FabSwingers.com forum: Tips on approaching couples by singles in clubs

By *ax Cummings OP Man
over a year ago

Leyland

Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"
You have to have balls and not be frightened of rejection. If they are sitting down I would just say 'do you mind me sitting here' if they say yes they might be game. Or if they are at the bar compliment the lady. Only problem is you must choose wisely, use this as a tool see who is looking to meet men etc. If you go to 1 couple an then straight to another they will see that they are 2nd best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's difficult isn't it just to go up and start talking. I try to when I'm at the bar, or I will compliment a lady on what she is wearing to try and starry a conversation.

It's really awkward as a single so I try and go with a friend these days. It's much safer too got single ladies if you have a friend to watch your back.

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By *tuartsCelloCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Just be friendly and start chatting, better than the single guys that just stare at you - the key is to interact and I think you will find plenty of interest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"
Always approach naked with a hard on, it's honest and they will always know what you want even before they hear your squeaky voice

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By *tuartsCelloCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?Always approach naked with a hard on, it's honest and they will always know what you want even before they hear your squeaky voice"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gain eye contact. Then walk around to let them know your interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't scratch at a closed door.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"It's difficult isn't it just to go up and start talking. I try to when I'm at the bar, or I will compliment a lady on what she is wearing to try and starry a conversation.

It's really awkward as a single so I try and go with a friend these days. It's much safer too got single ladies if you have a friend to watch your back."
Yeah if you struggle to approach women it's harder to approach a couple where the guy's nickname is 'Tank'

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By *ax Cummings OP Man
over a year ago

Leyland

Thanks all, interesting stuff, lets add what you'd say should be the opening to the conversation.

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By *itch269Couple
over a year ago

Horley

Just speak! Just say hi and be as natural as possible. We are both very friendly and we hopefully give off that vibe as we enjoy playing with single guys. But don't take rejection as the end of the world! Not everyone is suited to every couple but a friendly chat to kick off goes a long way ??

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

If you don't speak to the person you want to play pool with in a bar you'll never get that game with them. The pool table will stay clear of balls and no play will happen. Interact if you want a game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
you've been there havnt you I can tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't speak to the person you want to play pool with in a bar you'll never get that game with them. The pool table will stay clear of balls and no play will happen. Interact if you want a game. "
Hey what a great analogy likened to pool balls in a hole as quick as poss

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Smile, give the odd wink if they are catching your attention, but above all just try chatting to them.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Don’t sit on top of them , or just whip your cock out and start wanking, be polite don’t say can I touch or grab. If they have sex but you don’t join in be complementary after. Ie that was amazing best thing I’ve seen this year etc take time again before they or you leave to say again thanks for that really made it worth coming here today etc.

So you didn’t get any but they return so do you they talk to other couples you repeat the exercise get a good name for your self it spreads in a club if stay at it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's something I struggle with too, to be honest. I don't want to intrude on a group, presume people will be interested etc, and in trying to be polite I'm aware I can come off as standoffish.

As a single lady, in a bar area I try to keep my body language open and look happy or at least relaxed if I'm not waiting for someone.

Although I'm not a couple, the main thing that really puts me off is moving too fast. Had a guy come up to me about a month ago, nothing wrong with him etc, might have otherwise done, but he opened with "hi I'm X, fancy a fuck?" I'm afraid I couldn't entirely hide my unpleasant reaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's something I struggle with too, to be honest. I don't want to intrude on a group, presume people will be interested etc, and in trying to be polite I'm aware I can come off as standoffish.

As a single lady, in a bar area I try to keep my body language open and look happy or at least relaxed if I'm not waiting for someone.

I'm totally with you on this

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"It's something I struggle with too, to be honest. I don't want to intrude on a group, presume people will be interested etc, and in trying to be polite I'm aware I can come off as standoffish.

As a single lady, in a bar area I try to keep my body language open and look happy or at least relaxed if I'm not waiting for someone.

I got fancy five minutes in sauna before I go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties? You have to have balls and not be frightened of rejection. If they are sitting down I would just say 'do you mind me sitting here' if they say yes they might be game. Or if they are at the bar compliment the lady. Only problem is you must choose wisely, use this as a tool see who is looking to meet men etc. If you go to 1 couple an then straight to another they will see that they are 2nd best."

Can I just say from a couples point of view don't do this ^^^ don't think because you don't mind them sitting there...don't take that as any indication they are fair game. Just take it as the seat is free...and don't compliment the lady. I wouldn't expect that in a normal pub so I see a sex club as no different and don't think you have to choose wisely of who your chatting to

Just go in and chat to people as you normally would down your local. Mingle and go with the flow. Once the chat flows then take the conversation further x

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Just go in and chat to people as you normally would down your local. Mingle and go with the flow. Once the chat flows then take the conversation further x"

Couldn't agree more

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Smile, be polite gain eye contact don’t pounce. Same as any pub situation

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Try the route we said it works, we know the guys who are going to get to play with couples and those living in hope that maybe a gangbang could start. Most of there cards have been stamped before they know it. Don’t myther crowd or be pushy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is very simple.....

Just approach any couple you’re interested in and say “ You know what blinks and fucks like a tiger ? “

When they reply “ What “

Just start blinking

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"It's something I struggle with too, to be honest. I don't want to intrude on a group, presume people will be interested etc, and in trying to be polite I'm aware I can come off as standoffish.

As a single lady, in a bar area I try to keep my body language open and look happy or at least relaxed if I'm not waiting for someone.

we'd be mortified, (although should not be totally surprised) if that happened to us. It seems to me, that some do go to these places with a stopwatch ticking and they don't have a second to lose. We'd say don't do this, play the long game and be likeable first, earn some respect and you will be more likely to be successful.

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By *aughtius MaximiusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

Relax, be open and smile. Try to catch their eye. Judge whether it`s ok to approach. If ok, then compliment both the woman and man. Then ask an open ended question.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"It's something I struggle with too, to be honest. I don't want to intrude on a group, presume people will be interested etc, and in trying to be polite I'm aware I can come off as standoffish.

As a single lady, in a bar area I try to keep my body language open and look happy or at least relaxed if I'm not waiting for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you don't walk up to us wanking or grabbing Mrs Twice as though she's a hot muffin just out of the oven, we are happy to chat.

A friendly and sparkly smile always gets her attention.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet."

We as a couple get blanked sometimes as well you know. Not everyone is everyone's cup of tea. But to be blanked is just rude. We talk to everyone. Say very early in conversation what we are looking for so folk can keep the chat brief if they want to move on to a couple that fits what they are looking for. Clubs for us are all about being friendly with people and if a spark ignites some passion......

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Thanks all, interesting stuff, lets add what you'd say should be the opening to the conversation."

Let's not! Why not treat people as individuals and tailor your approach accordingly. Jeez what next - a flow chart to follow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all, interesting stuff, lets add what you'd say should be the opening to the conversation."

The same as it would be down your local meeting strangers for the first time x

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By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

Mr blonde is spot on also look at the women when you speak most gents look at the husband I guess for approval buts always the women that has the last say.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Thanks all, interesting stuff, lets add what you'd say should be the opening to the conversation."

Best think is to hover by the bar and chat to anyone who comes near. Smile and be friendly.

Something like " do you mind if I chat to you for a few minutes, I'm here on my own "

People know you aren't after fucking immediately and are more likely to chat to you. You can then thank them for their company and natter to someone else. Later you can then meet up with any who seemed to enjoy your conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mr blonde is spot on also look at the women when you speak most gents look at the husband I guess for approval buts always the women that has the last say. "

Got to disagree here. Look at whoever is engaging in conversation the most. Don't ignore the other person but focusing on one part of a couple...Just no

Has people never went down the pub and just spoke to folk x

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Mr blonde is spot on also look at the women when you speak most gents look at the husband I guess for approval buts always the women that has the last say.

Got to disagree here. Look at whoever is engaging in conversation the most. Don't ignore the other person but focusing on one part of a couple...Just no

Has people never went down the pub and just spoke to folk x"

That's what we always say. When sex is involved folk think an approach is different. It's all normal. When you see someone in a pub you fancy how would you approach her or him. Clubs are no different. Approach people with respect, if you don't get respect back go speak to someone nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it."

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

That's dreadful. I think some people have had issues with guys pestering them and can be dismissive. But no excuse for that . Pick your club wisely. Some are well known for having very friendly regulars who are happy to talk to everyone. I am happy to chat to people especially newbies and I am rarely interested in them sexually .

I like the social side of club's as well as the naughty stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always chat with single men in clubs if they are brave enough to say hi. We don't play with them but are happy to chat on a social level. Confidence is key.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

There's some awful disrespectful people in all walks of life, swinging is no different. We have come across people in clubs (and on fab) who are so far up their, you know where. We mostly meet wonderful people so disrespectful is not the norm. Clubs we have found 99% of people who just want to have fun, social or more.

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

Speaking from a couples point of view I (m) would consider a single male if he started talking to me first, if he came up to us and just started chatting to Wilma i would think he was being a bit cheeky and then would be put off him.. just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Eye contact is the key, don't rub your privates, try and wear clothing, boxers etc if it's a dress down club rather than a towel. It shows your assets without showing them and if you have a nice bum then that is shown too. Works for me if I go on my own or with the lovely Scooby. Male

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Some really interesting thoughts here

We are totally open to chatting to anyone at a club, clearly if we don’t click we will say no thanks but the most likely way to be a no would be only talking to one of us or pushing too hard. We like eye contact, smiles and flirting.

We know it is hard to go over and say hello, we have been guilty ourselves at times, but we are there to play and actually appreciate people saying hi.

At one club we asked why single guys didn’t come over and talk and the suggestion was that M looked too scary - we both laughed, he’s a pussycat

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

and that's why jacuzzis are brilliant.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking from a couples point of view I (m) would consider a single male if he started talking to me first, if he came up to us and just started chatting to Wilma i would think he was being a bit cheeky and then would be put off him.. just my opinion"

I always talk to the couples as a couple and make them feel comfortable. It's nice just to say hi and introduce yourself.. This way the couple can get a feel for you..

It's always good to go off to the bar and leave them to chat to see if theirs a mutual attraction.. If not then it's fine at least you will have just been social.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

and that's why jacuzzis are brilliant.

That’s the dumbest bunch of shit I ever heard

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

and that's why jacuzzis are brilliant.

That’s the dumbest bunch of shit I ever heard "

It's worked every time for me and I've only been twice.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Just go in and chat to people as you normally would down your local. Mingle and go with the flow. Once the chat flows then take the conversation further x"
OK just disagree with everything I've said, not done me any harm. What experience do you have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go in and chat to people as you normally would down your local. Mingle and go with the flow. Once the chat flows then take the conversation further x OK just disagree with everything I've said, not done me any harm. What experience do you have?"

With men or clubs? X

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

With men or clubs? X"
Yeah both? that's just my opinion. You could say it is more a direct approach though. I'm looking to make things to happen, i don't buy into just go for social etc It's very seldom that couples approach men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let them come to you. If they’re interested they’ll let you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With men or clubs? X Yeah both? that's just my opinion. You could say it is more a direct approach though. I'm looking to make things to happen, i don't buy into just go for social etc It's very seldom that couples approach men."

That's great it works for you. I'm not into socials either. The OP can read all advice and make his own mind up x

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Don't scratch at a closed door.

Or shoulder it in like what happened to me

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

The best approach is to be on all fours like a large chimp and adopt the shit flinging position!

After all we are all descendants of them it triggers the old deep animal instincts and the couple go week for the Alpha

Or the simple smile and hello might work too

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"The best approach is to be on all fours like a large chimp and adopt the shit flinging position!

After all we are all descendants of them it triggers the old deep animal instincts and the couple go week for the Alpha

Or the simple smile and hello might work too

No I agree. You have to position yourself as the Alpha Male.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't scratch at a closed door.

Exactly!! Or open said door, walk in and start wanking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and avoid eye contact with anyone I’m not attracted to and make eye contact with those I like. Unless I am just looking for one single guy(which I don’t often do) then I won’t even chit chat with them, I’ll simply say sorry I’m not looking for single men and move away from them. I’ve found that if I stay and chat they will take that as an opportunity to start trying to badger me into changing my mind which can feel quite intimidating when you are on your own.

With couples and other fems I don’t seem to struggle to get into conversation with them but never know how to move it up to the next level and after a while there are awkward silences in the convo. I’m not confident enough to ask if they would like me to join them in a private room and if they don’t ask me or suggest anything, even if they seem to be interested I end up saying well enjoy the rest of your night and scurry off red faced. I think basically what I’m saying is be friendly and chat but don’t forget sometimes it pays to just chance your hand and ask if people would like to play.x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Approach them sideways like a crab and then do a crab mating dance in front of them (short side to side scuttles while clicking your hands open and shut like claws)

Or paint your arse bright red and do a moony in front of them(after all it works for those monkeys)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always tell the mrs she looks great naked and just put a big wad of fivers in Misters hand

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Question...

As a "Single Guy", why would you pay £25.00 entrance fee..

If you think you're going to be playing darts for a couple of hours with your Dad's mate Ronnie...

Treat it like "going down the pub"

Really....

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"Question...

As a "Single Guy", why would you pay £25.00 entrance fee..

If you think you're going to be playing darts for a couple of hours with your Dad's mate Ronnie...

Treat it like "going down the pub"

Really....

Well could make it a tenner then all knobs can call in bring a mate or two for giggle, a few cans and be a pain in arse on way to a nightclub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Come in from the side.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Question...

As a "Single Guy", why would you pay £25.00 entrance fee..

If you think you're going to be playing darts for a couple of hours with your Dad's mate Ronnie...

Treat it like "going down the pub"

Really....

I've not much experience of speaking to strangers in pubs (never been my thing), but it's not bad advice. Yes, I know it's a swingers club and I'm wearing very little, but there's much to be said for at least pretending to look at my face and making small talk so I can ascertain that you're a safe person.

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

I suppose there's weird logic to this "treat the place as you would a pub", but I'm struggling here.

If the chatty and amiable guy, gets you up the "dancers"...and the sex (for you is disappointing), then no harm done.

But if it's "OMG!" AND he's amiable and chatty then surely the danger then is (as I'm reading on another post)...it may unleash terrible "vanilla" thoughts.

Or am I just so off the mark, I may as well wear a wig n call myself "JoJo"

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I suppose there's weird logic to this "treat the place as you would a pub", but I'm struggling here.

If the chatty and amiable guy, gets you up the "dancers"...and the sex (for you is disappointing), then no harm done.

But if it's "OMG!" AND he's amiable and chatty then surely the danger then is (as I'm reading on another post)...it may unleash terrible "vanilla" thoughts.

Or am I just so off the mark, I may as well wear a wig n call myself "JoJo"

I'm not sure I follow to be honest. Vanilla thoughts don't concern me. It's more, if you're friendly and I'm comfortable, things are more likely to happen. At least at the very outset of an interaction, how to do that doesn't differ much in a club or in the vanilla world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose there's weird logic to this "treat the place as you would a pub", but I'm struggling here.

If the chatty and amiable guy, gets you up the "dancers"...and the sex (for you is disappointing), then no harm done.

But if it's "OMG!" AND he's amiable and chatty then surely the danger then is (as I'm reading on another post)...it may unleash terrible "vanilla" thoughts.

Or am I just so off the mark, I may as well wear a wig n call myself "JoJo"

I use that definition. Whenever I've been to a club I want to have mmf. It's most likely I've never met that person before so the only thing I can go on is the half hour or so chat before we all go down stairs. In that half hour I don't want someone who's only talking to me or Mr. I don't want someone who thinks I'm fair game. I don't want someone who talks about my looks. I just want someone who'll come over and have normal everyday funny chit chat that makes the 3 of us feel comfortable. Every time I've had mmf or ffm whether it be in a club or in my home the chat is the same as I would have on the pub x

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

I think what I'm trying to say is...

You're in a Sex Club, you've paid a hefty admission price to get in, and now you're being asked to play a waiting game, because Women need to know you're not the next Peter Sutcliffe*.

I see chatting as attempting to make friends, and if you do have common ground/experiences then tbh I'd rather have you as a friend.

Friends are (normally for life), a fuck is a fuck is a fuck.

But then that's why I'm single

*aka Yorkshire Ripper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what I'm trying to say is...

You're in a Sex Club, you've paid a hefty admission price to get in, and now you're being asked to play a waiting game, because Women need to know you're not the next Peter Sutcliffe*.

I see chatting as attempting to make friends, and if you do have common ground/experiences then tbh I'd rather have you as a friend.

Friends are (normally for life), a fuck is a fuck is a fuck.

But then that's why I'm single

*aka Yorkshire Ripper

If you don't talk to me normal tho your no getting to fuck me x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think what I'm trying to say is...

You're in a Sex Club, you've paid a hefty admission price to get in, and now you're being asked to play a waiting game, because Women need to know you're not the next Peter Sutcliffe*.

I see chatting as attempting to make friends, and if you do have common ground/experiences then tbh I'd rather have you as a friend.

Friends are (normally for life), a fuck is a fuck is a fuck.

But then that's why I'm single

*aka Yorkshire Ripper

I think wanting to get a sense that I'm not going to be attacked when the door closes is not unreasonable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm howling at the aka Yorkshire ripper hahaha x

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Not everyone on here can remember the absolute fear he spread throughout the North, at the time.

I find it interesting the lengths some people will go (semantically) to justify their behaviour/actions.

But it's horses for courses...and I've got a tenner riding on "Mr Polite and extremely sexy" in the 3.10 @ Doncaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not everyone on here can remember the absolute fear he spread throughout the North, at the time.

I find it interesting the lengths some people will go (semantically) to justify their behaviour/actions.

But it's horses for courses...and I've got a tenner riding on "Mr Polite and extremely sexy" in the 3.10 @ Doncaster

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

If it goes wrong in a club, and certainly for a single woman it’s going to be fucking dramatic.

There’s a lot of sound advice of women and couples on the above adhere to it there the ones who are looking for you guys.

Reality they only want to use your cock for twenty minutes no point crying over it , it is what it is

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Kinky Cream....I'm cool with all that.

I know it's only a fuck...and you say thanks and go get another tipple...

I just find it bizarre that people explain away their "thrutchy-ness" by convincing themselves 10 minutes "shooting the breeze" qualifies as "I checked him out and now we're good to go"

Upstairs or indeed Downstairs..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get chatting to couples in a swinging club? Err pretty much the same way you would anywhere else dude

Just be friendly and start chatting with no alterior motives.

And as for the issue of approaching one couple first then another second and them then feeling second class... just mingle dude. It's a party. Instead of pouncing on people and hoping to score. Just flit around and have fun until it feels like someone would like to pull you into a dark room

The role of the guy at a swinging club is merely to be available. You let them know you're there, you're fun, and you're available. And then you see if anyone wants to take you up on that. There's nothing you need to actively do beyond mingle and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let them come to you. If they’re interested they’ll let you know "

Yeah but the couple might think the same about the man....if he is interested in us he will let us know....and so it goes that no one is talking to no one....someone has to go first and although I have not been to a club yet (going this weekend) I already get the impression that single men who don't "work at it" are not very popular.

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By *ichydeeeMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I went with an old FB and there was a guy at the bar the girl likes if you sit and the bar everyone seemed relatively friendly and got along well with people in Cupid's in Manchester, I then went the following week on my own and did what he did and stuck up a convo at the bar with another couple which resulted in the viewing room and some filthy fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you get chatting to couples in a swinging club? Err pretty much the same way you would anywhere else dude

Just be friendly and start chatting with no alterior motives.

That's the kind of attitude that gets you an mmf x

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Whereas I've had the great conversation with a woman (who may or may not have been interested we were too busy chatting to go there) until she suddenly had to go as her male friend was apparently "getting a bit jealous!"

Sigh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what I'm trying to say is...

You're in a Sex Club, you've paid a hefty admission price to get in, and now you're being asked to play a waiting game, because Women need to know you're not the next Peter Sutcliffe*.

I see chatting as attempting to make friends, and if you do have common ground/experiences then tbh I'd rather have you as a friend.

Friends are (normally for life), a fuck is a fuck is a fuck.

But then that's why I'm single

*aka Yorkshire Ripper

I don't think chatting to a man for a while means we have gone down the road of being friends. Yes it is a swingers club and presumably us ladies have gone there to have sex but not with just anyone.

I think it is that very concept that "if your not here to fuck" attitude that keeps single women from going. I need to be attracted to a man to a certain degree to have sex and that is not always just down to how he looks or what his cock is like.

It is certainly a fantasy to just have sex randomly like that but in reality I think a 10 or 15 minute chat about any subject you like just to break the ice is not asking too much and frankly after 15 minutes the man is still a stranger. I just now know his opinion on one subject.

The man could have just gone to a prostitute if that is what he wants....guaranteed that way. But maybe he also likes the idea that he attracted the lady on a personal level. That she wants to have sex with him. That he is not just a cock....but then maybe not!!!

Of course there are the ones who think they are entitled to fuck a woman because they have paid their entry fee and that is probably why women want to chat a little first because although you are physically attracted to the man...what woman wants to do a man the honour of having his cock sucked by her when he is a complete dick head. You don't find out they are a dick head unless you chat.....not always guaranteed then.

Of course some women DO just want to fuck men without talking to them, some use glory holes where they do not know who they are even fucking, each to their own, can't we all just use a club in the way we want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Smile.

You’d be surprised how many guys don’t.

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you get chatting to couples in a swinging club? Err pretty much the same way you would anywhere else dude

Just be friendly and start chatting with no alterior motives.

Well said good sir

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

Just go for the Monty Python approach and ask the husband, "your missus, does she go? Eh, eh?"

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

Look friendly and don't nurse your drink, I'm not the most confident guy by any means but In a club you have to show you want to interact, I just treat it as a bar but naked folk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

Yes I can see that what I personally just said would seem a double standard.

If women have sex without wanting to chat first or have sex without even knowing who the man is then that is apparently OK but if a man wants the same it is frowned upon. So women appear to call the shots on how the evening goes.

I think it is a good assumption that we all use a swingers club to have sex at some point with someone but how we approach it will differ.

I think everyone should approach it how they want to without conforming to other people's way of approaching it but we all have to accept that our approach might not get us anywhere with the person(s) we are trying to have sex with using said approach...

So you might want to have more than one approach if you want to get what you want....I would not change my approach purely to get sex with a certain man. I would rather leave it and try elsewhere. It all depends how much you want it. I can't see me wanting it that badly I would go against my better judgement but you never know I could be wrong.

I have not been to a club yet so I could find that with increased confidence or just because of changing desires I might change approach. Nothing is set in stone is it.....

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"I went with an old FB and there was a guy at the bar the girl likes if you sit and the bar everyone seemed relatively friendly and got along well with people in Cupid's in Manchester, I then went the following week on my own and did what he did and stuck up a convo at the bar with another couple which resulted in the viewing room and some filthy fun "

That's sage advice, look and learn, it applies here too.

There's no shame in aspiring to be successful using somethings you've observed and if that means adapting what you're currently doing then great, just remain true to yourself in the process.

To get on generally, not just in clubs is to be comfortable making small talk, remembering to listen and pay compliments. If you are not naturally inclined to speak up, remind yourself, what's the worse that can happen, and if it does, step away have a drink and let any negativity you might be feeling disappear.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"How do you get chatting to couples in a swinging club? Err pretty much the same way you would anywhere else dude

Just be friendly and start chatting with no alterior motives.

Good answer but don't be frightened to ask is they want to play before moving on, they could be too shy to ask you

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Be polite etc bust most of all remember that there are two people in a couple and they both have to get along with you.

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Just be polite and approachable and always remember theres 2 people in a couple not just the lady.

Dont just follow round with your cock out and assume its ok to touch/join without being invited

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't scratch at a closed door.

Exactly!! Or open said door, walk in and start wanking

At quest in the couples only room unfortunately we were nearest the door spend the next 30mins being the Door man for all the idiots opening it and wanking or making inappropriate comments. Ahh the juveniles amongst us.

male

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Question...

As a "Single Guy", why would you pay £25.00 entrance fee..

If you think you're going to be playing darts for a couple of hours with your Dad's mate Ronnie...

Treat it like "going down the pub"

Really....

Think you missed the point. Treat approaching people like you would in a pub. With respect and not waving yr knob around. We all know clubs are not about playing darts and skittles. If you don't treat folk with respect when first making yourself known you might as well play darts

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By *achelross1978Couple
over a year ago

Blackwood

Just say hi .We love to talk to everyone xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sneak up on them it's only way

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Question...

As a "Single Guy", why would you pay £25.00 entrance fee..

If you think you're going to be playing darts for a couple of hours with your Dad's mate Ronnie...

Treat it like "going down the pub"

Really....

Yeah, it's slightly more helpful than another variant I've seen, just be normal. It's a frame of reference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've only been to clubs four times, so have limited experience.

However I would say don't be so pissed you can barely stand, I understand it can be quite scary attending alone but no one is going to choose someone who can barely stand as their third person.

We don't mind people approaching us at all, but I (Mrs) do not like compliments as an opener, it immediately turns me off all conversation, its 100% going nowhere. I prefer us to be approached as a couple - a simple "hi, I'm x, have you guys been here before" or "noticed you guys we're alone thought I'd pop over for a chat" anything normal, you get the idea.

If you ask someone are they playing tonight and they say no, accept it, continue with the conversation or move on, don't start trying to use wit, begging, whining to change their stance - its very unbecoming and incredibly irritating.

If you ask to sit beside someone and they are agreeable, or you get chatting to someone - it 100% doesn't mean they're game, I talk to anyone, because I'm polite and friendly, in the four times we've been to a club there's probably been a handful of people genuinely interested me - there's a lot more that don't - but just because I lack interest in having sex I won't blank them, its possible to have very interesting conversations with all walks of life even those that don't turn you on - much the same as in day to day life.

Most importantly be yourself, don't compromise who you are to impress people. Good luck.

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By *lpha-and-FoxtrotCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

"Thanks all, interesting stuff, lets add what you'd say should be the opening to the conversation.

Let's not! Why not treat people as individuals and tailor your approach accordingly. Jeez what next - a flow chart to follow

Hahahaha

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

If a single man is clean, tidy, polite and friendly, and I find him reasonably attractive, I am happy to play with him but,ironically, the best approach to us is to behave as if you're NOT looking for sex! It saves us the embarrassment of having to turn you down, which we generally do if a guy is pushy and persistent.

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

[Removed by poster at 25/10/18 10:30:23]

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Just looking forward to putting these various "ploys" into practice on Saturday night at Club SX.

I'll be the one sat, filling mi Pools Coupon in, telling everyone to be quiet as I'm trying to watch the Racing...

No doubt, I'll be whisked off at that point...

Either out the front door, or run up the back-stairs!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Just looking forward to putting these various "ploys" into practice on Saturday night at Club SX.

I'll be the one sat, filling mi Pools Coupon in, telling everyone to be quiet as I'm trying to watch the Racing...

No doubt, I'll be whisked off at that point...

Either out the front door, or run up the back-stairs!

I'm not sure if you're being serious, but either way, you're really missing the point.

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

It's all "good in the hood".

I do hear what you're saying.

It doesn't really bother me whether I get my jollies in a club or not.(Seriously, for me it's all about being seen and having a laugh with folk)

I appreciate the ambience, and love to people watch...

So it's a win/win. And ...if..something does "crop up" thn that's a bonus x

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"It's all "good in the hood".

I do hear what you're saying.

It doesn't really bother me whether I get my jollies in a club or not.(Seriously, for me it's all about being seen and having a laugh with folk)

I appreciate the ambience, and love to people watch...

So it's a win/win. And ...if..something does "crop up" thn that's a bonus x"

Wow that's not how you put it before, you seemed like it was all about the sex. What you have just said redeemed yourself. We do know if Paul n Lou see you filling in the pools at club sx, they will be more likely to help you than run you out of town

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

Ahhh Redemption is mine sayeth JoJo.

Sometimes I just can't help "pressing buttons"....

Hence Single ....sigh.

Hmmm maybe we could set up a Pools syndicate in Club SX....

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Ahhh Redemption is mine sayeth JoJo.

Sometimes I just can't help "pressing buttons"....

Hence Single ....sigh.

Hmmm maybe we could set up a Pools syndicate in Club SX....

Conclusion.... This thread just shows how social and fun we all are in clubs

Pools syndicate, we're in but only if we are guaranteed to win the jackpot

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Do all your approaching through Fab, then arrange to meet in a club. Takes all the dice rolling/walking on eggshells out of the equation

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By *oldentungMan
over a year ago

herne

I hate winks.....might be a nervous tic lol

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

Don't come across as the hunter looking for prey and talk to both parties would be my advice

Men who ignore Carter aren't winning brownie points

(Ms Icebreaker)

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

[Removed by poster at 25/10/18 12:18:55]

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"The worst one is being the couple that is spoken to., hearing of the set backs they've had that evening, nobody wants to feel like a consolation prize.

If you can't do the no's don't even go... "

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

I thought I’d gotten away with rubbing my privates when we met you, I will try to be more subtle next time

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

I thought I’d gotten away with rubbing my privates when we met you, I will try to be more subtle next time

"
if you are showing, then they ain't privates any more, they're your public's...

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

I thought I’d gotten away with rubbing my privates when we met you, I will try to be more subtle next time

if you are showing, then they ain't privates any more, they're your public's... "

My front garden is private but people can still see it. That’s not a euphemism either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

literally say hello...

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By *hocopopsMan
over a year ago

south

"literally say hello..."

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By *obbo44Man
over a year ago

Swansea

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules "

Well,that escalated quickly

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By *obbo44Man
over a year ago

Swansea

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules

Well,that escalated quickly

I'm always curtios and polite but as in a normal pub / club I would never take abuse off no one as should no one else if someone is being abusive for the sake of it because they think they are special because they are a couple it's going to end up very messy be Curtis and kind people play with who they want but being a tool will only end up going 1 way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules

Well,that escalated quickly

I find a simple "Fuck off cunt" or words to that effect usually works quite well rather than resorting to violence.Or calling them out on it and asking them why they think they've got the right to be such a twat,works really well if there's people listening in,shaming by way of highlighting rudeness or nasty behaviour can be very effective.The mind is a very powerful weapon and is usually a better option than resorting to violence,I save being violent for when I'm boxing or playing rugby as I'm generally a lover not a fighter.But I get your point,there's no need to be a dick to someone else just because you think you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the club or party. If it's a wet club where everyone is in a towel or minimal clothing, it can be a little more difficult than if you are fully clothed at a bar.

My top tip is to talk to both of them. The male and the female. Keep the conversation going and if one partner seems to be doing all the talking, ask the quiet one what they think.

At some point, if they haven't asked you to play, ask them if they fancy a play, if you have been open in conversation, they will either say yes or give a nice explanation as to why it's a no or not right now.

Don't immediately leave and crack on with the next available couple, stay, talk awhile longer before making your excuses to go mingle.

Relax and enjoy being there.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules "

And that help how exactly?

The bigger man would turn the other cheek.

No woman would thank you for dragging them into the old bill paying them a visit as things get ugly on the blink of an eye.

No to mention the club, club goers and the reputation of all concerned. If its that bad, report it to staff or get a thicker skin. Taking matters into your own hands seldom equals a good outcome in this situation.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

OK here we go......

I suppose there is no right way to approach some people. Each person will have there own preference.

There is for sure a wrong way but a right way is a bit more difficult. Personally I try to be mindful of people’s personal space, and try to make sure there is a gap between me and them. It stops any awkwardness. I will talk to anyone and their uncle about a variety of topics.

I do struggle to ask people to play, I suppose it’s the rejection side of things, however I may say something along the lines off where is everyone , I fancy a wander would you like to join me to see what is going on. Also try to find out if your speaking to a couple after 5/10 mins are they interested in single blokes and not just by asking do you playing with single; I try to be a bit more subtle; Especially if early in the night I may say if your interested later on I will be downstairs if you fancy joining me. That’s hinting you want to play but without be direct

Also for me I find I ask a question, do you mind if?, would you be interested?, are you interested in going someone where more quieter works better.

I get told I should be more direct , but hey ho I will do my own thing as I feel comfy doing that

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

A single guy approached us with a friendly greeting. He spoke to both of us, not just the lady. After a good 30 minutes or so we parted company without playing. He thanked us for our time.

On a different visit to the same club we met for a second time. We remembered him as a non pushy, friendly and polite person.

This time Coffee invited him to play. Invitation accepted.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules "

Wow. Just wow!

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By *obbo44Man
over a year ago

Swansea

"Step 1 - Find a couple who won't blank you when you approach.

Step 2 - Um... not sure. Haven't successfully completed step 1 yet.

A lot of women and couples don't think twice about being rude to men. They know there won't be any consequences for it.

Ye, i was openly told to f off when in a swinger club just passed a general comment youd say in a pub, nothing sexual.

You should have put a fucking chair over his head to humble the prick fuck that shit someone's abusive and it's going off there and then fuck the club rules

And that help how exactly?

The bigger man would turn the other cheek.

No woman would thank you for dragging them into the old bill paying them a visit as things get ugly on the blink of an eye.

It's not to do with getting a thicker skin it's about respect if male in a couple thinks he can just abuse people because he's in a couple and is just being a cock then it's going to end badly , and it would be only himself to blame for putting himself into that position , have respect for others that goes for singles and couples and if the woman can t keep her dog on a leash and he like to bark at others be prepared for 1 that will bite back

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Awful analogy, dogs that bark get complaints but dogs that bite generally get put to sleep!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

"
Yeah exactly I don't have a sense of entitlement for money but I'm gonna try my luck. Unless you are some really handsome guy, just sitting around waiting for things to happen you will be very disappointed. All this stuff like it's just going the pub as well it isn't at all. Unless they have a pool table or something to keep you entertained it can be boring. I'd say at least the single guys I have met have been pretty weird also so don't really want to talk to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

Yeah exactly I don't have a sense of entitlement for money but I'm gonna try my luck. Unless you are some really handsome guy, just sitting around waiting for things to happen you will be very disappointed. All this stuff like it's just going the pub as well it isn't at all. Unless they have a pool table or something to keep you entertained it can be boring. I'd say at least the single guys I have met have been pretty weird also so don't really want to talk to them."

When people say treat it like a pub it's not if the place has a pool table or dart board hahaha it's just talk to folk the same x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is good advise and when I first visited a club was my approach but still got cold shoulder a few times especially when they enquired if I was straight or bi. Both my club experiences were not nice and put me off both clubs and couples. Met some nice couples a various socials but I've never ventured there as it seemed too complicated compared to just meeting a lady.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

When people say treat it like a pub it's not if the place has a pool table or dart board hahaha it's just talk to folk the same x"
Yeah and I would say that is bad advice, a pub doesn't usually have an entrance fee or the possibility of sex, you don't generally talk to strangers in a pub you are normally there with friends or family. Being a single guy you have to try to stand out and that requires effort. There is a hierarchy in swinging, the couples generally expect the men to express an interest being polite etc just saying hello etc isn't gonna cut it most of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

When people say treat it like a pub it's not if the place has a pool table or dart board hahaha it's just talk to folk the same x Yeah and I would say that is bad advice, a pub doesn't usually have an entrance fee or the possibility of sex, you don't generally talk to strangers in a pub you are normally there with friends or family. Being a single guy you have to try to stand out and that requires effort. There is a hierarchy in swinging, the couples generally expect the men to express an interest being polite etc just saying hello etc isn't gonna cut it most of the time. "

I'm talking about the chat. Not surroundings x

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I don't approach couples, infact the last few times I've been out weather it's been in this world or the Vinilla world I've been approached by people.. In this world I go to a club or party il get noticed almost stright away. Weather couples want to come and chat to me or not that's up to them.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Mr blonde you and I have spoken about this in person. Lol.

I think we both do reasonably well in clubs but actually we both take a slightly different approach. The thing is we are both chatty and can talk

I wish I could be a lot more assertive in playing but I do go shy; it’s just who I am as a person. It’s probably to do with my weight issues, and I thinking that they may not like me.

For me each club night is different sometimes you may play with some early on then no1 else for the rest of the evening and quiet easily the opposite can happen

I try to be talkative and engaging as that helps and then if people fancy you they fancy you. End off

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

I'm talking about the chat. Not surroundings x"
Well I might ask if they attend the club often, I mention Fab, I don't dig into personal details though. So how is the chat similar to a pub conversation then? People don't try an sleep with other peoples wives etc while there partner is there in a pub. There is no real comparison at all to a pub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

I'm talking about the chat. Not surroundings x Well I might ask if they attend the club often, I mention Fab, I don't dig into personal details though. So how is the chat similar to a pub conversation then? People don't try an sleep with other peoples wives etc while there partner is there in a pub. There is no real comparison at all to a pub. "

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x"
You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well."

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x"
Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Mr blonde you and I have spoken about this in person. Lol.

I think we both do reasonably well in clubs but actually we both take a slightly different approach. The thing is we are both chatty and can talk

I wish I could be a lot more assertive in playing but I do go shy; it’s just who I am as a person. It’s probably to do with my weight issues, and I thinking that they may not like me.

For me each club night is different sometimes you may play with some early on then no1 else for the rest of the evening and quiet easily the opposite can happen

I try to be talkative and engaging as that helps and then if people fancy you they fancy you. End off "
Yeah mate just confidence that is all if you don't ask you very rarely get.

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I don't really understand this topic,tips on approaching couples by singles in club , what is this supposed to mean, are the couples not human beings? What is the big deal in saying hello guys, you look nice, would you like to play? Short and simple , pop and plain. Why do a lot of guys think they are not worth anything , it is strange.

So if I was standing on my own in a club, you will talk to me but if I was standing with any of the ladies I came with ,which I don't do because I like playing the game alone, you will need tips to talk to me, are guys afraid to talk to ladies, when will would guys understand that you are the reason why the ladies and the couples come to the club, you are the prize in this game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion. "

I don't talk about the weather or what they watch on tv in the pub either hahaha

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion.

I don't talk about the weather or what they watch on tv in the pub either hahaha

You are next to me at a bar in a sex club and you just chat to me normal the same way you would in a pub and you come off as a nice normal funny chatty guy we'll have an mmf. You start talking about sex I'm chatting to someone else x"
I never said talk straight away about Sex, i'll ask what they are into etc but the talk will be mostly swinger relevant topics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion.

I don't talk about the weather or what they watch on tv in the pub either hahaha

You are next to me at a bar in a sex club and you just chat to me normal the same way you would in a pub and you come off as a nice normal funny chatty guy we'll have an mmf. You start talking about sex I'm chatting to someone else x I never said talk straight away about Sex, i'll ask what they are into etc but the talk will be mostly swinger relevant topics."

Well our idea of what bar chat is then is very very different. Best of luck to you x

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion.

I don't talk about the weather or what they watch on tv in the pub either hahaha

You are next to me at a bar in a sex club and you just chat to me normal the same way you would in a pub and you come off as a nice normal funny chatty guy we'll have an mmf. You start talking about sex I'm chatting to someone else x I never said talk straight away about Sex, i'll ask what they are into etc but the talk will be mostly swinger relevant topics.

Well our idea of what bar chat is then is very very different. Best of luck to you x"
It is because you haven't specified what you do talk about. You make your own luck in this game I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

I thought I’d gotten away with rubbing my privates when we met you, I will try to be more subtle next time

love it mate it would have been better for you if the lovely Scooby had done it

male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

I thought I’d gotten away with rubbing my privates when we met you, I will try to be more subtle next time

if you are showing, then they ain't privates any more, they're your public's... "

Nah I think it was his pubics

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Have tended to find couples will approach me and if not just be polite and have a normal conversation with both and don't assume you are going to play!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Always like it when we are approached when L is in restraint and I’m asked the question, ‘is she bi’.

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By *ojoTV/TS
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Always like it when we are approached when L is in restraint and I’m asked the question, ‘is she bi’."

Could you possibly have misheard...

Like a scene from Arabian Knights "slave bazaar"....

"Is she buy-able".....perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From our limited experience, we have had great interaction with confident, polite and interesting singles and been made to feel quite awkward by men staring and wanking.

Put it away and have a chat.

Other couples can also be odd and ok you don’t fancy us but no need to be rude to anyone.

We have had couples who have been interested in one of us and completely ignored the other.

We are actually happy for only one of us to play but at least fein some interest in the small talk!

Except the wanky starers

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From our limited experience, we have had great interaction with confident, polite and interesting singles and been made to feel quite awkward by men staring and wanking.

Put it away and have a chat.

Other couples can also be odd and ok you don’t fancy us but no need to be rude to anyone.

We have had couples who have been interested in one of us and completely ignored the other.

We are actually happy for only one of us to play but at least fein some interest in the small talk!

Except the wanky starers

Feign some interest.

Why can’t you edit posts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

Ive been thrown out of a few pubs,

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

Think you are missing the point. No one is saying a club is the same as a pub. What we are saying is speak to people in a club with the same respect you would speak to anyone in a pub. And to say folk don't talk to strangers in a pub as we are with friends, Us and our friends have made friends with strangers in pubs many many times. Walk into any pub in the country as strangers and always leave as friends and all due to speaking to folk with respect. Be an arsehole and get thrown out. "
No I don't think I am, obviously talk with respect that goes without saying. Single guys need to proactive if they want to be successful so saying just treat it like going a pub isn't great advice to them. Maybe for a couple it is because you have each other.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion. "

Well we would think you were a wierdo more so if you approached us in a club and tell us how big your cock is and how good you fuck, we'd repect you a lot more if you chatted to us on a level that we could get to know if you were a nice guy or a tit. At this moment in time we think you are a ??? answers on a postcard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still find the simplest lines work.

"Do you fuck for fun"?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

[Removed by poster at 25/10/18 19:39:58]

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Hmmm....now I think we're straying into that realm that maybe I was hinting at all along.

Double standards....

Which is fine, I'm the World's worst..

Yes we can all use the club for whatever reason we like (though as you yourself admit its primarily to have sex).

The world would be a terrible place if all the flowers were the same colour

For me I can honestly say I have the same chat in a club as I would in a pub. After a while it's a bit inevitable that fab and other things will get mentioned but up until we decide to take things further standing at the bar the chat will be the same x You haven't really answered the question again. There must be some strange pubs where you are from as well.

What was the question? Why is the chat the same? I have the same chat when I'm standing at the bar of a sex club as when I'm standing at the bar of my local. I talk about random everyday stuff. Just stand and start talking to the folk next to you who's standing there. I don't talk about sex. I don't talk about anything too heavy. I just go in and start talking to the folk there the exact same way I would if I had walked in a pub. I can hold a conversation in company for a good while without talking about sex you know x Well that is just personal preference but you are recommending a single guy should start talking about the weather, football, drink prices, what they watched on TV etc Couples would think you are weird doing that in my opinion.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

As a couple.... We would say talk to people. Engage in conversation. Don't just stand staring. Introduce yourself. Don't make assumptions that everyone is there to play. It's all about the communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We prefer folk to just ask

Is straight if we’d like to play with them. Sometimes we say yes, sometimes no.

What we don’t like is people following us around hoping that we will ask them.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

This thread makes for difficult reading!

The pub analogy is perfectly true, being sociable really isn't that difficult

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Social skills is the most important thing as a swinger, even more so when you're a single male.

Be natural, and be yourself. Smile in passing sometimes, or say hello. If you're in a position to be near a couple for any reason (eg, sitting near them or standing near to them), say hello, and then take everything else naturally as it comes, whether it's a negative response or a continuation of the conversation. Above all, just relax when doing so, so that you don't come across as weird or creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just be friendly and start chatting, better than the single guys that just stare at you - the key is to interact and I think you will find plenty of interest x"

Even as a single woman going to a club some guys will just stare rather than approach?! It’s a little creepy. But why come out to stand in a corner? I’ve never understood

Just be brave! Be friendly and polite. Most people are friendly and polite in return. Even if you’re not what they’re looking for, maybe you make a friend, or just have a pleasant conversation. Winning any way you look at it.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

It’s funny if I acted like I sometimes act in a pub I would play with no one

Let me explain!!!!

I often go in to a pub with football so it is drink as much as possible; sing songs, and get flags up. No matter how friendly and flexible the clubs are I can’t think of anyone that would let me do this. Normally I am moaning about the team etc etc etc

In a club most topics have come up though politics can be a touchy subject, the sun newspaper in the north west as well

. I try to be as natural as possible. I am not perfect but I try

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By *uncan LynnCouple
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

You would be surprised by how many don't approach, despite what we would say is the obvious signs.

Lynn and I kissing. Lynn showing lit of leg, stocking top and more, eye contact with smiles and still they don't come over.

Yes you need to be prepared for a polite no thanks

But look for the obvious.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

We always think it's odd that the guy's never talk to each other also you can have ten guys standing there in total silence it's really creepy and off putting.

Treat it like your at a house party (not a swinging party) and don't know anyone,mingle ,chat be friendly with everyone if you talk to a couple talk to both of them not just her.

If they say they are going for a walk don't follow them unless they ask you to come.

It's not rocket science .

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By *uncan LynnCouple
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?"

You would be surprised by how many don't approach, despite what we would say is the obvious signs.

Lynn and I kissing. Lynn showing lit of leg, stocking top and more, eye contact with smiles and still they don't come over.

Yes you need to be prepared for a polite no thanks

But look for the obvious.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Always a fraught subject on how to approach a couple if your single in a club, lets see what tips you recommend to make it fruitful for both parties?

You would be surprised by how many don't approach, despite what we would say is the obvious signs.

Lynn and I kissing. Lynn showing lit of leg, stocking top and more, eye contact with smiles and still they don't come over.

Yes you need to be prepared for a polite no thanks

But look for the obvious."

It could be that people don’t want to interrupt - I have often held back

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

The Big Issue seller, that’s your single guy in a club reality right there; you put yourself out there, by yourself, politely and respectfully making your presence known. Most people either reject you, avoid eye contact, or pretend you’re not there. Occasionally though, someone will stop and talk

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"We always think it's odd that the guy's never talk to each other also you can have ten guys standing there in total silence it's really creepy and off putting.

Treat it like your at a house party (not a swinging party) and don't know anyone,mingle ,chat be friendly with everyone if you talk to a couple talk to both of them not just her.

If they say they are going for a walk don't follow them unless they ask you to come.

It's not rocket science ."

Oh no oooo. House party now. They can't even get their head round the pub analogy and now you say a none swingers house party.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always think it's odd that the guy's never talk to each other also you can have ten guys standing there in total silence it's really creepy and off putting.

Treat it like your at a house party (not a swinging party) and don't know anyone,mingle ,chat be friendly with everyone if you talk to a couple talk to both of them not just her.

If they say they are going for a walk don't follow them unless they ask you to come.

It's not rocket science .

Oh no oooo. House party now. They can't even get their head round the pub analogy and now you say a none swingers house party.....

They might be in luck if the club had just had a 2 story extension lol x

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Interact, chat - show interest & personality, we like cheeky flirty banter

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"We always think it's odd that the guy's never talk to each other also you can have ten guys standing there in total silence it's really creepy and off putting.

Treat it like your at a house party (not a swinging party) and don't know anyone,mingle ,chat be friendly with everyone if you talk to a couple talk to both of them not just her.

If they say they are going for a walk don't follow them unless they ask you to come.

It's not rocket science .

Oh no oooo. House party now. They can't even get their head round the pub analogy and now you say a none swingers house party.....

They might be in luck if the club had just had a 2 story extension lol x"

Well, party, jelly, custard and balloons

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Well OP hope all that helped for your next club visit

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