FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Making the First Move

Jump to newest
 

By *irtySekrets OP   Couple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

A bit reserved this lot

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irtySekrets OP   Couple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent


"A bit reserved this lot"

Hmmmm. Lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

I think it's a perfectly natural reaction, I think just try and be brave and laugh about it together if you have no luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Oh phew -just when I thought the whole thread was going for a bit of a burton

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rstrokesMan
over a year ago

Docklands

Break the ice and have fun...

Mmmm... Let's put it this way... We are here on fab to connect and meet, the same thing as when we go clubs/attend parties...

We go out with intent to meet like-minded individuals, have a chat and have fun.

Please take my advice...

Take your pleasure seriously!

Mr Strokes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"

We have felt your pain! It is weird, sometimes we feel happy to go up to anyone, other times we wait and see. Maybe its the vibe of the club or not seeing someone we really fancy...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"

Clubs with bar areas, either selling their drinks or serving you your own, are good for this.

Easy to have a bit of banter and test the water when getting a top up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"

We totally understand you! Feel the same. And to make matters worse, neither of us can seem to pick up signals once we've walked through the door. One lovely couple last year went to the effort of finding us, and throwing someone out of a room so we could go in it. Even after they locked the door with them in the room with us, Her hadn't clicked that they were remotely interested in us! (you know who you are xxxx Thank you again!!).

So while we know we need to man up and get a grip, equally if others could also be quite up front with us, we'd be very grateful!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales


"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want""

This is pretty much our game plan It leaves the door open for them to ditch us or to join us.

What also usually works for us is to just go and start playing and see if anyone takes a spot along side us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want""

A great line for a couple. That sounds classy and cool.

However

"I'm going to have a wank now. You're welcome to join me later if you want". Not quite the same is it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.

That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.

That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision "

That is a great idea.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"

Hmm when I visit clubs I’m generally quite friendly and not always looking to play with everyone I speak to, I’m pretty confident with singles and couples but I’m a bit more cautious with couples for some reason as I don’t always ls get the same friendliness back especially from the men, I’m not sure why nothing wrong with being courteous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"How about 'I'll be around the play areas later on. Give me a wave if you'd like my company'.

That marks you out as interested but non-pushy. The couple then have some time to discuss you and make a decision

That is a great idea."

Of course it is, I'll use it next time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is quite an interesting topic, I talk to couples quite a lot at clubs and they all say then same thing... no one talks to them! I guess if one of the couples fails to initiate a conversation first then no ones going to talk!

As a single guy attending clubs, I mostly talk with no expectations. Sure I may fancy the female, but never expect anything! If they don’t like me, their soon move on or shut me down, either way I know where I stand.

Other times you can have a nice conversation, but it doesn’t lead to anything and it’s quite refreshing!

Fact is, if you like the appearance of a couple, single male / female.... talk to them! No ones going to be rude, as we’re all in the same position.

But No thanks is a no and as long as it’s consensual then all’s good!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *DKinkyJenTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

I’m lucky that now I have met a few people at local clubs, so I’m usually introduced to other people, but I kind of had to ‘force’ myself into a group when I first went to a club.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Game of chess. Consideration and thought needed before moving into position

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I'm good at saying hi.... Totally rubbish at making a physical move on someone.

I also really enjoy being the one seduced though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."

That's interesting. I think we assumed that the ladies would be bombarded by both couples and men. I guess it's hard for a couple to judge whether a single female is open to couples or whether they are only looking for men (and vice versa). It's one reason we msg ladies in advance of going to a club.

I wonder if we should all wear colour coded labels! Left half what we are (M/F/Cpl) and right half what we're looking for!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"
they are there for same reason as you just take the plunge select a couple and stay focused

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

More people should make the first move. If their not interested they will let you know. Old saying ( If you ask you don’t get).

I was blatant to one woman once. ( way out my league)

And she only said yes. O boy what fun we had.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people find it difficult (including us) we never know when to make the move, think everyone has a fear of rejection, we’d welcome ideas, clubs we struggle with

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."

Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.

Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time! "

Why would you presume that? Defo give it a try

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nRachCouple
over a year ago

Willenhall


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."

Wow really, wasn't expecting it to be that way round. First time at a club for us tomorrow but we're definitely more interested in single ladies and will certainly be risking rejection to get one. After a drink or two anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We rarely go to clubs because we have a perception that everyone there knows each other, and we know nobody. I suppose it's a self fulfilling perception really. It is a difficult barrier to overcome.

I also think that we are over concerned about our age, and expect to be rejected because of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We have always had fun in clubs, sometimes we feel outgoing and approach others, other times we fancy being chased!

You never need to worry about age in a club. We put an age ranges on here as we generally prefer people in a certain age range, but when you meet people it simply comes down to attraction -a major advantage of a club! Time to go again we think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.

Wow really, wasn't expecting it to be that way round. First time at a club for us tomorrow but we're definitely more interested in single ladies and will certainly be risking rejection to get one. After a drink or two anyway "

I wish more people would. Couples complain they can't find single ladies yet don't bother to approach them in clubs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies.

Conversely we would naturally assume that single ladies in a club wouldn’t be interested in joining a couple. Maybe we should try our luck next time! "

It's one of the main reasons I go to a club.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we're a shy couple in a club too, we chat with people but we're terrible at picking up signals to progress it further. You can also throw us in the same boat as not talking to single ladies because we also assume she's getting enough hassle off others so we don't want to add to that or come across as unicorn hunters.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I too find it difficult approaching people Ina club. I do try though and will smile and make eye contact. I often stand near the bar area as I find it easier to strike up a conversation when people are waiting to be served. It's not often that I'm approached in a club by couples. I get the feeling that most couples in a club are looking for other couples, not single ladies."

I need to hang out at the bar more!!! I’m usually in the jacuzzi!!! Obviously wrong place.... x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are a confident and friendly couple, but when we are in a Club we find it hard to make the first move and go up to and chat to a couple we fancy.

Crazy really as we are sure we could be missing out on some sexy fun. And we know people will say that having a chat without play is ok which it is, but we go to clubs with the prime intention to play and not become someone’s best friend. Maybe it’s the thought of rejection lol.

Anyone else feel this? Xx"

Yes we do that's why like the Jacuzzi at chams as things can start in there and move on to a room.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ewBurtonMan
over a year ago

Derby

I always like to have a chat in a club before playing. Makes the fun more sexy for me

How about arranging to meet a couple or a single at a club ? David xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After chatting for a bit you could say "we're going to have a play now. You're welcome to join us later if you want"

A great line for a couple. That sounds classy and cool.

"

Does it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top