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"I have gave 24 pints of blood and plan to continue for as long as they want it. It's only become a issue since starting to swing that you have to declare if you have had sex with a man who has had sex with another man in the last 3 months. Because of this I have avoided bi/curious men. We only practice safe sex so is this really a issue or am I worrying for nothing? I don't want to lie as this is someone else's health. Am I right to avoid these men? Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Jenny x" interesting topic. wonder what replies come about | |||
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"As long as you are playing safe you should be fine. Also most straight men on here here are only "fab" straight. I would say 95% of guys that contact me are on here as straight." I would suggest 100% aren't! Re, blood donation. It's been this way for a long time. But there isn't a box asking if I've had sex with a woman who has had sex with a man who has had sex with a man. I imagine I probably have, I've never asked. How far should the association go? I guess you would have to stop many from donating if that's the case. I guess it comes down to conscience and if you want/need to play with bi guys. The tick box is there for a reason, guidelines laid down by the NHS. Again it comes down to honesty, both in filling out the form and from the people you meet. | |||
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"OP there are clear guidelines set down by the NHS and only they fully know all the reasons behind it. You're asking in a place where alot of people deliberately ignore factors or say what they want to hear rather than from genuine knowledge and understanding on things. This applies to this question even more so. If you needed blood and got something unexpected from it and as a result changed the quality of your life to the worse. You'd automatically blame the NHS and screening process without thinking to consider that the person supplying it may have deliberately ignored NHS screening rules when they went. I'd certainly hope those who consider giving blood would also take seriously the screening regulations prior to giving. There's obviously good reason for it and we may or may not agree but we should be responsible enough to adhere and respect the regulations and the consequences that deliberately ignoring them may have on the recipient's if something went wrong." | |||
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"I have gave 24 pints of blood and plan to continue for as long as they want it. It's only become a issue since starting to swing that you have to declare if you have had sex with a man who has had sex with another man in the last 3 months. Because of this I have avoided bi/curious men. We only practice safe sex so is this really a issue or am I worrying for nothing? I don't want to lie as this is someone else's health. Am I right to avoid these men? Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Jenny x" just because you wear a condom doesn't stop you getting STDs | |||
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"From someone who required three blood transfusions to save my life & gave my child the chance to grow up with a healthy Mummy.... Give blood! The screening process is very tight nowadays, be honest be thoughtful but please don’t let it put you off! To all the blood donors out there, I thank you from the bottom of my heart xxxx" My friends son has just gone through chemo and needed blood transfusions in between so it has made me more determined than ever and that's why I don't want to stop! Xxx | |||
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"Definitely declare it! Why would you want to put other's health at risk? " I wouldn't and that it why I have clearly stated I have avoided bi/curious men because I don't want to stop giving blood! | |||
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"Definitely declare it! Why would you want to put other's health at risk? I wouldn't and that it why I have clearly stated I have avoided bi/curious men because I don't want to stop giving blood! " Me too absolutely | |||
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"OP there are clear guidelines set down by the NHS and only they fully know all the reasons behind it. You're asking in a place where alot of people deliberately ignore factors or say what they want to hear rather than from genuine knowledge and understanding on things. This applies to this question even more so. If you needed blood and got something unexpected from it and as a result changed the quality of your life to the worse. You'd automatically blame the NHS and screening process without thinking to consider that the person supplying it may have deliberately ignored NHS screening rules when they went. I'd certainly hope those who consider giving blood would also take seriously the screening regulations prior to giving. There's obviously good reason for it and we may or may not agree but we should be responsible enough to adhere and respect the regulations and the consequences that deliberately ignoring them may have on the recipient's if something went wrong." This is my thoughts too! I do respect them, the job they do and the lives it can save and this is way I wanted to ask the question. This has confirmed in doing the right thing and avoiding. As someone has stated its not fair that a woman can have anal and donate but a man can not. I hope as we advance in life this changes for the better x | |||
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"OP there are clear guidelines set down by the NHS and only they fully know all the reasons behind it. You're asking in a place where alot of people deliberately ignore factors or say what they want to hear rather than from genuine knowledge and understanding on things. This applies to this question even more so. If you needed blood and got something unexpected from it and as a result changed the quality of your life to the worse. You'd automatically blame the NHS and screening process without thinking to consider that the person supplying it may have deliberately ignored NHS screening rules when they went. I'd certainly hope those who consider giving blood would also take seriously the screening regulations prior to giving. There's obviously good reason for it and we may or may not agree but we should be responsible enough to adhere and respect the regulations and the consequences that deliberately ignoring them may have on the recipient's if something went wrong. This is my thoughts too! I do respect them, the job they do and the lives it can save and this is way I wanted to ask the question. This has confirmed in doing the right thing and avoiding. As someone has stated its not fair that a woman can have anal and donate but a man can not. I hope as we advance in life this changes for the better x" Does it make it right? Maybe the women having anal should reconsider rather than be purely rule based. Rules are inflexible compared to principles and as such are easily abused and can also be used to justify or hide behind compared to principles. Principles reflect the truer meaning and understanding behind something. Just another thought. | |||
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"I would have thought that the chance you may catch something and damage your own health should be your first concern... And if you are going to do the to be admired act of giving blood you must take as many precautions as possible.... " It is and that's why I have safe sex also have passed on men who are bi/curious. I just wanted to see what others uptake was on the subjuct. To continue giving blood and know I'm as safe as I can possibly be then I shall continue as I am x | |||
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"I would have thought that the chance you may catch something and damage your own health should be your first concern... And if you are going to do the to be admired act of giving blood you must take as many precautions as possible.... It is and that's why I have safe sex also have passed on men who are bi/curious. I just wanted to see what others uptake was on the subjuct. To continue giving blood and know I'm as safe as I can possibly be then I shall continue as I am x" There’s a level of naivety here which beggars belief . The amount of guys on here that happily play bi when they fancy it , or when it’s required is huge . Yet they claim to be straight , and will tell anyone like yourself that they are 100% straight and always have been . Some even dress up as TVs and go dogging and cottaging , and believe me , we should know . Swinging is equally as likely to give you an STD as being a male bisexual is . Condoms will make you safer ( of course ) , but there are a plethora of stds which condoms don’t protect against . HPV , herpes , syphillis , and molluscum to name a few . So the bottom line is that you really can’t trust anyone to be honest about their sexual history , nor their persuasion while swinging . To think that because you don’t think you will play with bi guys because they say they are straight is just not gonna cut it . | |||
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"I would have thought that the chance you may catch something and damage your own health should be your first concern... And if you are going to do the to be admired act of giving blood you must take as many precautions as possible.... It is and that's why I have safe sex also have passed on men who are bi/curious. I just wanted to see what others uptake was on the subjuct. To continue giving blood and know I'm as safe as I can possibly be then I shall continue as I am x There’s a level of naivety here which beggars belief . The amount of guys on here that happily play bi when they fancy it , or when it’s required is huge . Yet they claim to be straight , and will tell anyone like yourself that they are 100% straight and always have been . Some even dress up as TVs and go dogging and cottaging , and believe me , we should know . Swinging is equally as likely to give you an STD as being a male bisexual is . Condoms will make you safer ( of course ) , but there are a plethora of stds which condoms don’t protect against . HPV , herpes , syphillis , and molluscum to name a few . So the bottom line is that you really can’t trust anyone to be honest about their sexual history , nor their persuasion while swinging . To think that because you don’t think you will play with bi guys because they say they are straight is just not gonna cut it . " Indeed. Most people on here will lie to get what they want.. Swinging is risky per se. If you want to be absolutely safe in your sex life, stay monogamous. | |||
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"I would have thought that the chance you may catch something and damage your own health should be your first concern... And if you are going to do the to be admired act of giving blood you must take as many precautions as possible.... It is and that's why I have safe sex also have passed on men who are bi/curious. I just wanted to see what others uptake was on the subjuct. To continue giving blood and know I'm as safe as I can possibly be then I shall continue as I am x There’s a level of naivety here which beggars belief . The amount of guys on here that happily play bi when they fancy it , or when it’s required is huge . Yet they claim to be straight , and will tell anyone like yourself that they are 100% straight and always have been . Some even dress up as TVs and go dogging and cottaging , and believe me , we should know . Swinging is equally as likely to give you an STD as being a male bisexual is . Condoms will make you safer ( of course ) , but there are a plethora of stds which condoms don’t protect against . HPV , herpes , syphillis , and molluscum to name a few . So the bottom line is that you really can’t trust anyone to be honest about their sexual history , nor their persuasion while swinging . To think that because you don’t think you will play with bi guys because they say they are straight is just not gonna cut it . " Point taken and this is why I posted on here for help and advise. I play as safe as I can. I have to trust the few people I have met. I can answer questions 'to the best of my knowledge' when I donate blood and know my blood will be tested before used. It's something that plays on my mind and am really glad for people's responses so I have more knowledge to go forwards with Thanks Jenny x | |||
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"I have gave 24 pints of blood and plan to continue for as long as they want it. It's only become a issue since starting to swing that you have to declare if you have had sex with a man who has had sex with another man in the last 3 months. Because of this I have avoided bi/curious men. We only practice safe sex so is this really a issue or am I worrying for nothing? I don't want to lie as this is someone else's health. Am I right to avoid these men? Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Jenny x" Hi Jenny, First off: well done you for being socially responsible and giving blood when you can. It’s a simple act but so so helpful that I wish everyone did it; but even so you should be applauded for your actions. And also for considering the ramifications of your alternative lifestyle. Remember that due to the changes in the ability to screen blood, Gay, bisexual and MSM (Men who have sex with Men) can now do so if they haven’t had unprotected oral or anal sex for 3 months. After this time, screening of samples can pick up any viral contamination of the blood. The reason is that these groups have a higher risk of infection; that’s not the same as a higher amount of infection. And as a result of the increased risks, the 3 month window also applies to them having protected sex with other men, just in case. Now you could argue that if you knowingly have unprotected sex with a member of these groups you should allow for the same period to elapse: but actually that shouldn’t be necessary. Statistically even if you did have unprotected sex with a bi sexual guy, the risk has reduced by a significant factor; although it is above the residual risk that allows you normally to give blood without any concerns. But if it is safe sex, then the risks are effectively the same as having any sex at all in the 3 months prior; and I believe an acceptable risk in the general harvesting of blood donations. It’s also worth considering that on average we are talking about one person in every 50 that might have an STI infection and one in every 500 being HIV positive (based on background statistics) Hope this helps reassure you, but if you can, discuss it with either your GUM or blood clinic before you next give blood. | |||
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"I guess it depends what is more important to you - sex or blood. There is no right or wrong answer. I'd love to give blood but the rules preclude me. It always struck me as peculiar that a woman who receives anal sex has no restriction on giving blood, but a male who receives anal sex cannot." Truly shocking in this day and age. The person who wrote that needs to realise that AIDS/HIV isn't a gay illness. | |||
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"I guess it depends what is more important to you - sex or blood. There is no right or wrong answer. I'd love to give blood but the rules preclude me. It always struck me as peculiar that a woman who receives anal sex has no restriction on giving blood, but a male who receives anal sex cannot. Truly shocking in this day and age. The person who wrote that needs to realise that AIDS/HIV isn't a gay illness. " No, no, don’t take offence: this isn’t about discrimination against bisexual or gay men; it’s just a matter of statistics: we are more at risk to infection that doesn’t mean that our population has significantly higher infection levels. | |||
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"Given the choice of a lady giving blood that will save someone’s life or her having sex with a bi guy and not....I’d prefer her to save a life. " She doesn’t want to have sex with a bi guy . The point here is that it’s incredibly difficult to avoid sexual contact with bi guys on fab , even when you are trying to avoid them . The op may choose to meet bi women in the vain hope of not meeting them , but who’s to say they haven’t met bi guys ? A straight guy may have a fuck buddy who happily meets bi guys . So even if indirectly there are so many permutations that mean the op is inadvertently misleading when she says she hasn’t met any bi guys . The simple truth of the matter is that if you want a clear conscience , you can’t really give blood and be an active swinger . | |||
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"I guess it depends what is more important to you - sex or blood. There is no right or wrong answer. I'd love to give blood but the rules preclude me. It always struck me as peculiar that a woman who receives anal sex has no restriction on giving blood, but a male who receives anal sex cannot. Truly shocking in this day and age. The person who wrote that needs to realise that AIDS/HIV isn't a gay illness. No, no, don’t take offence: this isn’t about discrimination against bisexual or gay men; it’s just a matter of statistics: we are more at risk to infection that doesn’t mean that our population has significantly higher infection levels." My understanding, maybe wrong, always has been that the anus is more susceptible to fissuring of the skin than the vagina, hence a greater risk of cross-contamination. | |||
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"I guess it depends what is more important to you - sex or blood. There is no right or wrong answer. I'd love to give blood but the rules preclude me. It always struck me as peculiar that a woman who receives anal sex has no restriction on giving blood, but a male who receives anal sex cannot. Truly shocking in this day and age. The person who wrote that needs to realise that AIDS/HIV isn't a gay illness. No, no, don’t take offence: this isn’t about discrimination against bisexual or gay men; it’s just a matter of statistics: we are more at risk to infection that doesn’t mean that our population has significantly higher infection levels. My understanding, maybe wrong, always has been that the anus is more susceptible to fissuring of the skin than the vagina, hence a greater risk of cross-contamination. " That is true; anal sex (whether it be either be between a man and a woman or a man and a man) is a more risky sexual activity; being indeed more risk of cross contamination but that is not why bisexual men are considered at greater risk of infection. It is an activity that increases transfer of STIs in both heterosexual and homosexual populations. The increased risk is that bisexual men are a bridge between the heterosexual and homosexual populations; therefore have the combined risk of each population rather than that of either. Please remember that gay men are now allowed to give blood provided they haven’t had oral or anal sex with another man within the last 3 months. | |||
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"Given the choice of a lady giving blood that will save someone’s life or her having sex with a bi guy and not....I’d prefer her to save a life. " I think it would be more accurate for you to say: Given the choice of a lady giving blood that will save someone’s life or her having sex with a guy and not....I’d prefer her to save a life. But having sex is not a barrier to giving blood safely; all sexual activity has some risk. To eliminate this completely if she feel she needs to, all she has to do is abstain from sex for a while (3 months to eradicate any risk completely) before giving blood. | |||
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"Most recent estimates for government surveys is that the gay population of the uk is roughly 2%. It’s a small percentage of the population, yet accounts for about 55% of new cases of HIV. That’s likely why the NHS includes these questions as part of their screening process. " Yes, but do remember that due to the improvement in the screening of donated blood even Gay males from this highest risk group are perfectly acceptable blood donors if they have abstained from oral or anal sex for 3 months. | |||
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"I guess it depends what is more important to you - sex or blood. There is no right or wrong answer. I'd love to give blood but the rules preclude me. It always struck me as peculiar that a woman who receives anal sex has no restriction on giving blood, but a male who receives anal sex cannot. Truly shocking in this day and age. The person who wrote that needs to realise that AIDS/HIV isn't a gay illness. No, no, don’t take offence: this isn’t about discrimination against bisexual or gay men; it’s just a matter of statistics: we are more at risk to infection that doesn’t mean that our population has significantly higher infection levels. My understanding, maybe wrong, always has been that the anus is more susceptible to fissuring of the skin than the vagina, hence a greater risk of cross-contamination. That is true; anal sex (whether it be either be between a man and a woman or a man and a man) is a more risky sexual activity; being indeed more risk of cross contamination but that is not why bisexual men are considered at greater risk of infection. It is an activity that increases transfer of STIs in both heterosexual and homosexual populations. The increased risk is that bisexual men are a bridge between the heterosexual and homosexual populations; therefore have the combined risk of each population rather than that of either. Please remember that gay men are now allowed to give blood provided they haven’t had oral or anal sex with another man within the last 3 months. " As you keep saying , gay men can give blood if they abstain from sex with another man for three months . You’ve even told the op that she can abstain for three months too . Most people who give blood give it every three months , so by becoming celibate we could all do so couldn’t we ? That’s obviously a daft thing to keep quoting since the very essence of swinging is a more promiscuous lifestyle choice . Something which many gay and bisexual men practice too . Hence why swingers , gay , and bisexual men are high risk so giving blood is not recommended . Now even if one isn’t promiscuous , who’s to say that the people you play with aren’t ? As I’ve said before , you make a choice . Swinging and giving blood don’t mix . Simple . | |||
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"Most recent estimates for government surveys is that the gay population of the uk is roughly 2%. It’s a small percentage of the population, yet accounts for about 55% of new cases of HIV. That’s likely why the NHS includes these questions as part of their screening process. Yes, but do remember that due to the improvement in the screening of donated blood even Gay males from this highest risk group are perfectly acceptable blood donors if they have abstained from oral or anal sex for 3 months." Thanks for sharing, I’m aware of that too. Was simply offering an explanation for the OP. | |||
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"Most recent estimates for government surveys is that the gay population of the uk is roughly 2%. It’s a small percentage of the population, yet accounts for about 55% of new cases of HIV. That’s likely why the NHS includes these questions as part of their screening process. Yes, but do remember that due to the improvement in the screening of donated blood even Gay males from this highest risk group are perfectly acceptable blood donors if they have abstained from oral or anal sex for 3 months." And it is virus such as Hepatitis that are more likely to be transferred through transfusion due to their increased abundance. | |||
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"As you keep saying , gay men can give blood if they abstain from sex with another man for three months . You’ve even told the op that she can abstain for three months too . Most people who give blood give it every three months , so by becoming celibate we could all do so couldn’t we ? That’s obviously a daft thing to keep quoting since the very essence of swinging is a more promiscuous lifestyle choice . Something which many gay and bisexual men practice too . Hence why swingers , gay , and bisexual men are high risk so giving blood is not recommended . Now even if one isn’t promiscuous , who’s to say that the people you play with aren’t ? As I’ve said before , you make a choice . Swinging and giving blood don’t mix . Simple ." Yes, I’m sorry that I’ve kept on labouring that statement to the point of absurdity (and I agree it seems daft ) but it’s to try and drill home that there is no particular benefit in avoiding contact with bi/bi curious men; and that to make that perceived difference one should be celebate; which is not required to give blood. I believe the OP is not correct in avoiding bisexual men for this reason. I agree that ‘even if one isn’t promiscuous , who’s to say that the people you play with aren’t ?’ and that’s exactly the sort of risk management that the health services are involved in. They understand that as each iteration happens the risk is reduced to an acceptable level. So the OP should not be concerned. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable even for us swingers to give blood with adequate sensible precautions: such as only after 4 weeks since any high risk activity and after a subsequent negative home sti test is undertaken. After all, taking my sexual health seriously (as a member of a high risk group) that’s what I generally do before having sex with a new partner: but maybe that’s just me. | |||
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