies etc, how is it being watched by your partner or continuing with regular solo play? Have you managed to continue this lifestyle on the same terms without any negative impact on your relationship, or was it a slippery slope to soft/full swap?

Thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that as long as you continue to communicate honestly it can be exactly what you want it to be. If either of you feel like it's all going too fast, too far or in a direction you don't wish it to take you can call a halt. It's only a slippery slope if you let it be.

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By *exymidscouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We’ve looked into this and although we don’t limit ourselves to not playing with other couples so we all play together i (male) do get turned on watching mrs with other guys and also the thought of her playing alone, I’ve always said if someone tried to humiliate me as in that definition of cuckolding then it wouldn’t end well, reading up on it online it’s a stag and vixen lifestyle that we lead and Mrs now has the anklet to show that off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We’ve looked into this and although we don’t limit ourselves to not playing with other couples so we all play together i (male) do get turned on watching mrs with other guys and also the thought of her playing alone, I’ve always said if someone tried to humiliate me as in that definition of cuckolding then it wouldn’t end well, reading up on it online it’s a stag and vixen lifestyle that we lead and Mrs now has the anklet to show that off

We would consider ourselves a Stag and Vixen couple, but some people confuse that with cuckolding. My partner is alpha and not the type to put up with any nonsense. I just wonder how someone of that mentality can continue to enjoy purely watching me or joining n with STRAIGHT MMF. Is it a bit like cracking open a tub of Roses at Christmas and watching your partner eat all the best ones? Or even watching your partner give the best ones to someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent post from the OP

I came to the scene 12 or so years ago with my first wife, at her suggestion, both of us being bisexual made for a very enjoyable experience - but we equally respected each other space and allowed each other to experiment with playing solo, but for want of a better term, we managed how we did so - and although virtually all solo sessions where within a home environment, we also would on occasions, meet

separately

Playing solo at home was also part of our own erotic play because we each got a buzz out of watching each other having sex

Good post OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I think a lot of it will be determined by how strong of a relationship you have. At the end of the day, the root of jealousy (or insecurity) is fear. If partners love each other and put each other first and have a strong trusting open relationship, and they aren't concerned that the other is going to take off with someone new, there are all sorts of delicious treats to be discovered!

We started off playing as couples with couples. Then we added the fabulous element of another (straight) guy for an MFM. Then I went on holiday to see family and we decided my husband could meet a couple while I was away. His first MFM without me was with a couple we swing with already. At first I didn't really know how I felt about it but what's good for the vixen is good for the stag right?

And in the end, I was (surprisingly to me) turned on by it! Now he has a single guy profile, we have my vixen one, and we have a couples one.

It's all a learning curve and it's crucial to go at the pace of the partner moving the slowest. If your partner has no interest in playing right now, or ever, just enjoy what you enjoy as long as it doesn't mess up your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks, appreciate that. I really don't want what's good enough for the Vixen to be good enough for the stag! I absolutely could not stand that at all. Whilst I can fully seperate my playing with others from my relationship with him, I couldn't rationalise the reverse and compartmentalise accordingly. Which I guess is selfish but he doesn't want it either.

Was hoping to hear from a couple 10 years in and still no change or aggro!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was hoping to hear from a couple 10 years in and still no change or aggro!"

One of the many reasons we avoid the “hot wife” “Vixen” etc etc scene is because of statements like “ I couldn’t rationalise the reverse” absolutely what’s good for one, should be good for the other, isn’t that more healthy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Logic tells me yes, but in reality it's all about the comfort levels and needs/wants of the individuals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Logic tells me yes, but in reality it's all about the comfort levels and needs/wants of the individuals."

We’d say it’s about the needs and wants of everybody involved not induviduals, isn’t that swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We’d say it’s about the needs and wants of everybody involved not induviduals, isn’t that swinging? "

Yes and no. No individual should "take one for the team" in any capacity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’d say it’s about the needs and wants of everybody involved not induviduals, isn’t that swinging?

Yes and no. No individual should "take one for the team" in any capacity. "

I think you’ve missed the point or got somewhat confused and gone off on a tangent, but succinctly in answer to you, it’s about the needs and wants of everyone involved thus no one would take one for the team, conversely if someone believes it’s all about there own pleasure, then they are missing the point of swinging, it’s about everyone involved having pleasure, now we are sure there are plenty of men out there who will fuck anything and derive some pleasure from it, but picking people who have made an informed decision to meet someone based on looks, personality, interaction and mutual enjoyment brings around a whole new level of fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We all derive pleasure on different ways though. Hence the sub/dom dynamic for some people. My partner gets pleasure from giving/facilitating me having pleasure. I am more sexually selfish and whilst of course we share mutual pleasure, I'm just naturally more greedy than he is.

I don't think it's as simple as saying "Fair's fair" or similar, but equally I have concerns that my partner's generosity or current stance may change in the future, hence this post.

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

"We all derive pleasure on different ways though. Hence the sub/dom dynamic for some people. My partner gets pleasure from giving/facilitating me having pleasure. I am more sexually selfish and whilst of course we share mutual pleasure, I'm just naturally more greedy than he is.

I don't think it's as simple as saying "Fair's fair" or similar, but equally I have concerns that my partner's generosity or current stance may change in the future, hence this post."
sounds more like you are happy with the status quo but if and when your husband shows an interest in play himself then it's a whole different ball game and that's really what you are worried about. Pretty selfish if you ask us.

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