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"Out of my league"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you on that.

Only insecure people believe in leagues. And any body who believes they are better than anyone else because of they're looks or physique are the most insecure of all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fantastic to hear I'm not on my own

Absolutely agree with both comments.

Thank you for joining this topic

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue "

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Alot of people have insecurities which we have no control over. Their issue not ours. Very very hot pics OP. I bet you get the 'outta my league' comment alot.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady? "

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the ‘out of my league’ feeling quite a bit, but that’s down to a past relationship turning sour.

I tend to follow that gut feeling quite a bit aswell lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Alot of people have insecurities which we have no control over. Their issue not ours. Very very hot pics OP. I bet you get the 'outta my league' comment alot."

Thank you very much

I do occasionally and I totally cannot understand it.

Surely if this is how they feel they should find it as a complement... I know I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

There's do many let downs on here.

I wouldn't think that, most definitely he was just another knob lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "
yes but achieving out of your league as a guy here is unlikely if that's what you're alluding to, women on the other hand can by virtue of supply and demand can readily achieve it, it's the nature of the beast, I talk to all people as equals whether I could bed them is obviously another question

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it."

That's sweet. I don't see it his loss though. He clearly wasn't attracted to me . I agree with the social though. Unless someone blatantly lies about the way they look/ their age. It's common courtesy to have a coffee and at least make an excuse to leave early haha. I would have preferred for him to lie and say something had come up and he couldn't make it. I would have been a bit angry then, rather than completely mortified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/11/18 06:25:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

There's do many let downs on here.

I wouldn't think that, most definitely he was just another knob lol"

I'm sure you're right lovely. I think it was more because I was just feeling my feet on the site, so was a little nervous and a tad gullible, that it affected me the way that it did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah I totally understand that but would you turn down a lady saying she find you attractive but you'd think she's absolutely stunning like literally 10/10 ?

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

Some guys deserve every bit of karma that comes their way.

I think you look amazing and if you were local to be I’d have a permanent seat in that coffee shop just in case you popped in

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it.

That's sweet. I don't see it his loss though. He clearly wasn't attracted to me . I agree with the social though. Unless someone blatantly lies about the way they look/ their age. It's common courtesy to have a coffee and at least make an excuse to leave early haha. I would have preferred for him to lie and say something had come up and he couldn't make it. I would have been a bit angry then, rather than completely mortified "

Tbh if I was a lot closer I’d have been messaging you, I think you’re stunning

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners. "

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too "
awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking "

Very good point

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've put that I won't meet men who have veries and met stunners ....Yes I have low sometimes no confidence but I'm not going to put myself through the way me whenever I talk to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point "
ooooo I know

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know "

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14 "

Size 6? Sound like bag of bones lol

Size 12/14 any day

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14 "
who would want a woman size 6 I like meat on my woman's bones

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc."
No pic it's not true

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc."

Good point but how would you know what they're into and who they find hot?

Everyone has different preferences?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc.

Good point but how would you know what they're into and who they find hot?

Everyone has different preferences?"

That is true. I find Derren Brown hot hot! Others think I'm crazy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc.

Good point but how would you know what they're into and who they find hot?

Everyone has different preferences?"

On that sort of profile, the implication is pretty clear.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc.

Good point but how would you know what they're into and who they find hot?

Everyone has different preferences?

That is true. I find Derren Brown hot hot! Others think I'm crazy "

Great example

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. "
I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me "

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue "

I think that is far more to do with you than them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc."

Then the only barrier is your belief that you're none of those things. Everything is open to interpretation

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

I think that is far more to do with you than them"

I know that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

I think that is far more to do with you than them

I know that"

We only live once, no point dragging ourselves down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference? "
true but there's a big difference between size 10 curves to size 18...whatever

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. I don’t believe in “leagues”, I think a lot of it has to do with peoples confidence and insecurities if they believe someone is out of their “league”.

If I find someone incredibly attractive and it’s reciprocated I’m a happy girl!

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We readily admit that there are a lot of people who we think are out of our league on here so we wouldn’t feel comfortable initiating contact with them. We have surprisingly found though a few that we would term as out of our league who have expressed an interest in meeting us. We find it both flattering and confusing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I completely agree that attraction is very personal and subjective; our perception of attractive is completely different from anyone else’s, so the concept of “out of my league” is a very limiting belief.

However I will still see a profile and think “Oh my, she is simply breathtaking - how could she ever be interested in a curmudgeonly olds fart like me”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you want to know why some men think people are out of their league, you only have to look at the number of women and couples on here whose profiles demand that you only contact them if you're gorgeous/exceptional/HOTHOTOT etc etc.

Then the only barrier is your belief that you're none of those things. Everything is open to interpretation "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

I think that is far more to do with you than them

I know that

We only live once, no point dragging ourselves down "

This has actually been a bit of epiphany thread for me. Time to take some risks again, I think

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I agree. I don’t believe in “leagues”, I think a lot of it has to do with peoples confidence and insecurities if they believe someone is out of their “league”.

If I find someone incredibly attractive and it’s reciprocated I’m a happy girl! "

Brilliant approach

Agree with you 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference? true but there's a big difference between size 10 curves to size 18...whatever "

If you say so - I'm sure a lot of men would beg to differ. We are all turned on by something different and we can't all appeal to everyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference? true but there's a big difference between size 10 curves to size 18...whatever

If you say so - I'm sure a lot of men would beg to differ. We are all turned on by something different and we can't all appeal to everyone "

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales

I sometimes get the out of my league feeling, mostly because I don’t feel curvy or womanly enough. I have thought that some guys that message me would never come onto me in the real world.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I don’t believe in leagues of attractiveness, but I do think that there are some guidelines one can apply .... firstly if the profile says what sort of person they find physically attractive and that’s not me then I probably would assume I’m not their type. Age, hair and skin colour, fitness, body size and shape.......all Physical attributes that go towards what one person finds physically attractive in another One of my very favourite men in the world has the body of a god.... he’s older than me and looks simply amazing. He’s also a very very lovely man. I have a jelly bod and he fancies me thank fuck.

OP yes I would say you wouldn’t fancy me if you saw me in Waitrose in my dungarees, nothing to do with any sort of league but because I just wouldn’t be on your radar. Maybe if you saw me done up in rubber at a club I might attract attention but that’s because of the environment.

V x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I sometimes get the out of my league feeling, mostly because I don’t feel curvy or womanly enough. I have thought that some guys that message me would never come onto me in the real world. "

Well I'd ask myself are they genuine? If they seem to be then why would they message if they're not thinking you're hot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

You mean "they wouldn't be interested in me because my physical appearance is not good and theirs is?"

Well it happens but its more just down to individual personal attraction though some people like ot label everything.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I have found this thread really interesting...I have an internal league thing going on too.. perhaps I should be more bold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference? true but there's a big difference between size 10 curves to size 18...whatever "

Completely agree! I’m a size 8 but would still describe myself as curvy. Looking at the delicious OPs profile I would hesitate to message as I’m not sure I’m the right kind of curvy. It’s a superficial mindfield on here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You mean "they wouldn't be interested in me because my physical appearance is not good and theirs is?"

Well it happens but its more just down to individual personal attraction though some people like ot label everything.

"

Would you feel intimidated just because person messaging you is extremely hot?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

True but a lot of men are into curvy women so maybe that's their preference? true but there's a big difference between size 10 curves to size 18...whatever

Completely agree! I’m a size 8 but would still describe myself as curvy. Looking at the delicious OPs profile I would hesitate to message as I’m not sure I’m the right kind of curvy. It’s a superficial mindfield on here! "

Thank you

Well I'd say you only live once and if you don't ask you don't get

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By *xoticMermaidWoman
over a year ago

NORTH WEST


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

As a society these days, we are obsessed by our looks.

You only have to look at all the programmes on tv. Love island, towie, made in chelsea. I personally have never watched them but they are talked about a lot at my work place. I look at the younger generation and how they obsess about how tanned they need to be and how long their lashes are and boob jobs at 18! What the hell is that about?

Anyway, my point is I, like most people have insecurities about my body. I'm no spring chicken, and yes, my face is ageing much quicker than my body so If I get a message from a gorgeous adonis with a six pack telling me I'm hot or stunning I ask myself 'how do they know without seeing my face?'

Does that mean they are only attracted to my body?

Do looks matter?

But.... I've also had it from the other side. Guys that I've met have messaged saying that women don't want to meet them because they've met me and I'm smaller in size to them.

I do look at some profiles and think they are 'out of my league' but it doesn't stop me from communicating with them.

The bottom line is: we all have our insecurities, it's what we do about it...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x "

Hello there, long time!

So what you saying? The "league" thing is right?

Be fantastic to hear the other side to this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me "
Well you're still attractive, why wouldn't he?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I’m super attracted to a guy it knocks me off my stride and makes me act like a bit of an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a society these days, we are obsessed by our looks.

You only have to look at all the programmes on tv. Love island, towie, made in chelsea. I personally have never watched them but they are talked about a lot at my work place. I look at the younger generation and how they obsess about how tanned they need to be and how long their lashes are and boob jobs at 18! What the hell is that about?

Anyway, my point is I, like most people have insecurities about my body. I'm no spring chicken, and yes, my face is ageing much quicker than my body so If I get a message from a gorgeous adonis with a six pack telling me I'm hot or stunning I ask myself 'how do they know without seeing my face?'

Does that mean they are only attracted to my body?

Do looks matter?

But.... I've also had it from the other side. Guys that I've met have messaged saying that women don't want to meet them because they've met me and I'm smaller in size to them.

I do look at some profiles and think they are 'out of my league' but it doesn't stop me from communicating with them.

The bottom line is: we all have our insecurities, it's what we do about it...

"
and as I said earlier you as a woman have the pick of the bunch, you have a sexy body and as a couple you I would assume are only looking for one off meets, I don't Base my choices souly on looks personality is at the top but you can only gauge that in time really, so I suppose it depends how much time you're willing to put into it, I'm in no rush so for me liking the person first and fancying them are the order of my choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I’m super attracted to a guy it knocks me off my stride and makes me act like a bit of an idiot. "

Ha ha ha

I'm sure you're not on your own.

Most of us do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14

who would want a woman size 6 I like meat on my woman's bones "

As a size 8 that can squeeze into a dress size 6 I can assure you I have plenty of meat on my bones.

Almost all ifbb pro bikini athletes are size 6 and they have plenty of meat and muscle on their bones.

Guys you do know you can praise one camp and show your preference without being disrespectful to the other.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14

who would want a woman size 6 I like meat on my woman's bones

As a size 8 that can squeeze into a dress size 6 I can assure you I have plenty of meat on my bones.

Almost all ifbb pro bikini athletes are size 6 and they have plenty of meat and muscle on their bones.

Guys you do know you can praise one camp and show your preference without being disrespectful to the other. "

I'm so sorry.

I never intended to offend anyone and totally agree size means next to nothing.

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By *xoticMermaidWoman
over a year ago

NORTH WEST


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x "

No, I dont believe in leagues. My opinion is that people do feel insecure n lack confidence. However, it does exist in the real world so when we have a social in a norml environment, yes people turn up, see the other n make that decision to stay or leave. Its the polite ones who make the effort to stay even if not for them so respect to them. I work in a swingers club n this is completely opposite. No judging, no being left stranded, no timewasters n theres no issue of leagues.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14

Size 6? Sound like bag of bones lol

Size 12/14 any day "

Wow just wow! Seems some men still think slagging off one group of ladies works. News in guys - it fools no one!! Body shaming is never ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x

No, I dont believe in leagues. My opinion is that people do feel insecure n lack confidence. However, it does exist in the real world so when we have a social in a norml environment, yes people turn up, see the other n make that decision to stay or leave. Its the polite ones who make the effort to stay even if not for them so respect to them. I work in a swingers club n this is completely opposite. No judging, no being left stranded, no timewasters n theres no issue of leagues."

I think it balls down to people being little bit more blunt online then in person

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I don't believe in 'leagues'

No matter your body type, size, height etc there is someone that will find you attractive.

I get an awful lot of mail, saying stuff like "you're way out of my league but...."

I'm not, but the majority don't meet my preferences.

I'm just not intrested or attracted someone 5/6" shorter than me or a certain body type.

Trying to send a polite reply to a well written message without sounding pretentious, or offending someone isn't easy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x

No, I dont believe in leagues. My opinion is that people do feel insecure n lack confidence. However, it does exist in the real world so when we have a social in a norml environment, yes people turn up, see the other n make that decision to stay or leave. Its the polite ones who make the effort to stay even if not for them so respect to them. I work in a swingers club n this is completely opposite. No judging, no being left stranded, no timewasters n theres no issue of leagues.

I think it balls down to people being little bit more blunt online then in person "
do you boil your balls?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14

Size 6? Sound like bag of bones lol

Size 12/14 any day

Wow just wow! Seems some men still think slagging off one group of ladies works. News in guys - it fools no one!! Body shaming is never ok. "

As I said previously, I have no intentions of insulting anyone.

This comment was wrong and I did apologise for it and will apologise again.

Sorry if my comment offended anybody.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x

No, I dont believe in leagues. My opinion is that people do feel insecure n lack confidence. However, it does exist in the real world so when we have a social in a norml environment, yes people turn up, see the other n make that decision to stay or leave. Its the polite ones who make the effort to stay even if not for them so respect to them. I work in a swingers club n this is completely opposite. No judging, no being left stranded, no timewasters n theres no issue of leagues.

I think it balls down to people being little bit more blunt online then in person do you boil your balls? "

Lol

Do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I see a really hot woman who is far better looking than I am normally successful with I do think I wouldn’t be her type not (good looking enough)

I have other more attractive qualities which might just get her attention if she saw past physical looks alone

So as,”fortune favours the bold” I will give it a shot if I am feeling confident that I might have a slim chance of success

At the end of the day what’s the worst that can happen they say, “not interested” or snub you

If they snub me I actually feel they wouldn’t be for me anyway because I wouldn’t be interested in someone rude and arrogant

I would trade in a model with a bad personality for a plain looking lady with a stunning personality any day of the week

TBH though I do think she is probably out of my league because that’s the common term so I think in a way leagues exist for me as well

And that guy who left that poor lady waiting and didn’t have the decency to stop chat and be honest and say I don’t think it’s going to work out but thanks for coming is an arse beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside you had a lucky escape

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't believe in 'leagues'

No matter your body type, size, height etc there is someone that will find you attractive.

I get an awful lot of mail, saying stuff like "you're way out of my league but...."

I'm not, but the majority don't meet my preferences.

I'm just not intrested or attracted someone 5/6" shorter than me or a certain body type.

Trying to send a polite reply to a well written message without sounding pretentious, or offending someone isn't easy.

"

Very true but on the other hand when I message someone I have no expectations. It's how ppl take rejection. I believe I can't be everyone's cup of tea so if they're not into me polite "happy swinging" and move on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure league is the right word but I'm sure that everyone has looked at someone during their life and thought he/she wouldn't fancy me! It's more about whether you risk finding out really and that can actually depend a lot on your past experiences and how you take things personally.

I looked at the op's profile and thought I'm definitely not his type before I even thought is he my type? Is that a lack of confidence? Not really but I believe it might have more to do with conditioning ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People might look at me and think I'm out of their league but its not something I ever find myself thinking, I don't hold anybody up that high.

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By *adame1981Woman
over a year ago

Leicester

OP I'd like to be in a league with you ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP I'd like to be in a league with you ha ha "

Ha ha

Thank you.

I believe we're all in the same league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it’s the nature of the beast here, the ratio of woman to men here is why woman can afford to be picky, some guys get offended by it or shitty if the woman doesn’t reply but most women I imagine get 50-60 messages per day at least and they can’t reply to them all

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

There are no leagues only in your own mind ...and if you don’t ask you will never knows

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess it’s the nature of the beast here, the ratio of woman to men here is why woman can afford to be picky, some guys get offended by it or shitty if the woman doesn’t reply but most women I imagine get 50-60 messages per day at least and they can’t reply to them all "

I can see your point although mutual respect and manners cost nothing.

I'm referring here to blokes that can't take rejection and make rude comments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There are no leagues only in your own mind ...and if you don’t ask you will never knows "

Agree with you 100%

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire


"There are no leagues only in your own mind ...and if you don’t ask you will never knows

Agree with you 100% "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You're definitely 'IN' my league Dan! Hey stranger lol x

No, I dont believe in leagues. My opinion is that people do feel insecure n lack confidence. However, it does exist in the real world so when we have a social in a norml environment, yes people turn up, see the other n make that decision to stay or leave. Its the polite ones who make the effort to stay even if not for them so respect to them. I work in a swingers club n this is completely opposite. No judging, no being left stranded, no timewasters n theres no issue of leagues.

I think it balls down to people being little bit more blunt online then in person do you boil your balls?

Lol

Do you? "
not yet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners do cost nothing OP unfortunately there are a few rude people on here, i can’t be anyone’s type lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

My thoughts when I checked out your profile were....Are you trying to give an old lady a heart attack at this time of the morning! Great pictures

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"I don't believe in 'leagues'

No matter your body type, size, height etc there is someone that will find you attractive.

I get an awful lot of mail, saying stuff like "you're way out of my league but...."

I'm not, but the majority don't meet my preferences.

I'm just not intrested or attracted someone 5/6" shorter than me or a certain body type.

Trying to send a polite reply to a well written message without sounding pretentious, or offending someone isn't easy.

Very true but on the other hand when I message someone I have no expectations. It's how ppl take rejection. I believe I can't be everyone's cup of tea so if they're not into me polite "happy swinging" and move on."

That's the problem.

Previously I would reply to any polite message.

But a lot can't take a polite rejection. Take it personally, often replied with something sarcastic, I've been accused of, thinking I'm too good, up my own arse, a time waster & a fake, all because I said no.

So these days I'm reluctant to even send a reply.

Which brings us back to 'leagues' not getting a reply, just a delete.

Senders still end up annoyed, assume their initial message of "youre out my league" is correct & I think I'm something I'm not.

Can't win.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Manners do cost nothing OP unfortunately there are a few rude people on here, i can’t be anyone’s type lol"

Exactly!

Nobody can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on."

Brilliant comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on."

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always feel people are out of my league but I know its because I’m insecure about my size, forever on a diet!!! Then having a biscuit with my cuppa, self control not my strong point

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork


"I always feel people are out of my league but I know its because I’m insecure about my size, forever on a diet!!! Then having a biscuit with my cuppa, self control not my strong point "

Come and meet us then and we can share some cake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always feel people are out of my league but I know its because I’m insecure about my size, forever on a diet!!! Then having a biscuit with my cuppa, self control not my strong point

Come and meet us then and we can share some cake. "

Only if there’s frosting on the cake lol!!! Dam literally no self control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not. "

Perhaps I've got it wrong, but I thought the op mentioned looks and personality?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not.

Perhaps I've got it wrong, but I thought the op mentioned looks and personality?"

Technically it's open to interpretation. But far as this site goes looks seem to be more important. Personality seem to be far more important in person for example in the clubs.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. "
absolutely agree - chemistry and erotic appeal can be so much more than just looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not.

Perhaps I've got it wrong, but I thought the op mentioned looks and personality?

Technically it's open to interpretation. But far as this site goes looks seem to be more important. Personality seem to be far more important in person for example in the clubs."

Couldn't agree more. Reading this thread through, it shows how everyone is fixated on looks, though, very little mention of personality. A sign of the times perhaps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not.

Perhaps I've got it wrong, but I thought the op mentioned looks and personality?

Technically it's open to interpretation. But far as this site goes looks seem to be more important. Personality seem to be far more important in person for example in the clubs."

Hardly. Personality is irrelevant when everyone refuses to speak to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've always thought I've been in a league of my own anyway. So therefore everyone is out of my league.

There is no such thing as being out of your league. I've met some extremely stunning ladies because we've 'clicked'. Did I think I was lucky? Yes, but then I always think I'm lucky to be invited to share someone's sex life, anyway. I've said before, it's not all about looks anyway, intellectually, then yes there are probably times when I'm not on the same playing field. But I find intelligence a massive turn on.

Intellectually then yes totally agree (that would be a whole new thread) ... but this post is about physically so I believe not.

Perhaps I've got it wrong, but I thought the op mentioned looks and personality?

Technically it's open to interpretation. But far as this site goes looks seem to be more important. Personality seem to be far more important in person for example in the clubs.

Couldn't agree more. Reading this thread through, it shows how everyone is fixated on looks, though, very little mention of personality. A sign of the times perhaps."

I generally think people tend to be more blunt online and not really giving much of a chance to get to know the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You mean "they wouldn't be interested in me because my physical appearance is not good and theirs is?"

Well it happens but its more just down to individual personal attraction though some people like ot label everything.

Would you feel intimidated just because person messaging you is extremely hot?"

I have this at the moment, been exchanging messages with an extremely hot woman, been sent face pics, chatted about meets, she said personality above looks matters and she likes me.

But I still can’t help feel She’s out of my league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what, I have mixed feelings on this. Because my ego would like to believe no one is out of my league.

But I know that’s not true. It’s been proven in studies again and again that people have sex and relationships with others that are of the same level of physical attractiveness.

And when I think about it, it’s obviously true. Because there’s no way I’m having sex with Susan Boyle any time soon. So of course there’s leagues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You mean "they wouldn't be interested in me because my physical appearance is not good and theirs is?"

Well it happens but its more just down to individual personal attraction though some people like ot label everything.

Would you feel intimidated just because person messaging you is extremely hot?

I have this at the moment, been exchanging messages with an extremely hot woman, been sent face pics, chatted about meets, she said personality above looks matters and she likes me.

But I still can’t help feel She’s out of my league "

By thinking that though it will show in how you react to her ... why not enjoy the experience and roll with it instead of worrying? Might be more fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

You mean "they wouldn't be interested in me because my physical appearance is not good and theirs is?"

Well it happens but its more just down to individual personal attraction though some people like ot label everything.

Would you feel intimidated just because person messaging you is extremely hot?

I have this at the moment, been exchanging messages with an extremely hot woman, been sent face pics, chatted about meets, she said personality above looks matters and she likes me.

But I still can’t help feel She’s out of my league

By thinking that though it will show in how you react to her ... why not enjoy the experience and roll with it instead of worrying? Might be more fun "

Exactly! Totally agree

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue "

This is me. And there have been a couple of occasions when I’ve been meeting someone and it’s all good - lots of meets, lots of chat and then all of a sudden it drops off, and it’s been because they’ve met someone thinner/bigger boobs/whatever, and it’s made me feel like I’m only good enough to pass the time until someone hotter comes alone.

I know it’s what happens and I’m not foolish enough to think that Fab friends don’t have other Fab friends that they see, but it can feel a bit of a blow when it happens overnight and you get friendzoned after being told for weeks how amazing you are..!

I’m fairly body conscious and it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with someone so it does smart a bit when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

This is me. And there have been a couple of occasions when I’ve been meeting someone and it’s all good - lots of meets, lots of chat and then all of a sudden it drops off, and it’s been because they’ve met someone thinner/bigger boobs/whatever, and it’s made me feel like I’m only good enough to pass the time until someone hotter comes alone.

I know it’s what happens and I’m not foolish enough to think that Fab friends don’t have other Fab friends that they see, but it can feel a bit of a blow when it happens overnight and you get friendzoned after being told for weeks how amazing you are..!

I’m fairly body conscious and it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with someone so it does smart a bit when it happens. "

This must of happened to all of us at some point, I'd put it down as their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me "

I agree and this affects my responses too

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

This is me. And there have been a couple of occasions when I’ve been meeting someone and it’s all good - lots of meets, lots of chat and then all of a sudden it drops off, and it’s been because they’ve met someone thinner/bigger boobs/whatever, and it’s made me feel like I’m only good enough to pass the time until someone hotter comes alone.

I know it’s what happens and I’m not foolish enough to think that Fab friends don’t have other Fab friends that they see, but it can feel a bit of a blow when it happens overnight and you get friendzoned after being told for weeks how amazing you are..!

I’m fairly body conscious and it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with someone so it does smart a bit when it happens.

This must of happened to all of us at some point, I'd put it down as their loss"

It will feel like that in time I’m sure, right now it’s feeling very much like it’s my loss! But you know, if anyone would like to comfort me....

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby


"Completely agree with both the above comments. There is no rhyme or reason to attraction. I agree to a point but if they have a load of size 10 or less and I'm a size 18 I'm going to think why the hell would he want to meet me

I agree and this affects my responses too "

Oh and absolutely this as well!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

Couldn't agree more: have always found that saying odd.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't tend to put people in leagues. It is a bit insulting if someone contacts you who feels many people are out of their league though. The implication being that you're not one of the really good looking ones so are more likely to agree to meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

That's awful! He sounds like a pig with less manners.

I would have even be willing to pay for the coffee too awwww hey maybe you were too good looking

Very good point ooooo I know

Hahahaha highly unlikely. The women he met were about a size 6

I was a 12/14 "

Yikes 12/14 wish I was! (even 5 year ago)

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not. "
Of course they do Money an status can influence leagues. Also for NSA sex though it can be like a FA cup tie between Man city & Salford. This is distorting peoples opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing about this place from a guys perspective anyway it really is pointless attempting to contact some of the stunning women on here even if you are a really good looking guy with a great profile and a good personality, reason being it's nigh on impossible to communicate with them, I myself lose interest if my interest isn't reciprocated even if I've had messages and positive feedback from that woman, it's all about communication for me, so percentage wise why even attempt to go there, I've tried but common sense prevails

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm with you on that.

Only insecure people believe in leagues. And any body who believes they are better than anyone else because of they're looks or physique are the most insecure of all. "

Plenty of insecure people on here then. The Adonis and Aphrodite types must surely be the worst.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not. "

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides."
Your Mrs looks slim and universally attractive though OP

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides."

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

"

Not at all, but I'm sure there would be all kind of people finding one or the other attractive. What I'm saying is there's no rule on who's attacted to one or the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing about this place from a guys perspective anyway it really is pointless attempting to contact some of the stunning women on here even if you are a really good looking guy with a great profile and a good personality, reason being it's nigh on impossible to communicate with them, I myself lose interest if my interest isn't reciprocated even if I've had messages and positive feedback from that woman, it's all about communication for me, so percentage wise why even attempt to go there, I've tried but common sense prevails "

Yep two people have to want the same, for it to work....

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

Not at all, but I'm sure there would be all kind of people finding one or the other attractive. What I'm saying is there's no rule on who's attacted to one or the other."

There is probability though

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing about this place from a guys perspective anyway it really is pointless attempting to contact some of the stunning women on here even if you are a really good looking guy with a great profile and a good personality, reason being it's nigh on impossible to communicate with them, I myself lose interest if my interest isn't reciprocated even if I've had messages and positive feedback from that woman, it's all about communication for me, so percentage wise why even attempt to go there, I've tried but common sense prevails

Yep two people have to want the same, for it to work....

"
exactly and the woman herself may be interested but just doesn't have the ability to keep up with the volume of messages and the amount of guys she herself is interested in

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's a difference between putting yourself and other people in to leagues and being realistic. There's also little point in feeling that you're worth less to yourself because of how someone else looks.

I'm damn sure that very good looking men in their mid thirties aren't going to want to meet me for sex and I've never made it to the top one hundred best looking women in the world. I'm not going to let it affect how I think of myself though. I don't think it's their loss either.

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

"

Maybe you are both right.

For the sake of the argument maybe there are 10% of people who are exceptionally, objectively, unquestionably attractive or unattractive. Within those groups it probably won’t be too random.

And then there are the other 80% of us in the middle. And within that 80% it very much becomes more subjective, and about all sorts of things that any given person just happens to find attractive in someone else. In this group however it probably will be more random.

At the end of the day most of us are reasonably attractive, by design, otherwise we wouldn’t hook up and the whole thing wouldn’t work.

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type. "

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

He must’ve been blind. Your gorgeous. He must’ve been looking for a stick! You’ve a great figure and definitely didn’t deserve to be treated like that. How can you tell if you click or not if you don’t meet? He lost out big time.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I’ve clicked with people that their profile pics definitely don’t do them justice. Tall, short, slim, ample!

You just never know when you’ll meet that person who pushes your buttons in all the right places.

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

Most are out of my league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's load of women on here I'm massively attracted too but I know they're way out of my league so I'll never message them....but I suppose everyone is into different body types, personalities etc so you never know you maybe there type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting topic. I would look at the OP and think way out of my league. I have guys message that I think phwoooaar but am hesitant to reply to as I think that too.

I have met some well fit guys that personality wise, on meeting were like a wet weekend and I was totally put off so looks are defo not everything for me.

There has to be initial attraction but its the whole package that attracts at the end of the day for me, even though it is just a physical thing. I have to be able to get on with and click with someone to have naughty fun.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages "

The first thing I thought was he couldn’t cope with a curvier lady as he would need more length to satisfy hence sticking to types he could cope with, and what nature gave him (or not )

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it.

That's sweet. I don't see it his loss though. He clearly wasn't attracted to me . I agree with the social though. Unless someone blatantly lies about the way they look/ their age. It's common courtesy to have a coffee and at least make an excuse to leave early haha. I would have preferred for him to lie and say something had come up and he couldn't make it. I would have been a bit angry then, rather than completely mortified "

That is completely shit - even if the person has lied it’s pretty harsh to catfish them like that. You swerved a bullet by the sounds of things.

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By *urved HunnyWoman
over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 12/11/18 12:34:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems here are many different answers to this ...

Imo physicality shouldn't have leagues it's more about preferences and how you feel about yourself, intelligence then there seem to be leagues or levels whereas on an emotive level then there are tolerances which could seem like leagues to the bystander

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are leagues though. Like I wouldn’t go with a guy that was unattractive no matter how brilliant his personality was, I just couldn’t do it.

Only once have I ever been completely intimidated by a guy because of his looks but he was insanely handsome, still fucked for a few months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 8 years I've been on and off of here and swinging has made me far more confident and I would approach what I considered to be a fit guy, even if it was a message just to say great body or similar compliment. Its nice to be nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The 8 years I've been on and off of here and swinging has made me far more confident and I would approach what I considered to be a fit guy, even if it was a message just to say great body or similar compliment. Its nice to be nice "
I agree sometimes you get a message just for that reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The 8 years I've been on and off of here and swinging has made me far more confident and I would approach what I considered to be a fit guy, even if it was a message just to say great body or similar compliment. Its nice to be nice I agree sometimes you get a message just for that reason "

Indeed, in fact I have done exactly this with the OP years ago on my old profile and he was kind enough to reply with a thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People do have a type but what I’ve leaned it doesn’t mean your sexually compatible I’ve had some amazing sex over years with woman I would put as my type

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up."

A mirror tells you nothing. Some of the most beautiful people have self esteem issue and believe they are ugly.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

Maybe you are both right.

For the sake of the argument maybe there are 10% of people who are exceptionally, objectively, unquestionably attractive or unattractive. Within those groups it probably won’t be too random.

And then there are the other 80% of us in the middle. And within that 80% it very much becomes more subjective, and about all sorts of things that any given person just happens to find attractive in someone else. In this group however it probably will be more random.

At the end of the day most of us are reasonably attractive, by design, otherwise we wouldn’t hook up and the whole thing wouldn’t work."

I really don't think it's hard to define. We know that attractiveness is linked to things like facial symmetry, hip to waist ratios and shoulder width. Psychologically people have types that they like. But it's a big mistake to conflate the two. Personally i don't like tattooed Goths. But it's nonsense for me to say that a tattooed goths isn't attractive just because i don't fancy her. If she's got the symmetrical face, the hip to waist ratio and high cheek bones then she is attractive, whether she is my type of not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up.

A mirror tells you nothing. Some of the most beautiful people have self esteem issue and believe they are ugly. "

Have also.found that to be true

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"There are leagues though. Like I wouldn’t go with a guy that was unattractive no matter how brilliant his personality was, I just couldn’t do it.

Only once have I ever been completely intimidated by a guy because of his looks but he was insanely handsome, still fucked for a few months. "

Yes, and no. That isn’t necessarily to do with leagues though. That’s just you not fancying someone.

Someone else, broadly as attractive as you might be, may well fancy people you do, and vice versa.

All of this is quite interesting though. Generally, we all view ourselves as less attractive than others see us.

There was an experiment about this on TV recently. They got a bunch of people together and let them mingle for an hour or so.

Then they all had pics taken of their faces. And each was digitally enhanced so they had the original, 2 versions to look less attractive, and two to look more attractive.

Then everyone was asked to say which version was the real version of everyone.

In almost every case other people picked one of the more attractive versions, and people tended to pick the less attractive versions of themselves.

So the moral, of there is one, might be that it there are leagues, a lot of us might actually be in a league higher than the one we might think we are.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Why do people have such an issue with making a statement like "anna kournikova is out of my league"? I don't, it's just a statement of fact. I'm not ugly but i simply wasn't born with the qualities that make me anywhere near attractive to match with her. It is what it is. Why pretend otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The 8 years I've been on and off of here and swinging has made me far more confident and I would approach what I considered to be a fit guy, even if it was a message just to say great body or similar compliment. Its nice to be nice I agree sometimes you get a message just for that reason

Indeed, in fact I have done exactly this with the OP years ago on my old profile and he was kind enough to reply with a thank you "

I totally agree it's nice to be nice and complement someone even if you 100s miles away and never ever going to meet.

Owh did you? Thank you again and what a memory...wow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The 8 years I've been on and off of here and swinging has made me far more confident and I would approach what I considered to be a fit guy, even if it was a message just to say great body or similar compliment. Its nice to be nice I agree sometimes you get a message just for that reason

Indeed, in fact I have done exactly this with the OP years ago on my old profile and he was kind enough to reply with a thank you

I totally agree it's nice to be nice and complement someone even if you 100s miles away and never ever going to meet.

Owh did you? Thank you again and what a memory...wow!

"

I'm never going to forget that body, you come with operating instructions on your side as well haha

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

Maybe you are both right.

For the sake of the argument maybe there are 10% of people who are exceptionally, objectively, unquestionably attractive or unattractive. Within those groups it probably won’t be too random.

And then there are the other 80% of us in the middle. And within that 80% it very much becomes more subjective, and about all sorts of things that any given person just happens to find attractive in someone else. In this group however it probably will be more random.

At the end of the day most of us are reasonably attractive, by design, otherwise we wouldn’t hook up and the whole thing wouldn’t work.

I really don't think it's hard to define. We know that attractiveness is linked to things like facial symmetry, hip to waist ratios and shoulder width. Psychologically people have types that they like. But it's a big mistake to conflate the two. Personally i don't like tattooed Goths. But it's nonsense for me to say that a tattooed goths isn't attractive just because i don't fancy her. If she's got the symmetrical face, the hip to waist ratio and high cheek bones then she is attractive, whether she is my type of not. "

Sure. But the group of people that most people are attracted to is not limited to people with perfectly symmetrical features or the golden ratio or the highest cheekbones.

There may be some correlation between ‘leagues’, but if it was a Venn Daigram there would be a lot of overlapping circles.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Why do people have such an issue with making a statement like "anna kournikova is out of my league"? I don't, it's just a statement of fact. I'm not ugly but i simply wasn't born with the qualities that make me anywhere near attractive to match with her. It is what it is. Why pretend otherwise. "

Because there is an element of truth in the argument that attraction is subjective. There will be some people who find Diane A more attractive than Anna K. Not many, but some.

Hence the statement "Anna K is more attractive than Diane A" is not objectively and universally true in the same sense as the statement "elephants are bigger than mice".

What is accurate is the statement that " in the UK in 2018 more people find Anna K more attractive than Diane A". A statement about majority subjective opinion in a particular time and effort place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do people have such an issue with making a statement like "anna kournikova is out of my league"? I don't, it's just a statement of fact. I'm not ugly but i simply wasn't born with the qualities that make me anywhere near attractive to match with her. It is what it is. Why pretend otherwise. "

Because I'd rather say I'm not her type for sure and she's not mine either which to me indicates there's no league's but personal preferences.

I think categorizing people and placing them into some leagues... not to cause any controversy I'm going to say it's not great in my personal opinion.

I'm not trying to changethe the world or convince anybody that I'm right and they're wrong. This is the crucial point of any discussion to hear different outlook on the same topic.

I think everyone who got involved in this conversation is right because there's no wrong everyone's entitled to their personal opinion and preferences.

Thank you everyone for comments!

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By *woPlusMore69Couple
over a year ago

Birstall


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

Think it's a confidence thing , I'm a wobbly tummy big girl so do feel I would turn guys off when meeting so would avoid the disappointment of rejection, unless we have built up a rapport and exchanged pictures properly. I did tell guys of the wobbly overhang lol

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Why do people have such an issue with making a statement like "anna kournikova is out of my league"? I don't, it's just a statement of fact. I'm not ugly but i simply wasn't born with the qualities that make me anywhere near attractive to match with her. It is what it is. Why pretend otherwise.

Because there is an element of truth in the argument that attraction is subjective. There will be some people who find Diane A more attractive than Anna K. Not many, but some.

Hence the statement "Anna K is more attractive than Diane A" is not objectively and universally true in the same sense as the statement "elephants are bigger than mice".

What is accurate is the statement that " in the UK in 2018 more people find Anna K more attractive than Diane A". A statement about majority subjective opinion in a particular time and effort place. "

Exceptions don't prove the rule though. It really seems on this thread and the HIV one, that people just don't understand probability. We know that 100% of people can't agree on the colour of shite. So when someone makes a statement that is very true but not a law of nature, the sensible thing is to ask the standard deviation and not to point out the one delusional person who thinks Jeremy Corbyn could get a date with anna kournikova.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

Maybe you are both right.

For the sake of the argument maybe there are 10% of people who are exceptionally, objectively, unquestionably attractive or unattractive. Within those groups it probably won’t be too random.

And then there are the other 80% of us in the middle. And within that 80% it very much becomes more subjective, and about all sorts of things that any given person just happens to find attractive in someone else. In this group however it probably will be more random.

At the end of the day most of us are reasonably attractive, by design, otherwise we wouldn’t hook up and the whole thing wouldn’t work.

I really don't think it's hard to define. We know that attractiveness is linked to things like facial symmetry, hip to waist ratios and shoulder width. Psychologically people have types that they like. But it's a big mistake to conflate the two. Personally i don't like tattooed Goths. But it's nonsense for me to say that a tattooed goths isn't attractive just because i don't fancy her. If she's got the symmetrical face, the hip to waist ratio and high cheek bones then she is attractive, whether she is my type of not.

Sure. But the group of people that most people are attracted to is not limited to people with perfectly symmetrical features or the golden ratio or the highest cheekbones.

There may be some correlation between ‘leagues’, but if it was a Venn Daigram there would be a lot of overlapping circles."

The reality is that most of us are self aware enough to match ourselves with someone of roughly equal attractiveness. Some people then engage a sour grapes fantasy that they don't want someone with more facial symmetry or higher cheek bones. Personally I'm cool with the fact that anna kournikova is out of my league.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Attraction & chemisty is where it starts not just looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hubby has used the phrase “batting above his average’ since we got together...truth is we only see what’s in the mirror. I know he could do better and he thinks I could. That keeps us “trying” for each other

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"You really have to be delusional to think that attractiveness is random, that there's no consensus on what is or isn't attractive. That or really bad at maths. Leagues aren't like the tooth fairy, they exist whether you want to believe in them or not.

I don't think I am, I haven't really got a type and find totally different people attractive.

I completely respect your point of view but can't agree with you.

Thanks for your comment, always good to hear both sides.

So just out of interest, if we picked a picture of anna kournikova off the interweb and asked 10,000 people to rate her attractiveness, then your hypothesis is that the results would be random. As many people would rate her 4/10 attractive as would 8/10? Then if we did the same with a picture of Diane Abbott, we'd get as many people rating Diane 10/10 as we would anna kournikova?

Maybe you are both right.

For the sake of the argument maybe there are 10% of people who are exceptionally, objectively, unquestionably attractive or unattractive. Within those groups it probably won’t be too random.

And then there are the other 80% of us in the middle. And within that 80% it very much becomes more subjective, and about all sorts of things that any given person just happens to find attractive in someone else. In this group however it probably will be more random.

At the end of the day most of us are reasonably attractive, by design, otherwise we wouldn’t hook up and the whole thing wouldn’t work.

I really don't think it's hard to define. We know that attractiveness is linked to things like facial symmetry, hip to waist ratios and shoulder width. Psychologically people have types that they like. But it's a big mistake to conflate the two. Personally i don't like tattooed Goths. But it's nonsense for me to say that a tattooed goths isn't attractive just because i don't fancy her. If she's got the symmetrical face, the hip to waist ratio and high cheek bones then she is attractive, whether she is my type of not.

Sure. But the group of people that most people are attracted to is not limited to people with perfectly symmetrical features or the golden ratio or the highest cheekbones.

There may be some correlation between ‘leagues’, but if it was a Venn Daigram there would be a lot of overlapping circles.

The reality is that most of us are self aware enough to match ourselves with someone of roughly equal attractiveness. Some people then engage a sour grapes fantasy that they don't want someone with more facial symmetry or higher cheek bones. Personally I'm cool with the fact that anna kournikova is out of my league. "

You keep mentioning Anna. Arguably she might be on the notional group that is clearly, objectively attractive to most people.

As for our self awareness, maybe, maybe not. If most of us view ourselves as less attractive compared to how others view ourselves, as born out by the sort of experiment I mentioned above, then arguably that self awareness isn’t all that.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire


"As a society these days, we are obsessed by our looks.

You only have to look at all the programmes on tv. Love island, towie, made in chelsea. I personally have never watched them but they are talked about a lot at my work place. I look at the younger generation and how they obsess about how tanned they need to be and how long their lashes are and boob jobs at 18! What the hell is that about?

Anyway, my point is I, like most people have insecurities about my body. I'm no spring chicken, and yes, my face is ageing much quicker than my body so If I get a message from a gorgeous adonis with a six pack telling me I'm hot or stunning I ask myself 'how do they know without seeing my face?'

Does that mean they are only attracted to my body?

Do looks matter?

But.... I've also had it from the other side. Guys that I've met have messaged saying that women don't want to meet them because they've met me and I'm smaller in size to them.

I do look at some profiles and think they are 'out of my league' but it doesn't stop me from communicating with them.

The bottom line is: we all have our insecurities, it's what we do about it...

and as I said earlier you as a woman have the pick of the bunch, you have a sexy body and as a couple you I would assume are only looking for one off meets, I don't Base my choices souly on looks personality is at the top but you can only gauge that in time really, so I suppose it depends how much time you're willing to put into it, I'm in no rush so for me liking the person first and fancying them are the order of my choice "

We are not looking for one off meets. We prefer a few regular playmates.

You're right when you say personality comes before looks. Which is why I like to chat back and forth to get a feel for a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

If you are talking about purely looks only then yes, such things as different leagues certainly DO exist.

Then again, attractiveness and chemistry between two people really is more than just looks. You could look like a Victoria's Secret model and yet have the worst personality ever imaginable and it would still put any but the shallowest of people off anything more than ogling at your from a distance.

The problem with Fab and online dating/swinger/sex sites in general is that it is so looks-oriented. Hence why this feeling of being "out of someone's league" has such an amplified effect in affecting who and how we interact with online here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up."

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

If that were true Op, on this site i'd be playing not only out my league or an away game but outa my cosmos -so far out the ball park that we are talking lightyears.

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By *anetandNickCouple
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

Well, about 10 years ago we were sitting in the bar at a club, when a very very good-looking couple came in. We were whispering to each other about how much we fancied them, but they were so attractive, probably out of our league.

Five minutes later, we were having sex with them, still in the bar.

They are now our best friends, we even go on holiday together.

Janet xxxxxx

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

Its a little like the profiles that say "attractive people only". How on earth does anyone else know what is attractive to that person! Though I'm guessing they are looking for the Brad Pitt type.

Most people have a mirror and know how attractive or not ok some people are deluded but the fact some people put im no oil painting or no Brad Pitt on their profiles backs this up.

A mirror tells you nothing. Some of the most beautiful people have self esteem issue and believe they are ugly.

Have also.found that to be true "

But a mirror can tell you if you're attractive on the outside, but it can't tell you if you're ugly as sin on the inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He must be mad .Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP. I don't believe anyone to be 'out of my league'.

If you like someone, the only thing that really matters is if the feeling is reciprocated.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I agree OP. I don't believe anyone to be 'out of my league'.

If you like someone, the only thing that really matters is if the feeling is reciprocated."

Anna Kournikova is out of your league pal

#justsaying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan "

Does this mean you’re not out of y league?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue "

this is so true im a black guy but not the stereo typical black guy most people are after from this site so this knocks my confidence alot and there are a lot of good looking people who i dont message because of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering if it's just me but I don't believe in something called "out of my league".

People are attracted to various things, looks and personality.

What are your thoughts?

Dan

If you are talking about purely looks only then yes, such things as different leagues certainly DO exist.

Then again, attractiveness and chemistry between two people really is more than just looks. You could look like a Victoria's Secret model and yet have the worst personality ever imaginable and it would still put any but the shallowest of people off anything more than ogling at your from a distance.

The problem with Fab and online dating/swinger/sex sites in general is that it is so looks-oriented. Hence why this feeling of being "out of someone's league" has such an amplified effect in affecting who and how we interact with online here. "

this is a societal problem we have been conditioned to take everything at face value whether thats looks, success or status rather than give people a chance

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Not necessarily leagues as such but there are reasonable expectations.

I'm not talking just in terms of looks but although all people are created somewhat equal our choices separate us. For example to take 2 extremes;

Person A: no pride in their appearance, no motivation,no job, has no hobbies or interests and no sense of humor.

Person B: takes pride in their appearance, earns things for themselves, has interests, is kind and passionate about things, all round good egg with a brilliant sense of humor.

It isn't reasonable for person A to expect to find someone like person B. Person A could get their shit together and achieve being or being with person B but as it stands I'd say person B deserves better and therefore is probably out of their reach.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I don't believe in leagues.. we're all unique individuals some folk will find my uniqueness attractive others won't. I'm old enough to accept this.

Those that say ladies have the pick of the bunch..annoys me no end..

**news flash** everyone has or have the same choices.

Yes please or no thanks.. it's a two way street no one is obliged.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I don't believe in leagues.. we're all unique individuals some folk will find my uniqueness attractive others won't. I'm old enough to accept this.

Those that say ladies have the pick of the bunch..annoys me no end..

**news flash** everyone has or have the same choices.

Yes please or no thanks.. it's a two way street no one is obliged. "

Leagues are about choices. It's like football. Ronaldo could choose virtually any club in the world to play for. Accrington Stanley's reserve left back has a rather more restricted choice who he plays for.

Ditto, women on here have the pick of hot men. Vice versa doesn't apply.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it.

That's sweet. I don't see it his loss though. He clearly wasn't attracted to me . I agree with the social though. Unless someone blatantly lies about the way they look/ their age. It's common courtesy to have a coffee and at least make an excuse to leave early haha. I would have preferred for him to lie and say something had come up and he couldn't make it. I would have been a bit angry then, rather than completely mortified "

I had a guy escape out the toilet window once....well I think that's were he went or down the toilet who knows..vanished just liked that. It was a date in a pub one evening from a dating site. I went outside and laughed with myself as I was Billy no mates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do get what you are saying OP. But if i do see someone who is extremely hot and very fit, I do get that niggle that I would not be their type, so wouldn't engage... in that respect, maybe I do feel that their type is a bit out of my league. I don't like that I think like that. Perhaps it's a confidence issue

But if they contacted you and find you attractive and you find them attractive too what's the issue?

You don't believe they see you as a hot sexy lady?

I've had someone beg me for a meet. He had only lovely very slim women on his veris. I'm chunkier. I was very hesitant, but he convinced me he liked different shapes. I turned up.at the coffee shop. Time passed and I was still waiting. I eventually messaged him and he said he saw me then left. That I wasn't his type after all. That was 5 years ago and it still haunts me haha. So I don't trust someone thinking they find me attractive via messages

I’m sorry but his loss!! , at least go through with the meet and if it’s not what you want block them after it.

That's sweet. I don't see it his loss though. He clearly wasn't attracted to me . I agree with the social though. Unless someone blatantly lies about the way they look/ their age. It's common courtesy to have a coffee and at least make an excuse to leave early haha. I would have preferred for him to lie and say something had come up and he couldn't make it. I would have been a bit angry then, rather than completely mortified

I had a guy escape out the toilet window once....well I think that's were he went or down the toilet who knows..vanished just liked that. It was a date in a pub one evening from a dating site. I went outside and laughed with myself as I was Billy no mates. "
really God, maybe he was intimidated?

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