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How to start swinging as a couple

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?!

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Ok -put her on the swing, make sure she is well balanced and then shove.

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By *impleSailorMan
over a year ago

the moon

Is she as open about sexual activities as yourself?

Do you discuss it often and talk about what each other desires?

Do you get the impression that she'd really want the same ornosnitnthat you hope she does.

Don't get me wrong she may well do and then let the good times role.

But I'd definitely check before inviting another couple to get down and dirty with

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You know her best. Watching a video might be the best way to bring the subject up.

I genuinely think the best way is to initiate an ongoing conversation about your sex life in which both of you express fantasies and discuss them without prejudice. You both might be surprised what you find out.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester


"You know her best. Watching a video might be the best way to bring the subject up.

I genuinely think the best way is to initiate an ongoing conversation about your sex life in which both of you express fantasies and discuss them without prejudice. You both might be surprised what you find out."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me if you have a good enough relationship with a rational enough woman you should just be able to come right out and raise it as a point of discussion.

The trouble is, i recognise, many are not in this situation.

If i were looking to ease a person into it i'd maybe find a piece of media that deals with it. A movie or television show that centers around a swinging theme, then you can steer a conversation into it and get a feel for where she stands on the issue.

If you sense that she is fundamentally opposed then you have answered your question without committing yourself to a position which may be used against you later.

If you sense that she isnt fundamentally opposed just press a little on the matter. In a manner which could be best summed up as "Wow, im really impressed by your sexual liberated attitude, is that something you'd really be interested in?"

You should then have your answer as to whether its something she is at least willing to dip her toe into.

Whether she will actually like it, or whether it will all go tits up when it comes to the crunch, who knows, noone ever knows until they do it in my view. Even if they think they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't even remember how we came to be on a swingers site but what I do know is it took 16 years for the wife to hint she liked the ladies as I genuinely had no idea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?! "

when you are both having fun ask her if she has any fantasys of any kind and offer to help her fullfill them no matter what they are, hopefully she wants something that can be achieved at a club or inviting another person to your bedroom

it may not lead to swinging but you should have fun trying what she asks for

be carefull she might ask you for something you may not want to try

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Say that you’d like to try it and what her views are

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I wonder this and often ask couples when we have socials! We met on here so removed the need for any awkward conversations

TB

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I wonder this and often ask couples when we have socials! We met on here so removed the need for any awkward conversations

TB"

Errr... so she was ALREADY swinging? Why the need for the convo?

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I wonder this and often ask couples when we have socials! We met on here so removed the need for any awkward conversations

TB

Errr... so she was ALREADY swinging? Why the need for the convo?"

Not sure what you mean? We met on here as singles so it was a fairly easy decision to just carry on as a couple, much less of a potentially awkward conversation!

I wonder how you would have that conversation as a couple in ‘normal’ life so often ask people to find out how they brought it up.

TB

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I wonder this and often ask couples when we have socials! We met on here so removed the need for any awkward conversations

TB

Errr... so she was ALREADY swinging? Why the need for the convo?

Not sure what you mean? We met on here as singles so it was a fairly easy decision to just carry on as a couple, much less of a potentially awkward conversation!

I wonder how you would have that conversation as a couple in ‘normal’ life so often ask people to find out how they brought it up.

TB"

Ah ok. Thought you were asking for help in asking her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs S calls me the gardener. I planted the seed years ago and left it, when I thought it was ready to harvest I raised it again and bingo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?! "
Play strip twister with a swinging couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said to my Mrs I’m curious to see it and we went to clubs

I didn’t propose I have sex with another mans wife that we simply go and explore without doing anything.

Just be a fly on the wall

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By *icegentglosMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

Well good luck Op. I hope some of the answers help you. Nice to know your taking advice instead of pretending to be a couple or a single lady and wasting peoples time

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?! "

Take it to a social where there's no pressure to play..

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?!

Take it to a social where there's no pressure to play.."

Her not it sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?! "
just ask her when you're having really meaningful sex, can I watch you have sex with another guy or woman and see how she reacts if she fancies it at that point you're still not in the clear because she was at that point in orgasm mode

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a solo swinger and realised it was an important aspect of my true nature I decided to stop hoping to meet women and hope they are the same.

I changed my dating tactics to being open and honest about my swinging and kink past at the early stages of dating while maintaining a position of it not being a relationship condition.

I was surprised at how few women ran a mile at the first opportunity but to me the risk of being my true self at the expense of a likely leg over was worth it.

Anyone that is deeply offended at my deviant nature is unlikely to be someone I could connect with on relationship level. Like my wife she just nodded and said fine then a short time later dropped hints of her own she wanted to explore and we never looked back.

Sometimes you just have to be true to yourself and trust you attract those suitable for you other than trying to chase something that may never be there.

I had far better results through vanilla dating when it came to meeting play play partners as apposed to fab singles as the numbers game is more in your favour.

This method does take balls and frequent failed dates but more than paid off when I met a play partner I was so aligned with we got married and every single skeleton was out of the closet before we even got to the bedroom.

Guess in the end you have to reach a point of never compromise your beliefs or desires and stay single until meet one where you have a chance to be your true self. As long as you are in a relationship where you are not getting your needs filled is not leaving space to meet someone who can

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"When I was a solo swinger and realised it was an important aspect of my true nature I decided to stop hoping to meet women and hope they are the same.

I changed my dating tactics to being open and honest about my swinging and kink past at the early stages of dating while maintaining a position of it not being a relationship condition.

I was surprised at how few women ran a mile at the first opportunity but to me the risk of being my true self at the expense of a likely leg over was worth it.

Anyone that is deeply offended at my deviant nature is unlikely to be someone I could connect with on relationship level. Like my wife she just nodded and said fine then a short time later dropped hints of her own she wanted to explore and we never looked back.

Sometimes you just have to be true to yourself and trust you attract those suitable for you other than trying to chase something that may never be there.

I had far better results through vanilla dating when it came to meeting play play partners as apposed to fab singles as the numbers game is more in your favour.

This method does take balls and frequent failed dates but more than paid off when I met a play partner I was so aligned with we got married and every single skeleton was out of the closet before we even got to the bedroom.

Guess in the end you have to reach a point of never compromise your beliefs or desires and stay single until meet one where you have a chance to be your true self. As long as you are in a relationship where you are not getting your needs filled is not leaving space to meet someone who can"

Yep. Why would anyone go into a relationship pretending to be something they aren't? I know they do but don't they realise its storing up problems for later?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is Love? Baby don't hurt me no more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is Love? Baby don't hurt me no more. "
What's love got to do with it

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Any advise on easing a female partner into swinging? How should it be suggested to them without it being mentioned before? Should you start with watching videos together? Or should you just go and ask straight up? Obviously dont want to upset them. So any advise?! "

There is no deceitful way to introduce a partner to swinging and those who have tried quickly find it ends in disaster.

The only way is to ask if they are interested and have a conversation about it. If they are not interested then accept there wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was a solo swinger and realised it was an important aspect of my true nature I decided to stop hoping to meet women and hope they are the same.

I changed my dating tactics to being open and honest about my swinging and kink past at the early stages of dating while maintaining a position of it not being a relationship condition.

I was surprised at how few women ran a mile at the first opportunity but to me the risk of being my true self at the expense of a likely leg over was worth it.

Anyone that is deeply offended at my deviant nature is unlikely to be someone I could connect with on relationship level. Like my wife she just nodded and said fine then a short time later dropped hints of her own she wanted to explore and we never looked back.

Sometimes you just have to be true to yourself and trust you attract those suitable for you other than trying to chase something that may never be there.

I had far better results through vanilla dating when it came to meeting play play partners as apposed to fab singles as the numbers game is more in your favour.

This method does take balls and frequent failed dates but more than paid off when I met a play partner I was so aligned with we got married and every single skeleton was out of the closet before we even got to the bedroom.

Guess in the end you have to reach a point of never compromise your beliefs or desires and stay single until meet one where you have a chance to be your true self. As long as you are in a relationship where you are not getting your needs filled is not leaving space to meet someone who can"

Agree with this fully . However for us it was many years into our relationship that I,Mr, started to be interested in the lifestyle and also my sexuality.

Mrs is bisexual however was not keen on me exploring my bisexuality. This caused problems within the relationship and yes I began to explore without her.

Anyway,we split after 15 years for 6 months to review how we felt.

We are back together now as she has accepted my sexuality and we both enjoy the lifestyle together.

However if you are in a partnership you need to give and take so we have rules.

Remember people change and if you truly love them you should allow them to follow their desires ,as long as they are not harming you or themselves or others.

If I was to be single again I would have a starting point of being into the lifestyle with any potential long term partners.

Don't sit in silence be honest she deserves that.

Good luck.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Have a chat with her, if she wants to know more, let her log on to your profile and have a look at the site. Good luck. X

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