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Patient single men

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By *bwmusicgeeks OP   Couple
over a year ago

BW

Myself and H have been in and out of swinging for about 2 years now, only one full swap and about 3 good club nights (yep we are very on or off lol).

We use swinging a lot in our dirty talk and fantasies and H has said he’s thought about sharing me with another man (MMF) but doesn’t know how he would actually feel in real life until he was in the situation. I’ve explained to him that this (while understandable to me) isn’t extremely practical as the gent would probably feel like his time has been wasted.

H said ideally he’d like a patient man who would love to do foreplay, pleasure me and be pleasured by me, and then we see about the sex. That way if H decided no, it’s not the be all and end all, it would have been as an extra type thing??

To the single men out there, how realistic is this really?? Before we upset anyone with unrealistic expectations or come across as greedy or even rude? Our relationship is very important to us, hence why we’ve been so inactive over the last two years, we are still very much finding our feet.

Thanks in advance,

E x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think what you are asking for is unheard of on fab. You just need to be very upfront about it to whichever man you choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This all sounds fair, as long as you're open at the start then the single guy can't feel cheated.

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

forest

I've did this in the past. It started off with me just watching. I was naked and sat watched and played with myself. I was then asked to come close. She wanted me off as she rode him. That's as far as I went the first time

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By *hocolateRodMan
over a year ago

London and over UK

Yes - think its possible. But as said, you have to be upfront that full sex may not be on the cards. Perhaps the way to do it, is have a few socials beforehand - an gradually increase the tempo. Best choose someone geographically close to you if that is the case. So they can meet you extended number of times

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's possible. Some guys would be OK with it, some wouldn't. Take any interaction slowly, accept no nonsense or pushing, be very clear at the outset. I'm not soft swing, but I definitely have to work out who wants to push me before I'm ready.

I sometimes see guys who've listed soft swing on their interests. They might be more amenable.

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By *ross-eyed MaryMan
over a year ago

Salisbury


"Myself and H have been in and out of swinging for about 2 years now, only one full swap and about 3 good club nights (yep we are very on or off lol).

We use swinging a lot in our dirty talk and fantasies and H has said he’s thought about sharing me with another man (MMF) but doesn’t know how he would actually feel in real life until he was in the situation. I’ve explained to him that this (while understandable to me) isn’t extremely practical as the gent would probably feel like his time has been wasted.

H said ideally he’d like a patient man who would love to do foreplay, pleasure me and be pleasured by me, and then we see about the sex. That way if H decided no, it’s not the be all and end all, it would have been as an extra type thing??

To the single men out there, how realistic is this really?? Before we upset anyone with unrealistic expectations or come across as greedy or even rude? Our relationship is very important to us, hence why we’ve been so inactive over the last two years, we are still very much finding our feet.

Thanks in advance,

E x"

My advice would be to use a guy who's not single. More likely to be patient, and less likely to be clingy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be fine for you

I'll be up your way for 1 night soon in the travelodge.

I'll just watch you two.maybe touch if the lady wants ...

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We would suggest more club visits, that way you can soft swing with others without anyone feeling their time had been wasted.

If you both feel you want to go further then you are able to at an time

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Just shove that on your profile. I actually got a lot more interest when asking for soft play without sex(i only meet men who meet as a single).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as your completely up front with what your seeking and the single guy is informed exactly what's going on and whats likely to happen and that anything else is unlikely, then I dont see a problem.

I've met couples in the past where they have set similar limits on whats likely to happen and no more, never felt put out by it or disapointed if it didnt progress onto full sex as I knew exactly what I was getting into in the first place.

Its all about informed choice, and I made my decision to still meet them as they were completely upfront with their limits.

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By *entleman Blue EyesMan
over a year ago

Saffron Walden


"Myself and H have been in and out of swinging for about 2 years now, only one full swap and about 3 good club nights (yep we are very on or off lol).

We use swinging a lot in our dirty talk and fantasies and H has said he’s thought about sharing me with another man (MMF) but doesn’t know how he would actually feel in real life until he was in the situation. I’ve explained to him that this (while understandable to me) isn’t extremely practical as the gent would probably feel like his time has been wasted.

H said ideally he’d like a patient man who would love to do foreplay, pleasure me and be pleasured by me, and then we see about the sex. That way if H decided no, it’s not the be all and end all, it would have been as an extra type thing??

To the single men out there, how realistic is this really?? Before we upset anyone with unrealistic expectations or come across as greedy or even rude? Our relationship is very important to us, hence why we’ve been so inactive over the last two years, we are still very much finding our feet.

Thanks in advance,

E x"

I'd be totally fine with this if I knew this was the form from the start. To be honest I'd be reassured you were as apprehensive as me so all good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds like a normal softswing meet so I would think it is fairly easy to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag...."

Really??? So if the woman feels uncomfortable going ahead with it (whether she is part of a couple or single) she still has to shag him just because he booked the room?

Mrs

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag....

Really??? So if the woman feels uncomfortable going ahead with it (whether she is part of a couple or single) she still has to shag him just because he booked the room?

Mrs "

Obviously not,but some men think this.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Myself and H have been in and out of swinging for about 2 years now, only one full swap and about 3 good club nights (yep we are very on or off lol).

We use swinging a lot in our dirty talk and fantasies and H has said he’s thought about sharing me with another man (MMF) but doesn’t know how he would actually feel in real life until he was in the situation. I’ve explained to him that this (while understandable to me) isn’t extremely practical as the gent would probably feel like his time has been wasted.

H said ideally he’d like a patient man who would love to do foreplay, pleasure me and be pleasured by me, and then we see about the sex. That way if H decided no, it’s not the be all and end all, it would have been as an extra type thing??

To the single men out there, how realistic is this really?? Before we upset anyone with unrealistic expectations or come across as greedy or even rude? Our relationship is very important to us, hence why we’ve been so inactive over the last two years, we are still very much finding our feet.

Thanks in advance,

E x"
. The scenario you have described happened to me at Rio Spa about a year ago the lady made it clear to me I was to watch and join in when she was comfortable.As long as you make it clear to the guy what it is you want it shouldn’t be a problem.

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By *omewhatSlightlyDazedMan
over a year ago

Warwick Birmingham & YamYamLand

Just start with a social, you've already let it known what you want. Little steps and openness you'll find what you seek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an older swinger i must say licking a pussy and geting a bj wud be a fab nite

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag...."

What!

No body is entitled to a shag even if they have booked a hotel room!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag...."

If anyone feels entitled to a shag under any circumstances, they can shove off.

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By *man013Man
over a year ago

Derby

I have to say despite not meeting this is what I thought happened anyway as generally speaking for a guy it’s so much easier to finish than a lass and the guy should earn his right to a shag not make the lass feel like she owes a shag for a meet

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By *bwmusicgeeks OP   Couple
over a year ago

BW

Thanks for the tips guys, it would likely be at ours or theirs, not a hotel room and most likely ours as it’s where I’d feel most comfortable.

I understand what someone said, feel entitled isn’t the same as being entitled and yes it’s definitely not the kind of guy we are looking for.

Also as an edit - I realised I said “if H says it’s ok for sex”, my consent would also be needed (obviously) but to be honest whoever we met with it would likely be someone I’d be happy to have sex with anyway, but needed H to be 100% sure he was ok with it as I wouldn’t mess up what we’ve got for the world.

E x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a couple and they hadn’t been swinging before, we had two meets before I got anything out of it, but then I was happy to onlidge as it built the tension.

First meet we had was in a pub, she stroked my leg to see how he would feel, second meet I watched them play, and third meet I gave her oral while she gave him a BJ.

It was worth the wait and a better experience than just fucking IMHO

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By *ndecidedMan
over a year ago

London

Soft swap might be the way to start off. Just watching her being naked in front of another man in front of you

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Your house your rules...

Be wise in selection.... And precise in expectations to selected person

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

It's how we first started. We just explained that it was our first time and arranged for him to watch. We said he could join in with soft play if and when we felt comfortable.

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The couple I remember most a few years ago at Cupids was one where we talked for almost 2 hours as the time seem to pass so quickly, as we talked we got closer and closer and even at the bar we started rubbing against each other. It was amazing. Still remember them all this time later. I am not wanting wham bam thank you mam its not my style

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be very much open to this, i think it would be easier if there was a slightly larger distance between us as then you aren’t going to want to just jump it would need a bit of planning and talking to be totally comfortable with each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly acceptable as you are up front about it. I would certainly accept an invite on these terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag....

Really??? So if the woman feels uncomfortable going ahead with it (whether she is part of a couple or single) she still has to shag him just because he booked the room?

Mrs "

Did you read what I wrote?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you do this please make sure you accommodate.....

If the guy books a hotel room , he might feel entitled to a shag....

What!

No body is entitled to a shag even if they have booked a hotel room! "

Thank you very much... you must have missed the word MIGHT...

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By *bwmusicgeeks OP   Couple
over a year ago

BW

It’s ok I got what you meant that’s what we’re trying to avoid

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