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"If it's NSA then yes, it's just sex....if you are looking for more then it's not so easy to separate " I can do nsa quite happily... The other involved kind of hinted at more see? | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people..." It's possible to be 'fond' of someone in an emotional way without wanting a relationship beyond friendship. I'm find of lots of people, some that I've slept with over the years and some that are purely platonic relationships. I've also slept with people on a purely NSA basis a few times that I've never met/spoken to again and have no intention to. Like all things in life it's down to the individuals concerned. A | |||
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"I usually can, sometimes a hero instinct gets me though when they open up to me. A lot of broken women on Fab. " Oh gosh that’s a really sad statement “a lot of broken women on fab” and I don’t mean that in a bad way, genuinely a sad way. Everyone has their reasons for being on fab, and they are quite diverse I have found. I would say be proud that you may have helped these ladies in some way? I think some kind of “relationship” is inevitable when you meet people on a regular basis, but you always have to remember what this is... its sex and mutual pleasure.. as a person who wears their heart on their sleeve in normal life, I naturally grow fond of people we meet (not all but some) a mutual admiration of what we do for eachother, and being a lady who prefers to make love with two men rather than be fucked by them, can sometimes have blurred lines, but NEVER to blurred to remember why my husband and I got into swinging, for OUR pleasure. And once that ceases to be we take a break and return to married life as normal.. I guess it’s harder for singles who are maybe looking for more but don’t really want to admit it or actually do infact don’t realise that IS what they want themselves until it happens... It’s a difficult one to answer I think, everyone is unique and know one really knows what goes on in their heads... you just have to be honest and grounded as best you can. Fantasy is fantasy... | |||
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"I usually can, sometimes a hero instinct gets me though when they open up to me. A lot of broken women on Fab. Oh gosh that’s a really sad statement “a lot of broken women on fab” and I don’t mean that in a bad way, genuinely a sad way. Everyone has their reasons for being on fab, and they are quite diverse I have found. I would say be proud that you may have helped these ladies in some way? I think some kind of “relationship” is inevitable when you meet people on a regular basis, but you always have to remember what this is... its sex and mutual pleasure.. as a person who wears their heart on their sleeve in normal life, I naturally grow fond of people we meet (not all but some) a mutual admiration of what we do for eachother, and being a lady who prefers to make love with two men rather than be fucked by them, can sometimes have blurred lines, but NEVER to blurred to remember why my husband and I got into swinging, for OUR pleasure. And once that ceases to be we take a break and return to married life as normal.. I guess it’s harder for singles who are maybe looking for more but don’t really want to admit it or actually do infact don’t realise that IS what they want themselves until it happens... It’s a difficult one to answer I think, everyone is unique and know one really knows what goes on in their heads... you just have to be honest and grounded as best you can. Fantasy is fantasy... " It is unfortunately. I have tried but at the end of the day you can only help people who want to be helped. | |||
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"Clubs are sex only, socials are sex discussions and meets, fwb's are a closer connection but they never get to the part where they are in our private life. We have strict boundaries which all agree to in order that these things don't get emotionally messy. male " Yeah in a club I have no problem at all and play with multiple people on the night. It's just so different in private when you get to know somebody a bit. | |||
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"I can easily separate sex from emotional attachment (much to my own surprise). If we see someone regularly it's necessary to like them of course but not in a romantic way." | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people..." I think of you see someone regularly, then it's impossible not to develop feelings for them. But you can chose how those feelings develop. Setting your own personal boundaries from day 1, keeping part of yourself shut off, knowing that no matter how good it is when you're together, it's fleeting time & just enjoy that moment There are a few people I've met here, I can say I care very deeply about, but I'll never be in love with them. | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people... I think of you see someone regularly, then it's impossible not to develop feelings for them. But you can chose how those feelings develop. Setting your own personal boundaries from day 1, keeping part of yourself shut off, knowing that no matter how good it is when you're together, it's fleeting time & just enjoy that moment There are a few people I've met here, I can say I care very deeply about, but I'll never be in love with them. " Cost me a club membership and meets but I know I did tried to do the right thing. | |||
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"I usually can, sometimes a hero instinct gets me though when they open up to me. A lot of broken women on Fab. " me for 1 | |||
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"I think if you see somebody regularly then yes you can develop feelings for them it's only natural but it is more of a case of wanting to ensure they are ok, pick them up when they are down, laugh, cry general friendship feeling not a run off together feeling" I agree x | |||
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"Totally normal to become fond of someone after all you're partaking in a very intimate act, it's natural therefore to feel a connection with that person. But there are various types of affection while distinct in definition there are slight overlaps between the level of "fondness". The relationship/"fondness" you both expect should be made clear from the onset to prevent complications further down the road. " You explain this very well. I have a great dynamic with my “Tiger”....we are not a couple but together we are very intimate, however despite being domme, I allow him to take my dominance and use it on me when he deserves it. But I find it hard to let go submissively as it allows my feelings to show and I don’t want to scare him off as I know he’s a free spirit. We’ve discussed this over a smoke and he’s know I try hard to remain disconnected. It’s like a gravitational pull. Arrrrgh | |||
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"It's when they lie and say they want more than nsa but you realise they don't after a while. That's hard. " It's not just hard it's cruel on their part. | |||
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"I think if you see somebody regularly then yes you can develop feelings for them it's only natural but it is more of a case of wanting to ensure they are ok, pick them up when they are down, laugh, cry general friendship feeling not a run off together feeling" | |||
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"I think if you see somebody regularly then yes you can develop feelings for them, it's only natural but it is more of a case of wanting to ensure they are ok, pick them up when they are down, laugh, cry and a general friendship feeling, not a ‘run off together’ feeling" Well said | |||
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"We're more than happy to be friendly and become real friends with play mates as we already have done. I guess it's easier for couples as we already have an emotional attachment to each other so we don't get attached to play mates." This for us too. Not sure it would be quite so simple as a single. Nita | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people..." This has happened to me before and he still wants to be in my life but I know that I would end up getting hurt. So I started pulling back the last few months, cutting contact back and seeing him less. I am still hearing from him everyday but I can't help but think that's more him wanting to keep the attachment there for sex rather than because he thinks of me as a friend. He is a decent sweet guy but I can't gage his motives so keeping my walls high. It was never supposed to be about feelings but we clicked and spent a long time meeting, became part of eachothers lives outside of fab to. I think it's inevitable when those lines are blurred. | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people..." No not at all. I’m sure Fab men are aware it’s a ‘sex site’ so why would feelings happen? | |||
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"This is great feedback people... I really appreciate it. You're all making me feel a bit better about myself. Ive been feeling like a fool. My trouble is I wear my heart on my sleeve. Im one of those poor sad lucky people that falls in love easily x" You're not a fool at all. Falling in love easily is better than having a heart of stone. | |||
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" Emotions are part of our lives, not something we turn on and off like a phone. Without emotions how do we know we are ever going to connect with another, and if we do who benefits by us acting like we are machines that have no soul no care for others no compassion no connection beyond friction? Yes I can have sex and detach, but if it's someone we care for why would we want to?" ^^^This... We're not replicants are we? | |||
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"I think if you see somebody regularly then yes you can develop feelings for them it's only natural but it is more of a case of wanting to ensure they are ok, pick them up when they are down, laugh, cry general friendship feeling not a run off together feeling" Thats a good way of putting it. X | |||
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"I think if you see somebody regularly then yes you can develop feelings for them it's only natural but it is more of a case of wanting to ensure they are ok, pick them up when they are down, laugh, cry general friendship feeling not a run off together feeling Thats a good way of putting it. X" I couldn't have put it better myself. Ive been fwb and fb with a few lassies recently and we're still friends. The honesty was there. With this one it was like the other way round though. Making out there was more when really she was just after nsa. Who knows? Maybe even she didnt. ( I didnt meet on here btw. At least we're all on the same page!) | |||
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"I can feel affection for someone without needing to become involved in them. If I wasn't fond of the men I'm having sex with I wouldn't want to see them again. " Totally agree xx | |||
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"Clubs are sex only, socials are sex discussions and meets, fwb's are a closer connection but they never get to the part where they are in our private life. We have strict boundaries which all agree to in order that these things don't get emotionally messy. male Yeah in a club I have no problem at all and play with multiple people on the night. It's just so different in private when you get to know somebody a bit. " Met my knight off here.. guess I fell lucky.. great relationship.. play together at clubs.. same room.. Also he's romantic.. cuddles on sofa etc.. but then we play at Chams.. so we can separate the two.. talking is the key.. what doesn't suit with person is respected by both. | |||
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"I have a dom who is engaged to a woman and they adore each other. I do have feelings for him but do not love him, I care about him we couldn't have a dom sub relationship without trust and caring for each other" Well said and one of the reasons I prefer bdsm lifestyle Adam | |||
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"You seem to be confusing emotion to commitment. It is easy to allow ones emotions to fully engage in a sexual experience with a stranger without committing to them in any way." Absolutely! Well said! | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people..." Yes, I compartmentalise very well. Helps that I'm not one of the love at first sight types. NSA is just that and when you start blurring the lines, you are breaking the trust the other partner has put in you. | |||
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" Does anyone else find that after you've met up with someone a few times you start to get fond of them? I dont mean in needy clingy sort of way but you begin to feel genuine affection towards them,especially if they open up and let you in? I've recently had my fingers burned quite badly. Im sure Im not the first and I know I wont be the last! Tell me your thoughts Fab people... I think of you see someone regularly, then it's impossible not to develop feelings for them. But you can chose how those feelings develop. Setting your own personal boundaries from day 1, keeping part of yourself shut off, knowing that no matter how good it is when you're together, it's fleeting time & just enjoy that moment There are a few people I've met here, I can say I care very deeply about, but I'll never be in love with them. " I agree with you. I do care a lot about some of my Fab friends. They’ve supported me through some tough times. I’m not looking for a romantic relationship but I do enjoy the company of my Fab friends and I’m there to support them too when they need it. I’ve had some Fab friends for several years and expect I’ll make new ones and lose a few each year. I know for some Fab is purely nsa and not for making friends but it’s been full of surprises for me and the friends I’ve made. | |||
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"This subject is very close to home for me as my bf is about to start an affair with a lady he has met yes she is married.He knows I am on here purely to fuck women. We have argued a lot as I think what he is about to do is worse than my nsa hook ups as there is going to be an emotional attachment for sure. Your unbiased opinions would be most welcome." I can't be unbiased as I don't know the full story. However based on what you've said here and the way you have phrased it I think he views sexual encounters with people outside of your relationship as ok whatever the gender of the people and you think its only ok if it's the same gender. | |||
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"This subject is very close to home for me as my bf is about to start an affair with a lady he has met yes she is married.He knows I am on here purely to fuck women. We have argued a lot as I think what he is about to do is worse than my nsa hook ups as there is going to be an emotional attachment for sure. Your unbiased opinions would be most welcome." Can you post it as a new thread? Have you agreed to him fucking this woman? Has he agreed to you fucking women? | |||
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