FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette in a club

By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

I have my own profile on here but hubby and I have been to a swinging club a few times together. We are looking for either a single guy (where hubby just watches) or to get on with a couple and swap.

What are the ‘rules’? Should we approach a single guy? I give them eye contact and I may get a smile but that’s it. Also, it seems really difficult to chat to couples.

We are going to try the hot tub next time we go, see if we get chatting to people that way x

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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago

warwickshire

We have also found this difficult and unsure of etiquette with couples as we go to a club and chat to couples and everyone's friendly but you don't know if they are just being polite or do want more

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By *omeo7xxxMan
over a year ago

London

"I have my own profile on here but hubby and I have been to a swinging club a few times together. We are looking for either a single guy (where hubby just watches) or to get on with a couple and swap.

What are the ‘rules’? Should we approach a single guy? I give them eye contact and I may get a smile but that’s it. Also, it seems really difficult to chat to couples.

We are going to try the hot tub next time we go, see if we get chatting to people that way x"

If it is a single guy you are looking for go and speak to him, from experience it can be quite daunting for us to speak to couples let alone trying to read if they fancy a play or not.

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

Ok, thanks for the advice. It’s always that fear of rejection - I’ll have a glass of wine first before approaching them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

let me know when your going and i'll join you , jaydees is cool

or i'll book a hotel near you

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

That’s where we go! Lol

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By *armupartistMan
over a year ago

York

Like everything in life there are two sides to this. I am a member at Quest in Leeds and although I have only been a few times, I have (despite me age) felt very welcomed. Of course being an older, 'single' male isn't easy but this lifestyle only works through honesty and trust and understanding that "no thank you" isn't and insult or put down but an expression of everybody's absolute right to decide who they play with and what they do. I have met some lovely people, some have invited me to play and others' not but just show respect, don't be too forward or pushy and be yourself. Hope you find what you are looking for. Cheers Alan

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By *armupartistMan
over a year ago

York

I forgot to say at Quest the hot tub has occasionally led on to some very sexy fun BUT not in the hot tub (see house rules)!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think alot of the time is that people feel that is someone is interested they would make the first move.

Also it can be difficult as no one wants to be rejected but we have learnt that is part of swinging.

We now try and initiate first contact at a club if we can. Even if it's just a hi how are you and see how they react.

Sometimes it works sometimes we just have a quick batter and go in our way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think alot of the time is that people feel that is someone is interested they would make the first move.

Also it can be difficult as no one wants to be rejected but we have learnt that is part of swinging.

We now try and initiate first contact at a club if we can. Even if it's just a hi how are you and see how they react.

Sometimes it works sometimes we just have a quick batter and go in our way.

You batter them if things don't work out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think alot of the time is that people feel that is someone is interested they would make the first move.

Also it can be difficult as no one wants to be rejected but we have learnt that is part of swinging.

We now try and initiate first contact at a club if we can. Even if it's just a hi how are you and see how they react.

Sometimes it works sometimes we just have a quick batter and go in our way.

You batter them if things don't work out?

Natter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest having a brief chat with anyone you fancy... male or couples.....

Then always end the conversation with....

It was very nice to meet you , we are going to play later... if you’re up for it , we would love you to join us....

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

"Like everything in life there are two sides to this. I am a member at Quest in Leeds and although I have only been a few times, I have (despite me age) felt very welcomed. Of course being an older, 'single' male isn't easy but this lifestyle only works through honesty and trust and understanding that "no thank you" isn't and insult or put down but an expression of everybody's absolute right to decide who they play with and what they do. I have met some lovely people, some have invited me to play and others' not but just show respect, don't be too forward or pushy and be yourself. Hope you find what you are looking for. Cheers Alan"

Thanks for the advice Alan

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

"I think alot of the time is that people feel that is someone is interested they would make the first move.

Also it can be difficult as no one wants to be rejected but we have learnt that is part of swinging.

We now try and initiate first contact at a club if we can. Even if it's just a hi how are you and see how they react.

Sometimes it works sometimes we just have a quick batter and go in our way.

We will definitely try & chat to people

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

"I would suggest having a brief chat with anyone you fancy... male or couples.....

Then always end the conversation with....

It was very nice to meet you , we are going to play later... if you’re up for it , we would love you to join us....

Thank you - good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We usually make eye contact and it’s always at the bar. I also point out to hubby the males I like etc so if we are approached we are happy to chat. Some men are shy though and don’t get the signals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are the ‘rules’? Should we approach a single guy? I give them eye contact and I may get a smile but that’s it. Also, it seems really difficult to chat to couples.

We are going to try the hot tub next time we go, see if we get chatting to people that way x

If it is a single guy you are looking for go and speak to him, from experience it can be quite daunting for us to speak to couples let alone trying to read if they fancy a play or not. "

I agree, approach people if you are a couple. Talk to them as humans not just fuck goals and enjoy!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

1) talk to people....

2) don't come across as high and mighty because you are a couple and they are a single

3) talk to people....

4) don't be a tit/arse

5) did i mention talk to people......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say hello start a conversation with someone you like and ask if they are interested simple as that. You will then get a polite yes or no 99% of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd been to a few clubs in the past but always just sat there talking to ourselves and lwft feeling a little dissapointed.

However last weekend we went to Quest and made the conscious decision to actually go up to people, make the first move and talk. We had the best night ever. Made so new friends and left with VERY big smiles on our faces.

So our advice is, take a deep breath, approach those you like the look of and just introduce yourself. Most people are really friendly.

Good luck xx

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"1) talk to people....

2) don't come across as high and mighty because you are a couple and they are a single

3) talk to people....

4) don't be a tit/arse

5) did i mention talk to people......

In a nutshell.....this.

What's the worst that could happen? They say no thanks. What have you lost? Nothing. Unlike online you'll always get a reply one way or the other.

That goes for singles AND couples.

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By *reamytitwankCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

You get what you put in. Make eye contact and chat to people.

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By *usty OP Couple
over a year ago

peterborough

Thanks guys & girls for all the advice. I will definitely make more of an effort next time we go x

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I think that the key to doing well in clubs is to be proactive. If everyone just waits for someone else to make the first move, nothing will ever happen.

However, when you approach someone, do it with the view of having a chat rather than just getting a Shag. We chat with people to see if we get on and there's never any expectation that we're going to do any more.

Even if there's nobody in the club that you fancy, it's still worth chatting to people... just for fun.

Cal

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