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By *razymaybe OP   Couple
over a year ago

Truro

You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

No. We did it once and immediately agreed not to again.

We don't know if she knew or not but we guess not as he took the wedding ring off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"
you're a couple yes? Only you said that in singular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. We did it once and immediately agreed not to again.

We don't know if she knew or not but we guess not as he took the wedding ring off "

so he told you he was married but took the wedding ring off?

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By *razymaybe OP   Couple
over a year ago

Truro

We are a couple that's plays solo as well.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

No not for me no matter how disappointed I'd be.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't take things further.

Affair to me implies emotional involvement that to me is more of a betrayal than physical involvement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't take things further.

Affair to me implies emotional involvement that to me is more of a betrayal than physical involvement."

I agree, an affair includes emotion. Different to swinging. Forgetting about the third party, how would your partner feel if they thought you were having an affair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't judge but at the same time I know it's a much more complicated setup so if I have options I'll probably pass...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there, got the t shirt.

Saw him regularly for a couple of years. He’s married, I’m single.

5 Years on I still see him every now and again. He clearly cares for me, probably more so than I do him.

I’ve chosen to keep a safe distance. It’ll only end in tears.

Shame because he’s a good apple!!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'd wouldn't go there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'."

Simple to ask if you want to know. No you can't guarantee that somebody won't lie to you when asked. If that is the case you can only go on the information you have. However if you have knowledge someone is cheating you do then have the choice to decline if you so wish. If it wouldn't make any difference then no need to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Simple to ask if you want to know. No you can't guarantee that somebody won't lie to you when asked. If that is the case you can only go on the information you have. However if you have knowledge someone is cheating you do then have the choice to decline if you so wish. If it wouldn't make any difference then no need to ask. "

Exactly, so why do people make such an issue of it online, yet aren't bothered when in a club. Hmmmmm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just meet people and assume they are attached....

I look at this way.... what are chances this person isn’t dating someone else or has a fuck buddy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just meet people and assume they are attached....

I look at this way.... what are chances this person isn’t dating someone else or has a fuck buddy?"

I’m the same, assume attached unless I hear/know otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having sex with someone else without your partner's agreement is cheating, romance does n't have to come into it.

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By *greygorCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

we been at this a long time .fact of the matter is .most guys that play on fab [or else where ]have a female in back ground. if we play with them its there shit if they get found out .dont come crying to us .most men that go to clubs in the day time working hours are defo married .we play as couple and do not have to ans to any one .

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Depends whether they are male or female.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"... I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Simple to ask if you want to know. No you can't guarantee that somebody won't lie to you when asked. If that is the case you can only go on the information you have. However if you have knowledge someone is cheating you do then have the choice to decline if you so wish. If it wouldn't make any difference then no need to ask.

Exactly, so why do people make such an issue of it online, yet aren't bothered when in a club. Hmmmmm."

Maybe because in a club they are less likely to have your contact details so there is virtually no chance of some demented bunny-boiler appearing on your doorstep or pestering you with phone calls or text messages.

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By *renchy19Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

I'm married and I have my reasons for being here. Everyone on here has choice who they play with and I totally understand those who choose not to play with married people. That said there is some amazing hypocritical behavior I have seen on here.

I have a couples profile on here too with a lady who is also married. We have spoken to couples on here who have said no to us for being married.... Totally understand. Then two days later they are messaging her for a solo meet. Funny how their principals are put to one side when a bi sexual woman is at stake??

This is no judgement of anyone who has already posted on this thread.... I am just saying our experience and its not a one off

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

It all depends on what you're after:

plain fucking

ethical fucking or

fucking haven't a clue

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

I have a couples profile on here too with a lady who is also married. We have spoken to couples on here who have said no to us for being married.... Totally understand. Then two days later they are messaging her for a solo meet. Funny how their principals are put to one side when a bi sexual woman is at stake??

"

Simple, they don't want to play with married men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

"

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big no from us, we don't need the drama it might bring.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I would leave well alone and be annoyed if they had hidden it.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. Dont like sneaking around. Each to their own but not for me. I'd hate to be involved/ implicated. No drama please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't care less. I'm selfish that way.

Don't make me part of your games, I have enough of my own shit to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been involved in an affair before. She was married but there was no physical side to their relationship any more. Unfortunately it happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me. "

Thank you for an open mind, so many that aren't on here. I don't hide it, and understand why some don't want to get involved, but to judge someone you don't know? I could have lied and tried to hide it, or say that it's an open relationship, but I believe in openness. The term 'cheat' is banded around, but after 4 years of a sexless relationship that used to be very active, who's been cheated the most? I decided I'm not ready to give up on something so important at 45, I have received a number of messages, some abusive, judging me, asking why I don't just leave etc. but how many of them have gone so long without being made to feel attractive to some1, or able to express their true self. I do wonder how many women in the same permission receive the same? I thought the lifestyle was about freedom to openly explore, express, share, whatever one wants, among others that give the same freedom as well as taking it. If it was my partner on here cos I'd let myself go and would rather spend my evenings up the pub than pay her any attention, the same people would be saying it served me right, or 'go girl'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me.

Thank you for an open mind, so many that aren't on here. I don't hide it, and understand why some don't want to get involved, but to judge someone you don't know? I could have lied and tried to hide it, or say that it's an open relationship, but I believe in openness. The term 'cheat' is banded around, but after 4 years of a sexless relationship that used to be very active, who's been cheated the most? I decided I'm not ready to give up on something so important at 45, I have received a number of messages, some abusive, judging me, asking why I don't just leave etc. but how many of them have gone so long without being made to feel attractive to some1, or able to express their true self. I do wonder how many women in the same permission receive the same? I thought the lifestyle was about freedom to openly explore, express, share, whatever one wants, among others that give the same freedom as well as taking it. If it was my partner on here cos I'd let myself go and would rather spend my evenings up the pub than pay her any attention, the same people would be saying it served me right, or 'go girl' "

We all judge, even you. Swingers are no different to any other group of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I have a couples profile on here too with a lady who is also married. We have spoken to couples on here who have said no to us for being married.... Totally understand. Then two days later they are messaging her for a solo meet. Funny how their principals are put to one side when a bi sexual woman is at stake??

Simple, they don't want to play with married men."

But it’s fine to play with a married woman?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

I have a couples profile on here too with a lady who is also married. We have spoken to couples on here who have said no to us for being married.... Totally understand. Then two days later they are messaging her for a solo meet. Funny how their principals are put to one side when a bi sexual woman is at stake??

Simple, they don't want to play with married men.

But it’s fine to play with a married woman?"

Providing she is in a relationship with a man not another woman then yes it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

In total agreement. This is a swingers site not a dating one and people behave accordingly.

V x

"

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By *herrySnickersWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

No judgment here either - things aren’t always black and white. Life is complicated and beautiful. I do however value and appreciate honesty x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

If we are at a club we probably wouldn't know until after, and not our problem anyway. If meeting via fabs, not that that ever actually happens, then no chance.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

I don’t judge as know there are reasons behind it, but I wouldn’t take things further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just here for casual sex, not to break up marriages. If a guy is cheating that’s his business. I would still meet and wouldn’t feel bad. If he wasn’t screwing me it would be some other lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!"

That's awful and damn right bloody mean on his behalf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

That's awful and damn right bloody mean on his behalf."

Damn right. He lied about every single thing. And he is still at it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!"

That was good of you. Could you please include a warning on your profile that you will actively out cheats. It may help to keep the cheating twats at bay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

That was good of you. Could you please include a warning on your profile that you will actively out cheats. It may help to keep the cheating twats at bay."

He thinks that there is nothing wrong with it and everyone else is at it..

I don't know how to name and shame without being blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

That was good of you. Could you please include a warning on your profile that you will actively out cheats. It may help to keep the cheating twats at bay.

He thinks that there is nothing wrong with it and everyone else is at it..

I don't know how to name and shame without being blocked "

It isn't worth the ban. People like that just make me sick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

Happened to me. Was seeing someone for quite a while, he always had a good reason why he couldn’t accommodate (teens at home)

6 months later he finally coughed. I was nice, listened sweetly, went home and blocked him on all media. I never ever want to be the reason another woman’s heart is broken!!

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

Never because I know how it feels. Recently EX Fiance of 10 years was cheating on me and I've spent the last 3 months going over it in my head and torturing myself. Would never ever want to make someones partner feel like that

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

I wouldn’t take things further either.

Getting involved with someone who was married is a painful tee-shirt I’ve bought, thrown away and never, ever want to wear again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?

I wouldn’t take things further either.

Getting involved with someone who was married is a painful tee-shirt I’ve bought, thrown away and never, ever want to wear again. "

Me too. Was one of the most painful things I've ever encountered in a fairly drma laden life. Not something i wish to repeat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its tough one but we are all here for sex, personally maybe a friendship but nothing more. Im not here to judge and everyone has their reasons for making choices in their life.

Having said that if emotions of more than friends crept in then id have to move on.

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By *roticaCouple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

It seems different for women and men. Men on here who are married are thought of as cheats and many women avoid them. But a women cheating is almost more sexy for a man...the thought of having sex with someones misses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know my line if anyone crosses that then its bye bye there is no way in hell id give up my husband ..we have everything and worked hard with love and trust to get it what others do is up to them ill not judge but me i have my line and i never cross it for anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Simple to ask if you want to know. No you can't guarantee that somebody won't lie to you when asked. If that is the case you can only go on the information you have. However if you have knowledge someone is cheating you do then have the choice to decline if you so wish. If it wouldn't make any difference then no need to ask.

Exactly, so why do people make such an issue of it online, yet aren't bothered when in a club. Hmmmmm.

Maybe because in a club they are less likely to have your contact details so there is virtually no chance of some demented bunny-boiler appearing on your doorstep or pestering you with phone calls or text messages."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't always be sure of their home situation I know there's couples on here thathave met whilst married and ended up together and others that have broken up because of fab life's complicated enough why make it more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is just sex .. passionate and intimate yes but a relationship is much much more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age makes a big difference to me. If somebody is young and attached I'll turn them down. If they're older than me then I'm more likely to accept them being married/attached but wanting to meet.

I'm sure there's some sane rationale behind this, though it temporarily escapes me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Age makes a big difference to me. If somebody is young and attached I'll turn them down. If they're older than me then I'm more likely to accept them being married/attached but wanting to meet.

I'm sure there's some sane rationale behind this, though it temporarily escapes me. "

A younger guy may be more likely to get caught.

An older guy is wiser, has probably been caught out before and is likely to be better at covering his tracks.

#justsaying.

The Lord Fucker (aged 47)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Age makes a big difference to me. If somebody is young and attached I'll turn them down. If they're older than me then I'm more likely to accept them being married/attached but wanting to meet.

I'm sure there's some sane rationale behind this, though it temporarily escapes me. "

There isn't always an immediate sane rationale behind these things. I sometimes see a guy say weird reasons why someone has turned them down and think to myself that it seems perfectly reasonable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me.

Thank you for an open mind, so many that aren't on here. I don't hide it, and understand why some don't want to get involved, but to judge someone you don't know? I could have lied and tried to hide it, or say that it's an open relationship, but I believe in openness. The term 'cheat' is banded around, but after 4 years of a sexless relationship that used to be very active, who's been cheated the most? I decided I'm not ready to give up on something so important at 45, I have received a number of messages, some abusive, judging me, asking why I don't just leave etc. but how many of them have gone so long without being made to feel attractive to some1, or able to express their true self. I do wonder how many women in the same permission receive the same? I thought the lifestyle was about freedom to openly explore, express, share, whatever one wants, among others that give the same freedom as well as taking it. If it was my partner on here cos I'd let myself go and would rather spend my evenings up the pub than pay her any attention, the same people would be saying it served me right, or 'go girl' "

I went without for a lot longer than 4 years and I didnt cheat and that's what it is if she doesn't know youre here, it's true we don't know your circumstances but if you love that person what you're doing isn't really very nice for her, I personally understand where you're coming from you're an adult and capable of making a decision so it wouldn't personally affect me but one of the things that certainly many women dislike about a cheat is the lying and in order to be successful at cheating you have to lie a lot, people judge you for many things here, at least in your case you've been honest so people can make informed decisions about whether they meet you or not.

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By *s 2321Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

Just think how you would feel.. I think it's wrong personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It all depends on what you're after:

plain fucking

ethical fucking or

fucking haven't a clue"

Bloody hell that was a rare genius moment. Took me by surprise as I skim through what I missed.

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By *onald999Man
over a year ago

Hatfield

This is purely sex between two consenting adults. No emotions just sex. So where is the affair which means emotions and prolonged meets on a social level

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

What an absolute yuk of a situation

I’m here for fun with likeminded people.

Likeminded being the optimum word.

I’m not looking to bed a guilty mind.

It took me A HELL OF A LOT to bring my relationship to the open level it is now. I don’t want to shag a coward who darent sit down with their SO and talk about their ADULT wants and needs.

It’s a no from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What an absolute yuk of a situation

I’m here for fun with likeminded people.

Likeminded being the optimum word.

I’m not looking to bed a guilty mind.

It took me A HELL OF A LOT to bring my relationship to the open level it is now. I don’t want to shag a coward who darent sit down with their SO and talk about their ADULT wants and needs.

It’s a no from me "

Amen to that! Well said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a person hasnt got the balls to tell their partner they are on here, then they are a liar. If they lie about that then they probably lie about lots of other things, so we would never trust what their profile says.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly dont think I'd be that bothered. It's their marriage not mine. I'd be clear though that if they get caught.. they shouldn't involve me.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

That was good of you. Could you please include a warning on your profile that you will actively out cheats. It may help to keep the cheating twats at bay.

He thinks that there is nothing wrong with it and everyone else is at it..

I don't know how to name and shame without being blocked "

I'm actually more shocked that you told her than I am that someone lied about being unattached. I get that you felt betrayed and were hurting after 4 months.... So why on earth would you want to inflict that on an innocent third party who had given him her entire life? Where was your empathy?

We all make mistakes and the occasional bad choice on here. But you live and learn... You don't blow up the building

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me. "

It's none of my business, I don't like to share personal things and I don't expect it in return. Here for nsa sex only and if that's their choice then I respect that, you don't know whats going on in their relationship.

And also to add to this half the time I dont even get told, but you can usually guess when a person is attached by their patterns of texting and meets.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me.

It's none of my business, I don't like to share personal things and I don't expect it in return. Here for nsa sex only and if that's their choice then I respect that, you don't know whats going on in their relationship.

And also to add to this half the time I dont even get told, but you can usually guess when a person is attached by their patterns of texting and meets. "

I agree that you never know what's going on in someone elses relationship. That's the very reason we choose to avoid partnered people, with or without consent from the other partner. How can we possibly justify it to ourselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d pass if a woman was in a relationship and the partner didn’t know or give their blessing for them to be on here.

I couldn’t be bothered with the drama if they ever found out or even follow their partner one day to mine and confront me when I was knowingly sleeping with someone in a relationship.

Not worth it in my opinion.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Definitely dont want any part of it ..... just not worth it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a no from us honesty is always the best policy male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

Massive no from me.

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By *isser36Man
over a year ago

fylde Coast

Wouldn't bother me, not my business and they wouldn't be getting anything emotional from me just the sex they are obviously craving, just a point I'd like to make, cheating men on here are (for the most part) branded as scum and vermin where as women cheating are "in sexless relationships" and largely accepted. .... Ah the hypocrisy of fab! Haha.

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By *ornysxguyMan
over a year ago

Maldon, Essex

Perhaps Fab should add that as a preference option. Play with Married/Attached []

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the couple who said this or anyone who agrees what is the reasoning behind believing it's okay for a woman to have an affair but not for a man??

Is it if a woman is doing it she must have a good reason and if a man does it he's just being a horny twat? Cos that seems legit right?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

The really sad thing here is that so many people cannot talk to their partners.

Men (mainly) say they cheat because they are in a sexless relationship or are with someone who doesn't satisfy them sexually. In such a situation one would hope two people in a relationship could discuss that issue and try to reach a solution. For many, it seems to be easier to shag ransoms on the side.

As I say, very sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot lie.

I do meet married women. They just seem to want a good time and are good fun to be with.

Some hubbies know, some don't, I get the pleasure of them and handing them back.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"The really sad thing here is that so many people cannot talk to their partners.

Men (mainly) say they cheat because they are in a sexless relationship or are with someone who doesn't satisfy them sexually. In such a situation one would hope two people in a relationship could discuss that issue and try to reach a solution. For many, it seems to be easier to shag ransoms on the side.

As I say, very sad. "

Agreed

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I cannot lie.

I do meet married women. They just seem to want a good time and are good fun to be with.

Some hubbies know, some don't, I get the pleasure of them and handing them back.

"

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester

Instant block for us

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By *herrySnickersWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"I cannot lie.

I do meet married women. They just seem to want a good time and are good fun to be with.

Some hubbies know, some don't, I get the pleasure of them and handing them back.

"

Oh yes... we want a good time and we are good fun and I love returning to my husband...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"
Yes totally I wouldn’t play with someone who was taken and their partner doesn’t know, if your unhappy just leave don’t cheat

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester


"I cannot lie.

I do meet married women. They just seem to want a good time and are good fun to be with.

Some hubbies know, some don't, I get the pleasure of them and handing them back.

This kind of stuff is OK as all parties know and something we dabble in ourselves but people having affairs nope bugger off

Oh yes... we want a good time and we are good fun and I love returning to my husband... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck 'em. Not literally. They can do one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to be quite a few saying it's ok for married women, but not married men, somehow it's different?!

Married women are just after a bit of fun and don't get serious, it wasn't Michael Douglas boiling the bunny!

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham

What's interesting is the definition of affair. The club meets, even regularly, are ok. The home meets are ok if occasional. But if it's home meets and regular then it becomes an affair and some don't approve.

So if you're married and want to cheat, then definitely do it in a club. If that's not possible then only occasionally meet. Neither of these seem to be defined as an affair.

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London & North Wessex Downs

As a single chap I have. People have different reasons for compartmentalising their lives - some are valid, some not. If you like the person enough, their reasons are valid, and you don't think that seeing them will cause unnecessary damage then why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too messy and complicated sometimes, yet affairs happen everywhere not just on fab. If I and another met and it grew into something more than just fab meets then we are both adults and any descisions may mutually make about what the future may hold are for twopeople livubg teal lives in a messy and complicated world...

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

It is something I have been forced to spend time thinking about and I’m not sure I’ve worked out my feelings.

V x

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London & North Wessex Downs


"It is something I have been forced to spend time thinking about and I’m not sure I’ve worked out my feelings.

V x "

I'm not sure it's as black or white as we'd like it to be.....good luck with the pondering though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

Not a chance in hell...would never want to be the cause of someone else's misery.Always have a thought for the unknowing partner...they would be devastated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't judge and understand that people are here for so many different reasons, and I can appreciate why some people resort to cheating in their relationships.

This for me is fun sex, not serious dating so I would meet people who are married, as long as they are careful not to be caught out.

I do wonder about people who say they won't play with attached people yet go to clubs and play. There is no way you can guarantee that you aren't playing with a 'cheat'.

Totally agree with this... If they get caught that's their problem not mine. They have more to lose than me.

Thank you for an open mind, so many that aren't on here. I don't hide it, and understand why some don't want to get involved, but to judge someone you don't know? I could have lied and tried to hide it, or say that it's an open relationship, but I believe in openness. The term 'cheat' is banded around, but after 4 years of a sexless relationship that used to be very active, who's been cheated the most? I decided I'm not ready to give up on something so important at 45, I have received a number of messages, some abusive, judging me, asking why I don't just leave etc. but how many of them have gone so long without being made to feel attractive to some1, or able to express their true self. I do wonder how many women in the same permission receive the same? I thought the lifestyle was about freedom to openly explore, express, share, whatever one wants, among others that give the same freedom as well as taking it. If it was my partner on here cos I'd let myself go and would rather spend my evenings up the pub than pay her any attention, the same people would be saying it served me right, or 'go girl' "

So you believe in openess and honesty on a swingers site but not to your wife.....

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I prefer my partners to be attached - it reduces the chance of the feels creeping in. As long as they handle their business, it is precisely that - their business.

I refuse to judge someone as I can’t know their life or the reasons behind the choices they make - I haven’t walked in their shoes. If they can square it away with themselves, then that’s all that matters to me

I actually find it harder not to judge those that intentionally try to make people feel bad for the choices they make, with only limited information at their disposal. That self-righteous belief that they know better and need to belittle others in th name of education sets my teeth on edge, no matter how hard I try to take a step back and understand why they might feel that urge.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

It's easy to say when you're not in the situation. Sometimes life isn't that blabl and white. Sometimes your heart rules your head.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"It is something I have been forced to spend time thinking about and I’m not sure I’ve worked out my feelings.

V x

I'm not sure it's as black or white as we'd like it to be.....good luck with the pondering though!"

Thanks

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By *arnsley guy100Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 21/12/18 15:23:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d smash the life out of all the married ladies ... don’t give a f###

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I’d smash the life out of all the married ladies ... don’t give a f### "

I'm sure all their gussets are moist right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I actually find it harder not to judge those that intentionally try to make people feel bad for the choices they make, with only limited information at their disposal. That self-righteous belief that they know better and need to belittle others in th name of education sets my teeth on edge, no matter how hard I try to take a step back and understand why they might feel that urge."

. Exactly this

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner "

You're a couple. I assume your family doesn't know you're having sex outside of your relationship.

Hypocritical much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I actually find it harder not to judge those that intentionally try to make people feel bad for the choices they make, with only limited information at their disposal. That self-righteous belief that they know better and need to belittle others in th name of education sets my teeth on edge, no matter how hard I try to take a step back and understand why they might feel that urge.

. Exactly this "

Absolutely this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Thank you for an open mind, so many that aren't on here. I don't hide it, and understand why some don't want to get involved, but to judge someone you don't know? I could have lied and tried to hide it, or say that it's an open relationship, but I believe in openness. The term 'cheat' is banded around, but after 4 years of a sexless relationship that used to be very active, who's been cheated the most? I decided I'm not ready to give up on something so important at 45, I have received a number of messages, some abusive, judging me, asking why I don't just leave etc. but how many of them have gone so long without being made to feel attractive to some1, or able to express their true self. I do wonder how many women in the same permission receive the same? I thought the lifestyle was about freedom to openly explore, express, share, whatever one wants, among others that give the same freedom as well as taking it. If it was my partner on here cos I'd let myself go and would rather spend my evenings up the pub than pay her any attention, the same people would be saying it served me right, or 'go girl'

So you believe in openess and honesty on a swingers site but not to your wife....."

If feeling came into and it turned into an affair, I would be honest with all. As it is I am looking to replace a part that isn't even there. I let people make the choice based on full disclosure, I wasn't given the choice 4 years ago and I wouldn't want to deny any1 the choice based on a lie. It's not something I do easily, but the alternative is zero physical contact with any1, zero connection, zero affection . Some on here will understand how that feels. In an ideal world these situations wouldn't arise, but we'll never see an ideal world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

You're a couple. I assume your family doesn't know you're having sex outside of your relationship.

Hypocritical much?"

That's not the same at all, jfc.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

What is this judge Judy , it's no business but the persons playing, people life's are full of illnesses depression and lots don't enjoy sex men and women, but still want intimacy with there own rules , not for anyone to judge anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people are having affairs all over the world ,some dont even know what swinging means .......so i think its irrelevant in one sense ,but if he lied to you personally instead of being up front from the start, well......i'd probably post him his P45

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

You're a couple. I assume your family doesn't know you're having sex outside of your relationship.

Hypocritical much?"

You know what swinging is, right?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I fell hard for a fellow swinger and he felt the same. A four month relationship ensued. Then I discovered he was married, had been for 32 years. Wife hadn't a clue about me, Fab or any of it.

I told the wife and haven't heard from him since. But guess what - his profile is still active!!

That's awful and damn right bloody mean on his behalf.

Damn right. He lied about every single thing. And he is still at it!! "

Then she is choosing to ignore it, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very diverse subject as swinging predominantly couples but couples like males and females and vice versa ...honesty is key then everyone involved make informed choices

I do agree alot singles/couples here lots different reasons and requirements and most definetly lots different circumstances

One thing for sure FAB IS A SECRET WORLD ...clubs excluded as most aware

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner "

I'm not sure why I'd need to 'put my trust' in someone who I'm simply seeking to have a sexual encounter with.

My expectation for openness and honesty only extends to people who I'm invested in.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

You're a couple. I assume your family doesn't know you're having sex outside of your relationship.

Hypocritical much?

You know what swinging is, right? "

I may be wrong but I'm assuming the poster was using an example to show how openess and honesty doesn't necessarily translate to an interest in this lifestyle and family members being aware of it.

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

You're a couple. I assume your family doesn't know you're having sex outside of your relationship.

Hypocritical much?"

Our sex life has nothing to do with our family,, we are open and honest with each other and would not want anything to do with anyone who has to lie to anyone just to get sex, there is nothing hypocritical about dislikeing cheats,

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

I'm not sure why I'd need to 'put my trust' in someone who I'm simply seeking to have a sexual encounter with.

My expectation for openness and honesty only extends to people who I'm invested in."

We just don't like the thought of having sex with someone who has a wife/husband at home that has no idea what they are upto, we understand that not everyone can be as open and honest with there partners as we are with each other, this is a swinging site not a cheating site therefore we believe there is no place for it here

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Personally I am now honest in relationships having once lived a lie for a year it tore me apart, (and others) so won't do it again. However I don't judge others on how they choose to live their lives so yes would happily meet with people who were married. A few years ago ago I had a relationship with a married woman, I gave her something that she didn't get at home and it helped her bring herself to the point where she could get divorce him.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

I'm not sure why I'd need to 'put my trust' in someone who I'm simply seeking to have a sexual encounter with.

My expectation for openness and honesty only extends to people who I'm invested in.

We just don't like the thought of having sex with someone who has a wife/husband at home that has no idea what they are upto, we understand that not everyone can be as open and honest with there partners as we are with each other, this is a swinging site not a cheating site therefore we believe there is no place for it here "

Of course that's absolutely fine, but personally I can't make moral judgements about people who have the qualities I'm looking for and who excite my interest, they're in fairly short supply!

I'm here for purely selfish reasons and won't take responsibility for the consequences of someone else's behaviour, they've not become cheats because they've met me

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Not our style. Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself is how we play...

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham


"We just don't like the thought of having sex with someone who has a wife/husband at home that has no idea what they are upto, we understand that not everyone can be as open and honest with there partners as we are with each other, this is a swinging site not a cheating site therefore we believe there is no place for it here "

The only way you can be certain of this is if they tell you. Anything else is an guesswork. However, if someone does tell you, I'd feel that they felt guilty and were trying to offload the guilt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is no place for it on a swinging site, it's all about being open and honest, who can you put your trust in someone how isn't even honest with there partner

I'm not sure why I'd need to 'put my trust' in someone who I'm simply seeking to have a sexual encounter with.

My expectation for openness and honesty only extends to people who I'm invested in.

We just don't like the thought of having sex with someone who has a wife/husband at home that has no idea what they are upto, we understand that not everyone can be as open and honest with there partners as we are with each other, this is a swinging site not a cheating site therefore we believe there is no place for it here

Of course that's absolutely fine, but personally I can't make moral judgements about people who have the qualities I'm looking for and who excite my interest, they're in fairly short supply!

I'm here for purely selfish reasons and won't take responsibility for the consequences of someone else's behaviour, they've not become cheats because they've met me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

Emotions run high I’ve very hard, lust, love or fun is the question xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t judge, people have their own reasons for being here. I’ve had an affair with a married woman in the past. We had a great time, no drama, we ended it in a nice way. Would do again if I found the right person.

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By *ZcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Thetford


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

If it was my partner. He'd have no balls left. And id walk the hell away from every aspect of this life and make him live with shitty bjs and missionary for a long as fuck time.

Anything behind someones back counts as an affair. Because as soon as you feel a need to hide stuff, thats a damn affair.

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

Married status... Can't say it makes much difference to us. Single guys may well be married but it's nothing more than sex.

Not sure I could be bothered to filter out every moral/social concern before we played as its irrelevant to the purpose of why we are together for a hour or so.

Sx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over Christmas, I had a message from a guy I’d been speaking to for a short while, never met. He said he was single. Gave out his phone number.

The message was “how do you know K*****”

It was his gf

She found fab on his phone.

Thankfully she was lovely, but she had no idea what fab was. I was totally upfront with her and told her to give him hell.

My profile says no to marrieds / relationships. It’s my preference, I’ve been cheated on and will not be the whore in another woman’s eyes. If a guy has secrets, then he is not loyal. I don’t want a part of that.

And that text message I got from that poor girl is exactly why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Over Christmas, I had a message from a guy I’d been speaking to for a short while, never met. He said he was single. Gave out his phone number.

The message was “how do you know K*****”

It was his gf

She found fab on his phone.

Thankfully she was lovely, but she had no idea what fab was. I was totally upfront with her and told her to give him hell.

My profile says no to marrieds / relationships. It’s my preference, I’ve been cheated on and will not be the whore in another woman’s eyes. If a guy has secrets, then he is not loyal. I don’t want a part of that.

And that text message I got from that poor girl is exactly why."

I congratulate you for doing that. I have been cheated on. It's not nice. Cheating is wrong. There is NO excuse for it.

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By *OWERFLOWER1Couple
over a year ago

southeast essex

Completely agree and do this or try to each time! I don't wanna know everything! Just yay or nay, it is definitely down to me to know what kind maybe walking into?! x

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By *OWERFLOWER1Couple
over a year ago

southeast essex


"It all depends on what you're after:

plain fucking

ethical fucking or

fucking haven't a clue"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never sleep with someone behind a partners back. But if a woman came onto me, I wouldn't really care if she was married and I'm not even sure how I would even know.

With cheating, I find it hard to blame the single party (which is what men love to do in most situations). I've been cheated on, it sucks, but the guy involved, no fault of his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bin them, for us swinging is about trust and honesty, an cheating is breaking someones trust and dishonest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I see no reason not to meet married women if they are open about it. Men shouldn't neglect their partners, they're usually the ones fucking around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't take things further.

Affair to me implies emotional involvement that to me is more of a betrayal than physical involvement."

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I must admit I see no reason not to meet married women if they are open about it. Men shouldn't neglect their partners, they're usually the ones fucking around. "

Not always the case, just because a woman is looking for an affair doesn't mean her partner isn't doing something. He could be the world's best partner / husband.

She could just want to betray him, to experience the thrill, be rebellious, have one over on him, feel she needs external validation.

Could be lots of things.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm here for mutual pleasure, I don't relly question anyones personal morals. I do dislike hypocrites though, don't preach honesty but lie abou it. I've had very enjoyable times with people who are married in relationships but they have been honest with me about it. Usually there has been something wrong in their current relationship. I once had a meet with a couple who didn't kiss or do BB because that as that was 'special.' However a couple of days after the meet he mailed me saying could I invite him to any of my GBs, especially BB ones. I never did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having sex with someone else without your partner's agreement is cheating, romance does n't have to come into it."

So true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You click with someone on FAB. They seem decent but you find out they have a partner who doesn't know. Personally I wouldn't take things further. What are your thoughts?"

Ok ye each person here is here for whatever reason.

But I don't play with Attached Men unless I generally know that the wife/gf is aware.

But then when I was on here years ago with my ex,the amount of couples that we meet that were just fuck buddies,and both would be married to others,or one be married and the other single.

Some were great meets and others you could clearly tell that one wasn't as keen on doing it,but doing it for the sake of not losing the person. Jealousy was a big issue is some cases.

So in all honesty if I avoid it.

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