FabSwingers.com forum: How to approach the subject of swinger with a new partner?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So honesty is everything to me even if it means losing whats important. Ladies may i ask, what is the best way to suggest swinging to a new partner? Even if the immediate thought is one of horror.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Be candid about what you want from your relationship. If you're asking how to approach the subject with someone you think will be horrified in a way that will make them less horrified, you can't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know when you suspect the horrified look is more to appear innocebt than truely shocked lol i feel this is the case

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By *j48Man
over a year ago

Wigan

"Be candid about what you want from your relationship. If you're asking how to approach the subject with someone you think will be horrified in a way that will make them less horrified, you can't. "

This

You've got the wrong partner for swinging OP, You're asking complete strangers on a website - try talking to your next new person before they become your partner, to end up being your ex partner because you progressed down a path that is ultimately the wrong one for you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You know when you suspect the horrified look is more to appear innocebt than truely shocked lol i feel this is the case"

so you're not communicating honestly or at least you suspect she isn't?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

so what I would say is work on creating a climate where she feels comfortable to say what she really wants.

You might have to accept though that she really is horrified by the idea and was reacting genuinely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you know them well enough to know they will be horrified by the thought you should leave them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know when you suspect the horrified look is more to appear innocebt than truely shocked lol i feel this is the case"

Or you're wishing it was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, you are with a new partner, and already you are thinking about bringing up the subject of swinging, unbelievable, that's love right there!!!!!

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"So honesty is everything to me even if it means losing whats important. Ladies may i ask, what is the best way to suggest swinging to a new partner? Even if the immediate thought is one of horror. "

Honestly?

Go to this site (or one similar)

http://mojoupgrade.com/

It's basically a survey to find out what interests you have in common.

Both fill out what they're interested in, and if one or both select NO, the results don't show. If any are yes or "if partner is interested," it does show.

Then talk talk talk.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"So, you are with a new partner, and already you are thinking about bringing up the subject of swinging, unbelievable, that's love right there!!!!!"

Swinging and love are not incompatible.

If it's important to one, I think it's good to find out at the beginning if future interests would make it a no go.

Wanting to be in the swinging community doesn't mean that a relationship can't flourish! but it's important to know relatively early on if it's a deal breaker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, you are with a new partner, and already you are thinking about bringing up the subject of swinging, unbelievable, that's love right there!!!!!

Swinging and love are not incompatible.

If it's important to one, I think it's good to find out at the beginning if future interests would make it a no go.

Wanting to be in the swinging community doesn't mean that a relationship can't flourish! but it's important to know relatively early on if it's a deal breaker."

Respect and each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s that hard mate....

If you’re clicking with them already then I presume you are including sexually too?

We found we just clicked instantly so once we knew the sex was good and we continued to chat about everything and anything to get to know about each other (I still to this day want to know everything about him), then our thoughts on threesomes etc came up.

So try that tact mate. Continue to try to get to know them. Become curious about their sexual preferences and see if they have similar.

If you find they aren’t as forthcoming it may be wise to think whether the new relationship is more important than being on here- as they may become upset if they find out and it wasn’t what they expected?

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So honesty is everything to me even if it means losing whats important. Ladies may i ask, what is the best way to suggest swinging to a new partner? Even if the immediate thought is one of horror. "
her immediate thought is one of horror or yours at the thought of asking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So honesty is everything to me even if it means losing whats important. Ladies may i ask, what is the best way to suggest swinging to a new partner? Even if the immediate thought is one of horror. "

Talking as a single man in the same position. You have said it yourself honesty is the best policy? Tell the women about it before you get too involved? Don't ask them to do it just tell them you have dabbled in swinging. I have done this and horrified is not a reaction I have ever got, first they appreciate you being honest and mostly there just curious and ask a load of questions, no big deal, if they want to try it they will let you know.

I have done this on pof and match.com and still get dates, I've had meets and been to clubs with women from both sites

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"So, you are with a new partner, and already you are thinking about bringing up the subject of swinging, unbelievable, that's love right there!!!!!"

its not even that that is a blantantly obviously red flag for me...

you are talking about doing this with a new partner, but you are actively seeking a meet without them at the moment....

so what THAT says to what you think of your "partner" probably says tons...

basically the lesson you can take from this is that people DO do some extra reading....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't introduce them to this site as the Wierdos will put her off.

Go to a club on a couples night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my partner before I met her, we met on a dating site and i didn't hide being active on the swinging and kink scenes from my profile. And we dip in to both scenes occasionally but neither are a priority to us.

I honestly can't see the point of hiding it to bring up weeks or months down the line, not because she might have said she had no interest in those scenes but mainly because I'm not interested in investing time and emotion in to someone who might be disgusted by my past.

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Just show her the profile you have created for both of you with her best sexiest pictures on it.

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