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Struggling to talk or meet with ladies....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged...

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I’d say ditch the disclaimer for a start

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Profile and pics look fine, disclaimer is a waste of time though. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Profile and pics look fine, disclaimer is a waste of time though. Good luck x"

Not to mention, something the site owners would rather you not put on your profile, as it takes up valuable server space.

To be fair, OP, a month and a half is nothing on fab. Most single guys wait around six months, or more, before they get their first meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thankyou very much for your advice....ive tweaked a few things and will see how it goes....i could probably do with introducing myself to a local club and see how this works for me...cheers again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thankyou very much for your advice....ive tweaked a few things and will see how it goes....i could probably do with introducing myself to a local club and see how this works for me...cheers again x"

It looks better but you need to expand the text and put more about you and what you like on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You're correct I realise this....ill have a good think about what to put rather than rush a few sentences more....thanks for the heads up in how to improve my profile x

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum


"I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged..."

My advice would be to logout and go down the pub, you probably stand a better chance there

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

You have one of the best clubs on your doorstep. The townhouse on the wirral. Go to the club events page to follow the link to their website. Loads of info on there. Especially the newbie night.

Lots of other great clubs in the NW. We are v v lucky.

Good luck.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged...

My advice would be to logout and go down the pub, you probably stand a better chance there "

Exactly what I'm doing tonight lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short. It's tough on fab. Your one of 1000s of men on here, the fems can afford to be very picky.

It took me about 3 months which is apparently not bad going.

Keep at it, and yes, go to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged..."

Lol I'm in th3 same boat but hey who gives a shit lol I dnt really have much problem with women . I just thought this would be a another avenue of meets with like minded people.. no pussyfooting around

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By *redjMan
over a year ago

gloucestershire

The main thing is don’t expect anything & just be yourself !! Clubs are a good place to meet & make friends it’ll happen when you least expect it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try harder

You need a big hot list

A big friends list

Click on club reviews to see which couples go to meet singles

Effort and patience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand where you are coming from mate. I've been on and off the site for a few years and find it extremely frustrating when you take your time to message someone and they delete your message without even a "Thanks, but no thanks" But, having said that, it only takes one to reply to you and before you know it, you're having some great fun. Stick at it mate and I'm sure something good will come your way.....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged...

Lol I'm in th3 same boat but hey who gives a shit lol I dnt really have much problem with women . I just thought this would be a another avenue of meets with like minded people.. no pussyfooting around "

Your username will put people off. It did me, sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its purely the ratio of men to women, Adding to the fact many men are spamming the fuck out of every female.

Imagine having 300 emails every time you logged in, you would just start to ignore 99%.

Its nothing personal Just how swinging sites are.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I've been on here for about a month and a half now and tried to be as polite as possible aswell as attempt conversation starters all to no avail.

Can someone please point me in the right direction with tips or things that could get the ball rolling for me?

Is it my photos?is it my profile bio?am I just not cut out for this? I'm beginning to lose a lot of faith....i don't expect anything to happen overnight but I also didn't expect to be 99.9% not to the taste of those who I have messaged..."

The moral of the story is don't rely on fab for your sex life.

Treat it as a bonus if anything happens off here and then you won't be disappointed.

Attend socials and clubs to get yourself known is the normal advice.

Can you chat to women and get dates, meets, one night stands away from fab ?

Don't forget that a lot of none "fab" women members still enjoy fun and naughty times.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Sensible as always Sam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes time an effort, posti g on forums, chatting in the local chat rooms. Messaging with your face pic. Out something catchy in the title of the email, to show some humour e.g not another cock pic, open me, you know you want to etc.

Good luck it is not easy but you will get there.

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By *unningFoxWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You have no displayed veris so just start with a slim them for a coffee or a drink and if they are safe and interested they will go for it.

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By *unningFoxWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"You have no displayed veris so just start with a slim them for a coffee or a drink and if they are safe and interested they will go for it. "

“asking” not a slim

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

A lot of women find a cock profile pic offputting

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By *ayyoMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I can't speak for all the ladies on here but when I talk to a lady I hope she looking at my eyes and not my erect cock

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By *reeMan
over a year ago

Paisley

Might be just me but women, I think, look for more than just a "fat cock"....just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried reading that book "How to hypnotize women"? Never fails...

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By *di086Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Hi, to be hones I have same "issue" as author of this thread. Maybye only one time got reply from woman that's all. Dunno where's the problem i can give you some examples: social update of x- woman - I want to fuck right now. my pm title is what she had in shout, and question if she's into it. Message like instantly deleted by vieving topic title…. It's much easier to met a lady in a local pub,club than here to be honest. But sometimes you just want NSA no question, just sex...

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Hi, to be hones I have same "issue" as author of this thread. Maybye only one time got reply from woman that's all. Dunno where's the problem i can give you some examples: social update of x- woman - I want to fuck right now. my pm title is what she had in shout, and question if she's into it. Message like instantly deleted by vieving topic title…. It's much easier to met a lady in a local pub,club than here to be honest. But sometimes you just want NSA no question, just sex... "

Well not having a profile pic wont help. Or a poor profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on the forums and act a dick, that seems to serve some well

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Go on the forums and act a dick, that seems to serve some well "
Seconded

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Go on the forums and act a dick, that seems to serve some well "

I've done alright by it

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Oh and get on page 1 of men's hot pics, that really helps gather some interest.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Go on the forums and act a dick, that seems to serve some well "

Not worked for me, note to self "must try harder"

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By *di086Man
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Hi, to be hones I have same "issue" as author of this thread. Maybye only one time got reply from woman that's all. Dunno where's the problem i can give you some examples: social update of x- woman - I want to fuck right now. my pm title is what she had in shout, and question if she's into it. Message like instantly deleted by vieving topic title…. It's much easier to met a lady in a local pub,club than here to be honest. But sometimes you just want NSA no question, just sex...

Well not having a profile pic wont help. Or a poor profile. "

I have all now only for friends only view. lost faith in this site.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Hi, to be hones I have same "issue" as author of this thread. Maybye only one time got reply from woman that's all. Dunno where's the problem i can give you some examples: social update of x- woman - I want to fuck right now. my pm title is what she had in shout, and question if she's into it. Message like instantly deleted by vieving topic title…. It's much easier to met a lady in a local pub,club than here to be honest. But sometimes you just want NSA no question, just sex...

Well not having a profile pic wont help. Or a poor profile.

I have all now only for friends only view. lost faith in this site. "

So you have all your pics friends only, next to nothing on your profile and you are moaning you get no interest? Go figure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never a truer word said or try Badoo at least you have a good chance of meeting some one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets face it the men out number the woman by a extreme amount and its a catch 22 people dont want to meet a person who has not been verified and cant get a meet with being verified.Last time i was on i meet a really nice lady but for me the Social side is the main thing i enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont take it to heart a lot of fake profiles on here

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract


"Never a truer word said or try Badoo at least you have a good chance of meeting some one"

Why do you men suggest sending them to a DATING site Jesus we are not here just for your sexual gratification and men wonder why we ignore ...x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Too many cock pics for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just me opinion as dating sites are not just to meet a Lady for sex its about having a nice time and getting to know some one and as for ignoring men how would ladies feel if they put their heart and soul in to messages only to have them deleted or never read anyone would get a bit dishearted

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract


" people dont want to meet a person who has not been verified and cant get a meet with being verified."

Getting verified is not really that hard to the man who is actually here for the right reason there is plenty of socials all over ... club meets etc but a lot of men on here give the.... oh I feel nervous about going to clubs socials etc .... but yet they wants social 1 on 1 .... erm it's same thing really as hosts make you feel welcome but I feel a lot on here just expect it to be a sex site where no effort is involved sorry if I offend I don't mean too x

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By *aughty But Nice TwiceWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract


"Its just me opinion as dating sites are not just to meet a Lady for sex its about having a nice time and getting to know some one and as for ignoring men how would ladies feel if they put their heart and soul in to messages only to have them deleted or never read anyone would get a bit dishearted "

Maybe if they learnt to read past the pic and stop the dick taking over they might get somwhere... sorry but amount of messages I get where it CLEARLY shows they not read bc they smokers can't accomadate and the mist annoying is no profile pic even with pic attached they still HAVE NOT READ MY PROFILE bc I say I won't answer msg like that .... but they still send them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about Guys who dont want to meet in a Club as not everyone last time i was on i met a lovely lady in a nice pub and took things from there.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"What about Guys who dont want to meet in a Club as not everyone last time i was on i met a lovely lady in a nice pub and took things from there."

How did this thread turn into your whingathon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you mean a truthathon

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

This really isn't the best place to look for casual sex if you're a single guy. I still wouldn't go anywhere else though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So this is not the place but dont go any where else that some logic you got there

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"So this is not the place but dont go any where else that some logic you got there "

I said I wouldn't go anywhere else. You probably should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And why is that i am simply voicing my opinion

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"And why is that i am simply voicing my opinion "

And it's sadly quite negative. Don't put your heart and soul into messages. Make them short but good.

Try positive thinking too

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"And why is that i am simply voicing my opinion "

Don't then it's totally up to you. I got the impression you weren't having much luck and were frustrated, if so then better go else where than mope about on here. If you're enjoying it and fab is working for you then great stuff and crack on bud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been on here before and meet a lovely lady so know how it works.As for stating the facts it funny how the person is branded a winger or simply frustrated funny how the truth seems to hit a nerve

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Been on here before and meet a lovely lady so know how it works.As for stating the facts it funny how the person is branded a winger or simply frustrated funny how the truth seems to hit a nerve"

What is the truth, I missed it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More chance of winning the lottery than a average looking non verified guy getting a meet no matter how many messages they send oh then when i was verified was told sorry dont meet people who have been verified

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"More chance of winning the lottery than a average looking non verified guy getting a meet no matter how many messages they send"

Maybe a slight exaggeration but in principle I agree, so what?

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

o/p join in with forum chat, have a laugh and maybe get along to a social or two. GSOH can get you noticed.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"More chance of winning the lottery than a average looking non verified guy getting a meet no matter how many messages they send

Maybe a slight exaggeration but in principle I agree, so what?"

I'm a 52 year old bloke, I'm in Reasonably good shape for my age, but I don't kid myself I'm in any woman's hot list for physical attractiveness.

But when I was a single and now, I've never had that much trouble meeting women. The "secret" is treating women like people and talking to them as people and not as random holes in which you hope to put your cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spot on like i have said before i think its important to get to know a person and not think of them as a sorry for the crude tall a fucktoy to be used how ever you fell if thats what your on here for its not what its all about in my view anyway

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Been on here before and meet a lovely lady so know how it works.As for stating the facts it funny how the person is branded a winger or simply frustrated funny how the truth seems to hit a nerve"

You haven't hit a nerve. People are telling you that your attitude won't help.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

All single men here would ideally be advised that it takes massive effort for a very long period to make just a little progress here. Smiling face photos are more inviting Imo than others. I'd also consider a male using the term man, rather than lad, to potentially sound more mature, which may help you with some.

Overall your profile has to sell you, so that it's you and not one of the other thousands that we will meet. Reflect on what we'd like to understand when we are looking for a guy to meet - this will include appreciating how you appear physically when you are with us, so enabling us to pick you because we judge your physical attractiveness to us as stronger than the other guys. When uncertain about someone or something we probably skip on to the next person who does it better.

Check out some other guys profiles critically to see how it makes you learn from their positive and less positive aspects.

The club idea is good. Also gravitate towards friendly people, as we're not all here 24/7 to only interact for sex.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Hi, to be hones I have same "issue" as author of this thread. Maybye only one time got reply from woman that's all. Dunno where's the problem i can give you some examples: social update of x- woman - I want to fuck right now. my pm title is what she had in shout, and question if she's into it. Message like instantly deleted by vieving topic title…. It's much easier to met a lady in a local pub,club than here to be honest. But sometimes you just want NSA no question, just sex...

Well not having a profile pic wont help. Or a poor profile.

I have all now only for friends only view. lost faith in this site. "

The site is just a collection of people like you and me, so it's better Imo to find and get to know decent people, as we each individually exist. Restricting your pics just puts you one step removed from those people who could become good friends or sex enablers. It's right to learn from our mistakes or poorer experiences but a common thing is for people to pull away, when this potentially does little more than restrict them, thus prolonging the failure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think the Guy has the right attitude at all if shall we say the reak world said to a total stranger fancy a shag it would get him a slap to say the least so why think its goig to work here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile pics your cock think about it and reads people profiles first

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"More chance of winning the lottery than a average looking non verified guy getting a meet no matter how many messages they send oh then when i was verified was told sorry dont meet people who have been verified "

Think your username tells everbody what they need to know.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"I dont think the Guy has the right attitude at all if shall we say the reak world said to a total stranger fancy a shag it would get him a slap to say the least so why think its goig to work here"

You may want to spellcheck your posts too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah dick pics are fucking tiresome. Like shopping through a butchers catalogue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah dick pics are fucking tiresome. Like shopping through a butchers catalogue. "

That has made my day

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X"

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh. "

Indeed. #Clown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh.

Indeed. #Clown"

Think of this place as some where to chat and pass the time with nice people and if you click with some one thats great but if now no need to be nasty to people

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh.

Indeed. #Clown

Think of this place as some where to chat and pass the time with nice people and if you click with some one thats great but if now no need to be nasty to people

"

And this "I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." isn't being nasty to people?! Really?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh.

Indeed. #Clown

Think of this place as some where to chat and pass the time with nice people and if you click with some one thats great but if now no need to be nasty to people

And this "I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." isn't being nasty to people?! Really?! "

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh.

Indeed. #Clown"

I'm sorry. You are right and I apologise. I'm sure with your wonderful profile picture, well written profile and insightful comments on here you will be knee deep in clunge in no time. Merry Christmas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If push comes to shove there's always a willing prostitute

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Profile text is fine. Personally I don't like dick pics as profile pics so it will take a damn good message for me to reply to one.

As for messages, we women receive tonnes. I currently have over 100 unread as I can't be bothered and nearly all of them will be single guys so it's quite hard to stand out on messages. I tend to respond to ones that are both nice and respectful and a little funny too in a way that makes it stand out. Ones that make me smile.

I agree with others though that you're much more likely to have more success in a club. The vast majority of men on here are either wanking behind a computer screen or basically after the equivalent of a one night stand but without even having to leave the house. It's still hard in person for single men but at least you're competing with a few dozen rather than a few hundred and it's easier to express your personality and charm in person than through the internet.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ok a month on here is really quick so I would not worry that much. I would say engage yourself on the forums, join in with the banter and keep eye out for local meets.

I know it’s a bit of a catch 22, no one will meet you because your not verified but to be verified you have to meet someone. I would say a few ways to go down this line.

1) look out for large organised socials. These are perfect opertunity to meet people in a non swinging environment. My advice is don’t get to pissed, and just talk to people like you would do in pub or at work. Maybe look down the list find a couple or female and message and say it would be nice to catch up and say hello

2) get yourself to a club. These are definitely a more sexual environment. I personally would go on a non party night and it give you option to actually talk to people at the bar. Tell the staff your new and they would normally introduce you to some regulars. I would say don’t expect to play on first club night but if you meet anyone make sure you follow up with a message even ifs social.

3) have a look through profiles l, read exactly what they are looking for send a mail. I would not worry if you don’t get a reply I don’t and I know the people. Couples and female gets 100s of mails a day and sometimes your message is missed. Try to structure it in a polite way at least if you don’t know the person

4) remove cock pic from profile pic. Whilst I know a lot of women like to see cock, they do prefer to see a face and bum pic first before they look at your manhood. I would say also loose the army shorts pic. Maybe a topeless shirts or boxer short pic may work better

Good luck anyway mate, there are plenty of ladies and couples looking for a single gent

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Ah well like the men the women are looking for somebody who don’t exist then moan about people being fake if you watch the forums or the local tabs it’s quite funny really, there are some nice ladies on here who do talk, which is nice so don’t worry about it mate a profile is just words it just get stuck in n see who reply’s lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Ah well like the men the women are looking for somebody who don’t exist then moan about people being fake if you watch the forums or the local tabs it’s quite funny really, there are some nice ladies on here who do talk, which is nice so don’t worry about it mate a profile is just words it just get stuck in n see who reply’s lol"

This is terrible advice. A profile is incredibly important.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"Ah well like the men the women are looking for somebody who don’t exist then moan about people being fake if you watch the forums or the local tabs it’s quite funny really, there are some nice ladies on here who do talk, which is nice so don’t worry about it mate a profile is just words it just get stuck in n see who reply’s lol

This is terrible advice. A profile is incredibly important. "

Agreed!!!! It is like your CV. As a single guy you need to sell yourself

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The moaning about being fake is because of people being fake, too. (time wasting, picture collecting, lying about who they are)

I think the kind of people I want to meet exist (I've met some), they're just vastly outnumbered by people who I don't or who don't sell themselves well.

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By *ayyoMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh. "
I know and it's not something I'm proud of but I'm just being honest. I put a lot of effort into that particular message and when it just gets deleted withour even a thanks but no thanks I think it deserves someone being told they are rude bastards. I would do the same in real life if I met someone face to face and they just ignored me. Respect is everything.

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By *ayyoMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Actually. I am proud of it.

Rude bastards need to be told and learn some manners.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"You haven't hit a nerve. People are telling you that your attitude won't help. "

This exactly thumb)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh. I know and it's not something I'm proud of but I'm just being honest. I put a lot of effort into that particular message and when it just gets deleted withour even a thanks but no thanks I think it deserves someone being told they are rude bastards. I would do the same in real life if I met someone face to face and they just ignored me. Respect is everything. "

There's no comparison between receiving hundreds of unsolicited messages a day and talking to someone face to face. Do you reply to all of your messages in your email spam folder? No, I thought not! Respect is to read a profile before messaging to see if you are what they are looking for.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Actually. I am proud of it.

Rude bastards need to be told and learn some manners. "

It can also be said that arrogant people should read the rules

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Actually. I am proud of it.

Rude bastards need to be told and learn some manners.

It can also be said that arrogant people should read the rules "

Quite. I read the rules, thought it was strange, and learned very quickly why it was so.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


" I put a lot of effort into that particular message and when it just gets deleted withour even a thanks but no thanks I think it deserves someone being told they are rude bastards. I would do the same in real life if I met someone face to face and they just ignored me. Respect is everything. "

Have you ever put a takeaway menu or local newspaper that has been popped through your letter box straight in the bin without phoning them to thank them ? Someone has taken time to produce them too

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


" Have you ever put a takeaway menu or local newspaper that has been popped through your letter box straight in the bin without phoning them to thank them ? Someone has taken time to produce them too"

And paid money for the designing and printing. And most likely the wages of the person who stuck them through the door.

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By *ayyoMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Yes. Let's get some perspective here.

A printed mass produced advertising leaflet doesn't want a personal reply other than your custom. I on the otherhand am a human being. If that leaflet was printed especially for me and custom designed to meet my needs then I would definitely reply to it.

The fact you have equated my whole existence and life down to junk mail is a fucking insult and disgraceful. You shold be ashamed of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The point they are trying to make is that the couples you contact could recieve dozens of messages a day. Perhaps up to a hundred dependent on the couple. When you recieve that many then yeah they all start to read exectly the same unless you can somehow make yourself different from the crowd.

It's not rudeness it's just choosing what type of person you want to get involved with.

I know a lot of people like to treat this as a network like Facebook where you can meet and connect with new friends instantly and that's that, but let's face it, people are allowed to be picky about what type of person that they want in their vaginas.

Throwing a hissy fit when they don't reply just earns yourself a reputation in social circles whether it's the swinging circles or a fucking card game.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Mate.

I've jumped through hoops looking for meets. Seriously. I've shown cock for those who want it. Not shown for those who don't. Been polite and respectful. Put passwords in titles to prove ive read what they want. Sent face pics. Not sent face pics. Been humorous. Honest. I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted. It's very demoralising I know. However. I have struck lucky once or twice out of the hundreds of messages ive sent and I know the next step is to actually go to clubs and meet people. But there's a catch 22 there too coz I'm trying to message people to go to a club with as I won't go on my own and the whole process starts again. No reply. I've given up caring now. Put my face on a short message and hope for the best. Had more replies that way. Don't bother reading what they want or don't want. It's a waste of time and energy and emotionally draining. Put yourself out there. You'll probably get a message out the blue saying meet now. That's what I get. When all there friends have let them down. Anyway. Clubs clubs clubs is the way to go. I think. Who knows. Hope this was supportive and helpful. X

"I've even got to the point I've been abusive because of the effort I've put into some messages and just been deleted." don't think you've done yourself any favours with this bit of your post tbh. I know and it's not something I'm proud of but I'm just being honest. I put a lot of effort into that particular message and when it just gets deleted withour even a thanks but no thanks I think it deserves someone being told they are rude bastards. I would do the same in real life if I met someone face to face and they just ignored me. Respect is everything. "

Think someone needs to read the site FAQ'S.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Yes. Let's get some perspective here.

A printed mass produced advertising leaflet doesn't want a personal reply other than your custom. I on the otherhand am a human being. If that leaflet was printed especially for me and custom designed to meet my needs then I would definitely reply to it.

The fact you have equated my whole existence and life down to junk mail is a fucking insult and disgraceful. You shold be ashamed of yourself. "

Everybody comes on here with their own idea of how the site will be for them. Some people are just not compatable. That is where the site tools like filters and the block button come into play. Then everybody is happy.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Yes. Let's get some perspective here.

A printed mass produced advertising leaflet doesn't want a personal reply other than your custom. I on the otherhand am a human being. If that leaflet was printed especially for me and custom designed to meet my needs then I would definitely reply to it.

The fact you have equated my whole existence and life down to junk mail is a fucking insult and disgraceful. You shold be ashamed of yourself. "

This is turning into a great filter thread

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By *ayyoMan
over a year ago

liverpool

[Removed by poster at 26/12/18 19:51:38]

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