FabSwingers.com forum: Questions before face pics

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

We like to know a few things such as whether we might know them in real life or whether they are into the same things we are. We’re talking 10 minutes of chat. Fighting over showing/not showing face pics probably took longer.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

To be honest I’m not surprised they blocked you for refusing to send face pics, we would too! It seems pretty pointless sending messages back and forth, only to to find out you don’t find each other attractive. Sending pics early on means you’d won’t waste each other’s time if you don’t fancy each other and you can then move onto finding people who you do fancy

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

Nope, that’s exactly how we play it.

Lou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Know where you are coming from , people just need to read a few lines of our profile to know where we stand.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

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By *ice But Very NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

Nope, that’s exactly how we play it.

Lou x "

The same for us, we would prefer to briefly chat before showing our face pics.

C & P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We prefer to chat briefly before sending pictures for the same reasons you stated; compatibility and to make sure we don't know them in real life.

We aren't overly cautious when they are well verfied but we aren't comfortable with sending face pics to someone with no Veris.

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By *eorge n DragonCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Agree like to know about the person before send pics and see if compatible.

Personality attracts us to people rather than face pics.

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

I prefer a chat first,then pics.

Not a protracted correspondence, just enough to get an impression of each other before moving to so sharing pics and possible meeting logistics.

Each to their own though, as always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to fins a happy medium.

We would expect a face pic early on, but we don't hide ours so it's only fair as far as we're concerned.

If they asked and had already provided there face pic then I don't see the harm in reciprocating. If they're asking but haven't then your right to want play it out your way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when couples have contacted me its always been pleasing that most of the time they send a couple of face pics in that message.

brief chat before hand is also good for me, bit i do find difficult is knowing when to send the face pic. i usually leave it 4 or 5 messages and if they come back to me then i send it.

but everyone has a different view.

interesting to read your views though folks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have to fins a happy medium.

We would expect a face pic early on, but we don't hide ours so it's only fair as far as we're concerned.

If they asked and had already provided there face pic then I don't see the harm in reciprocating. If they're asking but haven't then your right to want play it out your way. "

To be clear we told them we were not exchanging face pics right from the start. They were fine and asked to Kik with us then again asked for face pics almost immediately. We like to know that we are not exchanging pics with brother/sister or boss. A few well placed questions can rule that out and that’s all we’re trying to do.

Their male sent his pic and we thought it was a way of bullying us into sending ours in return. When we didn’t reciprocate they blocked us. We were left with no idea beyond their profile details whether they were neighbours or vanilla friends so definitely not enough for us to show ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"when couples have contacted me its always been pleasing that most of the time they send a couple of face pics in that message.

brief chat before hand is also good for me, bit i do find difficult is knowing when to send the face pic. i usually leave it 4 or 5 messages and if they come back to me then i send it.

but everyone has a different view.

interesting to read your views though folks."

We’re only talking a few questions to rule out no no’s for us such as :-

Do you do full swap (we don’t do soft)?

Is bi play something you want (we’re straight)?

Does the male have a beard (don’t like beards)?

There’s no point in risking giving your photos out until you at least know you’re reasonably compatible. Glad to hear others understand this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

That's us too .. We see if we have enough in common before sending any face pics out..if Thats not good enough for them, so be it..we have never had any problems getting meets on any of the site's we are on doing it our way...we can not afford to be reckless with our face pics being linked back to our swinging lifestyle..we have others to consider and would not want to cause them any embarrassment.

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

I refuse to send a face pic until we get to the details of what we are both looking for and whether the other person can offer it.

There's no point guaging attraction if you aren't compatible from the get go.

If you ask for a face pic in message 1 or 2, you'll not get one from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when couples have contacted me its always been pleasing that most of the time they send a couple of face pics in that message.

brief chat before hand is also good for me, bit i do find difficult is knowing when to send the face pic. i usually leave it 4 or 5 messages and if they come back to me then i send it.

but everyone has a different view.

interesting to read your views though folks.

We’re only talking a few questions to rule out no no’s for us such as :-

Do you do full swap (we don’t do soft)?

Is bi play something you want (we’re straight)?

Does the male have a beard (don’t like beards)?

There’s no point in risking giving your photos out until you at least know you’re reasonably compatible. Glad to hear others understand this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I refuse to send a face pic until we get to the details of what we are both looking for and whether the other person can offer it.

There's no point guaging attraction if you aren't compatible from the get go.

If you ask for a face pic in message 1 or 2, you'll not get one from me.

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By *ave-and-LouiseCouple
over a year ago

Torquay

I'm with you OP, I'd rather be sure that we are after the same things before sharing face pics. If people don't like that, then we're not for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have blocked you, but I wouldn't have replied to you without a face pic so... It does say on my profile though. Doesn't stop the chancers. If a single guy messages without a face pic then I will talk sometimes, as if I am not attracted to him it doesn't matter as I am not looking for single guys but there are alot of females and couples who have obviously not read my profile that don't send them, even tho my face is visible. Their messages get deleted without being read. Too many conversations started without knowing if I fancy them and finding out I really don't and feeling like an arse saying so, because we get on fine. Such a waste of time

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

It’s a tricky one... we tend to have a bit of chat, and if we know anyone on their friends/veris we will happily send photos, otherwise we play Veri-top-trumps; they who have less shows first lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I refuse to send a face pic until we get to the details of what we are both looking for and whether the other person can offer it.

There's no point guaging attraction if you aren't compatible from the get go.

If you ask for a face pic in message 1 or 2, you'll not get one from me.

Same as me!

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

"It’s a tricky one... we tend to have a bit of chat, and if we know anyone on their friends/veris we will happily send photos, otherwise we play Veri-top-trumps; they who have less shows first lol"

Verification top trumps. That sounds like a fun game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally with you OP . We like to make sure we don't know them in real life so if they are from the same area ( doncaster is a big place ) we always ask which village and we like to make sure we all want the same things ...so a couple of messages in for us too . Although if they have face pics on thier profile and we don't know them we would be happy and inclined to send them straight away if thier profile matches what we are looking for . Xx

Mrs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone can't show me a face pic early on then I'm not interested. Facial attraction is important to me. Pointless chatting if I get a pic and don't like what I see and then I feel guilty saying no. Better to get the attraction bit out the way from the start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

Reading what you described my first thought was you're probably not compatable. Two very different values in attraction. .. One more visual one intellectual. That not to say one is anyway better or more important, just different and hense you'd be looking different things for stimulus in a meet. I've suggested this numerous times over the years on here... do the 5 love languages test to see what you are and what you look for in response and acceptance of someone else's advances. It's a good test to help searching for this who might be more readily compatable.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Your profile your choices, their profile their choices .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you just weren't compatible. No way is the right way. I won't even chat without seeing a pic. It doesn't bother me if the other party won't show a pic. Just means we won't chat. No biggie and we both move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PS. .. Only time I'll send a face pic is if the other asks but has shown theirs first... I'd say that been on about 5 occasions in 3 yrs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't talk about anything sexual without seeing a face pic first. I'm looking for people I'm attracted to to have sex with, not certain sexual acts with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

Attraction isn't necessarily physical. Have you ever sat and watched many couples when youre out and about in town?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

You read my mind

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Lea Marston

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

I'm the same, don't like to think of my face pic being seen by anyone other than people I'd be potentially interested in meeting. It's not like we're talking days on end here, just a few messages to get a feel.

But of course, the beauty of the site is there are so many different ways of playing it, you'll always find someone who does things in the same way you do!

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

"when couples have contacted me its always been pleasing that most of the time they send a couple of face pics in that message.

brief chat before hand is also good for me, bit i do find difficult is knowing when to send the face pic. i usually leave it 4 or 5 messages and if they come back to me then i send it.

but everyone has a different view.

interesting to read your views though folks.

We’re only talking a few questions to rule out no no’s for us such as :-

Do you do full swap (we don’t do soft)?

Is bi play something you want (we’re straight)?

Does the male have a beard (don’t like beards)?

There’s no point in risking giving your photos out until you at least know you’re reasonably compatible. Glad to hear others understand this.

Same as you, we tend to look for veri’s as a filter (positively) and only send pic’s if they’ve sent first. It broadly depends on who takes the lead - if they/he/she approach us then we feel they should offer pic’s first and if we take the lead then we offer pic’s.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

What if you don't get along after you've sent your pics to an unverified or verified profile. So now someone has your pics and you don't know what they will do with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

One reason we’re careful is we were exchanging pics with a single guy and it ended up we he was a guy who sat two desks from L in work. Luckily he exchanged first and we made our excuses and rejected him. It could have been awkward to say the least if a single guy at work knew a married woman he worked with on the site. That made us paranoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

I never meet local guys. That solves that... plus I never reveal first. Works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile your choices, their profile their choices .

This

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

I never meet local guys. That solves that... plus I never reveal first. Works for me. "

Judging by response to the question many of those saying they wouldn’t chat without pics are women. That makes sense as women are at the top of the food chain and if a single woman wants a face pic first she will generally get it. We can understand that as there are so many people chasing women that pics first probably saves a lot of time. Just our theory anyway.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

It's better than chatting about what you're into then finding out you know them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

It's better than chatting about what you're into then finding out you know them

But you can ask questions to determine if you might know them before exchanging pics.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

I never meet local guys. That solves that... plus I never reveal first. Works for me.

We all have the same choices ..ladies may be the minority, couple's then single guys in numbers terms..if you feel ladies are top of the food chain they can ask and get ..your choice.. myself..it's a level playing field.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

We blocked couple after they sent us a face pic as was not what we were looking for so feel it's a good thing we have them our profile to

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

True,but even if you sent yours first and he sent his anyway. Then you're both on here so he can't judge you surely. Bet he's met a couple or two. Granted if you sent your's first and then he didn't respond because he reconigsed you from work. But you wouldn't know so you would just carry on as normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

"
erm, because I rate attractiveness of personality over percieved physical attractiveness?

I have some phenomenal people on my friends list. That isn't because I'm a pretty boy. Some of them may be tempted to meet socially. All are out of my league.

If I had to rely on my looks alone, I'd never get a meet.

Some of the most "attractive" people on fab are total cunts because they get their ego's massaged.

So... I'll take my chance with people I can get on with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

Or in an alternate scenario he could start pestering for a meet at work and making innuendos. Or worse trying to expose us as a way of getting a meet.

Think many married women would feel uncomfortable with a guy in their workplace knowing they were on the site. Or maybe it’s just us.

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

We are happy to send early face pics to a clearly genuine potential meet, but we would rather not send them to unverified profiles. Those would take longer to become comfortable with.

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

It's better than chatting about what you're into then finding out you know them

But you can ask questions to determine if you might know them before exchanging pics. "

True however people lie as they don't want you finding them in true life so it's still a risk.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

With you op, however, we set a few rules. No locals, ever, no face pics till 'we' know what they look like, if they don't like it we won't meet. We have a very good reason why so we never deviate. There's some who'll block us for this but there's so many, many more who'll meet and understand and it's these people we concentrate on, the others we don't dwell on.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

If you’re paranoid about the whole sharing face pics with strangers, just ensure you only share ‘face pics’ (clean, no nudity). That way you still keep your dignity intact. We’ll never share photos that include nudity and our faces in the same pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

Bit both ways yes wanting to be careful is one thing but asking 20 questions could be a bit of a task probably need to find a reasonable balance

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Definitely no face pictures till you’re happy next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

Attraction isn't necessarily physical. Have you ever sat and watched many couples when youre out and about in town?"

Not sure of the relevance. I don't know anyone that is or has been in a relationship with someone they didn't find at all physically attractive. Having a great personality does not trump being unattractive to me, the same is also true of the opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv sent face pics early in a chat and got turned down by the couple

Then 3 weeks later they messaged me had a week or so of messages and a social meet with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got blocked by a couple for not sending face pics after a couple of introductory messages.

We reached an impasse as they wanted face pics to gauge attraction whereas we wanted questions to see if we were compatible. They were unverified by the way.

Privacy is important to us esp with so many pic collectors. Are we unusual in this respect in that we like a few messages before revealing our secret identity?

I don't see a prob you were both incomparable I don't see that them being unverified makes a lot of difference it doesn't make them lesser people if they blocked you then it saved you blocking them so end of move on plenty more couples out there for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who do exchange pics before chat are you not worried about exchanging pics and it’s a family member or colleague?

I never meet local guys. That solves that... plus I never reveal first. Works for me.

I never send one first no exceptions. Even if it meant loosing a potential meet. One thing one needs to remember on fab is its not for life, it's only a meet maybe few at best. There are and will be many more so why be pressurised into do something you're not comfortable with. Not if it were to be a life changing event then my face and her face may be exchanged differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only get a face pic from me if we have agreed to fuck.

The last time I sent a face pic, the twat found out who I was and made my life hell.

And as I don't assume we are fucking when we meet (I do socials without commitment) I'm hoping my personality wins over my looks.

How can you agree to fuck someone you don't know you are attracted to?!

erm, because I rate attractiveness of personality over percieved physical attractiveness?

I have some phenomenal people on my friends list. That isn't because I'm a pretty boy. Some of them may be tempted to meet socially. All are out of my league.

If I had to rely on my looks alone, I'd never get a meet.

Some of the most "attractive" people on fab are total cunts because they get their ego's massaged.

So... I'll take my chance with people I can get on with.

Totally agree with this.

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