FabSwingers.com forum: Do you tell your fb and fwb you are meeting?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So for those who meet someone regularly, the meets that turned into friendship and maybe a bit more, dare I even say a bit boyfriendy/girlfriendy? Do you tell them that you are meeting? Do you feel like you owe them an explanation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fwb and I are always open and honest about everything. We have rules, the same as with any other type of relationship. We rarely meet others seperately anyway but always tell eachother when we are going to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I tell mine. I have a FWB who I don't get to see very often now due to distance but he knows about all of my meets and enjoys the stories too. I have someone who could probably be classed as a FB and I don't hide that I'm meeting others nor does he. It's fab life. Jealously doesn't have a place here

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By *he witch returnsWoman
over a year ago

somewhere over the rainbow in SW Devon

I have a fb whom we share a couple profile with. I also have a single profile as well. If I meet up other guys I do tell him.

He could check on my profile as well if he wanted.

But never has.

There is no place for jealousy on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell someone. But if they asked, sure no need to hide it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As with any form of relationship honesty is always the best policy.

male

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By *ornybynature419Man
over a year ago

South East London

I owe them or anyone else no explanation, if I want to meet anyone or not...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still trying to find a fwb x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not this time around, as I still have to meet someone!

Previously on here if it was someone new I was meeting I may tell the couple I was playing long term with, but generally, no.

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By *innerfrompinnerWoman
over a year ago

pinner

If its a problem being honest you may as well walk away...end of

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

When I have been in that kind of relationship I haven't told them, they knew I was meeting whenever but I never told them about specific meets, as I felt I like to keep that completely to myself.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

We're honest and open about everything. But that doesn't mean we discuss everything. We respect each other's privacy and are secure enough that neither of us feels the need to know everything either of us does outside of our bubble, but also know that if we did ask, we'd get an honest answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We're honest and open about everything. But that doesn't mean we discuss everything. We respect each other's privacy and are secure enough that neither of us feels the need to know everything either of us does outside of our bubble, but also know that if we did ask, we'd get an honest answer

This sounds healthy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the relationship. A FB I probably wouldn't tell unless it just came up in conversation. A FWB is more than just sex so I would tell him.

There are also couples on here like us who are more than FWBs but aren't partners in 'real life'. We don't tend to meet others on our own but if we did we would talk to each other beforehand.

It's just a case of communicating, knowing what is expected and being honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do with my regular girl. We talk about who we have met, who we are meeting and what we get up to. There’s no secrets and no need to be either.

Whenever she talks to someone new, that profile tends to land on my profile several times a day, I’m guessing from clicking on my profile through my verification on her profile so I can usually tell when she’s online by my profile views

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fwb doesn't like it one day, then the next he says he doesn't mind. Then it's as long as I don't meet people local,as he wouldn't like it,too he would get jealous. We've talked about meeting people together but he admitted he would be jealous.

I wish he could make up his mind lol. As for him, I told him I would be fine him meeting one offs, said if I saw him I'd be jealous, he's curious about meeting a couple together, but we just don't know if we could separate the sex with emotional attachment.

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

I need a fwb like this.. I need a woman that I can be loyal to but know she is going to see other guys. Hopefully she will be honest and tell me about it and if I am lucky some of the finer details

If she would sometimes let me see her after that would be perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I've met someone on this level, I've always tended to go exclusive as they say they don't want to meet others, so i feel obliged to do the same. This time, even though I'm meeting someone regularly, it has no impact on my ability to meet others as I meet with the male half of a married fab couple and it is completely relaxed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x"

Friends with benefits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x

Friends with benefits "

Thank you

And what’s the difference to a FB?

More social interaction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x

Friends with benefits

Thank you

And what’s the difference to a FB?

More social interaction?"

Yes. A FB tends to be just a hook up. FWB is more personal. They take an interest in your life. Develop a genuine care and friendship and socialise together as well as have sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x

Friends with benefits

Thank you

And what’s the difference to a FB?

More social interaction?

Yes. A FB tends to be just a hook up. FWB is more personal. They take an interest in your life. Develop a genuine care and friendship and socialise together as well as have sex

Thanks my lovely

You’re always so kind in forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I know what FB means

But can someone explain what FWB means to them please?

Thanks

Mrs P x

Friends with benefits

Thank you

And what’s the difference to a FB?

More social interaction?

Yes. A FB tends to be just a hook up. FWB is more personal. They take an interest in your life. Develop a genuine care and friendship and socialise together as well as have sex

Thanks my lovely

You’re always so kind in forums

Aww thank you both. That's really sweet of you to say

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Absolutely. Honesty is always best!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"My fwb doesn't like it one day, then the next he says he doesn't mind. Then it's as long as I don't meet people local,as he wouldn't like it,too he would get jealous. We've talked about meeting people together but he admitted he would be jealous.

This really doesn't sound healthy tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and I have a policy......

What she does when she is in prison is none of my business.... and vice versa...

When she gets released from prison..... I have some explaining to do....

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

The intricacies of the FWB relationship. Mine are very close relationships but are very different. One built around sex and clubbing but I definitely think of us as great friends, another with a much deeper connection. Plus other people I’ve met here who I might meet up with again.

I don’t have a problem with them meeting whoever they like. I tend to say before I put up a meeting since I’m more likely to want to meet them (if a have a free eve) than someone new.

If one of them wants to know about my eve I’ll give a general description but tend not to give all the details, it feels a bit disrespectful to the person I was with. I might share something that I thought was funny or quite rude perhaps.

V x

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Yes, absolutely. My two regular partners know if i am going to meet someone for fun. I'm open and honest with them.

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By *arlot_CharlotteWoman
over a year ago

Salford

It's like any relationship - it's up to you both to decide what's acceptable and what's not, nobody else can say otherwise.

I tend to only meet friends I've made, which means couples and ladies (no single guys), but mine and my fella's time always takes priority and we chat about anything else that may crop up x

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By *lsieWoman
over a year ago

where ever

"I'm still trying to find a fwb x"

Me too x

No interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither of us owes each other anything. I ask him if he's fucked anyone recently because I like hearing about it.

Only once did he ask me. If he wanted to know I'd tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This really doesn't sound healthy tbh. "

I know what you mean, and we are a work in progress tbf. We are working through it, we are great at communicating with each other so at least we have that, we also have the trust, and respect, it's a start.

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By *ugga MannMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

Recently I’ve become quite close to someone who ticks many of my boxes and I hers. Much much more than a FB. Very definitely a FWB, perhaps a bit more.

I nearly cocked it up by not being totally open (economical with the truth) mostly because I didn’t know another way. Thankfully she has given me another chance and we are being completely open.

So, when she tells me that she’s planning to meet someone, I can’t help feeling a little “twinge” - BUT it’s important to remember that for our relationship to exist outside of the traditional, this is going to happen and I need to be OK with it.

If it’s not OK and you can’t see yourself coming to terms with it, you’re not being honest about what you want and that’s a slippery slope.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

An FB, no I wouldn't tell them. They're not that involved in my life that I see it matters.

Long term FWB, then yes. If they're a friend, soneone I care about, who cares about me, then they deserve my honesty.

I would tell mine, if I was planning anything, even just a social.

A club night out, I go out with no expectations, but if something was to happen, he would be the first to know.

It would be incredibly unfair, if he was to log on here & see new verifications.

I had a previous FWB who went out of his way to hide his activities, even to the point of phoning or messaging me while he was out, claiming to be working late or having a quiet night in with his kids etc.

By chance, I clicked on someone's profile after reading something they'd written on a forum thread, and spotted a veri he'd left, obviously written in regard to one the dates, I'd thought he was at home. It didn't take long to find others, dozens of them!

That hurt.

I'd never do that to someone I called a Friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think being honest and upfront about what your intentions and plans are. Atleast that way people are on the same page. Mind you, I’m saying this and still struggle for a meet haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been thinking about this and I’m more and more against it. I don’t want to have to tell someone that I’m meeting someone else. That crosses the line from fb into a relationship.

It’s also inevitably going to lead to jealousy. I really don’t like that idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had the fwb who made me totally happy, in every way, then I wouldn't have the need for other meets.

Guess I'm not that good at this swinging stuff....

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"An FB, no I wouldn't tell them. They're not that involved in my life that I see it matters.

Long term FWB, then yes. If they're a friend, soneone I care about, who cares about me, then they deserve my honesty.

I would tell mine, if I was planning anything, even just a social.

A club night out, I go out with no expectations, but if something was to happen, he would be the first to know.

It would be incredibly unfair, if he was to log on here & see new verifications.

That hurt.

I'd never do that to someone I called a Friend.

Very much food for thought..

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"An FB, no I wouldn't tell them. They're not that involved in my life that I see it matters.

Long term FWB, then yes. If they're a friend, soneone I care about, who cares about me, then they deserve my honesty.

I would tell mine, if I was planning anything, even just a social.

A club night out, I go out with no expectations, but if something was to happen, he would be the first to know.

It would be incredibly unfair, if he was to log on here & see new verifications.

That hurt.

I'd never do that to someone I called a Friend.

Very much food for thought.. "

I don't think we would be decent caring people if we didn't feel a twinge when some one we care about ( most likely a partner ) is playing with someone else. However I am sure that you can find a way to mitigate that twinge ( both men and women have it) so that it does not become a deal breaker in a relationship.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"So for those who meet someone regularly, the meets that turned into friendship and maybe a bit more, dare I even say a bit boyfriendy/girlfriendy? Do you tell them that you are meeting? Do you feel like you owe them an explanation? "

I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation, but I'm upfront about meeting others as they are about meeting others.

I like to swap stories afterwards.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My FWB and I know when the other is meeting. He's my safety person here. But it's because we like sharing, not because we owe explanations to each other. It's not that kind of thing for us.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’m lucky I have a lovely FWB. We have established some rules. When we get together we tell each other about other meets. We don’t go into details or first names. We use a name like “Leeds Man”. We don’t personalise it more than that. We both know what’s going on. What we don’t do is tell each other in advance what we are doing.

It’s not a Cuckold relationship. I’m not going to get off thinking “what’s she doing now. Is he better than me”. That’s not us. Be are both pleased that the other person is out having a good time and meeting interesting people.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

That hurt.

I'd never do that to someone I called a Friend.

Very much food for thought..

But that's the point.

I don't get twinges, I'm not a jealous or possessive person.

The total opposite.

I might feel a bit disappointed someone was free, but I couldn't make that date, but if they've got the opportunity to go out and have some fun, I'd actually be happy for them.

It was the deceit, the lengths he went to, to hide his actions, calling me 'from home' while he was out, not publishing veris he then recieved.

When you think you know someone, trust them totaly, have been completly honest with them, and they have absolutely no need to lie to you but still do.

That's what hurt.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

That kind of dithering would drive me nuts in a relationship, but in an FWB its rather pointless... The main difference about being friends with benefits rather than in a conventional relationship is that you don't plan a future together, you live in the moment and just enjoy each other, repeatedly. So just decide what you both want right now, whether that's exclusivity, meeting other people, or meeting as a couple, and stop worrying about situations and scenarios that may never arise. I don't know how long you've been seeing each other, but he may even be feeling pressured if you're asking him to make decisions about these things all at once, and that's why he's dithering. Enjoy your moments together... And if somewhere down the line you want to change your dynamic, talk about it then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From reading this thread it seems like most people consider friends with benefits to be similar to a relationship. Asking permission, getting jealous, being concerned about “lies” and “honesty” (a dramatic way of reacting to the other person keeping their sex life private).

This is why I don’t meet most people more than once. It gets way too complicated too fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From reading this thread it seems like most people consider friends with benefits to be similar to a relationship. Asking permission, getting jealous, being concerned about “lies” and “honesty” (a dramatic way of reacting to the other person keeping their sex life private).

This is why I don’t meet most people more than once. It gets way too complicated too fast"

May I ask do you tell them it will only be a one off before you have sex with them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An FB, no I wouldn't tell them. They're not that involved in my life that I see it matters.

Long term FWB, then yes. If they're a friend, soneone I care about, who cares about me, then they deserve my honesty.

I would tell mine, if I was planning anything, even just a social.

A club night out, I go out with no expectations, but if something was to happen, he would be the first to know.

It would be incredibly unfair, if he was to log on here & see new verifications.

That hurt.

I'd never do that to someone I called a Friend.

Very much food for thought..

The only twinge I get is from being turned on by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve been thinking about this and I’m more and more against it. I don’t want to have to tell someone that I’m meeting someone else. That crosses the line from fb into a relationship.

It’s also inevitably going to lead to jealousy. I really don’t like that idea.

If you claim it will lead to jealously anyway then you already have a problem in your so called FB relationship.

A FB should not be jealous of anyone else you see and if they are then it already implies they do not see the relationship as a FB and have feelings for the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends.

I had a friend who was in an open marriage so I told her everything for 2 years. (Never met husband propperly)

I didn't tell new people about her because she said she wouldn't continue to see me if I developed something serious with anouther person.

So I still went on 1st dates with other people I met online or saw a few times

I was first introduced to fab by her a few years ago.

So basicly...

You should be on a level with your casual friend.

I tried it with other people (not my own idea of what I wanted)

^^^it never worked because they were immature

I don't seek out these arrangements.

I had 1 girlfriend who likes to float inbetween a fucking friend and a girlfriend... (emotional baby)

The lady in the open marriage was more grounded and mentally mature.

The "no strings" thing gets exploited by some women with other types of favours they want (plus emotional baggage)

My open marriage friend...I Never knew her real name or job or if she had children or her adress.

We exchanged gifts at christmass etc... but it wasn't a 1 way thing.

This fuckfriend relationship was quite grounded because she was a smart person (smarter than me)

In contrast the dumb German girl I dated had me play with her kid and visit the exmother in-laws on 2nd date and presented a 5 year plan of one sided fuckbudy terms that ended in something serious (After 5 year)

Best advice is to not get emotionally involved and respect eachother etc...

Men should avoid telling fuckbudy about other women but my casual friend got off on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends.